A/N: My first story, yippie. The idea came from a discussion me and a friend had after reading Breaking dawn. We thought Bella had it a bit too easy and started wondering how it would have been if she acted like real newborn. This story is a result of my imagination developed from that discussion.

I want to thank Dooba, who gave me some very useful advice on some things. Also a big thank you to Simaril, who had the patience to beta this chapter.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

The fire constricted, concentrating inside that one remaining human organ with a final, unbearable surge. The surge was answered by a deep, hollow-sounding thud. My heart stuttered twice, and then thudded quietly again just once more.

There was no sound. No breathing. Not even mine.

For a moment, the absence of pain was all I could comprehend.

And then I opened my eyes and gazed above me in wonder

Stephenie Meyer, Twilight: Breaking dawn p 356

The first thing I noticed was the lamp right above me. Its light was very bright. I could see the filaments glowing. It was so beautiful and strange at the same time. The light itself wasn't white anymore. Instead, it contained all the colors of the rainbow, even some colors I didn't know existed. They all whirled into each other and traveled through the air, which I saw wasn't so clean and crisp. No, the air was filled with all kinds of particles. There were brownish dust particles floating around, seemly in chaos. I looked more closely and saw they didn't collide; they stayed at the same distance from each other when the air was still. Though they were small, they influenced the light beams as they cast small shadows around them. Also, the side that was turned away from the lamp was more dark as it was shadowed. Next to the dust, there were other things floating around. It looked like little microscopic animals. Bacteria? Mites? It was fascinating. My eyes followed them until they reached the ceiling. The wooden ceiling contained so many details. Wow. I could see its structures, the grains, the splinters, the color variations. Was wood always this interesting?

It was so beautiful. I opened my mouth in amazement, and a whole new set of things registered. I could actually taste the air! I tasted the woody smell of the breeze that came from somewhere. Along with the taste came my sense of smell. Different smells assaulted me. The earthy muskiness of the wooden ceiling and the freshness of the little breeze told me I was in a forested area. Wait, little breeze? Where did that come from? I was inside so there must be a window that was opened. Before I could check, a bunch of different smells invaded my nose. There were a lot of new things. My nose wrinkled, and my nostrils flared. Something was shouting in my mind to get up and defend myself. But a more subdued part of my mind reconsidered that I should analyze it first. What was it? Was it dangerous? I inhaled carefully, and the different smells registered more separately. I could distinguish each on its own. There were hints of honey, lilac and sunshine, cinnamon, hyacinth, pear, seawater, rising bread, pine, vanilla, leather, apple, moss, lavender and chocolate,but it seemed like all of them were concentrated in separate areas. They belonged to different things. What was in this room with me? How many were there? If I guessed correctly, there were six other beings in my close proximity. Six of them and only one of me…

Suddenly, the instinctual mindset took over. All my muscles just agreed, and in an instant, I flipped off the surface I was lying on. I was crouched in the corner. My mind screamed at me that it was a stupid move. Now I was trapped. The threat would see there was no way out. At least my back was safe; they wouldn't catch me off guard or sneak up from behind. Instinctively, I scanned the walls for that open window. If I got there, I was free. During my scan, my eyes encountered the threat for the first time. One of them stood closer to me. I hissed and curled my hands further.

My guess was correct, as there stood six other people in the room, two females and four males. The females were pressed against the wall while two males stood protectively in front of them. The third male was blocking the entryway of the room and the fourth male stood between the others and what I now saw was an overthrown bed. He was whispering things, but I didn't hear them. The other five were watching me closely and guarded. One of the males, a tall muscular but lean honey blond-haired one looked angry. It immediately made me more hostile. A snarl rolled off my lips. He looked like he would attack first. I hissed at him. He became my sole focus for a moment. When I surveyed him more closely, I saw bite marks on his face, neck, and hands. My mind screamed danger! He was dangerous! The need to find that window almost overrode my urge to keep him in my eyesight. My body wouldn't allow myself to lose sight of him. The male stared right back, his eyes pitch black. The snarling sound grew until it was a warning growl. I sized him up. If I was fast enough, I could take him by surprise. I tried to keep as still as possible but my muscles strained to leap at him.

