Who would have known?
Chapter 1 The Encounter
The last thing she remembers before she crashed was seeing her used to be worst enemy and now best friend Ino Yamanaka talking to this extremely hot emo guy that asked for her msn on some website that she can't remember.
"Holy crap. What time did we fall asleep last night Ino?" Temari asked as she, not violently but not softly, shook her friend awake. The Sand Kunoichi had only been in the Village Hidden in the Leaves for three days now. Most of her free time was spent with Ino. It would seem that ever since the arrival of Temari the two have been inseperable. But when the third memberof the group (TenTen) is there that's when things start to get really out of control...in other words...more trouble.
''I don't know. You were supposed to feed the cat.'' Said Ino as she slowly awoke.
''What? What the hell does feeding a cat have to do with it?'' Asked the confused kunoichi. ''Wait. I think I know what you're talking about...Never mind. I got no clue''
''Oh. woops. I had a dream that we had to go on a mission to feed a damn fish, and stupid Billboard brow went and blamed the missing cat food on me. So I told her off and...''Ino continued going on about how stupid Sakura was as she got up and was rubbing the sleep off of her eyes.
''Right. ok then...What Does Cat food have To Do With A Stupid Fish?''
''I have no clue...but it wasn't my fault that the cat food was gone''
''Oh well''...''I'm hungry...We should go out and get breakfast?...lunch?...super?...food'' The older blond suggested
''Yeah...Let's go'' Said Ino as both her and Temari had been looking with some kind of emotion in different randome directions for a few seconds with reasons unknown...minutes..(like in movies when one of the characters looks at a spot and just stares at it while thinking about something)...and then returned their gazes toward each other and laughed.
Then they looked at their bare wrists and looked at each once again and asked at the same time.
''What time is it?'' They each looked quizzically at the other and started to wonder to themselves, Where did my watch go?
''We should probably get going now.''
''Yeah. Probably.'' They both got up only to find that they were dressed in all black. Black shirts, black pants, black shoes, black hats, and black gloves that just screamed I'm gonna murder you! The team of two looked at each other with questioning looks and shrugged it off knowing full well that they probably did something stupid.
''I wonder what we did last night'' Said Temari as she scratched her head.
''Or who! hahaha!'' With that the two laughed yet again then stopped and realized that could've happened...then shrugged it off..as Ino continued what she was going to say...''I don't know. But I don't really care.'' With that she headed for the kitchen with Temari not far behind her.
''Ha ha. I was gonna say we look like ninjas...But we are ninjas!''
''Pretty damn good ninjas at that!''
After the pair had had their food they checked the time and it was now going on to 5:00 p.m and they were unsure of what they should do.
''So what do you wanna do?''
''I don't really know. What do YOU wanna do?''
''Hmm. What do I wanna do? Oh I know! We should go walk around. Hunt some action. Find some trouble. Haha!'' Suggested Temari in half of a joking way.
''Well. That does sound good. But we all know that we don't look for trouble...It finds us!''
With that the two blondes left for town. After about half an hour of disturbing the peace of the Village they were confronted by Sakura who seemed to not want to even go near the troublesome pair of friends.
''Oh hey Billboard Brow! What do you want?'' Said an actually curious Ino.
''Well Ino Pig! If you must know I came here to see Temari.'' After Sakura said that Temari had a look on her face that clearly said, Oh great! what do you want?
''Lady Tsunade is looking for you Temari. She told me to tell you to go and see her at the Hokage Tower as soon as you get the message.'' Sakura Told Temari.
''Do you know what she wants?''
''No. But she said it was important.''
Annoyed at how little information Sakura had on the mysterious and sudden request frrom the Hokage Temari left with a. ''Whatever. Ino you coming with me?'' Temari asked not even glancing at Sakura for she knew things would get pretty ugly if she caught Sakura glaring at Ino for more than 30 seconds. Ino and Sakura always say that they are really good friends, but that's all an act. They have to keep their rep and make everyone think they aren't TOTAL bitches. Temari on the other hand convinced Ino that reputation means just about nothing. unless of course your rep was that of an Akatsuki member, to which Temari absolutely admired and hated.
