Title: An Awkward Evening with the Bennetts

Author: All Vowels

Summary: Based on a prompt on M&M from Tilie12. "I think Uncle Jeff should marry Aunt Annie." Also I don't own anything so please don't sue!

Andre opened the door to his wife's study group. The rag tag group of misfits Shirley had aligned herself with after his unfortunate mistake stood on the porch. He never really understood what she saw in these people, especially Pierce, but they were like family now so it felt right to have them in his home.

"Welcome! I'm so glad you could make it. Since we weren't able to have a rehearsal dinner, we wanted to have everyone over to celebrate!" Andre announced with a big grin. "Now I know all of you don't believe in marriage, or you believe a little too much in marriages," He stated with a look at Pierce, "So let's just call it a family dinner alright?"

The group shifted uncomfortably at the reminder of Shirley's wedding. Jeff and Britta's drunken almost marriage and Troy and Abed's normalcy had left the group feeling out of sorts.

Annie was the first to speak up, "Thank you so much for inviting us over." When the rest of the group didn't say anything Annie sent them a pointed look.

"Yeah congrats. We are so happy for you guys..."

"Yep."

"Ditto to that."

"Mazel Tov!"

"My condolences for the loss of your bachelorhood."

"Pierce!"

"What? Like you are actually happy these two are back together after what he did?" Andre's smile faltered as the study group refused to meet his eyes." I mean, I enjoy a hooker as much as the next guy but she deserves better than that."

"Ah. Pierce that was sort of sweet."

"And a little disgusting, creepy, and perverted."

"Alright Jeff, we get it. We promised we wouldn't ruin tonight like we ruined the wedding."

As Andre opened his mouth to defend himself a shriek was heard, "Uncle Troy!"

"Uncle Abed!"

"Let's play mutated dinosaurs that died and came back as ghosts."

"Awesome. I call the mutated long neck who has skull-e-osis." Troy laughed.

"Elijah! Jordan! What did I tell you about yelling in the house?" Shirley clucked as she came out of the kitchen.

"Not too." The two young boys pouted. Shirley nodded approvingly.

"Well dinner is almost ready. Why don't you two go seat everyone? Andre will you help me in the kitchen?"

The study group shuffled behind the two Bennett boys into the dining area.

"Hey where is baby Ben?"

"He's with our Nana tonight. She can handle him because he doesn't talk much."

"Yeah whenever we go over there she yells at us to quiet down and then says something about angina."

"Jordan you're not supposed to say that word. It's naughty."

"Why is it naughty?"

"You know…"

"No I don't. Why?"

Elijah faltered at his brother's question. "Uncle Jeff, why is it a naughty word?"

Jeff stared at the two young boys. When had this happened? He hadn't okayed Uncle being added onto his name. It made him feel old. "Uh…"

Annie jumped in, "Angina isn't a bad word boys. It is a term used for chest pain."

"Why don't they just call it chest pain?"

"Well medical professionals use different terms to describe different conditions…"

Jordan interrupted, "Why?"

"Well you see there are different types of…"

It was Elijah who chimed in "Why?"

Annie's face flushed. They hadn't even let her finish her explanation, "Because…"

Jeff caught on to what the two were up to and decided to join in, "Why?"

"Jeff!"

"What? The two little ones get to do it and its okay, but I join in and I'm the bad guy?"

"You shouldn't encourage them."

Jeff scoffed, "Are you, Miss Annie Edison, telling me I should dissuade young people from asking questions."

"That's not what I was saying."

"Abed, as an impartial observer what was Annie implying?"

"That you shouldn't encourage the boys to ask questions."

Annie huffed as Jordan and Elijah giggled. "Aunt Annie and Uncle Jeff are funny."

Annie look of indignation melted a little.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have implied you two should stop asking questions."

"It's alright! Mom tells us all the time we are insufferable!"

"Yeah but we don't know what that means exactly."

A little while later Shirley came in frowning.

"Hello everyone," She said in her sweetest voice. "There was just a little problem with the oven so there has been a slight change in plans."

"What's wrong with the oven?"

"Oh no did it start a fire? Because Abed and I left our fireman gear back at Casa Trobed."

"You guys have fireman gear?"

"Well we actually just wear footie pajamas under our regular clothes, but the principle is the same."

"Not exactly the same. It's not really fire proof."

Jeff intervened to stop the inane chatter, "Shirley what happened?"

"Well I put the turkey in at 3 o'clock so that it'd be done by now and it's not."
"Oh so how much longer?"

