A/N: This is a drabble that branched off of my Crossover series "Collisions" so some of this may not make sense unless you've read the very first crossover in that series.

Pineapples With Tentacles

by angellwings

"Why do we have to have Winslow involved in this one?" Casey asked in an irritated tone.

"Because that thing is not human," Sarah reminded him as they approached the AT&T store.

"Yeah, so? As long as I can shoot it then we're golden," Casey told her.

"You may be able to shoot it, but that doesn't mean you'll do any damage. We have to be careful with this, Casey," Sarah said as she rolled her eyes.

"Careful with what? It's a pineapple with tentacles! How hard can it be?"

"It's a pineapple with tentacles that can disguise itself as a human and knows who the intersect is," Sarah said through gritted teeth.

"I don't see the problem. All I need is an AK-47," Casey whispered.

Kelsey looked up from her customer to spot John Casey and Sarah Walker as they came through the door. She squinted at them and then turned back to her customer, "Why don't you take a look at our selection of phones while I talk to these nice people."

She approached them and walked them over to an empty corner, "You guys need something?"

"We have a problem," Sarah told her.

"No, no we don't," Casey told Sarah with a glare.

"Yes, we do," She sneered back. "WE don't fight pineapples."

"Pineapples?" Kelsey asked curiously.

"With tentacles," Sarah added. "And this thing can disguise itself as a human. AND it knows about Chuck."

Kelsey squinted at them, and took a step closer, "Why wasn't I informed of this immediately?"

"Better question why didn't your 'lightforce' contacts tip you off about any of this?" Casey asked her with a glare.

She rolled her eyes at him, "It's 'lightspeed', jerk. And if this thing can disguise itself as a human it would be harder for us to keep tabs on. Why didn't the CIA pick up on the fact that they hired an alien?"

"How did you know the CIA hired whatever this is?" Sarah asked.

"If I was a space alien trying to bring down the world the first thing I would do was infiltrate some type of classified information agency," Kelsey said simply.

Sarah and Casey gaped at her.

"This has got to be the strangest mission I have ever been assigned," Casey muttered.

"I wish I could say the same," Kelsey told them. "I'll meet you at Orange Orange in half an hour."

"What does that mean?" Casey asked her. "You wish you could say the same? How could things get any weirder?"

"Well, we could be facing off against exploding feathers, a disgusting bug-alien hybrid, or a demon bimbo with a supped up go-kart and none of it would be anything new for me," Kelsey said before she rejoined her customer.

Casey merely stared after her in shock.

"And we thought we had it rough," Sarah said to Casey before turning around and leaving the store.