The voice of the male standing closest to me distracted me enough to realize there were others present. I had to take that in consideration. They were his friends. If I charged, they would all help him. I couldn't win. I growled in frustration. It was impossible. They had me trapped, and they knew it. My inner beast was raging and going ballistic. But if I couldn't win when I fought them, there was one option: flee. My eyes swiftly looked between the window and the doorway. The doorway was blocked by the most muscular male. Going through him would almost be impossible. That left the window. It was on the other side of the room. Furthest from me but also furthest from the others. My eyes snapped back to the people. They stood in the same position still. The honey blond one was still staring with his black eyes. My body uncurled like a spring and I leaped towards the window. Only to be stopped by the man closest to me. I growled and threw him off. I turned my back to the window. All four males changed positions. I crouched down. They wanted to stop me. I hissed again. Why wouldn't they let me leave? I just wanted to go. If they allowed me, I wouldn't do anything to them. What did they want from me? I got more and more agitated. The male I had thrown off me stood up and watched me very warily. I hissed at him. The honey blond one and the muscular one looked ready to grab me. The last male, the blond one looked concerned but also a little more laid back. As if he didn't want me to see him as dangerous.

I surveyed the situation before me and instantly saw that the entryway to the room – the doorway – was vacated. As I wanted to make my way there, a pixie like female sprung to block that path. I snarled at her. Were the females going to fight, too? The pixie was small; I could overthrow her easily. Before I even made an indication of what I wanted to do, the honey blond one took his place in front of the pixie. He snarled at me with pitch black eyes. He looked even more furious than before. I coiled back. I felt trapped and a part in my head wanted to surrender and hope for the best. My instinct, however, wasn't defeated yet. I crouched down. If they didn't want to let me leave then I would fight my way out. I realized that I wouldn't get out unharmed. That realization caused a new wave of frustration and agitation.

A voice tried to get my attention. A small part of my mind decided to pay some attention to it while keeping an eye on the situation.

"Bella?"

Now that I paid attention to it, it registered that the sound was quite beautiful. The voice albeit smooth held a note of edginess and concern. It put my on edge. I redirected my gaze at the male who had spoken, but I kept watch on the five other people in the room. It was the male I had thrown off. Why was he talking to me? Was it some kind of trick to distract me? My eyes snapped to the honey blond male. He was still in the same place, protectively in front of the pixie. I turned back to the one who spoke. Still feeling very agitated. I wanted to leave!

"Bella? Do you remember who you are? Do know still know us?"

I gazed more intently at him. Bella he called me. Was that my name? Why didn't I remember? Were they playing tricks with me? I let out a frustrated hiss.

"Try to calm down. It will help you think clearer," My eyes snapped the blond male who had spoken. I was thinking clearly! Was he suggesting that I drop my guard? No way that's going to happen. I wasn't that stupid. A hiss escaped at that thought.

"I'm not telling you to get out of your crouch. Just try to remember. Look in your mind and see if you find something familiar." The blond one suggested. I let the name 'Bella' bounce in my head: Bella, Bella, Bella… Isabella… Isabella… Swan… Yes, that was my name. They knew my name. How? How did they know that? I eyed them warily.

"Do you remember your name?" he asked again. I hesitantly nodded. "Okay, that's good. Try to search again. Anything?"

I kept my eyes on the people but at the same time, I tried to remember something… Anything. Everyone stood at the exact same spot, which appeased me a little.

It wasn't until now that I realized that I could do more than one thing at the time in my mind. I could survey the room and still search my thoughts with equal clearness. It was a difficult thing to comprehend. My body tensed at that realization. It was too much to think about. I had to focus on getting away first. It is a dangerous thing to get lost in your thoughts when you're in unknown territory and surrounded by strangers. I focused back on the question the man asked. Did I remember something?