''Yeah I'll go Temari. See you later Billboard Brow!''
''You better watch it Ino Pig!'' When Sakura said her little threat both Ino and Temari laughed so hard that their stomachs started to hurt.
Walking through the village ignoring the scared looks on passing peoples faces as they were a bit cautious around the two kunoichi and thankful that a certain brunette wasn't with them at the moment... At the moment.
When they arrived at the Hokage Tower they knocked on Tsunade's office door and entered after hearing a woman's voice say ''Come In!''
''You wanted to see me Lady Tsunade?'' Asked Temari in a respectful and responsible voice.
''Ah yes. Seeing as how the only ninja in the village are genin, and all the chuunins are taking care of those genin. I need you to go and check something out for me. The thing is that there have been reports of a group of strange beings not to far outside the village gates. They seem to be, messing around with guards on duty. I know your not even from this village but do you mind going and checking it out?''
''No, not at all. Would Ino be aloud to accompany me though?'' Ino just smiled as the Hokage glanced at the two of them with question in her eyes.
''No. I suppose it would be alright. Just as long as you two stay out of trouble.''
''We'll try'' Joked Ino. But after seeing the look her Hokage gave her she quickly said. ''Sorry.'' Temari just smiled and bowed to the Hokage and left the room with Ino trying not to laugh at what had just happened, Ino doing the same.
On the way to their destination, all of a sudden, out of just about nowhere, two muffins were thrown at them, going straight for their for the two they were ninjas and caught the muffins just as they were about to hit them. Shortly after they heard laughter...a Very Familiar laugh indeed...(You know how people tap their fingers together and look like they're praying with a very mischeivous smile on their face?...well picture that)
''Very funny TenTen!'' A girl with brown hair put in two buns appeared from behind a bush laughing at her partners in crime.
''Jeez. Psycho much? Trying to kill us with your...Japanese Fighting Muffins I see!'' Said Ino as she threw a muffin at a still laughing TenTen.
''Yes as a matter of fact I am. What are you guys doing over here anyway?'' said/asked TenTen as she was hit in the face with a muffin.''Hey!''
''We are on our way to the gates. Tsunade asked me to check something out. You wanna come?'' asked Temari as she too got hit with a 'Japanese Fighting Muffin'
''Why should she come? she tried to murder us!'' said a joking Ino as she was hit with two muffins.
''haha!..Well if I really had tried I would've succeeded!''
Temari decided to end the muffin war. ''Hey! Do you know what we did last night?''
''Not really...but for some reason I woke up in all black!'' Stated a rather confused TenTen."why?..Did we do something stupid?''
''I don't know... I think so..haha but me and Temari woke up in all black too''
After laughing Temari asked again. ''So are you coming with us?''
''Sure. Why not?''
As they walked through the town area they passed Naruto's house and heard a Crash! followed by some yelling and went to check what was going on.
''Shikamaru? Dude what the hell! Why are you in my bed and dressed like that?...Are you gay?...am I gay?'' Asked a very confused Naruto as he yelled at the guy who was lying next to him.
''Man this is so troublesome! can you stop yelling? It's bad enough I was woken up but No one is gay here!...I hope...There is only one explanation to this...''
The girls looked at each other and knew just what it was that they did last night and started laughing almost, if not harder as they laughed at Sakura.
''What is it then? cause I'd like to know why you're in my bed, in a dress and why you have a ton of make-up on''
''you mean you haven't already figured it out?...idiot...It was Ino, Temari, and probably TenTen too'' Said Shikamaru as he was walking out of Naruto's house.
''Oh...well I hope you can get that stuff off...'' Said Naruto as he was laughing at Shikamaru's appearance.
