This may come as a surprise, but I don't own Doctor Who. I mostly wrote this because it was in my head.

"I'll have you know," Donna told him, though her back was to his, "I was never arrested before I met you."

She didn't have to see the Doctor to know that he smiled, "That must have been very boring."

"Yes, very boring," she replied her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"It's a good thing I bring the entertainment," the Doctor told her.

Donna sighed loudly enough for him to know that while she was frustrated she wasn't angry. He did keep her entertained in a run for your life, and hey we are in another prison on some trumped up charge, kind of way. She actually didn't hate the being trapped in a cell with him but she didn't like not being able to see his face. Some part of her, that she wasn't really willing to examine, liked it when they were forced to be this close. It gave her an excuse to touch him.

"So what are we in here for," Donna asked him after a long pause, which made her think the Doctor must be thinking.

"I'm not entirely sure; they speak very fast here, and use improper sentence structure. I mean if you are going to speak to strangers you should at least use the correct tense."

Donna shook her head but didn't laugh like she wanted. He hadn't answered her question exactly but sometimes that was how things went with him. And really, if they didn't have to shag-or-die or just die, she supposed it didn't really matter.

"Yes," Donna agreed, "It's very awful when you don't have a clue what someone is going on about."

"It is…are you referring to me, Donna?"

She smiled though he couldn't see it. "It's a real possibility."

"I can't help it that sometimes I speak a little…"

"Fast, in terms that no one outside of your species understands, I can go on."

"You're not being nice," she could hear the pout but he also sounded like she actually had hurt him a little.

He was so good to her, and he had, to his credit, tried to speak in a way she would understand. He really couldn't help it if his brain held so much that it exploded out of him.

"I'm sorry, Doctor."

"Oh, it's okay," he told her bouncing back easily. "Anyway back to your question, as best as I can tell, we are here because we looked too happy."

"They have a law against looking happy," she shook her head. She was never going to understand other planets laws.

"No," he corrected, "Just looking too happy."

Donna didn't have a good response to that, as she couldn't wrap her mind about someone not wanting to be happy. She really was happy when she was with the Doctor and they had been holding hands and joking. And the locals did frown a lot so she could understand how they would have stood out in the crowd. Still to make it a law seemed a bit extreme.

"So how are we going to get out of here?"

"Unless you can get into my jacket pocket we aren't," he told her, sounding oddly calm about it.

"I'm a bit tied up," Donna responded.

"Me too," he agreed. "I wish I could see you," he admitted softly. "That always makes these stays bearable."

"Oh, Doctor," she responded, as he reflected her thoughts.

And then as if someone had heard their statement the chairs they were chained to turned to face each other and their knees were touching. Donna pulled against her restraints but they were still snug behind her back so she just looked to the Doctor. His hair was wild and going in several different directions but she found that it kind of suited him.

"Hi," he told her.

"Hi, yourself," she was so thankful to see his face again. She didn't worry when he was near and though he had been behind her back she felt like he was lost.

"What's the punishment for said offence," she asked him. "Or do I want to know. I told you if you take me to one of those planets on the excuse to sleep with me, I'd chop off something you like."

The Doctor had the sense to look scared. "I don't think that this is "one of those planets" but it has been some time since I have been here." Donna glared but she realized that she probably wouldn't be real upset if it happened. But she would never tell him that.

They both looked up when the cell door opened and one of their captors stepped into the room. It was humanoid in the loosest sense of the word and he ignored Donna speaking only to the Doctor. And the Doctor was right, the TARDIS was translating but the words still didn't make sense. She was thankful she had a great big Time-Lord brain across from her, or she would never know what was going on. After a few more words, in what she was pretty sure was past tense, they were left alone again.

The Doctor was making a face, and she felt the worry rise. This was one of those planets, and she was going to have to perform in front of some aliens freaks. What was wrong with other planets, really she couldn't understand.

"Don't worry," the Doctor broke through her thoughts. "It's not like that, though I'm not sure it is much better. Although we have two options to choose from."

"So what are they," she just wanted to do them and get back to the TARDIS. The humidity on this planet was making her uncomfortable. Yes, that's it, it was the humidity.

"I'd rather not tell you," he admitted.

"Doctor!"

He frowned at her but seemed to know that he was going to have to say the words at some point if they were ever going to have to leave. "Okay, option one is we get stoned by the town for eight hours."

"Stoned?"

He gave a small shrug, "It's actually not really being stoned, and that's just what they call it. Murder isn't legal so they put up a force field, though why they still use rocks I don't understand. Anyway, it's more like getting hit with a pillow, over and over."

"That doesn't sound awful," Donna told him, not great but not awful.

"We have to be naked," the Doctor informed her.

"What?"

"It's not my fault that other species are…"

"Freaky?"

"That's a word," the Doctor told her.

"So option two," there was no way she was going to be naked in the middle of town for eight hours.

He sighed. "I don't want to say."

"Well you have to, so get it over with."

"We have to put on their equivalent of a play, for the king."

"Oh."

"Naked," the Doctor said with a swallow.

"What is wrong with these aliens?"

"They want us to be unhappy, and they apparently know that one way to accomplish that is to cause embarrassment."

"Well, it's working, I'm unhappy."