I looked at them more closely. Their hair, their appearances, their golden colored eyes, their pale skin… I tried to recall similar things in my memories to compare them with. Why are my memories fuzzy? It's like I was looking at murky film fragments and photos. It scared me. Had they done something to me? Where are my memories? It was like they were slipping from my mind the more I tried to see them. I panicked but couldn't show them my fear. Showing fear is a weakness. They wouldn't hesitate to attack me. Instead, I snarled to warn them off.

A movement in the room got my full attention back to the room. They had moved. The males had pulled back a few steps. What got my attention most was the honey blond one. The pixie had her hand resting on his arm, like she was calming him. He looked a little less angry. His eyes were still black but it was like he was observing me more in interest instead of anger. I didn't understand. A foreign feeling washed over me. It was very subtle but there nonetheless. It was like a light blanket of calmness tried to wrap itself around me. I tried to fight it. I didn't like this strange thing. It wanted to control my body's actions, to slow me down. What was happening? It put me on edge.

Somehow, through the agitation and edginess, I found similar images in my mind of the people in the room. They looked similar but at the same time also different. The people standing before me were more beautiful, more detailed than those of my memories. But everything now looked more enhanced so maybe it was the same with people? Was it something they had done to screw with my mind? I fidgeted a little in unease. I kept my eyes on them but tried to delve a little deeper in those memories.

As I focused more on those images, sounds mingled with them. It was voices. Two of the voices I could link with the males who had spoken to me. The voices were enhanced but still, I guessed they were the same ones. So that meant that the other voices would belong to the people who were also present in this room. I pondered over this fact and slowly the frenzy that my mind was in started to diminish. My body was still tensed though. I would be ready to leap or defend myself when necessary.

"Bella?" I stared at the blond male. "Do you remember anything?" He asked calmly. He didn't push me and he sounded sincere. It didn't sound like he was testing me. So I nodded slightly.

Everyone in the room looked at me with expectantly. It made me nervous. What did they expect from me? What would they think I remembered? Were there things that they didn't want me to remember? That train of thoughts put me right back in the mindset of 'watch out, danger! Find a way out!' The same subtle feeling of calmness was trying – again – to relax my muscles. I narrowed my eyes. They were playing games with me. A snarl escaped. The pixie squeezed the honey blonde's arm lightly and the feeling was gone. He was doing this to me? How? My defense was back full force. He tried to make me more vulnerable. I couldn't wait and see what he would do when he succeeded. I already knew I wouldn't leave this place unharmed. But it didn't mean that I would go down willingly without even trying. The threatening male was tensed, and I guessed it was only the pixie at his side that kept him in place. It made me shiver involuntarily. The blond male called my attention back to him.

"What do you remember? Can you tell us?" Why I don't know, but I decided to give him some answers.

"I… I have seen you before. You appear in some of my memories."

He nodded. The others stood still. My voice sounded the same as theirs. It was smooth and flawless. A part of me knew that was different than my memories. Was it also more enhanced?

"Can you remember more? Who we are?"

I summoned those memories again and paid attention to details – as far as there still were details. They were so fuzzy! Names, there were names… Were those the names of who stood before me now? I looked at each person when I heard their names in my memories. It sounded familiar somehow. I obviously know… knew them before this – whatever it is – happened. Why can't I remember now? It put me on edge. I eyed the blond male warily.

"Carlisle?"

He nodded. The blond male… man… watched me carefully but there was also a sense of relief in his eyes. Why? Like a light switch turned on, the red haze lifted almost completely. It was like the beast inside of me deemed the situation safe enough – for now – to be more relaxed. I wasn't comfortable by an inch. But in a way, I felt like I knew them. I was still guarded though. I rose from my crouch, until I was almost a maximum height. The others kept still and watched me. It was like they were giving me time. Time for what? I swept my eyes over each of them.

The first one was Carlisle. I tried to recall everything I knew about him. Vague images of a hospital appeared, followed by images of me and him in a study. In some of the images, he was joined by a woman. The same woman who stood close to the wall. I zeroed in on her. Caramel colored hair, heart-shaped face. Images of her in the kitchen, images of her hugging me… She seemed like a mothering type. The name 'Esme' sounded in my head.

