When I first heard Angel was guest starring on the last episode of Buffy, I was so incredibly excited to see them fighting back to back again...then I actually watched the episode...
Needless to say, I lost my happy.
This story takes a lot of concepts from "I Will Remember You" and "Amends" and alters the "Chosen" plot to better fit those 'pre-set' details.
Sorry, but Angel giving back his HUMANITY so he could give Buffy a necklace...f*ck that sh*t.
Maybe Joss was highly restricted on what he could do with Buffy and Angel airing on different networks and not having the actors available for long crossovers...but I don't have any such restraints. ;)
He recognizes a dismissal when he hears one, "I'll go start working on the second front. Make sure I don't have to use it."
He's about to fade into the darkness when her voice halts him a moment. "Angel. I do... sometimes think that far ahead."
He turns, "Sometimes is something."
She meets his eyes, "Be a long time coming. Years, if ever."
He flashes her one of those classic smirk smiles of his, "I ain't getting any older."
Then he really does fade into the night.
Angel dropped the smirk he'd worn for Buffy's sake as he exited the graveyard, trudging on heavy feet towards his car. His unbeating heart hurt too much to maintain the falsehood even one millisecond longer.
If a second front was what she wanted from him-and that's all-well, he'd give it to her…what else could he do?
He supposed he'd been fooling himself when he thought she'd just welcome him back into her life with open arms after everything that had happened between them over the years…or rather everything that didn't happen. That was the root of their problem wasn't it? They hadn't even spoken since she'd been resurrected, and his mind wasn't going to even open the closed door that meeting ended behind.
Part of him had hoped that seeing the love of his life again would help ease the burning ache of loss that was throbbing in his entire frame…but it hadn't, in fact, it just added more fuel to the fire. His dearest friend Cordelia was still in a coma and his only child Connor was for all intensive purposes now, another man's son.
The distance between he and 'his' slayer had grown too far, she hadn't been able to pick up on his distress as she once would have.
'It's for the best.' He sighed out a dead breath, the familiar, and somehow because of it, comforting weight of emptiness settled upon his shoulders again, pushing down any last strands of hope as he dug his hand into his pocket for his keys.
His steps ended abruptly as his eyes registered Buffy leaning against the hood of his car, a sensuous smile lighting the darkness around her beautiful face.
"Buffy?" His voice questioned, unsure why she'd sought him out so quickly after brushing him off so fast.
"Hey lover." She answered back in a way they never used, pushing off the car and slowly walking over to him. "Listen to me Angel, I know what I said to you earlier, but I had to…eyes were watching us."
"Who?" He asked, looking around but hearing nothing out in the darkness.
Nothing.
"Those wanting to see us lose this battle." She told him gravely. "We have a spy in our midst, one working with The First, sharing our plans of attack." A lone tear welled in her eye, gently she brushed it away and regained her voice. "It's Faith, Angel. She's turned on us…again. I-I can't confront her at the house, she has supporters, those who think she'd be a better leader than me. They'd just think I'm jealous of her, they won't understand…"
He nodded, not needed more than that. "What do you want me to do?" He asked, looking deep into her eyes.
"She can't be allowed to betray us further…you'll have to…to kill her Angel…there is no other way." She said quietly, eyes quickly averting down at the ground in remorse for asking him to murder another slayer…one he'd tried so desperately to save.
"Sure." He smiled, "I'll just waltz into the house and stab her in the heart…you'd just love that wouldn't you?"
"What?" She gasped, both shocked and appalled at his casualty. "No, Angel this has to be done discretely…and as soon as possible."
He actually laughed at her, "Did you actually think I'd fall for that story? God you're dumber than I thought."
She stepped back, insult washing over her face. "What? You think I'd lie to you?"
"Of course you would, that's what you do isn't it?" He asked, advancing on her.
The shock dropped from her lips, replaced with a glare of malice, "How did you know?"
"I'm a vampire, Buffy's alive genius. She has a heartbeat, a scent, a physical form…you're just an illusion, a shell…nothing." He spat the last word.
The First twisted its borrowed Buffy lips, forming into a smile at him, "Well I guess you're not as hopeless as I thought, you know since I nearly got you to take your own life…"
"What can I say? It was a phase." He countered effortlessly. "Since you wanted me to kill Faith, that tells me she's important in this. All the more reason to make sure she stays alive and well to help send you back to the Hell you belong in."
The smirk on the First's stolen face dropped. "You can't change how this battle will play out Angel, you heard your sweet Buffykins, she doesn't need you anymore. She'd got a new vampire with a soul…a better one…one without a curse."
Hate welled in Angel's eyes at the very though of Spike touching his girl.
"She's been with him you know." The First taunted as she slowly paced around the enraged vampire in steady circles, "He's had her in ways you've only dreamed…filled her up the way you can't. Why it's no wonder why she chose him over you…who would pick a eunuch such as yourself over a fully functioning and well endowed man? One who can fight by her side at night, hold her when she cries, listen to her fears" She drew in tight, and spoke that last words into his ear "…make lover to her."
Angel turned away abruptly, taking a few desperate steps then stopping again, unsure what the emotions in his mind where doing to him. "She…she doesn't…they don't." he said quickly, trying hard to swallow his anger and disgust.
It wasn't going down easy at all.
"She does." The First insisted. "You know it's true. You're a vampire…you smelt it on her. His scent mixed with hers…what do you think she's doing right now? Better yet, see for yourself."
In his mind a window appeared as it had before, back when the First had been showing him his memories, a small flickering glimpse of Buffy's basement, of the cot Spike had been sleeping on…the cot that contained both Buffy and Spike resting in one another's embrace.
Angel tried to turn away from the image stabbing at his tortured brain, his gut feeling as if a car had smashed into it driving full speed.
"You left her so she could be happy, so she could be with someone who could give her the life you couldn't…and look what she did with your sacrifice…she fucked the next vampire she crossed paths with." The First insisted, haunting Angel with images of her with Spike, the numerous times they'd slept together over the years.
Violently Angel shook the images from his head, a sick feeling in his body as he knew the scenes where real…those weren't a lie.
"He has a soul." He tried pathetically, feeling the Spike of the past would be nothing like the man he was now…he knew what a soul did to the demon…he was proof. Spike would be different…he'd have changed with it.
"He didn't then." Evil supplied, replaying the images of Spike and Buffy as they tore a house down around them with their passion.
Rage like he'd never felt before erupted from him, with a roar of pure hate he slammed his fist into a nearby tree, smashing the impact site into splinters. With a scream the ancient Oak shuttered and began its final decent, crashing into the forest floor with an echoing bang.
"Feel better now, Honey?" The false Buffy asked, wrapping her arms around him.
"Actually? Yeah, I do." He replied with a cold smirk, turning to find a different beautiful blond enveloped in his arms.
"There's my sweet boy." Darla smiled up at him, running her fingers along his cheek, "I always knew you were in there somewhere, just waiting to come back to me."
"I didn't come here for you." He replied, dumping her from his arms and reaching into his car to grab a stake.
