Summary: Professor Snape is given permissian to test all of his students with Veritiserum, but when he gets slightly curious,
the questions begin to get a little personal. Slight AU, this is still the whole Potions class, and Lav. and Ron were together last year.
In Their Minds
Professor Severus Snape smiled down at his sixth-year Potions students dangerously. In his right hand he held a bottle of crystal clear liquid.
"Can anybody tell me what this is?" he asked softly. Hermione raised her hand. Snape rolled his eyes. "Granger," he said tiredly.
Hermione smiled. "It's Veritiserum, a potion which makes someone spill their innermost secrets against their will." Snape frowned but nodded. "Correct. Now, Dumbledore has given me permissian to test you all with this potion and make sure that you are committed to the Light Side. And no, I will not question any of you privately. If you're hiding something, you should be able to say it in front of the class." The students all groaned.
Snape's eyes peered at the students. "Weasley," he said suddenly. "You're first." Ron swallowed and slowly walked to the front of the room. Snape poured a small amount of the potion into a cup and handed it to the boy. Ron took it and stared at it for a moment, then pinched his nose and swallowed it. A calm, dreamy look came to his face.
"What is your name?" Snape began. "Ronald Mary-Anne Elizabeth Weasley," Ron replied. All of the students had to bite back a laugh. Snape's lips twitched slightly.
"How old are you?" he continued.
"Sixteen."
"Where do you go to school?"
"Hogwarts."
"Are you committed to the Light Side of the war?"
"Of course!"
Snape turned to te class. "Would one of you all like to ask Weasley a question?" he asked. Every student raised their hand. Snape smirked. "Very well. We have all year to do this. Let's go through them all."
The Slytherins were first. "Weasley, who's your best friend?" Draco asked. Ron smiled. "Mr. FuzzyWuzzy," he said happily. The students all bit their tongues.
"Who is that?" Pansy pressed. "He's my pink stuffed bunny from my mom when I was two," Ron replied.
"What's your favorite movie?" Theodore continued.
Ron thought for a moment. "It's a tie between Barney Live and The Wiggles: Live," he said thoughtfully. Everybody began sniggering.
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" Blaise Zabini asked.
"Well, I want to have two jobs. One is to become an opera singer, and the other is to become a love poet." Ron sighed dreamily.
"Uh, what's your favorite color?" Crabbe finally said after sitting stupidly for two minutes.
"Pink," Ron said simply.
"Are you dating anybody?" Goyle finally came up with.
"Yes; Hermione Granger," Ron said. Everybody turned in shock to Hermione, who was bright red. Draco Malfoy, who had been chewing on a piece of candy, began to choke.
"Do you love her?" Millicent asked. Ron shook his head. "No. But she doesn't know that." Everybody gasped.
"So who do you like?" Yvette Serun, a shy blonde, asked.
"Seamus Finnigan," Ron said, and smiled softly. Hermione began crying and Seamus just looked at the ground.
"For how long?" Cassandra Smith, a dark-skinned Slytherin, continued.
"Mmm, I guess for about three years now," Ron thought to himself, then nodded.
"How do you privately show your affection towards him?" Marie Frower, a science freak, asked.
"Well, I keep little things that tell about him taped in my diary."
It was now the Gryffindors turn to begin.
"What do you keep in there?" Harry wondered. Ron smiled. "You know, stuff like hair pieces, torn robe parts, used up quills, that kind of stuff."
"Why are you dating me if you love HIM!" Hermione shrieked. Everybody winced and covered their ears.
"Well, I didn't want to hurt your feelings, and I feel sorry for you because you've never had a real boyfriend before," Ron answered. Everybody gasped again, and many of the girls glared at Ron.
"Why do you even like me?" Seamus asked pointedly. Ron thought for a few moments.
"Because you're funny, smart, sweet, kind, gentle, loving, caring, and so cute." Everybody began to gag.
"Did you know that I'm already going out with him?" Dean Thomas asked dangerously. Ron rolled his eyes. "Of course! But a man's allowed to dream, right?"
"Did you enjoy being my sister's date at the Yule Ball?" Parvati asked heatedly.
"Not really. She was kind of boring."
"Did you ever really love me?" Lavender asked hurtfully.
Ron shrugged no. "Girls are annoying. All they ever talk about are boys and makeup."
"Have you had crushes on other guys before?" Neville asked. Ron nodded.
"Who?" Mary Beecher, a redhaired Gryffindor with a loud mouth, squealed.
Ron began ticking off the boys. "Neville, Blaise, Goyle, Dean, Harry, and Draco." The boys mentioned all put their heads in their hands.
"Last question. Are you a virgin, and if not, who have you had it with." Ron sighed.
"I'm not a virgin, and I've had it with Michael Corner." At this, all of the girls in the room fainted.
Professor Snape was working very hard to keep in a laugh. Ah, the blackmail this would ensue! He tapped Ron on the head with his wand and muttered something. Ron blinked, then stared at the class. "What happened?" he asked, noticing the disgusted faces everybody gave him.
Harry just shook his head. "Forget it Ron, it's not worth it." Ron just shrugged and went back and sat down. Professor Snape shook the potion bottle. "We have time for one more today. Next up, Ms. Granger!"
Well, that was this stupid idea that's been in my head all day. I know it sucked, but please do not flame me. If you didn't like it, just don't review.
-calmbreeze