When the girls stopped laughing the door to Naruto's house opened and Shikamaru came walking out in a pink frilly Dress with a bonnit and heavy pink eye shadow and blush, with very very hot pink lipstick on. They automatically burst out in laughter.. again. Thus earning them a glare from the Lazy Ninja.
''You guys suck...you know that?''
''aaw...Don't be like that Princess! It was only a joke!'' Yelled Temari as he walked away.. earning them a few glances by inoccent bystanders...or were they innocent?...DUH DUH DUH!
After about 15 minutes of walking past small shops or houses that contained small families and small children pretending they're already ninja they finally arrived at the Village gates and went to check a few killometers outside of the border for the suspicious beings.
''Man this is boring...There's nothing even here'' Stated a very very bored Ino.
''I know. But we have to keep looking. I'm pretty sure Tsunade would be sure of something like this.'' Temari said to the impatient younger kunoichi.
''You could either be here or somewhere else..that is probably more boring than this'' TenTen pointed out as Ino just stuck her tongue out.
''Well...Fine Then!...gosh...spazz''
''Hey. What's that?'' asked Temari as she pointed to what looked like 5 or maybe 6 figures of people.
''I don't know. Looks like people'' Said TenTen
''Should we go check it out?'' asked Ino
Without another word the three cautiously moved closer to the mysterious figures.
When they got close enough to know that they were actually people Temari yelled out ''Who are you and what do you want?''
''That does not concern you.. now run along before some unneccessary things happen'' Said a low definately male voice. The three kunoichi couldn't help but think that these people seemed oddly familiar...and slightly full of themselves...If only they could remember where they remembered them from...
''Hahaha...Is that a threat?'' Asked an amused and mocking TenTen.
''Would you like to find out?..How old are you anyway? 12?'' Asked another different, male voice.
''Another threat?..oh and you tried to make fun too...Well you guys aren't very nice now are you?...''
They couldn't help it they just had to be sarcastic...These people just seemed like they could use some very mean name calling...although there was no real name calling...well maybe mentally...but none were announced...I think...no gaurauntee...or money back...all you have to do is pay shipping and handling...order online now!
Ending me going on with stupid sales quote thingys... A few feet away from the girls were definitely 6 males...well they were unsure about one of them...but they could make out their appearances...and were quite shocked...however Temari had her pride on the line and didn't show how shocked she was at what she saw.
There standing maybe 7-9 feet away from them were 6 Akatsuki members. The girls could tell which members they were too.
There was the silver haired, violet eyed immortal named Hidan who looked a few years older than Temari
Sasuke's older brother Itachi Uchiha who was rather attractive and also didn't look much older than Temari
Akasuno No Sasori (Sasori of the Red Sands) who didn't look all that old but was.
kisame Hoshigaki who looked kind of like a shark and was around the same age as Saori
Kakuzu who looked kinda weird.
And Deidara looked Temari's age as well.
Well just about all of these guys were hott! Even Kisame and Kakuzu were attractive in some weird way, and the three girls couldn't help but be sexually attracted to them.
"It would seem we are dealing with 3 kunoichi...should we be scared?...or should we be laughing?" Kisame asked as he mocked the girls.
"3 very hott kunoichi" Hidan just had to say.
"Assholes.. We're not afraid of you! Even if you are part of The Akatsuki!" Said a rather pissed off Temari.
"Speak for yourself...ish...well they aren't as scary as I thought they'd be." Ino decided to point out. TenTen nodding in agreement.
"ooh.. Fiesty!..I like it! How about we forget about these people and go have a party..just the two of us." Suggested an amused Hidan
"You'd like that wouldn't you?" Temari said in a very sudductive way. So sudductive in fact that all of the Akatsuki members present stared in awe as she approached Hidan. Of course she was curious just how good they were. Whether or not they'd be able to focus and not get distracted easily...Or maybe she just felt like giving this asshole a taste of his own medicine.
Temari was just about right in front of him, she circled him while dragging her hand around his body. "What would we do...at this party?" saying this earned her questioning looks from her friends and enemies. Hidan being quite the moron at the moment fell for it.