"What do you mean? Angelus? Where are you going?" she asked, moving quickly after the steaming vampire as he strode purposefully away.
"To kill Spike." He growled out, holding the stake tightly in his hand, vengeance blaring in his heart for that little British bastard daring touch what was his.
"You can't" The twice dead vampiress ordered, standing in front of him and grabbing his wrist. "Buffy will dust you the second you walk through that door."
"She can't kill me if she's already dead." He spat out, shaking off Darla's hand and disappearing into the night.
The First smiled, "This is better than I ever imagined."
…
Angel stormed down the street, murder in his eyes.
"Angel?" A voice called from across the sidewalk, surprise and worry in her tone.
"Walk away, Faith." He growled, eyes dead set on the house a block away.
"Oh, Hell no." She countered, seeing the darkness in his eyes. "You are not going where I think your going with that crazy as fuck look in your eyes and a stake in your hand."
Faith had been a slow learner in the past, but she was catching up pretty quick. She recognized that murderous look in Angel's eyes, she'd seen in numerous times reflected in the mirror. Buffy's house was in the direction Angel was heading, and she knew Buffy was currently laying in bed with Spike.
It wasn't a wonder on who he was meaning to kill.
"Leave." He ordered, brushing past her with such force she nearly fell.
Without warning she reared back and punched him hard across the jaw, bringing the rage focused vampire clattering to the ground like the stake he'd dropped upon impact.
"Can't do that Big Guy, and you know it." The dark hair slayer stood her ground, between him and the path to Buffy's house.
"Move or I'll move you." He growled out, picking his stake back up and facing off against her.
She shook her head, eyeing him with remorseful eyes. "Can't let you taint your soul like this A. You want past me…gunna have to kill me, and just so you know…I'm not going down without one Hell of a fight."
His eyes narrowed, sizing her up. "OK." He grinned, punching her suddenly and watching as she flew across the street and land in a parked car.
The alarm sounded for a moment, then died pathetically, leaving the night once again deathly quiet.
Stalking back towards Buffy's house he let his dark eyes flick back to the fallen slayer sticking out of the car windshield, deathly still.
His heart lurched silently in his chest, his very soul rebelling at his actions. The demon may be in control, but the curse still held the spirit within.
Painfully his forward momentum slowed until he cursed and turned back toward the crumpled remains of the car and Faith's bleeding body.
"Faith?" he called, sensing her heart beating quickly in her chest.
The moment he got close, her foot lashed out and caught him under the chin, knocking him back as thick blood dripped down his torn lip.
"Lucky shot…won't let it happen again." The pissed slayer countered, jumping out of the ruined car and bouncing on the balls of her feet, ready to begin this fight in earnest.
He rose to his feet again, anger flaring in him. "Let's make this quick, I've got important people to kill, don't need to waste my time on a number two like you."
The stab to her ego worked, her eyes flashed hate.
Faith charged forwards, screaming as she connected with Angel blow for blow.
Their fight in the rain outside his apartment flashed in both their minds, the meaning behind it as well.
Angel paused a moment, suddenly unsure what the hell he was doing here and fighting with her, the next moment he found himself dropping to the ground, a very insane glare flashing in Faith's eyes as she hovered a stake over his heart.
"Faith." Angel warned, realizing he was seconds from becoming a dust bunny.
"Angel." She spat back, the hate that had been in his eyes earlier now swirling in hers.
They both sat frozen a moment, their minds hungry for battle but their hearts screaming for them to stop.
Another moment passed and slowly, very slowly Faith lowered the weapon from its deadly trajectory.
"What the Hell are we doing?" She asked, throwing the stake well away from them.
"It's the First." Angel replied, moving out from under her and they sat panting from battle in the desolate street. "It's using our hate against us…poisoning us."
"Of course it is." She sighed out, "No rest for the formally wicked right?" she tried, her voice full of sarcasm and the hint of an apology.
"Yeah." He muttered, looking guiltily and feeling sick at what he'd come here to do…and what he'd nearly done to Faith.
'The First just manipulated me into trying to take out its three strongest enemies…and I almost did…oh God, am I that weak? Does the First really have that much power over me?'
"You ok?" Faith asked with concern for her friend in her voice, looking over at the nearly stricken look in his eyes, "Not gunna go all Kamikaze on me or nothing, right?"
The vampire offered her a weak smile, "No. I'm not. Promise."
She could see the pain in his eyes, and not from her fists either…but there was an honesty about him and she knew he was telling the truth.
"Good, no way I'm explaining that to B." She flashed him a smirk.
Thinking of Buffy made him shoot to his feet, a sudden fear washing over him.
At his reaction Faith jumped up, a little panicked she'd said something to set him off again. "Angel?"
"I- I have to go…I can't be here…it's too dangerous." He swallowed hard, his hands running though his fight messed hair, "The First…it has a power over me…I'm not…safe to be around…I'm leaving now…before something else happens…I'm sorry."
He turned and headed quickly down the street in the direction of his car.
Faith followed him, moving fast to keep up with the long legged vampire. She was still confused about what happened between then moments ago and could see the stress was causing Angel to unravel.
"Slow down Fang-man, whatever that was between us…it's over now. We're good." After a mild pause she asked in a lower voice, "We are good…right?"
He paused in his retreat, his dark eyes meeting hers. "Yeah…it wasn't us…not completely…we were…under The First's influence…it's passed…but I'm still sorry."
She flashed him another grin, "Yup, you're defiantly back to being Angel…got the major brood swinging in full and everything."
He didn't have a smile to offer this time.
Her hand reached out and took his, halting his forward momentum.
"Wasn't your fault Angel, the First…doesn't matter…you snapped out of it. You're stronger than the First, always have been."
He nodded, although not actually convinced. "Still, I can't be here. Buffy was right, Sunnydale is the last place I need to be."
Faith didn't like the idea of him taking off, she knew the odds they were up against and having a strong a fighter as Angel should have been a no brainer…but he did have a point…they couldn't afford to have attacks coming from the inside.
Not against an army as large and powerful as The First's.
And not when the very world itself was at stake.
"What'd it show you?" She asked, needed him to open up, knowing if he just shut down and brooded he'd never be able to forgive himself.
"Doesn't matter." The words dropped from his mouth with bitter grief.
"Saw B and Spike getting groiny huh?" She tossed out there.
At his flinch she knew she hit the mark dead center.
His jaw tightened but he didn't say anything, he didn't need to, it was written all over his face.
Faith just shook her head, then punched his arm.
He stepped back and rubbed his throbbing limb in shock. "What?
"You really can be a bone head sometimes." She told him bluntly.
His mouth opened but no words came out…his head was too confused.
"She doesn't want you here because she loves you, Idiot." The slayer clued him in as she leaned against a tree, folding her arms across her amble chest. "Course you know B, she's too proud to admit it, but it comes out now and again…not directly, but you can hear it in her voice. Her being with that cheap blond knockoff Angel…well she needed someone to fill the hole and …and he loves her. Can't say I've see it first hand…but he treats her right…she needed that, needed someone. You honestly think she'd just be sitting at the window waiting for you to lurk back into her life? You know, not all of us can sit alone in a dark basement and brood our lives away. You can't blame B for going out and getting what she needed in your absence. So what if she does love him? She still loves you more…that's the whole mess with B, she knows she'll always love you more."
