AN: hey guys! Hookem here with a special announcement. I'M GETTING FUCKING SICK OF THE SUES! GRAAAAGH! THEY CLOG UP MY FUCKING FORUM WITH THEIR SAPPY BACKSTORIES, AND DROWN OUT ALL OF THE NORMAL CHARACTERS WITH THEIR OVERLY HEROIC DEEDS, AND I'M GETTING SO FUCKING SICK OF IT ALL!

Well, you know the old saying: If you can't beat them, join them! Here's a story featuring my "Sue", Megafuckingawesomepants!

One day, Rouge was walking through the forest, hunting for gems, when she stumbled upon Eggman and his latest invention. It shot a claw out and grabbed her around the waist.

"EEEEEEEIK! I'm so fucking screwed, despite the fact that I'm one of the best fighters in the Sonic Universe!" she screamed in terror.

"Let her go." A mysterious voice said. Eggman whirled around and caught sight of a shadowed figure, despite the fact that it was broad daylight. It had glowing red eyes, and appeared to be wearing a trench coat. It raised a hand, and suddenly Eggman's machine began trembling. Then, it exploded into dust.

"We'll meet again, Megafuckingawesomepants!" Eggman cackled maniacally before running away.

"Who are you?" Rouge asked timidly. The figure stepped out of the shadows and revealed (surprise, surprise!) a hedgehog who happened to look exactly like Shadow, but with brown fur and green stripes instead of red and black.

"I am…" the hedgehog said, pausing for suspense. "Megafuckingawesomepants the Re-color!- I mean!- the hedgehog!"

Rouge smiled. "Well, thanks for saving me, I guess I'll be on my way now." She said and turned to leave.

"WAIT!" the hedgehog shouted, grabbing her shoulder.

"What?" Rouge asked in annoyance.

"Would you like to stay at my place for the night?"

"Um, no…?" Rouge replied, freaked the fuck out. "My house is only a few miles away."

"Please?" Megafuckingawesomepants asked desperately. "I need someone to cry about losing my mom and dad at the age of seven to!"

"How old are you now?"

"Twenty one!"

"Pussy."

"Huh?"

"I SAID YOU'RE A PUSSY!" Rouge yelled at him and shoved off his hand. She began walking away. "You're twenty one years old for fuck's sake! Grow some balls and stop blubbering about something that happened fourteen years ago!"

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE YOUR PARENTS BRUTALLY MURDERED AND COMING HOME TO FIND THEM DEAD!" Megafuckingawesomepants roared. Rouge rolled her eyes.

"Oh my, you lost your parents! That's too bad! You know, when there's people in the world who sicken themselves just by looking in the mirror every morning, people who've never HAD parents, and people with terminal diseases who wish they could've done more with their lives before they died! But YOU lost your parents! What a catastrophe!" Rouge said sarcastically. Mega- you know what? Let's just call him "M" for short!

M started crying like a little bitch. "But… but… what about my massive killing spree? I was severely traumatized by that!"

"Deal with it." Rouge said with a shrug and flew off back to her house, leaving M still crying like a girl in the dirt.

"But, what about my power to destroy planets with a snap of my finger?" he whimpered…

AN: AAARGH! I NEEDED THAT OFF MY CHEST! SUES CAN GO BURN IN HELL! GRAAAGH!

Read and review if you want to, but I could care less if you did. I just need this out there so that people can see the annoyance of sues and stus.