"Well Brit-ta could eat now since she is just going to have salad. But unless Troy and Abed have developed laser vision I'd say… a while." Troy looked to Abed and cocked his head silently asking the question 'Did we?' Abed shook his head in the negative.

Andre came out of the kitchen, "The oven finally decided to give out on us. So we have two options, pizza or Denny's?"

"DENNYS!" Troy, Elijah and Jordan shouted.

After a short trip the large group sat around two tables pushed together.

"Do you think they still have the grilled cheese sandwich with the fried mozzarella sticks inside it?"

"I hope so. No way! They have blueberry pancake puppies. It's like a pancake but it's deep-fried in a ball."

"And it comes with ice cream!"

"Can life get any better? I submit that it cannot."

The adults of the group groaned at the over full feeling the dinner had given them. The boys plus Trobed were particularly bouncy after eating their fried pancake sundae.

"This is great we should do this all the time."

"Yeah! Some else needs to get married so we can celebrate with Denny's!"

"Oh sweetie, I don't think anyone else has plans to get married for a long time."

Elijah frowned at his mother's words, "I think Uncle Jeff should marry Aunt Annie."

All eyes turned to Elijah. "What? Why?" Shirley practically shouted.

"Mom you aren't supposed to yell inside. Member?"

"Jordan sshhh. Elijah why do you think Jeff and Annie should get married?"

"Well, look at her mom. She's super short. The only way her kids would be normal is if she married someone super tall. Hence Uncle Jeff. Plus he's kind of old so he needs to get married soon." Elijah nodded his head. After all his argument made perfect sense.

"Old?"
"Short?"

"Old? I'll have you know…"

"Jeff calm down. Now let's go back to this short comment. I am not short. It's all about perspective. When you put me up against a giant like Jeff of course I'm going to look short. But I will have you know I am a perfectly acceptable height."

"Giant?"

"Look at you. You obviously never got shorted milk as you were growing."

The rest of the evening was spent with Annie defended her height after ever opportunity and Jeff slouching down in his chair to detract from his height.

Eventually the group dispersed with the Bennetts heading towards their minivan. Annie had driven to the restaurant with Troy and Abed, while Britta, Jeff and Pierce had driven their own cars. Hesitantly she approached Jeff as he got to his car.

"Jeff?"
"Hmmm?"

"I just wanted to apologize. You aren't a giant."

"Apology accepted."

There was a slight pause. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"This is the part where you tell me I'm not short."

Jeff laughed, "But you are short."

"Well, then… You are gigantic! A giant! A goliath!"

"Pixie! Midget! Oompa loompa!"

Annie's face turned bright red! "Why you… you… I can't even think of a word bad enough to call you." She turned swiftly on her tiny feet and started to march away.

"Annie wait!" With two long strides Jeff had caught Annie by the arm. "Annie. Annie look at me."

"No. I'm mad at you."

"Annie please just look at me." Her big blue eyes met his darker green ones.

"Fine. What?"

"Annie you are short…"

"Jeff you aren't helping your case here."

"Just listen. You are short. But you are perfectly you, just the way you are. I wouldn't change a thing."

Annie leaned in, and Jeff leaned down. Their mouths crept closer and closer together.

HONK! The two broke roughly apart.

"Jeffrey!" Shirley's syrupy sweet voice echoed across the parking lot. "The boys wanted to say goodbye."

"Goodbye Aunt Annie! Uncle Jeff!"

"Uncle Jeff! Remember if you like it you better put a ring on it!"

"Amen!" The Bennetts drove off laughing as Annie and Jeff flushed.

HONK!

"….. Let's go."

"We need to get to the dreamatorium to become the mutated dinosaur ghosts."

Annie smiled awkwardly at Jeff. "Well looks like I've got to go."

She went in for a hug but it ended awkwardly as usual. Time to go with the old standby, "Just pat me."

Annie closed her eyes waiting for the inevitable pat on the head but it never came. Slowly opening her eyes Jeff was smiling down at her.

Her eyes grew quizzical, "Wha?"

Jeff cut off the end of her question by lightly pressing his mouth to hers. Pulling back after the brief kiss he quipped, "They are right you know. You need someone tall so your kids have a chance."

He retreated quickly to his car and in a few seconds he was gone.

"Annie please? The dreamatorium does not wait forever!"

Annie smiled. Maybe spending the night with the Bennetts wasn't so awful after all.

So I should have been studying and instead I wrote this. I hope you enjoyed. Reviews are welcome!