His head was still shamefully resting in his hands when the Dark Knight appeared in the doorway of his quarters. That didn't surprise him much. The Bat probably wanted to scold him, since he was the reason this whole mission had gone sour, and had it not been for Batman and his sacrifice…
No. It did not surprise him that Batman had appeared in his doorway. It however did surprise him that the dark figure asked for his permission to enter:
"Can I come in?"
The voice still as gritty as in the field. He had changed costumes, Flash noticed. There was no tear and no blood on this one. His left shoulder was hanging lower than normal. Flash felt another stab of guilt.
He finally mustered a "sure" that allowed his teammate to enter and Batman took care to close and lock the door behind him. This was going to be one of the long speeches. The mere thought made Wally defend himself in advance:
"Look, nothing you want to say is going to make me feel any worse than I already do. I am sorry for what happened out there and I'm never going to-"
"Flash," Batman said as he took a seat next to his younger teammate and pulled back the cowl. A battered Bruce Wayne ended the sentence: "Shut up."
The gesture made Wally wince. He of course knew Batman as a teammate, but Mr. Wayne he had only met while visiting a close friend during his teenage years. Batman was a mythical creature Flash worked with from time to time. Mr. Wayne was Dick's sort-of-dad that had a pool and allowed them to watch movies on an 80 inch flat screen. In short: It was less frightening but also more awkward to talk to Mr. Wayne. Especially when he was wearing Batman's uniform and had a black eye.
"What happened", Mr. Wayne demanded to know, his eyes burning a whole straight through Wally's pupils as he analyzed his teammate's response.
"I failed the league" Flash started, looking away to avoid the scrutinizing gaze. "I didn't do my part, I didn't push my own limits far enough… I should have just pushed on. I should be able to ignore that. I know better!"
Mr. Wayne let him talk. Not until Wally had let the room fill with silence for some seconds did the older leaguer state his next point:
"I think you failed because you don't respect your own limits."
Wally couldn't hold back a snort.
"This coming from you? When have you ever stepped back from a fight?"
"I didn't say you should have given up" Bruce defined as he leaned back in the chair. A small tension in the corner of his mouth revealed the pain he still felt. He had jumped in to take Flash's position in the lineup when the speedster had collapsed. Of course, he hadn't been able to duck the shot Flash was able to avoid – should have been able to avoid anyway. Batman had taken the full hit in order for Wonder Woman and Aquaman to find their positions. He had been conscious after the hit, but he had a severe concussion and Flash had counted at least twenty stitches before he couldn't watch anymore and left the med bay.
"Look," Flash began, "I really appreciate what you did out there. Had it not been for you, this could all have ended in complete catastrophe. But you are the last one I need to hear the 'know your limits'-talk from. No offense!"
He almost added a Mr. Wayne to that last sentence. Batman he could call Bats without blinking. But it seemed wrong to call Mr. Wayne 'Bruce'.
"None taken" the other man countered with a crooked smile. "But I have always understood my limits. When have you ever seen me blackout in the middle of combat?"
Flash looked away again. Batman would never pass out, but he had fainted today. Like a corset-wearing woman from the 18th century. Some hero he was!
The shame manifested itself in a counter attack:
"I have seen you almost bleed to death. I have seen you collapse from pain. I have seen you with a broken back, trying to fight your way back up. I have seen you come back from the dead for God's sake!"
Bruce leaned in and folded his hands on the table.
"Have you ever seen me leave a fight with the league, where my role was essential? Has Robin or Nightwing ever told you about a time where either one of them had to face a great danger without me by their side?"
"Exactly!" Flash yelled, thinking the man just proved his point. "You just fight on – like we all should."
Bruce didn't even try to force his raised brow back down. Wally knew this look all too well: It was the 'poor kid doesn't get it'-look.
"Okay, let me put it this way: How many times have you seen me drink water on missions?"
– he did always have that container in his belt.
"How many times have I handed you a dextrose tablet while grabbing one myself?"
– more times than Flash could count.
"And how many times have you seen me lean on a teammate when injured, or even get an airborne lift - despite the fact that I find it humiliating beyond reason?"
"What's your point?" Wally finally asked interested.
"We need to know our limits to push them. That's probably what Barry told you, right?"
Bringing up the dead mentor – cheap trick!
"But we also need to know our limits in order to respect them, Wally", Mr. Wayne continued. "Otherwise we end up dead."
His eyes filled with concern when he stated the speedster's real name. It somehow humbled Wally while filling him with a shear sensation of comfort. It made him pull back his own mask.
"You have limits?" Wally asked to test the Bat.
"I have spent a great deal of time studying mine", Bruce acknowledged. "I have experienced thirst and hunger to the point where I needed medical attention. Just to know exactly how long I can push my body without endangering myself. It allows me to rationalize my body out of the annoyance of hunger without jeopardizing my physique. Something very important for a man with the physique of a normal human being – like me." He gave the man another crooked smile.
Now that he sat there, without the mask and with a battered eye and a slit brow, Wally came to think about how difficult it must be for Batman to be part of the League. Wally often got the feeling, that Bats was above the rest of them in so many ways that he forgot the man was just a mortal fighting alongside Gods.
"So to know my limits I have to experience them?"
"You don't have to be as extreme as I was. You can do the same as my boys and learn by comparison."
That made Wally smile – Batman calling the Robins 'my boys'. He would have to tell that to Dick later.
"We all have different limits, Wally. I am lucky to not need much sleep in order to withhold a high level of concentration. I can get by on three to four hours a night and a power nap at the office. While Red Robin for instance needs much more. On the other hand, I know Nightwing can't go long without nutrition, and if his blood sugar falls he loses the required awareness for the field, while Red Robin can function just fine without nutrition for up to 14-16 hours, despite the fact that he is still growing. And you should listen to Oracle's voice break when she doesn't get her three cups of coffee in hour during her shifts."
He put a gauntleted hand on Flash's gloved one. It made a bigger impression than Flash would ever have imagined. Batman nor Mr. Wayne seemed liked men who would willingly touch you beyond the courtesy handshake.
"We need to recognize these things about ourselves", Bruce continued with a sincere look. "Some things we will never master, some limits are closer than others. We need to respect that if we want to function beyond our capabilities."
He leaned back in his seat in order to remove his hand in what almost seemed a natural fashion.
"That is why Red Robin never does the last patrol. That is why Nightwing always has snacks hidden all over town. And that is why I just bought Oracle a new espresso maker."
He smiled again, knowing the joke would sit well with Flash who always kidded himself.
"But that is everyone else" Flash fought back. He was already feeling good enough about himself to taunt good ol' Bats a little. "How about you? You have no limits?"
Bruce wetted his lips and thought about something for a second – not looking for the answer, but for a way to explain it.
"I do, of course. As all others do."
He seemed to make up his mind about something, knowing that a truthful answer would finally convince the boy and let him explore this essential topic himself.
"I have my pride" he admitted, knowing the answer wouldn't surprise Flash. But then he followed up with: "And I have never been very good at celibacy."
Flash suppressed a snicker.
"Celibacy?"
"That is one of my limits" Bruce continued, seeming unembarrassed by the topic. "A fault many enemies have taken advantage of."
Flash didn't dare to ask again, so he chose to conclude.
"Recognize limits by comparison – got it!"
"And then find a way to live with them so they don't constrain you. Like Nightwing and his snacks, like Red Robin and his early patrols, and like me and my long showers."
He stood up and padded the surprised Flash on the back before leaving, knowing he gave the young man exactly what he needed.