His dark eyes almost watered, his downcast gaze shimmering with the un-shed tears.
"I know." He whispered at length, "Deep down, inside, I know it…doesn't mean it doesn't…"
"Hurt?" She offered.
"More like rips me to shreds, it cuts me up inside and she just…" He paused, unsure if he could say it. 'Forgot.'
"It cuts her too." Faith said quietly, "But she's good at patching the holes so the rest of us don't see."
He nodded, knowing how strong 'his' slayer was…how strong she had to be to survive what he's done to her in the past.
He didn't blame her for being with Spike, yes he hated it, but blame? No…if she needed someone to be with…it was his fault for putting her in that position. He understood his curse was the real problem, he knew he was weak…he wanted her so badly and taking her would destroy them all. He'd broken her heart because if it…because he was too selfish to stand the pain of being with her. He feared for himself, that he wouldn't be able to keep control…and she'd suffer for it too. He didn't want her to suffer, so he's thought leaving her would save her that…but obviously it hadn't.
"Thank you." He whispered to the younger slayer standing beside him, her words helping him realize his hate of Spike was really a hate for himself. Not saying he wouldn't beat the blond vampire into pulp if he saw him again…but he knew the blame was all his.
"I didn't give you another complex did I?" The redeemed Slayer asked, a mix of smirk and actual concern in her voice.
He gave her a slight grin, "No…maybe…doesn't matter. It'll stack with the others."
"You heading back to LA now?" She questioned, wondering if that's where he'd really go if he said yes, or if he'd go off to brood someplace until this whole End of Days was over with.
"Yeah…I've got…responsibilities. People depend on me…can't let them down." 'Again' He though of Cordelia in the coma Jasmine's birth forced her into, of his son now living a new life without knowing him...of his new position as CEO of a company he spent four years of his life trying to wipe off the face of the Earth.
Her brunette head nodded, dark eyes seeing the pain in his. She could tell he wasn't going back to a world of happiness and rainbows…the life of a champion did suck sometimes…most of the time…and the benefit plan really sucked.
"Better go, sun'll be up in a few hours. Don't wanna hear on the news about of a pile of dust found in a car on the highway to LA." She said to hide her actual concern.
"No dust…actually the car has Necrotempered glass, completely sun resistant. Safe as houses." He offered with a lightness to break out of his depression.
Her dark eyebrows shot up, "Really? You just yanking my chain?"
"No, honest." He replied truthfully.
"Sweet deal. Well take care of yourself Angel, I mean it. You need something…and I actually survive this…I'll be there for you…anything…just call."
He nodded, "Thanks, I will. Keep an eye out Faith, the First…it wanted…it wanted you out of the picture, so be wary. And…don't mention this to Buffy." Angel looked pensive a moment, he knew full well she'd be furious if she learned he'd lurked around after being dismissed. Thanksgiving was enough of a kick in the chest to keep that mistake from being repeated.
"Not a word from these lips, promise." She told him, crossing her heart.
"Thank you." He felt like the words weren't enough.
"You ain't getting the itch to hug are you?" she joked, seeing he was trying to decide whether to or not.
At his slight embarrassment she knew he had been.
"You big softy." She grinned, pulling him into a Slayer hug despite her banter.
After the improve hug they both separated, feeling better than before now that the flow was back in place between them.
"See you around." He told her, making sure she knew he expected her to live though this. He didn't say the words, but she knew he meant for her to watch out for Buffy too.
"Like wise. Maybe we can hang when it's not the End of Days huh?" She grinned.
"Yeah."
They both turned and walked their separate ways.
…
In the darkness The First watched on as Darla, a scowl on her once pretty face. "That wasn't what I'd hoped to see from you my poor lost boy…but it'll do."
…
A short while later, Angel was cruising down the highway back to his prison…no, his home...at Wolfram & Hart.
His head was a jumbled mess and he was rather surprised he hadn't driven off the road yet as his mind clearly wasn't focused on the wheel or what was beyond it.
Certain key words kept popping up though the miles. A big one being 'The End of Days', he'd heard that phrase once before, spoken from the mouth of the Mohra demon moments before its final death. He'd literally given his life to stop that from happening…but was it now coming true? Was this the battle it had spoken of?
'Together you were strong, alone you will die.' Drifted from the bowels of his mind.
Shaking that whole perfect torture day from his mind he switched lanes and tried to focus on the road.
Didn't work.
Another discomforting thought rose up, on how easily The First Evil had warped his own mind into some very Angelus-like feelings…how quickly his own insecurities had been played against him. It had transformed into Darla even, picking the one face beside Buffy's that could really cut him deep. He'd forgiven her for the things she'd done to him, redeemed herself in his eyes forever with her sacrifice so their son could live…a son he lost…but that was a brood session powerful enough for its own lifetime, he didn't have time for it now.
The conversations with the false Buffy replayed over and over again like a broken record, unable to skip to the next track. Something was there he had missed, something so obvious he couldn't even see it even though it stared right at him waving a glowing neon sign.
She'd stood there waiting for him, a smile on her face. He knew it wasn't Buffy almost immediately, The First had no shape, no tangible form. It was nothing.
'Darla' had pleaded with him not to go after Spike, that he'd be killed. He'd pulled her hand free and stormed past her.
Years back replayed, 'Jenny' hovering over him, tormenting him with her face, her words. Her hands running though his hair, the feel of her fingers sending waves of horror over him…Her hands pulling his away from his ears so she could continue her poisonous speech into his breaking mind…
He slammed on the brakes, skidding wildly into the breakdown lane.
His mouth dropped open in utter 'DUH!'
The First wasn't a physical form…but it HAD touched him.
Buffy's words from Kingman's Bluff suddenly washing into his mind like a wave following a break in the dam. "Maybe this evil did bring you back, but if it did, it's because it needs you. And that means that you can hurt it."
"It can touch me." He said quietly to the steering wheel, "Then I can touch it." A second passed and for the first time in months, a real grin lit his face. "If I can touch it, I can hurt it…I can kill it."
Without a second more hesitation, he floored it back onto the highways and very illegally and dangerously jumped the open spaced median and jumped into the Northbound lane heading back to Sunnydale.
He'd never felt so much purpose in his life.
Of course that never ended well...
Half an hour passed in barely suppressed anxiousness as he sped back towards the, how the Spanish settlers called it, Boca del Infierno.
Angel saw the exit for Sunnydale approaching and suddenly remembered Buffy's request for a second front. Figuring more fighters for the cause wouldn't be a bad idea, he pulled his cell from his pocket and dialed, then waited impatiently for the call to connect.
It was late, after midnight by now, so it took a four or five rings before a bleary British voice asked, "Hello?"