"Well babe I think you know what we'd do" Said Hidan with a grin on his face. Temari had stopped in front of him and now had her hands on his bare, toned, chest as he looked down at her, she wasn't much shorter than him though.
Just as Hidan was about to plant one on Temari she punched him hard in the gut making him lean forward while holding his stomach. then again in the face.
"What the fuck!.. Damn bitch. What's your problem?" Hidan said as he was tring to catch his breath.
"You're an idiot!..You let your guard down." Said Temari as she walked back to where a still confused Ino and TenTen were.
"Dude. You just got owned." Said a rather amused Kisame. With that all of the Akatsuki members either laughed or smirked.
"Shut up! It's not my fault I believed her! How could anyone resist me?" Hidan said in a very full of himself kind of way.
"Haha! Riiiiggght! Because your sooooo sexy." TenTen said in a mocking way.
"You don't even know how right you are."
"Someone's a little full of himself." Ino said.
"Anyways...Just leave us alone and we won't be forced to make you." Kakuzu said.
"Are you kidding me? I already told you, none of you scare us. No matter how strong you are." Said a now very angry Temari.
"You just made a big mistake." Sasori said.
"Oh yeah? Well you shouldn't underestimate us that quickly" TenTen replied."You don't even know what we can do"
"Someone sounds awfully confident."
Today was almost like any other day off at the akatsuki hide out. Only the black haired Uchiha knew that something was going to happen. He just didn't know what it might be. He only noticed that he was deep in thought when he heard a bang on his door and his name being called by a voice that he recognized and knew belonged to the annoying and ever so mature Hidan.
''Eh yo! Itachi! You awake? Ah who gives a shit? I'm coming in!'' The door to his room swung open and displayed the violet eyed, silver haired, immortal asshole. ''Did you just wake up? Damn lazy ass, it's 1 in the freaking afternoon!''
''For your information I am not lazy you douche bag! I was up all night, if y'know what I mean''. Both were grinning like idiots until Hidan broke the silence.
Both grins were wiped off their faces when Hidan realized something. ''Yeah right. As if you'd have time you fuckin liar.''
''No shit. I mean I am an S-Class criminal who is part of an assciation where you have to work a lot. Of course I would spend my time off, which by the way I don't get enough of, going out and getting laid.'' stated a rather annoyed Itachi. Moron...Usually Itachi wasn't all that social...even with his comrades..but suddenly he had the urge to speak.
Hidan looked impatiently at the Uchiha.''That's what I would do. Anyway, the rest of us are going to go on a trip for this break. Y'know? do something, or someone, plus Leader-sama needs us to pick up this new guy. So you wanna come?''
After weighing his options of either staying in the hide out and being bored through out their small break or going on a vacation type thing Itachi replied with a.''Sure. Nothin better to do.''
''Ok mister-S-Class-criminal, get ready and I'll tell the others that you're coming too.''
''Yeah yeah, just get out fag so I can get ready. Unless you wanna see me strip?''
''Whatever. I am NOT attracted to men unlike a certain blonde haired artist.''
Itachi rolled his eyes in disbelief at that statement. But heard shortly after that from a rather offended Deidara.
''I'm not gay you ass hole!''
''Yeah right Tinkerbell. I'll have a hard time believing that even when you stop throwing yourself at Sasori!''
''I don't throw myself at him! He is like my freaking brother!"
"Incest!"
Itachi closed the door in order to avoid hearing the two of them go on with their rather pointless argument and got ready. A few minutes later he was finished after packing just about all his weapons, just in case, an extra cloak and some clothes, and a map, just to be safe and some other things. He opened the door only to hear something he thought was kind of...random? disturbing?
"I bet your mother is the only woman you'd have a chance at doing!"
Ignoring them he headed for the kitchen for his brunch. In the kitchen Itachi found Kisame, Kakuzu, and Sasori. Itachi grabbed a bowl, the Lucky Charms, a spoon, and two pieces of toast.
