Another one of my random Leah oneshots. Enjoy and review!
People talk about me but I don't care. People are afraid of and despise me but I don't care. People whisper, gossip, laugh about me but I couldn't care less.
Because I am Leah Clearwater. The world can laugh, the world can reject me, the world can do whatever it wants. Because I am not part of this world. I'm an outsider. And I'm becoming what I've been trying to deny I am for years.
I'm becoming a werewolf. But for real this time, I'm leaving the little I've got behind. My mother, my brother, civilisation. And I'm going to be what I despise because that's the only way to forget. To not feel as much, I need to break away, form my own 'pack' but with only me in it. Because I'm a lone wolf, I don't belong to a pack, I never have done. It was always me and the other wolves. Not me, one of the wolves.
So now I'm going to be one wolf, alone.
I'll leave Sam behind easily, I'm over him.
But Jacob. Oh, how will I leave him? I know he hates me, I know he loves Renesmee. So why do I feel as though my heart will be ripped apart again if I leave him? Why did I have to fall in love again with someone who's already imprinted? Why?
But I know the answer. It's because I am Leah Clearwater. Doomed to a life alone, even if I want to live with others. I have to leave, have to go, now. But I can't. It would be easy to just run away, forgetting everything but the need to eat. But it would be too hard to leave Jacob, to never know what will become of him. I can't run away, but I have to, I'll go crazy if I stay but crazy if I don't.
In a few second's I have made my decision. Whatever happens my life will be hell so I'll try and make it as un-hell -like as possible. I'm going, I don't even know how to form my own pack but I'll do it. Because I'm Leah Clearwater. A lone wolf.