"Rise and shine Wes, we have an apocalypse to avert. Summon the troops, get to Sunnydale ASAP." After a moment of pause a smirk slid across his face. "Take the chopper."
He took a few minutes to fill the ex-watcher in on the big details, explaining about how he could kill the First.
Wesley was silent during most of the call, nodding rapidly against the phone and absorbing all the details so he could pick the right volumes to search for more info on the way to Sunnydale.
'Once a Watcher, Always a watcher.' Angel thought amused as he heard the text pages flipping in the background.
When they'd said all they could, Wesley disconnected and stared in almost disbelief at the phone a moment, letting his mind settle.
"Who was on the phone?" A sleepy voice called from the bed beside him.
"Angel. Seems were have a bit of an apocalypse in Sunnydale." He answered, his blue eyes settling on the naked woman wrapped in his sheets.
"Oh I've never been there, heard there are some strange physics in that town. When do we leave?" Fred asked, already eager for their first apocalypse as a couple.
"As soon as you're ready to go my dear." He smiled, kissing her cheek.
Ten minutes later they were dressed, Wesley carrying a heavy armload of books while Fred slung a bag loaded with weapons over her shoulder and dialed Gunn to fill him on the action.
…
Angel was just passing the Sunnydale: 12 miles sign when he nearly jumped out of the car in surprise.
"Hey man, been a while. Boy you look pale, maybe you need a drink or somethin to help settle you down? I would…but well…you know..." Spoke the man who suddenly appeared in the vehicle beside him.
Angel's brown eyes were as big as saucers as he stared at his long dead friend.
"Umm, Angel buddy, you're about to hit a tree…" The dark haired man enlightened the staring vampire.
Angel turned his head-and the wheel- just in time to avoid a not-fatal-for-him-but-certainly-time-consuming crash.
Once safely back on the road he swallowed his shock and turned back to his unexpected passenger. "Doyle…you're dead."
"So aren't you but hey, I never rubbed it in." He replied, the same cheery expression dancing in those blue eyes as the Irishman always had.
"Uh." The souled demon replied elegantly, at the loss for words. Seeing Doyle again was a shock, and he realized now how badly he'd missed his first friend in…well a majority of his existence.
"Doyle, how are you here…why are you here?" he asked when he finally found his tongue, eyes flickering between the apparition beside him and the road in front.
The half-demon had patiently waited for the vampire to ask his questions as he knew he would, turning on the radio and finding a catchy tune. "I think you know the answer to that."
"Humor me." The older being requested.
"Seems you figured most of it out, see I knew you'd get the hang of the hero biz. Anyways, the Powers sent me, you got the basics but you still need some details to get you through this fight. Just showin up won't win this battle…I won't lie to ya Angel, it's a one way trip you're takin." The half-Bracken demon admitted.
Angel swallowed hard, he'd had an idea that might be the case, but hearing it was something else entirely. "Never mind the cushy padding, lay it to me straight Doyle, what do I have to do?"
Sighing, the Irish half-demon told him everything he'd been told. "That necklace you gave your sweetie, it's powerful all right. Once activated, the crystal will channel pure light energy into the Hellmouth, cleansing the evil and shutting it down for good. The crystal can purify anything, including The First. The only drawback is...it just needs the right fuel to work."
"Fuel?" The dark haired vampire inquired, a sinking feeling in his gut.
Doyle nodded, "It needs a soul, Angel."
"Of course it does." Angel mumbled, really realizing for the first time that night, this really was a suicide mission. He wouldn't just die...he'd cease to exist in every manor.
"No one can make you do this, Big Guy, it has to be a...a willing sacrifice sort of thing..don't ask why, you know how the rules go..."
Angel sat in silence for a while, absorbing the details. When Doyle finally fell silent too, he nodded his head.
"Ok. I…I can do that." The vampire said slowly, willing it to be the case. He had to, the world wouldn't save itself.
"You never know until you've been tested, right?" The blue eyed Irishman asked with a somber smile.
A tight smile stretched over the vampire's face, remembering how Doyle died to save the lives of the half-demons running from the scourge…how his best-friend had died to save him.
"Right." He agreed, knowing if he failed this test…everything was over…Buffy would die too.
Composing himself, he found a peace he'd previously missed, a finality to his inhumanly long and desolate un-life.
This test would destroy him, but his sacrifice would save not only the world, but in a way, it would save him too. The painful memories, the overwhelming guilt, the burning conflict between man and demon would stop once his task was complete.
His reward would be oblivion.
An end to his suffering, his depression...an end to his dreary existence of nothing but disappointment and failure in everything that mattered to him.
He was mildly afraid that he was so content with the prospect of annihilation.
'Maybe that's why I fell in love with a Vampire Slayer?' The thought drifted in his mind lightly.
After a short silence, the more recently dead man turned to his friend, "Seems this has been in the works for a long while now, this is the fight you gave your humanity back for."
Angel's eyes widened as he regarded his friend. "Oh." Yeah, he'd thought about it, but again, hearing it was harder to swallow.
Doyle shrugged, "Well I guess it was for the best right? I mean without you fightin, the world would have ended…your mortal self would have died in the apocalypse anyways…so not so much a great loss now is it? A few years of possible bliss then everythin ends? Or a few years fightin the good fight so the world will continue on? Ya helped so many people along the way, righted a few paths what woulda been lost otherwise." Looking at the demon beside him Doyle smiled, "Ya did good Angel. Nobody's perfect, but with what ya had…did a lot more than anyone thought ya'd do."
Angel forced down the emotion rising within him, somewhat relieved to know if he'd kept his humanity, any life he'd shared with Buffy would have ended for certain come this fight. Giving it back ruined their chance to be together…but at least she'd live, he'd make damn sure of it.
That was something he'd been needing to hear for the last 4 years, that he hadn't just thrown his only shot away like a fool. If it kept the world spinning and Buffy alive in it, he was fine with anything he was asked to give up.
And for this battle, it would be his life.
…
Hours later: Under Sunnydale High, the Hellmouth.
The First smirked at Buffy, "Got to hand it to you Slayer, you had me worried there for a second. But you pulled thought in the end, you sent away your only hope at winning this battle."
Buffy's brow furrowed in confusion, "What do you mean?" She demanded. The scythe whipped around and beheaded another one of the uber-vamps. Her eyes refocused on the First, on the form of herself.
'Too freaking creepy.'
The immaterial evil incarnate smiled coldly, "That souled vampire, the dark haired one, Angelus he was called. Used to be a favorite of mine, evil to the core. I knew he was different, he had something no other being on this planet had."
"Are you going to get to the point sometime this week? I'm kinda busy here, you know, battle to the death and all." The Slayer shot back as she fought not only for her life and her fellow slayers, but the entire world as well.
Honestly, she was getting sick of the First's incessant self-importance rambling.
And it using her mouth to say them.
'Why is she/he/it talking about Angel? Does it have something to do with trying to get him to kill himself years ago? Why bring it up now? Or it it just trying to distract me so I take a sword to the back?'
