So while I was trying to write the next chapter of All Again For You, this kept popping up in my head and distracting me. I'm not quite sure exactly where this falls in the show, so bear with me.
Warning: this is a tearjerker.
Elena Gilbert is diagnosed with terminal cancer on June 22, 2012.
She's sitting in an uncomfortable chair in front of Meredith Fell's desk, wondering why the woman has such a sad expression on her face. It doesn't suit her.
"Elena, there's no easy way to say this, but you have cancer," Meredith says, her face somehow twisting more. She goes on to get technical with it, giving her a detailed explanation of the type of cancer, where it started, where it spread, levels, stages and Elena gets so lost she stops listening.
"-chemotherapy, but I'm sorry to say there isn't much-"
Elena, whose head had fallen into her hand during Meredith's speech, snaps to attention at those words. "How long?"
Meredith sighs, running a hand through her hair. "Roughly four months."
Elena holds back the panic she feels rising in her chest, threatening to rip its way out of her mouth.
"What about vampire blood?" she asks. "I know you've used it on your patients before and it healed them. Would it work for me?"
The brunette shakes her head sadly. "With cancer as advanced as yours... I've tried it on patients in a beginning stage and it didn't work. I'm sorry, Elena, but it isn't an option. As I said before, chemotherapy is an option, but-"
"Thank you, Dr. Fell," Elena says, abruptly standing up. "If you don't mind, I'd like you to keep this diagnosis between us. I want to tell everyone myself."
Meredith's eyes soften and she nods, standing up and reaching out her hand. "Of course, Elena," she says, shaking the younger woman's hand.
After giving the doctor a small smile, Elena exits her office.
Only when she's alone in her car does she let the first tear fall.
On June 30th, she breaks the news to everyone.
She, Damon, Alaric, Jeremy, Caroline, Bonnie and Matt are sitting in her living room, talking and eating Chinese food, the soft hum of the television acting as background music.
"I have cancer," Elena says suddenly, interrupting Matt in the middle of saying something. Everyone freezes, forks and glasses half raised to their now open mouths.
Before anyone has the chance to say anything, she finishes with a, "and I have roughly four months to live."
Jeremy punches a hole through the wall.
Alaric leaves the room.
Bonnie immediately leaves to look through grimoires for a cure that won't be there after giving Elena a kiss on the top of the head.
Matt tries to comfort a hysterical Caroline, all the while telling Tyler over the phone and holding back tears himself.
And Damon- well, Damon simply slips his hand into hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. It's comfort and a promise wrapped up into a gentle touch.
I promise to be here.
On July 2nd, Elena and Damon have a fight.
She's sitting on her bed, folding her laundry while Damon is pacing a dent into her floor. If the situation wasn't so serious, she would laugh at how ruffled he looks. Cool, calm and collected Damon has been replaced by a desperate man falling apart at the seams.
"You have to let me do it," Damon says, eyebrows furrowed.
"Damon," she says.
"You have to let me turn you," he continues, ignoring her. His hands rake through his disheveled hair, eyebrows somehow pulling even closer together.
"Damon."
"It will work," he says. "It will work. I know it will."
She sighs, running a hand over her face and standing up. "Damon, please stop."
"We can use my blood if you'd like, or Caroline's. It doesn't really matter to me," he says, not yet acknowledging her.
She steps in front of his path, deciding this is the only way to get his attention. It works: he walks right into her. Before she can fall backwards, his strong hands are wrapped gently around her arms, steadying her.
She gasps when his blue eyes meet hers, filled with so much pain and desperation it causes a lump to form in her throat. "Damon," she says, her voice cracking. She clears her throat before trying again. "Damon, I need you to stop."
"Stop with what?" he asks, blue eyes clouding with confusion.
"With the plans," she says softly. "Damon... I don't want to be a vampire."
Her words sink in slowly. When he fully understands what she's saying, his eyes narrow and he steps back, releasing her arms. She immediately misses the warm touch, though she barely even seemed to notice it until after it was gone. He takes a step back from her, as if her words can't affect him if he isn't close enough.
"Are you saying you aren't going to turn?" he asks, controlled fury in his voice.
"I don't want to be a vampire," she says quietly. "I never have."
"But you'll die," he snaps.
"If it's my time to go, then I'm ready," she says, forcing a matter-of-fact tone.
"I won't let you," he says.
She looks him straight in the eyes, her mind made up. "It isn't your choice."
The control he had over himself evaporates. Elena stands there, unmoving, watching as Damon uses super human strength to take his pain out on her room. She says nothing as he throws pictures and knocks things over, throwing furniture and ripping shelves clean off her wall.
