Disclaimer: I don't own Bravely Default.

"Ow! Owie, owie, owie, owie, owie, owie!"

Jackal pinched the bridge of his nose as he heard the scampering of little feet rushing into his room. Turning his head, he saw the source of the noise, his exasperated expression softening, but only somewhat. In the door stood a little girl, a tiny thing with skin tanned from the desert heat, but sporting a disheveled mop of blonde hair jutting from beneath her hood that was uncommon in the region. Her blue eyes were welled up with tears, hand outstretched towards Jackal.

Rolling his eyes, Jackal motioned for the little girl to come over, the blonde zooming to his side, her pants swish, swish, swishing as she moved. Jackal almost laughed at the irony; her mother's innocent looks, her father's remarkable speed. The perfect combination. She'd make a great thief.

"What's wrong, Marzi?" asked the bandit, hoisting the girl up into his lap.

"I got a thplinter!" she squeaked, shaking her hand for emphasis. She still lisped when she was distressed. It would be cute if it weren't such a damning tell. Gripping the child's hand, Jackal found it; a piece of wood about four inches long, the tip just barely jutting from the center of Marzi's palm.

Jackal let out a low whistle. "That's a biggie. How'd you get that?"

"I was trying to climb a tree." she explained. "There wath an apple I wanted, and it was really high up…"

The thief sighed. Mother's brains, too. "You should've been wearing gloves."

"Lynx is using mine. He's practicing with mommy."

So that was where they've been all morning. "Alright, let's get this thing out of you. Where's the needle?"

"No! No needles!" Marzi squeaked, trying to wrench her hand from Jackal's grip.

"Oh, stop being a baby. It's just gonna hurt for a second and then you're done. Ah, here it is." Jackal held up the needle, a tiny piece of metal no bigger than the splinter, but to little Marzi, it might as well have been a scimitar.

"No, no!" shrieked the blonde, panicking.

"Stop freaking out! Everything will be fi—OUCH!"

Jackal shook his arm, trying to shake off the almost rabid Marzi, whose teeth had sunk deep into his wrist. She was still young, so her teeth wouldn't break the skin, but crystals, that hurt.

Leaping off Jackal, Marzi scampered out of the room, leaving behind one very enraged thief. "I'm gonna kill that kid."

"Hey, Praline! We've got a problem he—what in the hell?"

Praline stood atop the stage in the makeshift dance studio Jackal had constructed for her some months after they first started dating. It wasn't anything special, just a few dozen lights, a stage made of wood and some chairs for an audience. Time had been good to the songstress; her face barely showed any signs of aging, and she still managed to fit into the costume she had worn when she was seventeen, despite having birthed three children. Her blue eyes still held the vibrant shine that and so drawn him all those years ago, and her hair still glowed like the desert sun. She was still his desert rose.

Next to her, matching his mother step for step, was Lynx, the middle child at eight. When he had been born, Jackal had expected him to carry on his thieving legacy, but as time passed, it was clear he was gifted with other talents. He had been favored with his mother's ability to dazzle and delight, possessing an exuberance that was downright infectious, inspiring even the most disheartened of souls. Though he had Jackal's brown eyes, they shone like champagne, and sparkled whenever he was particularly happy. He had his mother's grace and natural rhythm, moving to and fro in a seamless fashion like a stream. Her ingenuity, as well, given that he had crafted his first costume at age six; a suit modeled after a lynx,complete with a tail and cat ears.

"Nice work, sweetie!" cheered Praline, scooping up Lynx and nuzzling his nose. "You're the best dancer I know!"

"You're still the best of the best, mom!" smiled the boy, wrapping his arms around her neck in a right hug.

Jackal facepalmed. It was a miracle he wasn't a diabetic yet between these two. "Am I interrupting something?"

Both turned, and the shriek that came from them nearly split Jackal's eardrums. "Jackie!" they screamed, diving at him from the stage. Jackal just barely caught them, the two performers, peppering him with kisses and crushing him with hugs.

"Get off me, the both of you! We've got a problem."

The two got off the bandit, Jackal dusting himself off. "Geez, you guys are gonna kill me one day. Anyway, I need some help. Marzi's got a splinter and she refuses to let me take it out."

"You tried using a needle, didn't you?" smirked Praline.

Jackal held up his hand, showing the bite mark. "Got any better ideas?"

"Tweezers."

"Tweezers are for pansies."

"She's six, Jackal."

"Fight pain with pain, that's what I say."

Praline sighed and rolled her eyes. "Lynx, find Marzi. We need to get that splinter out of her before she gets infected. Also, send Relgi here if you find him. We might need his help."

"Sure thing!" replied the budding performer, and he was off.

Jackal gave Praline a look, one she recognized as 'irritated' (a feat, considering that seemed to be his default emotion), Praline's response being a simple smirk. "Yes?"

The bandit blushed before turning his head. "You…looked pretty good up there." Jackal was spun around and pulled into a kiss, the smirk on Praline's face wider than before when she broke it.

"Yeah, I know."

"Uncle Khint! Uncle Khint!"

The Spell Fencer looked up from his sword polishing, raising an eyebrow at the sight of Marzi before him. His eyes immediately locked onto the splinter in her hand. "Climbing trees again?"

Marzi nodded, her head bobbing up and down.

"And Jackal tried the needle again, didn't he?"

Again, she nodded.

"The weapons cache on the 2nd basement floor's empty. You can hide there."

Marzi smiled brightly as she leapt into Khint's lap, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "You're the greatest, Uncle Khint!" And she was gone, the sound of her rapid footsteps fading into the distance. The Spell Fencer resumed his polishing, smiling slightly.