"The powers sent him back to earth to kill me. They gave him the power. I knew the two of you would be able to defeat me, 'Together you are strong, alone you will die'. I wanted him to kill you, twisted his mind until it broke, drove him mad with guilt and despair…when he failed, his own life would have sufficed. Unfortunately The Power's intervened in your failure. I was worried when he showed up here, but you took care of that issue for me. Sent him packing and single-handedly won me this fight." The First mocked, eager to see the despair well in Buffy's eyes, to watch as the understanding of what she had done came to fruit, that she had royally screwed up and that it would cost her the world.
Instead. "I'm not doing too bad." Buffy countered effortlessly as she took out another uber-vamp, a quick glace at the other slayers confirmed her position. "Looks like we're winning." She added confidentially, on the outside at least.
'She's wrong, I've spent years away from Angel, I've defeated Gods without his help. Ok so maybe I died defeating a god, but I can do this. I love him, he's a powerful ally, but this isn't his fight, I can't risk him dying. Not here, not now. I made the right call…I hope.'
"Oh really?" The First smiled a cold smile, not actually a question. A nod of her borrowed blond head and the tables suddenly turned. A rush of Turok-Han spilled from the Hellmouth, flooding the new slayers.
Buffy threw herself into the fighting, moving faster and hitting harder than ever before. Every cell in her body was focused on slaying, every thought seeking an opening and taking it, dust billowed around her like a sandstorm.
'I can win this, I can'.
Suddenly she heard a scream, she turned and saw one by one, her slayers were falling.
They were losing.
'No!'
The First was there again, grinning in her face. "You'll lose. Angelus had the touch, only he could have killed me. You knew this, but you still sent him away. Their deaths, their blood is on your ha…."
A fist shot out and knocked the First to the ground, blood running from a tear in her Buffy skin lip.
"Thanks for the tip, and now you're blood's on my hands."
Buffy heard the familiar voice, her heart both leaping in joy and simultaneously screamed in frustration. "Angel! What? How?" She stammered, her heart and head spinning.
It wasn't lost on her how Angel had been able to punch the First, which by all intensive purposes, should have been impossible.
He sent her a dazzling smile, "What can I say, I needed closure."
She wanted to run up to him, demand to know why he was here, how he knew where to come, why he lied to her.
He couldn't answer her now, even if he wanted to. The First had regained its feet, and the souled vampire and the evil incarnate were circling one another.
With a feeling of dread, Buffy noticed the necklace he brought to her now hung around Angel's neck, he must have taken it from Spike.
She couldn't deal with her emotions at the moment, or Angel, there were a hundred uber-vamps spilling from the Hellmouth and that was the only place she allowed her attention to focus.
…
"You will not win this fight, I am destined to win." The First spoke as it circled him in Buffy's shape. "The Powers have no control over me. I have existed since the dawn of time, I was old when man was yet unborn, I am forever, I am immortal, I am…"
"Long winded." Angel shot with a note of bored, "Ego much?"
The First's eyes narrowed, then it lunged forward, intending to tackle the vampire. However, Angel currently had the weight advantage, the First slammed up against Angel's outstretched fist, using the Evil's momentum, he sent it hurling into the cavern's stone wall.
"Don't get up." He grinned, a dangerous smile on his lips. He was going to enjoy this.
The First shook it's head, then charged again, this time Angel wasn't prepared, he wasn't just fighting the First wearing Buffy's skin, he was virtually fighting Buffy, complete with all her slayer skills.
'Crap, didn't know it could do that.' He thought rubbing a bruise already forming on his ribs.
He dodged blows, dealt some, and took more that a few, each punch held the full strength of the Slayer herself.
After a few minutes of being driven back, he found a weakness, the First could only mimic her physical strength, but the emotional boost Buffy used was absent. Also, the Evil being lacked the memories of past slayers, a whole wealth of knowledge denied to the black-hearted being.
Knowing this he fought harder, his anger, desperation, and hope fueled him to his maximum, he started gaining ground.
"Angel! Catch!" A voice yelled over the drone of fighting slayers.
He glanced up in time to catch a sword thrown to him.
He nodded his thanks to Faith and turned back towards his enemy, twirling the blade to test it's weight.
"Give up vampire! You know you WILL die, even if you kill me. I could restore you to your former glory, you could be the Scourge of Europe again, or even the Scourge of the World. Join me, and together we can rule this planet." The First desperately offered, as it was forced back.
"Rather go back to Hell for eternity than spend one single second with you." He spat, swinging his weapon again and again in a deadly accurate arc.
"You will. I promise you that vampire." Suddenly the First gained a foothold, sending a vicious kick to Angel's head and sending him reeling back, the sword tossed from his hands in the fall.
The souled demon shook the throbbing from his head, pushing back the pain and willing his vision to clear. He looked up in time to see the First's fist slam into his face, sending a constellation of stars exploding in front of him.
...
Buffy spared a glance back as the creatures around her lulled, she watched Angel fall, saw he was struggling. Without thinking, she ran to help, leaving a cloud of dust behind her. She grabbed Angel's arm and automatically kicked at the First, they were both shocked when the kick connected with a solid thud and sent the Evil being flying.
"What the…How?" Buffy yammered, confused how she managed to touch the incorporeal being.
Angel smirked as he rose to his feet. "Because you're touching me, you can touch it. Same reason I could slash the first with a sword."
"Really? Neat. Mind if I join in? We can tag team." She asked holding out her hand and wigging her fingers.
"Guess I can't hog all the glory." He said as he twined her hand in his.
Squeezing each other's hands tightly, they stalked towards their prey.
The First's shape began to waver, different body parts from all the different shapes it had taken in the last few days began to melt together, picking and choosing from the strongest elements it could combine.
The final result was a horribly shaped mix of Adam, the Master, Glory with the base of Buffy.
Buffy's nose wrinkled, "O my God! Evil looks terrible on me! And the Master's bat nose and fruit punch mouth on my face? Eww! That's it, you're so dying now."
They rushed ahead, Angel lifting his arm and propelling her forward. She flew at the First, her feet swinging out and cracking it upside the head.
Together they were strong.
They danced, the old pattern they used to share came back in seconds; each knowing what the other was thinking, both bodies moved with the other, kicks and punches rained down on the First. Within moments, Evil lay in a bloodied pile at their feet.
"That was fun, we should do that more often." Buffy grinned at Angel as she looked down at the unconscious evil at her feet.
He sent her a weak smile, "Yeah, we should." He said out loud.
'Too bad we won't get the chance…' he kept to himself.
"I've got it from here, help Faith." Angel said to her as he squeezed her hand, he wanted to tell her goodbye, but he knew it would only distract her, and she needed all her concentration to survive this battle.
The blond looked up at him, oblivious this would be their last real conversation, "Right" She said, she turned and took a few steps then paused, turning back at Angel she smiled at him, "Thanks" She said simply, putting everything she wanted to say in that one word.
He grinned, "Always." He replied, doing the same thing.
Their moment ended as Adam's robotic arm wrapped around Angel's throat and Faith yelling "B! Need another super chick over here!"
Buffy's grip tightened on the Scythe and she dove into the action with her fellow Slayers.