Only when he sinks to the floor, hands tangled in his hair does she move. She walks silently to the center of her room, dropping down on the floor beside him. She wraps her arms around his trembling shoulders, rocking him back and forth as she whispers sweet nothings into his ear.
On July 7th, Elena is woken up far earlier than what should be legal.
Damon shakes her shoulder. "Elena, wake up."
She opens one eye to glance at her clock. She groans, immediately snuggling deeper into her warm covers. "Damon, it's 6:47. Go away."
Her warm covers are promptly ripped away from her body, cold air causing goose bumps to form on her skin almost immediately. She sits up, glaring at Damon who is fully dressed it dark jeans, a black t-shirt and black boots. Her covers are in his hands.
"Why are you in my room?" she asks, voice still thick with sleep.
He drops her covers at the end of her bed, clapping his hands together. "We have a lot to do today," he says.
"Can't it wait until at least 9?" she asks, crossing her arms over her chest and pouting. "I'm tired."
The calm that was radiating from him just seconds before disappears. "Four months, Elena," he whispers. "That's all we have."
Her eyes soften when she notices the dark circles under his eyes and his pale skin. "Okay," she says, getting up and walking to her closet.
She politely looks away as Damon pulls himself together.
On July 29th, Elena and Damon get into their second fight while waiting in line at the movie theater.
"You should have told me," he hisses, head leaned down enough to her own to keep their conversation private from the people surrounding them. Their laughing, carefree faces only infuriates him more. How can they be so happy when his world is falling apart? "You could be getting better right now!"
"That isn't what she said," Elena explains, her voice beginning to tremble. "She said do chemo, and have four months. She didn't say four months without chemo. It was we can do the chemo, but I still have only four months. Damon, I don't want to spend my last months here with needles it my arms. I don't want to spend it too sick to get out of bed, too sick to go out and spend time with my friends. I want to enjoy what time I have left."
Damon's eyes are shining now, the clear liquid threatening to spill over onto his cheeks.
She does the only thing she can do. She does the one thing she's wanted to do for a long time now.
She crushes her lips against his.
On August 18th, she can't stop throwing up.
She's at the Salvatore mansion, having gone there earlier to spend a day just watching movies with Damon. Barely twenty minutes into the movie, her stomach began twisting and after another ten minutes, she was running into the bathroom, dropping down onto her knees in front of the toilet.
That was an hour ago.
Damon is there with her, holding her hair back and rubbing small circles into her back as she continues to get sick.
He ignores her protests, ignores her asking him to leave.
After another twenty minutes, his worry increases to an almost unbearable level and he's pulling his cell phone out of his pocket, dialing Meredith's number.
She suggests he checks Elena into the hospital, claiming four months might have been optimistic.
On August 30, Elena isn't hungry.
She refuses to eat not only the hospital food- honestly, who can blame her?- but also the food from the Grill Matt brought her during his lunch break.
Jeremy and Alaric are both in the corner of the room, trying to keep smiles on their faces as they joke and laugh and talk about things that don't matter anymore.
Damon is laying in bed with her, her head on his chest, stroking her hair gently. He hasn't left the room once since she was admitted. Meredith has very kindly snuck him blood bags on the verge of being expired so he doesn't have to leave the dying girl in his arms.
She must have fallen asleep at some point, because the next thing she knows, she's waking up to the sound of a sob ripping through the air. She's in Jeremy's arms now, watching Alaric hurrying after Damon as he flees the room.
Elena is having a bad day on September 9th.
For the first time in the last two weeks, it's just her and Damon in her room. The TV is on, but Elena's not paying attention to it. She's listening to Damon, who is describing what Italy looks like.
"I'll take you next summer," he says, though they both know that she won't make it to next summer. "It's absolutely gorgeous during the summer. We can ride horses or pick grapes in the vineyard. Anything you want."
"That sounds nice." She forces herself to sound cheerful, when really all she wants to do is scream and yell and throw things, much like Damon did a few months ago. It isn't fair. She's too young to be laying in a hospital bed, dying. She's too young to be wistful, thinking of all the things she didn't get to do.
It isn't fair.
She's having a hard time staying awake on September 19th.
Bonnie and Caroline are beside her bed, each holding one of her hands. Damon, for once, is not with her. He's at home, taking a shower and getting a change of clothes. Elena's happy that she finally convinced him to leave this hospital, if only for a few hours.
She's the one condemned here, not him.
