(a/n): Inui, Tezuka, and Fuji are all first years. Frosh. Beware: Inui-romance.

Inui watched emotionlessly as girl after girl approached Tezuka and Fuji, clutching love letters and holding their hearts out. Well, where were his love letters and female hearts?

I guess Inui wasn't really being emotionless, because behind those opaque glasses, his eyes were scrunched up in angry, angry squints. Even though girls knew something was going on between Tezuka and Fuji, they still stuffed their school lockers, gym lockers, and tennis lockers with marriage proposals.

I mean, their fanbase was already 83 percent larger than his! And after they had made regulars, it had gone up to 97 percent! Well, he, Inui Sadaharu-sama, had made regulars too! And his fanbase had only gone up by two percent.

Girls were just illogical.

And if something was illogical, he'd have to understand it. And to understand it, he'd have to resort to…

"Meiko-san, class 1-C…Age: 12…Enjoys reading, dancing, and painting…Lives on 178 XX Street…Likes going to parks on dates…" Inui scribbled into his trusty sidekick, Notebook. "Best method of approach: corner after school and demand for a date. Ii data."

That afternoon, as the first years emptied their classrooms, Inui walked up to said Meiko-san and threw his arms up on either side of her, cornering her, so to speak.

"I-Inui-san! What are you doing?" She stuttered, eyes wide.

"I am demanding you for a date, Meiko-san." Inui replied robotically.

She was a little scared. "Erm--"

Inui continued, "Yes, you will accompany me to XX Park, where we will hold hands and frolic and then I will buy you a banana split from the ice cream parlor there."

Meiko's eyes lit up. "That's my favorite park! And I used to always get banana splits from that parlor when I was little!"

I know. Inui pet his Notebook. What would he do without it?

"Yeah, I'll go with you! How about meeting me at the park entrance, this Saturday morning, around ten?" She asked, happily.

"Yes." Inui added, "See you there, apple-of-my-eye." And he walked away mechanically, already calculating how fashionably late he'd arrive.

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He arrived 44 minutes "fashionably" late. Because 44 is just a cool number, making him, Inui-sama, cool. But apparently, Meiko-san did not appreciate 44 because all she did was glare at him the entire time. And she refused to hold his hand and frolic. So he frolicked by himself.

As he paid for her small cup of vanilla ice cream (he couldn't afford the banana split), she suddenly cried out, "Ah! It's Mina-san! Hi!"

At this, Inui turned around and automatically read off: "Mina-san, class 1-A. Age 12. Enjoys skating, hiking, and running. Lives on 34 XX Avenue…"

Both girls stopped talking and widened their eyes. They each ran up to Inui and smacked him smartly across the face, screaming, "STALKER!!" They ran away, leaving Inui in a lonely and bit awkward situation.

A tumbleweed rolled by.

What did he do wrong? Inui stood there, scratching his arm uncharacteristically. He was just collecting data for his back-up girlfriends…

"Girls are illogical!" Inui declared yet again, lifting his index finger to the sky.

The surrounding audience rolled their eyes.

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It wasn't until his second year and acquaintance with a certain snake fellow did he realize with a shock what went wrong.

"I'm gay! Ii data."

(a/n): I'm sorry for offending anyone. I was bored and Inui was just there, so fanfic-less. So, giggle, I decided to give him one. Don't hurt me :D