…
Angel fought the First, the battle was short, but violent. Ultimate evil wasn't a pushover, but spending an eternity as an immaterial being left little room for physical prowess. Evil's strength was in its tongue, not its physical appearance. Plus the beating it took from the Slayer and the ensouled vampire drained it of much of its power. It hadn't been able to use Buffy's, or any other's fighting skills.
Angel's forearm whipped around the First's throat, catching it off balance and pulling it into a deathly tight choke-hold against his chest.
He wasn't letting go, even if it killed him.
'And it will', he thought grimly.
The First screamed in rage, punching, kicking, and twisting in a vein attempt to get free from his iron grip.
Angel wasn't immediately sure how to activate the necklace hanging around his neck, but the thoughts just came to him, The Powers suddenly filled his mind with what needed to happen.
He closed his eyes a moment, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat. He had a moment of silence for himself, and then he shot to work.
It went against every cell in his body, but this fight wouldn't be won with hate, The Powers needed to use good, they needed love.
Angel took an unneeded but determined breath, "I forgive you" he whispered into the evil being's ear, pouring out his frustrations and anger and hate, replacing them with forgiveness and filling his heart with love for the First.
Then he kissed evil full on the lips.
…
"Whoa, B. The big guy does know that ain't you right?" Faith commented as she and Buffy stared slack jawed at Angel kissing the First now back in its Buffy shell.
"I …Ahh …I…thought so…" she managed through the shock.
…
When his lips touched the First's, a spark went through him. Not the loving spark like when he kissed Buffy, no, nothing like that, but a powerful pulse shot though to his very core. It traveled from his lips, down his neck, and into the pendent around it. A brilliant light shot from the jewel, straight up threw the ceiling, the school, and into the cloudless blue sky.
...
Wesley dropped and rolled, where he had been standing not one second ago, a light exploded up from the floor and up through the school's ceiling, sending a blinding flash of sunlight into the classroom.
All the vampires within twenty feet suddenly ignited, dust erupting around the room.
"Well, that was quite timely." He panted, knowing he had been about to die when the unexpected reprieve occurred and saved his British butt.
Gunn strolled up beside him, relieved from the intimate fighting he had been involved in just moments before, "Hey no lying down on the job man. We still got us some super ugly vamps to dust." He grinned as he held a hand out to his friend.
Wes took the offered hand and allowed Gunn to pull him to his feet. "Right, let's go." He said while reloading his crossbow and heading into the hall to help the Scooby gang as they fought for their lives.
...
Anya swung her sword at the demons, heads rolling left and right. 'Bunnies.' She thought, 'Just keep picturing Bunnies.' She never saw the vamp sneaking up behind her while Andrew scurried around frantically, but she didn't need to.
It dusted as Wes send a bolt into its heart.
"Nice work, but don't forget about the ones sneaking up behind you." He informer her as he and Gunn joined in the slaughter.
...
Angel felt the light engulf him, pure unfiltered sunlight. He figured it would burn, but somehow it didn't.
'It feels warm, safe, like home.'
He closed his eyes, feeling the warmth as it surrounded him, he didn't hear the First screaming in rage and pain, he didn't hear Buffy shout his name in fear, he didn't noticed anything but the calm that filled him.
'Forgiveness.'
Ultimate Evil bellowed in agony and anger again as the light entered it, it was torn from Angel's grasp as the light flooded in; the darkness within the evil was being purified.
An immaterial being such as the First cannot be killed directly, it is essentially energy…and as physics taught us, energy cannot be created or destroyed, only converted from one form to another.
The beam of pure loving energy infiltrated the dark energy, dissipating the hate and the violence and the well…evil.
In seconds, there was nothing left of the First but a brilliant white light, it swirled in the air then funneled up the shaft of light that was blown in the ceiling and disappeared up into the clouds.
As the First vanished, many of the Turok-Han paused in their attack. Seeing their leader destroyed took them off the offence in suddenly into defense as the slayers felt the power switch.
…
Buffy tossed the Scythe to Faith in a silent transfer of power, and then ran to Angel's side.
His eyes were still closed when she reached him, his lips curved into a peaceful smile, something she had never seen before on the broody vampire.
She was tense, her fists tightened, worry flooded her. Her gut was telling her this wasn't over yet.
"Angel?" she asked, very skittish about the sunlight enveloping the essentially allergic being in front of her.
A moment later his eyes flickered open. "Buffy." he answered calmly, his whole body feeling a rush of peace like he'd never felt before, alive or dead. "I feel it" He whispered.
"What?" She asked, afraid of the answer.
"My soul. My redemption. Forgiveness." He met her eyes, she didn't like the look in them. "You should go, I don't have long before they recharge."
Buffy looked afraid and she didn't try to hide it. She stepped closer to him, "What do you mean? Charge what? It's over. The First is dead. Shut it down, we can leave together." she begged nervously, tears already forming in her eyes, she didn't know what would happen, but then again, she did.
He gave her a rare smile, but it was full of sorrow for her. "I can't. I need to end this. The Hellmouth needs to be shut, permanently."
A tear rolled down her cheek as she reached her hand tentatively into the light surrounding Angel, when it didn't burn, she continued until her hand was gently stroking his cheek. "You'll die." She whispered, her voice cracking with emotion. 'Please, not like this. I can't lose him like this. Not now. Please…not Angel...I love him….'
"I know." He whispered back, "Buffy, It's why they brought me back from Hell. This is my destiny. My redemption."
"The hell with redemption! It'll kill you!" She shot back, angry he was just going to let death claim him for the final time.
He felt a pulse rush through him, followed by pain as the process began. The drain on his soul. 'It's started'.
"I'm so proud of you, Buffy. You've become everything I ever hoped you'd be, more even. Your destiny has only just begun, I'm so grateful I was allowed to be a part of it." His smile warmed her heart, even as it was breaking.
The light suddenly flared around him, a pulse shot out, beams of light began to shoot from him, the necklace channeling the light into the Hellmouth. Vamps began to dust by the dozens as the beams of light consumed them.
...
The Slayers looked around in fear at first, then rejoiced when they realized the fight was over, they had won.
Their job was over, they had survived.
...
Spike cursed and fled, realizing if he stayed any longer he'd be toasted along with the Turok-Han he'd so recently been fighting. Normally he wasn't one to run from a fight...but he knew staying would be suicide.
...
Faith realized what was happening and began funneling the new Slayers to the exit, she felt like this wasn't over.
Nothing with Buffy or Angel ever ended subtly.
...
Buffy hardly noticed as she closed the small distance between her and Angel, the light passed harmlessly through her.
"I love you." She whispered as she stretched up to kiss him, knowing it would be their last.
As her lips brushed his, all the old feelings came rushing back. She had kept them bottled when she kissed him the previous night, but she couldn't now.
His lips felt warm, the light shinning thought his soul warming them.
He returned the kiss, the growing pain of his soul being consumed as fuel for the light melted away as her lips met his. The soothing balm of Buffy's touch making everything better...if even only for a moment.