The three of them talk- well, Bonnie and Caroline do the talking while Elena simply listens and tries not to fall asleep- and reminiscence about their freshman year, their first dance, their first sleep over. Happy memories. Memories without vampires and boyfriends and cancer. Memories of simpler times, when the only thing they had to worry about was convincing their parents to let them wear make up and stay up past midnight.
They leave shortly after Damon arrives, clad in light wash jeans and a white shirt, though his dark boots are still on his feet.
"I think this is the first time I've seen you wearing light colors," she says, snuggling into his chest after he lays down with her.
He laughs quietly, his hand stroking her hair. "Black's kind of depressing."
She snorts, a giggle following soon after. It feels so good to laugh, she finds herself doing it again. And again and again until they're both laughing so hard they're in tears and can barely breathe.
For those handful of moments, she feels more free than she has in a very long time.
On September 22th, she makes Damon promise her two things.
She's taken a turn for the worse, and it suddenly dawns on her she might not be around next week.
She can't leave, not without making sure things aren't going to fall apart after she's gone.
"Damon," she says, breaking the long silence in the room.
"Yes, love?" he says quietly. He too, knows that the end is coming, but he doesn't dare mention it. Maybe.. maybe if he doesn't say it out loud...
"I need you to promise me something."
"Anything." And he means it.
"When I'm gone-"
"Elena-"
"No, listen to me." Her voice is strong and it makes him look down at her, into those lovely chocolate eyes he is so deeply in love with. There is a determination in her eyes that he isn't sure he likes very much.
"Okay," he whispers.
"After I'm gone, I need you to promise me you aren't going to leave."
His eyes widen. She couldn't possibly know his plans. He hadn't told anyone- not even Alaric- his plan of dying very soon after she does. Why should he stick around? His brother is long gone, a slave to the monster inside him, a monster only capable of feeling hunger. After this girl leaves him, what else does he have to live for?
She sees the emotions passing through his eyes, which allows her to easily read his mind.
She tries to sit up, something that's nearly impossible when she has next to no strength left. But when Elena wants something, she gets it. He helps her sit up, keeping one hand firmly planted on her back.
"I need you to promise me you aren't going to hurt yourself after I die," she says, her hands cupping either side of his face,staring deeply into his eyes. "Promise me because I don't think I'll ever find peace knowing that you gave up."
He doesn't want to promise her. He doesn't want to have to get up every day, knowing he'll never see her beautiful face, hear her melodic laugh again. He doesn't want to live in a world that she isn't a part of. But when Elena wants something, Elena gets it. "I promise," he says.
He expects her to look relieved, but her expression doesn't change. "I need you to promise me one more thing," she says.
He stops himself from sighing in exasperation. "What?"
"I need you to promise me that you'll look after Jeremy," she says hurriedly, as if she's scared she won't have enough time to get the words out. "I know you two haven't always gotten along and I know he isn't a little kid anymore and I know he has Alaric, but I need you to look after him too. I need you to make sure he doesn't spiral downwards. I need you to make sure he lives a very long, very healthy life. Promise me, Damon."
"I promise," he whispers.
Relief washes over her and she sags against his chest, sleep pulling at her eyelids.
Elena's last day alive is September 30, 2012.
Damon has a feeling, but doesn't say anything about it.
All of her friends and family are gathered in her room, trying their best to keep smiles on their faces when all they really want to do is cry. But they stay strong and joke and tell funny stories about themselves to try and relieve the seriousness in the air.
In the middle of a particularity embarrassing story Tyler is telling about his mom walking in on him when he was thirteen in the bathroom, doing something you most definitely do not want your mom seeing, Elena finds her eyes drifting to Damon, whose eyes haven't left her face once.
She studies his face, her eyes tracing his jawline, his nose, his lips, his eyes. "I love you," she whispers. "I should have told you long before now, but I do. I love you, Damon. I always have."
He gives her the most breath taking smile and leans down to kiss her lips gently. "I love you, too," he whispers.
It feels like the words the end on the last page of a book.
On October 3th, Elena's funeral is held.
Unlike the make shift funeral so many of their friends had, hers is a proper one. After all, no need to hide it when she died of very natural causes.
More people than Damon cared to count showed up to pay their respects to the girl that so many people adored.
Damon wants nothing more than to shove a stake through his heart right then and there, but he made two promises to her and he isn't going to break either of them.
His hand doesn't leave Jeremy's shoulder once during the service, but the boy doesn't seem to mind as he grieves over the last family member he had left.
It's only after the funeral is over, when he's gotten Jeremy into his car and is driving to the Gilbert household, does he lets the first tear fall.
Thoughts?