"Esme?" I tried.

The woman nodded and a small but kind smile appeared on her lips. To her left stood the pixie-like woman. She was half hidden behind the dangerous male. I tried not to let the male intimidate me but it was hard. My inner beast that had retreated wanted to come back. I pushed it down, for now. My attention went back to the small woman. Spiky black hair… Alice! Images of shopping and dress-up whirled around, blending together. It was difficult to keep them apart. Alice teaching me to walk in high heels, Alice hugging me… I was friends with her apparently. I shuddered at the images. My shuddering caused the male in front of her to tense more. It was all it took to release my beast again. I curled my hands, dropping in a half crouch and hissed. Alice grabbed the male's arm tighter and whispered something in his ear. Though I was hissing, I understood what she was telling him.

"Jasper, calm down. You're putting her on edge. Shhh, Calm down. She's okay. If we don't provoke her, she will remain calm."

The male hissed softly at her but relaxed his body more. The name Jasper brought new memories to the forefront. Jasper in a school canteen, Jasper and the others outside in a field, Jasper and me talking at the edge of that field. If I could sit down with him and talk to him, we would have been friends, right? Why was I feeling so on edge around him? His bite marks were a giveaway though. Maybe I didn't see them before? I surely saw them now. Suddenly another memory, albeit very fuzzy, overpowered me: Jasper looking at me with pitch black eyes, lunging at me. I growled at that memory and bared my teeth. The red haze overtook my mind again.

He reacted automatically and answered my growl with one of his own. The pixie tried to soothe him while the others looked shocked.

"Jasper, Jasper! Don't! She's just remembering. She's trying to recall everyone. She must have had an unpleasant one about you. Please don't make her angrier. She's not thinking rationally, you know that. If she was, she wouldn't fear you."

"I know she isn't thinking straight. She's a newborn. That why I am doing what I am. She isn't the sweet loving girl you know. Right now she's purely reacting on instinct. And I will not allow her to harm you or anyone else!" he said through clenched teeth. I hissed at him.

The muscular male took a step closer to him "Jasper, man, you got to calm down a little. You're putting her on edge. No offense, bro, but you aren't the most friendly-looking vampire right now."

My head swirled with this new information. The male said some things that got my attention. I had to process them, quickly. The honey blond one – Jasper – looked frustrated. My first instinct was to see who the male was. I watched him, took his muscled body and size in. He was big! He could do a lot of damage if he caught me. Tidbits of images including him popped up. He driving a huge jeep, him standing on a field with a baseball bat, him laughing at me for some reason, him getting slapped on the head and being scolded, Emmett… Emmett! With the realization of who he was, I appraised him with less fear.

"Emmett?"

He nodded and grinned slightly. It was forced because he still had the edgy stiff posture. Which brought me back to my musings. He said to Jasper that he was a vampire? I frowned slightly. The room was getting tensed again. Vampires…. Vampires… Gold-colored eyes… vegetarians… Cullens… The Cullens! They were my family. Was I one of them? Just as I asked myself that question, I already knew the answer. I raised my hands. Jasper shifted on his feet. What? I wasn't going to attack him, for now. He was really putting me on edge. I watched my hands. They were also pale, and smooth, no imperfections on my skin. As I looked up my eyes met the last occupant, the male that I had thrown off. No not male… Man. Edward. I loved him. I was married to him. Did I really throw him off me? Did I hurt him? In a flash, I stood before him assessing him and checking for wounds. He stiffened at my sudden action. The others were also shocked and Jasper immediately stepped closer. A warning snarl supposed to warn him to keep his distance ripped from my mouth. I wanted to make sure Edward was okay. He wouldn't prevent that. I wouldn't allow him. Edward's voice brought my eyes back on him.

"Bella, love, I'm okay. You didn't hurt me. I'm okay. I love you." He cupped my cheek tenderly.