More than anything, he knew how much he loved her.
He knew how much he'd be willing to sacrifice to keep her safe.
'It's not enough time.' She thought desperately as she felt him pulling back, and in the madness of the moment, she couldn't help but think she'd said it to him before, under equally heart wrenching conditions. Obviously it was just the stress of the situation warping her memory.
He broke the kiss, his strength failing as the light overtook him. "I'll always love you, Buffy." He said to her, his voice tight with pain and un-shed emotion.
The cavern shook violently, the Hellmouth was being purified, and the place was crumbling.
"You need to go, now!" He urged desperately, he wasn't about to watch her die, his sacrifice would mean nothing to him if she perished in the process of his redemption.
"I can't leave you here. I won't!" She shouted in determination, her voice hard pressed to work though the flood of emotions.
"You will! Go! Please, live. For me?" He begged, looking deep into her teared up hazel-green eye.
She stood rooted to the spot, unable to decide whether to stay with him until their end, or live a life of pain without him. It wasn't until Faith grabbed her hand and pulled her away that she began to run towards the exit.
'Don't die', the first rule of slaying echoed in her head, it forced her feet to move.
As she retreated, her eyes never looked back at Angel, she couldn't let that be her last image of him in her mind.
Not her leaving him behind to die.
Not him sacrificing himself as a tool for the Powers.
Plus, she knew if she looked back, she wouldn't be able to leave. She would turn back and wrap her arms around him and never let go.
Rocks and debris rained down around them as the two Slayers fled into the tunnel and up into the principle's crumbling office.
They burst though the school, dust filled the place, swirling in the sudden breeze.
Breathing heavy and straining hard, they ran outside
"Buffy! Faith!" A voice yelled from above.
A helicopter hovered above them, Buffy could see Dawn anxiously looking down at them.
Suddenly the ground beneath their feet gave way, forcing the two to jump for a rope which appeared in front of them.
Latching on to it, Buffy and Faith held each other tightly as the helicopter lifted them away from the school that was being devoured from below.
Buffy observed the scene with watery eyes, watching the light, Angel's light, spread over the area, engulfing the entire Hellmouth.
Then the pillar of light simply disappeared.
Sunnydale High vanished as it crumbled into the ground, the hole spreading like wildfire until the town in its entirety…was simply gone.
A vast empty hole left in its place.
…
Moments before:
Angel clenched his teeth in agony as his soul was burning from the powerful force cleansing the Hellmouth with its holy fire.
He'd held back as much of the power as he could until Buffy was out of sight, but he couldn't hold back anymore.
'Goodbye, Buffy.' He thought briefly before all brain activity ceased.
With a final piercing scream, the light flashed out of the necklace and flooded the vast chamber, using up the last of the fuel and leaving nothing behind of the dark haired vampire's body or soul.
...
Buffy was numb.
Her feet brushed the ground as the chopper hovered the two swinging Slayers over the solid earth just outside the boundaries of Sunnydale…well the former town that had been known as Sunnydale.
Faith dropped to the sandy soil, gently bringing Buffy with her.
Once they were free, the rope was withdrawn and the chopper circled looking for a place to land.
Faith wanted to comfort Buffy, but she honestly didn't know what to say.
It was Angel, she couldn't even begin to know what Buffy was feeling. Well, she could guess. She knew their twisted past, a chunk of it anyways. 'Best keep out of it.' She thought with a heavy heart.
It was still a sore subject between the two slayers.
She squeezed Buffy's hand, and sent her an apologetic smile. Then she moved away to leave the blond Slayer to her thoughts and mourn for her lost friend in privacy.
…
Buffy stood looking over the town of Sunnydale. A.K.A. the new Sunnydale crater.
'Gone. Everything's gone…Angel's gone.' A single tear rolled down her cheek, it was soon followed by another and another. She could feel her emotional control slipping away.
She'd felt it the moment Angel had perished...and the stab of grief had torn a hole in her heart, another gaping wound in the already damaged organ.
A hand fell upon her shoulder; she turned to see Dawn's sad blue eyes watching her.
"Buffy?" she asked, silently acknowledging her sister's pain.
Buffy slowly wrapped her arms around Dawn's waist and cried into her shoulder, her grip tightened as if she were holding on to life itself.
"Oh god Dawn, he's gone. How could he do that to me? I told him to leave…he…he had no right!" she wailed into her sister's now wet shirt.
Unable to find the words, the former Key just held her sister tightly, rubbing her back as she cried for her lost love.
…
A school bus halted to a screeching stop a few feet away, Giles operating the vehicle containing the remaining Slayers, a whimpering Andrew, Xander, a slightly scorched Spike (huddling under a blanket to protect him from the harsh reality of day), principle Wood, Willow and Kennedy.
Buffy felt a slight break in the crushing grip sorrow held on her heart seeing her friends and so many Slayers had survived the war.
But the relief was only slight in comparison to losing the only man she'd ever truly loved.
…
Xander bounded out of the bus, his eye frantically looking over at the miles wide pit they had so recently escaped from tumbling into.
"Anya!" He screamed down into the hole, his heart breaking when he realized she hadn't made it onto the bus.
A tear welled in his eye, soon followed by more as he wept for his lost love.
"You don't have to yell you know, I'm standing right here…."
Xander jumped as the familiar voice spoke from behind him. "An?" He asked, spinning around to find his should-be-wife standing behind him, a smile on her lips.
In an instant she was enveloped in his arms, his lips clinging to hers in a passionate need neither had ever felt before. All the love and hurt of their past relationship flowed out between them, resealing their bond with an unbreakable epoxy.
Past sins were forgiven, negative memories forgotten, the only thoughts in their minds turned towards a bright and happy future…together.
The kiss broke ever so slowly, the two reunited lovers unwilling to part even when breath became a desperate need.
She ran her fingers along his cheek, taking in every inch of him with her eyes; assuring herself he was in all the same pieces he'd been in the last time they'd been together. "We're not dead. I shouldn't be surprised by this, but I am…"
"Marry me." He interrupted her, his words jumping out of his mouth before his mind had even acknowledged she'd spoken.
She tilted her head at him, observing him a moment in true Anya fashion. "You already asked me that…and then left me at the alter."
Xander nodded, "I know." He admitted downcast at the ground, his emotions tight and a knot was twisting painfully in his heart. "It was a mistake Anya, I wasn't ready then and I should have told you sooner…please An, I'm 100% ready now. Trust me, when you walk down that isle again, I will be there to marry you."
"That's assuming I say yes, which I'm inclined not to." She looked around at the destruction, "Open that big brown eye of yours Xander, we just nearly died…who's to say you're remotely competent enough to make a life changing decision like that?" She took a deep breath and bared her very soul. "You hurt me Xander, you hurt me so bad…I don't think I could handle that rejection again."
"You won't." He promised immediately. "Tell me what you need to prove my sincerity, anything you want, I'll do. I'll sell my comics, my movies, games…my lunchbox collection…anything you ask, just name it, and consider it done if it means having you back in my life."