"Just like her father." he muttered, remembering the first time Jackal got a splinter, and the almost titanic tantrum he threw.

Relgi was the eldest of Jackal and Praline's children, at ten, and very mature for his age, stoic, reserved, and calculated, a staggering contrast between the bratty Jackal and the often spacey Praline ("It's like a second Chief!" Jackal had once said. His father's silvery-blonde hair went well with his mother's blue eyes and fair skin, and he was already well on his way to becoming an accomplished thief, having stolen once stolen the entire statue in Florem's town square at seven (though no one could figure out how). Jackal had thrown a fit, promising dire consequences, but the second they were out of the region, Jackal praised his on on such a successful heist, earning a swat from Praline.

Currently, Relgi was practicing his knife throwing in the training room, a wooden dummy set up in the center of the room. Two knives were stuck in its form, one right at the left shoulder blade, the other in the neck. Poking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, a trait he picked up from his mother, her hurled a third knife, the blade sticking deeply in the crown of the head.

"Hey, nice shot."

Relgi turned around to see Jackal leaning against the doorframe, trademark smirk plastered on his face. "You're just like me when I was your age."

"Thanks." he replied, producing another knife from the sleeves of his green cloak, a present from Khint on his fifth birthday. He'd rarely taken it off and seemingly had no plans to, so alterations had to constantly be made as he grew. It was perfect for both the desert heat and concealing blades, and green was definitely Relgi's color. "Is there something you need?"

"Yeah. Your sister's got another splinter and she's hiding somewhere. I gotta get it outta her before she hurts herself worse. Think you can find her?"

Without even turning to face the dummy, Relgi tossed the fourth knife, hitting it dead center in the chest. "Okay."

"That's my boy."

Marzi sat huddled against the wall of the weapons cache, a halberd in her hands that was far too large for her to swing effectively in her hands. However, the weapon gave her a sense of security, despite the awkwardness she had to hold it to avoid pushing the splinter in further.

"Hate needles." she muttered, sounding just like her father, clenching the halberd tighter. "I'll just thay here until my body's ready to push it out."

-knock knock knock-

"Marzi? It's me."

The thief-in-training froze, recognizing the sound of Lynx's voice. How'd she find her?

"Dad says it's time to come out; he needs to get rid of that splinter."

"Never!" Marzi shot back. "He's gonna use the needle!"

There was a moment of silence. "If I sing you a song, will you come out?"

"…Maybe?" She always loved hearing her older brother sing.

"Pain, pain, go away
When there's noting left, no more to say
Soothe the agony in your soul
Never forget you're in control
Pain, pain, go away
You're not welcome here so…" Lynx trailed off, letting Marzi chime in with an exuberant "Amscray!"

"The world's not meant for being spent
So come on out and just relent
And let the pain go away…"

Marzi applauded, turning her splintered hand and cheering for her brother. "So," Lynx asked. "Are you gonna come out?"

"Nope."

"What!? But…but…I sang! I even tap-danced…wait, you couldn't see that…"

"And I loved the song," Marzi said. "I don't want to have to deal with needles."

"…Okay…Relgi, get the door."

A shocked/terrified "Relgi!?" was all Marzi managed to get out before the lock to the door exploded in a blast of wind, Relgi rushing in and pinning Marzi to the floor. "Now, dad!" yelled the eldest, Jackal running inside, needle in hand.

"No, no, no!" screamed Marzi, thrashing like a wild Catamount. "I'll sick Uncle Khamer on you!"

"Yeah, because that's who you want on your side in a fight. Now, hold still."

"MOMMY!"

Slowly, Jackal pressed the needle into Marzi's palm, the thief-in-training shrieking like a wild banshee in a very overdramatic fashion. With skill and dexterity befitting his job, Jackal popped the splinter out of Marzi's hand, yanking it out, pocketing both it and the needle. "There." he said, motioning for Relgi to release her. "That wasn't so bad, right?"

Her response was Marzi getting to her feet and pummeling him with her tiny fists. Given that she only reached up to his waist, there wasn't much she could do. "Mean, mean, mean, mean, mean, mean, mean!" she cried, puffing out her cheeks as she assaulted her father.

Jackal sighed and gripped Marzi's head, pushing her back. Her arms now barely reached Jackal, though she kept swinging her fists, oblivious to the fact she was no longer connecting. Lynx was giggling up a storm while Relgi sauntered off to do more training, muttering about "Crazy little sisters."

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Marzi fell to the ground, exhausted. Deciding that she'd been through enough today, Jackal placed a hand over his heart, doing the most lackluster dying groans anyone had ever heard. "Oh. Ow. You got me." he deadpanned, falling to the ground. "I've been vanquished."

"Ha-ha!" cheered Marzi, jumping on top of Jackal and making him grunt. "Never again will I be plagued by the needle!"

"Dogpile!" Lynx cried, joining his sister on Jackal.

"Can we get ice cream?" asked the youngest. "The stretchy kind Aunt Agnès likes!"

"Ooh, me, too! Please?" pleaded Lynx.

Jackal sighed and rubbed his children's heads. "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Jackal, I heard—oh."

The bandit waved at the blonde that had suddenly appeared in the door. "Hey 'Line."

"We're gonna get ice cream!" the two youngsters crooned. "And I beat up daddy!" Marzi added as an afterthought.

Praline rolled her eyes and giggled, Jackal throwing his hands up in defeat. "What do you want from me? They're just kids."

END

Everyone loves a Babies Ever After story, right~?