"You don't feel cold anymore. I vaguely remember your skin used to be like ice… and hard. You are softer now." I squeezed his hands and inspected his skin. He winced, my eyes immediately shot up. When I saw his pained expression, I gasped. I hurt him! My hands released him as if they hit fire. How could I hurt him? I loved him and I hurt him. Edward shushed me.

"It's okay. Hey. You're stronger than me, love. It's your turn not to hold me too tightly." He stroked my cheek softly. Warmth surged through my body and I pulled him closer to me. My arms had a mind of their own as they snaked around his neck and brushed his beautiful coppery hair. I wanted to be closer to him still. It wasn't enough. My lips kissed his throat, his jaw, his cheek until, finally, our lips connected. The kiss was so overwhelming. A heat settled in my stomach and lower between my legs. I might have moaned aloud. I knew I did when I heard Edward's own moan reach my ears. I was getting engrossed in this lustful haze. I pushed myself closer to him.

A few snickers snapped me out of my haze. I turned my head towards the others. They all had a small grin on their faces. Carlisle and Esme had slightly raised eyebrows. Oh god. I became embarrassed. That was until I caught Jasper's expression. My beast was rattling again. What did he have against me? What did I do wrong? A frustrated growl left my lips, directed at him. If he had a problem with me, he had to tell me what it was!

Before he could do anything back, another thought invaded my mind. There was someone missing. Emmett shouldn't be alone. I looked at him. Where was… an image of a blond supermodel-like female crossed my mind. Rosalie. I glanced around the room. She wasn't here. She wasn't even here from the start when I opened my eyes. My eyes settled on Emmett.

"Where is Rosalie?"

Why, I didn't know but suddenly everyone was back on alert. It made me uneasy and ready to snap. Warning bells went off in my head. I asked again, through clenched teeth. I heard more than one intake of breath. But it wasn't from anyone in the room. It came from downstairs. How many people were in the house? Wasn't Rosalie the last one of the family? My uncertainty made me fidget and put my guard back up. The tense atmosphere in the room wasn't helping.

"Rosalie is downstairs," Emmett answered carefully. He was hiding something. I inhaled deeply, a move that caused some people to take a step closer to me, as if they wanted to keep me from going outside this room. This made me feel like a trapped animal. The smell and taste of new things registered in my mind. Rosalie's beautiful scent was easily recognized. Then the most awful smelling stench assaulted my nose. My nostrils flared. God, it stank! I hissed at the penetrating scent.

The scent was accompanied by a thumping sound. A heartbeat? What creature could smell so disgusting? I scrunched my nose.

"What is that horrible smell?" My question got different reactions. Some were chuckling, someone scoffed and others were watching my intently. I paid more attention to the ones that watched me intently. They made me most nervous, Edward and Jasper. What? What did I say? It was so confusing and really starting to piss me off. Stop treating me like I'm going to attack you or planning on how to take me down. I was so close to giving in to Jasper provocations. The only thing keeping me back was my fear that he was stronger than me.

"That would be Jacob, love." He eyed me as I processed that bit of information. Jacob? Jacob was here, downstairs. I tried to remember him. Memories of him assaulted me. But I also saw images of him and Rosalie arguing and bickering.

"You're leaving him alone with Rosalie?" Then a new memory, which showed Jacob as a huge brown colored wolf, popped up. A snarl ripped itself from my lips.

"Bella? You remember him right?"

"Yes, I do… Is it his wolf thing that makes him smell so bad?"

"You hear that, Jacob? Even Bella says you stink!" Emmett said with a chuckle. A scoff reached my ears from downstairs. So Jake was still here. Apparently, he was accepted by the Cullens. The wheels turned in my head. I tried to understand why. My silence was greeted with concern and anticipation. I looked at them. Their watchful eyes caused me to become angry again. What was going on? A hiss unconsciously left me as a sign of my frustration. Jasper tensed. My body tensed.

"Why is Jacob still here?" I asked stiffly. If they would just spit it out already. Their hesitation was endangering my tight hold on my beast.