She considered this a moment, read the honestly and love shinning in his eye.
"Why now?" She asked quietly, hoping she could really trust him with her heart again.
He looked deep into her eyes, his thumb coming up to caress her cheek. "Because I thought I lost you Anya…and in that moment…I wanted to die. I thought of just walking to the edge and taking that extra step over it. I saw my life as it would be without you…and suddenly I couldn't bear to exist anymore."
"That's really quiet morbid." She responded, tears threatening to fall.
His look of hope faded from his face as his eye turned towards the ground.
"I felt the same away."
He looked up, hope blooming again.
"I love you." She spoke suddenly, her lips crushing against his in a violent need for him.
"I love you." He managed out between desperate kisses.
"Anytime you want to sneak off and have sex…" She suggested, needing to feel him inside her more than ever before.
His grin returned, readiness showing brightly on his features.
As they snuck away hand in hand he asked her, "By the way, how did you escape the collapse?"
Anya turned to her lover, her brow quirked up a little and a grin spreading over her lips, "The helicopter…duh, I followed the Brit and the Moor."
The dark hair young man seemed to notice it for the first time; it had settled a ways off in a small open area.
"Oh…right." He muttered, cheeks bright red at having forgotten Angel's team having 'crashed' their Apocalypse. "By the way An, I wouldn't use the word 'moor', it's insulting and racist...and that Gunn guy has a very scary looking ax."
"Did I ever tell you how sexy you are when you blush?" She took his hand and together they disappeared into the bushes.
…
Wesley and Gunn both scanned the remaining fighters, one in particular being absent.
"Where's Angel? Oh, is he hidin under a blanket somewhere? You'all know since he doesn't go so well in the sun." Fred asked from behind them, taking the chopper headphones off her ears. She knew those helicopter flying lesions would pay off someday.
Wesley held his gaze on Buffy's sobbing form, "I don't believe that's the case here Fred."
Gunn spotted the cute blond Wes was watching, but he didn't make the connection. "Think he got buried under all that rubble? Cus if he thinks I'm diggin his pale white ass outta all that mess, he's a lot crazier than I thought."
"Shanshu." Wesley said quietly, "it didn't mean to become human…it was literal. He lived to die."
"What? Now that's just not right!" Fred disagreed, but the look on her lover's face confirmed he wasn't making it up.
"Angel confessed to me in a private phone call before the battle began. This fight would be his last. In order for the power of the amulet to work…it needed a-a willing sacrifice. His life energy was consumed in the process." Wes explained with a tone of remorse.
"Oh, poor Angel. He was so brave, doing that knowin he would…" She couldn't finished as tears fell down her cheeks. She moved forward and buried her face in Wesley's shirt as his arms held her sobbing form against him.
Gunn didn't speak, but was using all his manly strength not to cry for the vampire…for his close and dear friend…even if he had been a crazy dead white dude with a blood habit.
…
Spike grumbled angrily from his confinement in the bus. He'd wanted to be the hero this time, but that miserable ponce had mucked it all up.
He'd been eager to prove to Buffy who loved her more, but then Angel had showed up and ruined it. Claiming the necklace would only work with him…save the world...blah blah blah.
Rubbish.
He'd had half a mind to keep it, but he could feel it was right to pass it over to the older vampire. Deep down Spike knew it had been a suicide mission, and in truth, he was thankful Angel was the one to bite the bullet.
Spike was a survivor, he wanted to live.
Plus now there was only one vampire with a soul fighting for Buffy's affections.
The bleach blond grinned, knowing it was only a matter of time before he could once again comfort Buffy, to be her shoulder to cry on...and more.
…
Giles watched with sad eyes as his Slayer wept.
He'd seen Angel and part of him knew the significance of him being present for the final battle of Sunnydale.
Despite his bitterness over Jenny's death by Angelus, Giles found no pleasure in the vampire dying...but more for Buffy's sake than Angel's.
He'd witnessed the changes in his charge over the years, knew the pure happy gleam in her eyes had been absent since the broody vampire had left her for 'her own good'. Giles had admired Angel for that strength, but also hated him for what it had done to Buffy.
Now it seemed the vampire had hurt her again, simply by dying in front of her. Yes, he'd saved them all and the world, but the cost had been Buffy's heart yet again in the process.
Because of that, the name Angel left yet more bitterness on Giles's tongue.
…
Dawn didn't know how much time had passed, a second? An hour? It didn't matter. Buffy needed her, and she wouldn't deny the one thing the strong blond deserved most…to let it all out.
The younger Summers remembered Angel, even if the memories themselves were false, she knew the love he and her sister had shared had been real. She remembered practically feeling Buffy's smile when he was around, seeing the flush of red in her cheeks and vividly remembered being shoved out of her sister's room so Buffy could be alone for smoochie-time with her boyfriend.
She'd liked Angel, he'd never treated her like just some kid, but more as a little sister. A few times he'd helped her with homework while he waited for Buffy to come home or entertained her with of stories of old.
She'd started to hate him after he left Sunnydale, she'd seen more than most people how badly his sudden departure had ruined her sister. Because of that fact, she'd never said him name in front of her, knowing it was like a sharp knife to Buffy's soul every time she'd heard it.
The younger Summers held her sister tight, encouraging all that pain to be purged.
...
Willow watched with sad green eyes, wishing there was something she could do. Some way to help her best friend through the pain. Kennedy wrapped an arm around her waist and she turned into the embrace, needing the comfort.
Tears welled in her dark green eyes, not only for Buffy, but for Angel too.
She remembered going to see him when Buffy died, she'd felt he needed to know. When he'd looked at her, seen her tears, she hadn't had to say the words. "It's Buffy." Had fallen from his lips, eyes losing all mirth.
All he'd asked was how.
She remembered the look of horror on his face when she'd told him the circumstances behind his love's death.
At first, there had been no emotions.
Blank.
Just blank.
Words came from his mouth, almost too soft to hear. "I knew it. I felt when it happened. I thought it was...it was my reflection in the water. I thought it was my own horror at seeing the demon I was within...but it was her. I felt Buffy die."
The redhead hadn't understood his words, 'his reflection?' but kept silent.
Willow watched silently as his hands began to shake. "I felt it." He'd repeated, mumbling as he moved away from her, from all of them. He'd paused, shimmering eyes not meeting hers and strain visibly keeping his face neutral, he muttered with a tight voice, "Thank you, for letting me know" and he'd retreated upstairs, a bang of his door slamming and the sounds of stuff smashing...she'd heard nothing else from him before she left.
The witch had found out from Cordelia that Angel left the hotel shortly after, vanishing for months to deal with his grief.
She turned in her lover's arms and cast another look towards her friend, wondering if the same would be true for Buffy now. If time would heal her wounds or if she'd carry there scars forever.
...
Buffy sobbed hard.
Over the years, she'd let the feeling drift down, to sink deeper within her.
Angel's death ripped them back to the surface, bringing hot pokers of agony with them.
The scar on her neck throbbed.
The link between her and her soul-mate was gone.
The whole soul, gone.
...
To Be Continued?