"So who's all going on this vacation?" asked Itachi with a spoon full of cereal half way to his mouth..
"Everyone except the leader, Konan and Zetsu." Said Kakuzu while reading a news paper.
"I hate it when the two of them argue. Especially when it makes me sound gay." Sasori said with both annoyance and anger clearly in his voice.
"So when are we leaving?"
"Whenever those fruitcakes are done baking" Said Kisame while laughing at the reactions of Deidara and Hidan.
"I'm not gay!" Said the both of them in unison. Then they were quiet.
"Alright. Let's get going. Especially if we're gonna atleast try and get far by night fall." Said Kakuzu.
With that the members of the criminal assosiation were heading off on their semi-unknown journey.
After a few hours of travelling Hidan decided to break the silence "So where the hell are we going anyway?"
Kakuzu shrugged "I think Konoha is where this kid is supposed to be meeting us"
"It looks like we're near our destination then" Itachi decided to point out.
"Hey look who's that, un?" Asked Deidara as he pointed to a figure that seemed to be from The Leaf Village.
"Probably some on duty guard" Suggested Kakuzu.
"We should go freak him out a bit" Said Hidan with a grin on his face.
"That would just be a waste of time" Said an impatient Sasori "and Where ARE we going?"
"We should go see if there is anything interesting in Konoha, yeah" Deidara said.
By now nobody really cared.. they were tired and very very bored...So they went..but decided to mess around with some guards first..
"Man this is so boring!" Complained one of the guards."Why did we get stuck with patrol duty?"
"I have no clue. But I hate it. Good thing Lady Tsunade is a babe." The other pointed out
These people weren't all that great shinobi. They were at about maybe chunin level. The other was about to make a rather rude comment about some of her...features...but was interupted when he thought he saw something and instead said "Hey. What was that?..Did you see that?"
"What?. What'd you see man?" Asked the second guard.
"I...I'm not...sure...it seemed to be going fast...if it was anything at all..." The first said.
"Oh. maybe you're just seeing things" The other guard suggested.
"Maybe...We should keep our guards up better just in case though"
"Yeah"
Not long after the guards heard a twig snap in the forest and the first guard said he was gonna go check it out...so he did...After looking around the area where they had just heard the noise for a few minutes the guard decided to go back to his position. What he found there wasn't how it was when he left..but instead his fellow guard was hanging from a tree branch by his underwear. They were pink and had a picture of a...Dancing cellery?...weird...
"Dude...what is up with your underwear?" Asked the first guard in a weirded out voice.
"Can you just get me down and leave my underwear out of it?" Asked the annoyed guard hanging by his underwear.
"fine then..wait!...You're a freaking ninja! Do it your-damn-self!" Said the first guard.
"uugh!..man your lazy" Said the dancing cellery guard as he was getting out of the tree.
Just as the first guard was about to carry on with watching the gates something was thrown at him...it was a small paper bomb..The only reaction he had was to throw it and run...luckily he got far enough but unluckily for him he happened to walk into the trap that was so perfectly layed out by the immortal asshole himself...
First the guy had like 5 kunai thrown at him, then more paper bombs were by him, they exploded at his feet and made it look like he was dancing in a weird near death kinda way...if that's possible...but then the weirdest thing that happened was that he walked in to a pit that was filled with...hello kitty dolls?...It was actually quite terrifying...they were like Chuckie..only hello kitty...
As all of the Akatsuki members burst out laughing evily...yeah they can laugh on their free time...
Between his laughs Hidan managed to say "And you call yourself a ninja!"
"Okay. Now that that's out of the way...What do we do now?" Itachi asked as he got bored...again.
"I have no clue. Wait for the person to show up?"
At this all of the Akatsuki members just stood there and took their turns shrugging. They shrugged for about five minutes before they were rudely interrupted.
"Who are you and what do you want?" a pretty confident female voice said from a distance away.