"Bella…" But my attention was directed elsewhere when the sound of a second heartbeat registered in my head. My head snapped towards the door. It was beating faster than Jacob's, fluttering like a hummingbird. Everyone sucked in a breath. Emmett went back to his earlier position in the doorway while Edward reached for my hand. Jasper looked ready to stop me. The other three tried to stand still, looking at me warily but with understanding? I looked around confused and alarmed. Then I got angry. My beast was ready to break through. My muscles tensed further. I would protect myself. It didn't matter who they were.

"Who else is here, besides Jacob?" I looked at everyone, waiting for an answer. Edward held my hand and looked into my eyes. It was like he was searching for something. I didn't know what he was looking for. He squeezed my hand.

"Don't you remember her? She is beautiful, love," he said softly and with so much love in his voice.

I tilted my head a little, staring intently at his face. His eyes held so much warmth in that moment. Without warning new memories played before my eyes. They overwhelmed me and I gasped. It was very unclear and hazy. But those beautiful big brown eyes stood out.

"Renesmee!" I exclaimed. Renesmee, my beautiful daughter. She was downstairs? Why wasn't she with me? I looked towards the door again. I wanted to be with her, hold her, love her… Edward and Jasper immediately placed their hand on my shoulder. It only fueled my anger. Why were they restricting me? She was MY daughter. They wanted to keep me away from her.

"Bella? Bella, look at me." My eyes snapped to the honey blond-haired one. I was angry with him. How dare he… I was so done with him. My lips curled up.

"Don't keep me away from her. I have the right to see her," I said forcefully. Jasper ignored my command and looked impassively at me.

"Does your throat hurt?" The question was so out of the blue that it caught me off guard. I didn't understand why he would ask that until…

Suddenly, a strong burning sensation overtook my senses. I grabbed my throat, trying to scratch at the skin, hoping to sooth the burning feeling. Jasper gave me a penetrating look. I whimpered. It hurt. My mind tried to wrap itself around the pain, tried to understand what it meant.

"It burns. Please, please, it hurts." I looked pleadingly to Edward, begging him with my eyes.

"You're thirsty. You need to hunt. It will lessen then." Edward grabbed my hands away from my throat so I wouldn't damage my own skin. Right now, I wish I could scratch right through it in hopes that the burning would stop.

I nodded pitifully. Anything to stop this intense pain. "When you're fed, we'll see if you're able to handle being around Renesmee." My eyes widened.

A growl sounded from downstairs, triggering one of my own in response. Who does Jacob think he is? If he plans to stand between me and my daughter, he has another thing coming for him! Something brushing my fingers caught my attention again.

"Renesmee is half human. She has blood flowing through her veins. We have to be sure you are fed. Come, love, let's go hunt." Did he just assume that I was capable of hurting my own child? But if hunting soothed my sore throat, maybe I would be more at ease.

He led me to the half-open window. He pushed it open completely before looking back at me. The fresh air became stronger, bringing the wonderful smells of the forest with it. I inhaled. Bad idea because it only caused the burning to increase. I whimpered again. Edward pulled me closer to the opened window. Without waiting, he jumped out and landed softly on the ground. I frowned.

"It's okay, Bella. It comes natural for you. Just step outside and you will automatically find your footing."

I whirled around at Alice's voice. She nodded reassuringly and nodded again towards the window. I ignored my better judgment and reservations and just jumped. It was such a strange experience. It was like I stepped in slow motion. I could judge the distance between my feet and the ground. My body automatically adjusted so my feet landed softly on the grass. My bare feet, huh? I wasn't wearing shoes or socks. The grass tickled my toes. It was funny. I looked up to find Edward smiling fondly at me. Turning my head I saw the others looking from the window,

My attention was diverted when the burning sensation overwhelmed me again. Edward sensed it and grabbed my hands.

"It okay, love. It will become better once you had your first meal. Come on. I'll guide you."

He started walking towards the trees, tugging me along.