A/N: I'm thinking of writing for some new fandoms. This is one of my favourite pairings in Bleach - Byakuya x Ichigo. AU! Byakuya did not manage to stop Gin's Shinsou from piercing Rukia.
Trying
Byakuya laid there, shivering. But he was content. It was nice…and warm. And he felt rather lethargic. The aftermath of sex always got to him this way. But still, he was content.
He shifted and got up. Byakuya tensed. He began to rummage around in the dark, looking for his clothes. He knew where the jeans were, but he didn't want to make a sound. Silently, Byakuya watched his…lover's actions.
"Ah, there it is," fell from the lips that he both loved and hated so much.
Byakuya loved it when it was whispering softly to him, ghosting over his flesh, or even better – kissing him. He hated it when it teased him. Or even worse – moaned the name of his sister.
His god damned sister. Byakuya wished for Aizen's death. If Aizen hadn't wanted the Hougyoku so badly, then Rukia would still be alive. No, if he hadn't been so slow…then he could have saved Rukia himself.
He hated how important his adoptive sister was to him. It wasn't fair. It's as if he's not even trying to forget about her. He didn't want to be a replacement for her.
Pain filled the slate gray eyes and he filtered it away. Byakuya knew he was being foolish. He never should have even allowed this affair. But he couldn't help it. And the feeling of his reiatsu dancing across his skin when they made love, it was wondrous.
Why did he fall in love with him? He vowed never to love another after Hisana's death…so why did this…little boy affect him so much? Yes, boy still in his eyes. He's barely lived a sliver of Byakuya's own life. How had he fallen in love with him? He was disrespectful, rude, brash, loud, and idiotic…so why did Byakuya feel his heartstrings snap everytime he left? Why did he feel so broken when he had gently carried the body of his sister away from the Soukyouku Hill?
A soft kiss landed on the crown of his head. Byakuya looked up, surprised. He shot him a rueful smile. And without saying anything, he leaves. But Byakuya understands fully and smiles softly.
He is trying. This thought makes everything better.
"Ichigo…" he breathes to the darkness of his room, the smile fading as the reality of the world sink in.
They would never be together…no matter what.
A/N: I know, I'm annoying right? However, I was wondering if anyone thought that I should continue on with this story or leave it as it is. Hey, you never know, I could change the rating to M like my others.
BTW, for those who care, Rukia's body was still intact after she died.