Little Ice in Hetaland
I do not own Hetalia :)
~.~
Little Iceland lived with his family in a little cottage on top of a grazing hill. There was Papa Sweden, Mama Finn, Brother Norway and the idiot Denmark. One day when he was outside under a big oak tree in the middle of autumn, brother Norway was reading him a book about a big bad troll.
After Brother Norway read the story, Little Iceland couldn't help but to feel sleepy. He was just too comfortable in his brother's lap and the soft cool air was perfect for napping. Plus it was like he was read a bedtime story. So Brother Norway let him nap on his lap and thought he would join his little brother for a short slumber.
Of course, little Iceland being just as imaginative as his brother, he had a small dream, but to him, it seemed as clear as the bright sky he lived under.
Little Iceland woke up to the sound of a small pitter patter of feet and looked around for his brother, his brother was nowhere to be seen but in a small distance he saw a puffin scurrying in a certain direction. Little Iceland noticed that the puffin was wearing a small black hat and a red bow. It was also holding a small pocket watch.
Surprised, he walked closer to the puffin and then fell on his bum when he heard the puffin speak.
"Oh no! I'm late! I'm late! I'm late! The king will have my head, I cannot be late!" Little Iceland stared in awe and walked after it. The puffin shuffled through the short grass and eventually came to a nest made on the bottom of a small boulder. The puffin suddenly disappeared after jumping off the boulder which left little Iceland confused. He leaned from the side of the boulder and being the clumsy kid he was, he tripped on some moss.
Poor little Iceland fell into the nest but instead of hurting his bum he kept falling and falling and falling. Little Iceland began gaping at the strange things he saw while falling down; dancing tea cups, umbrellas and puppets. He finally landed on what he presumed was the floor and looked around.
He gulped. It was a fairly dark room, the only light was from a small light bulb lighting a round wooden table. Little Iceland moved towards the table and looked at the small treats placed neatly. They were various types of pastries, cookies, cupcakes, brownies and small donuts. Hungry, he reached for a cookie which had the words 'Eat me'. He munched on the sweet sugary goodness but he didn't get to finish the first bite.
Little Iceland started to become even littler as he decreased in size. He dropped the cookie after it became too big for him and he started tearing up. The room was much scarier now and he looked around with his small violet eyes full of big tears. He found a tiny door after looking around that was just his height and opened it. The wooden door opened with a creek but behind it lay a beautiful landscape that little Iceland had never seen before.
Golden trees adorned with strange blob decorations, the grass was like home but it was much more lush and even. There were colourful flowers everywhere big, small, thin, tall. So many bright colors that the little nation almost fell on his bottom, again. He was disturbed from his observations by voices and he could not seem to find the source of.
"Oi little boy! Are you lost?"
"Aww he looks so cute~"
"He would grow up to be a real beauty I'm sure ohohohon."
"Stop hitting on the kid Francis."
"I'm not like Toni!"
"Hey!"
Little Iceland whipped his head back and forth but could not see the people who were arguing over him and he wasn't sure that he wanted to.
"Here boy, right in front of you." the first voice called, followed by the creepiest laugh or whatever 'ohonhonhon' was. Little Iceland looked straight ahead and his eyes widened with slight fear and curiosity. There was a huge red bud that appeared in front of him and when the flower bud opened, he saw three medium sized people who would only reach up to his knee.
The three people had very strange appearances, especially the one with brown curly hair. Little Iceland had never seen people with the chocolate colour hair and deeply tanned skin. Either way, they had small thin transparent wings behind them that sparked Iceland's interest.
"Are you fairies?" He asked. The silver haired man answered.
"Damn straight we are, we're the awesome flower fairies!"
"What's your name cutie~?" The blonde asked, blowing a small kiss.
Little Iceland shuddered.
"My n-name is Iceland." he timidly replied. All three cooed at the cuteness, making him more scared than ever.
"I need to find my brother, so if you'll excuse me." he hastily walked around what he presumed was their home and eased straight into the forest. Although the forest didn't have an impressive scenery, the trees and plants seemed a lot more realistic than the ones in the meadow. Little Iceland walked deeper and deeper into the forest but it seemed like he was walking in circles.
The tears started to resurface as he heard a loud crow caw. As he walked further into the forest, he saw two teenage boys arguing in front of a tree log. The two teens had strange skin, similar to chocolate haired fairy in the bud.
"Excuse me?" He called out in a small voice, both afraid and relieved at the presence of other people.
"What the fuck is this brat doing here?" The one with the darker hair asked, glaring intently at Little Iceland, making the poor boy stiffen up in fear. He whimpered.
"Romano! You have to be nice to the bambino, look you scared him~" The lighter haired boy cooed, moving closer to console the boy, but Little Iceland didn't need his consoling.
"G-go away!" The tiny nation managed to squeak out as he took a step back, his tears streaming down his face. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to go back home, to Brother Norway and the others. Little Iceland sniffed. This place was scary.
"Don't be scared! What's your name?" The hazel eyed one asked. He had a soft welcoming smile, which made Iceland calm down. Just a little though.
"I-Iceland."
"Iceland? What a retarded name." The darker haired one scoffed, folding his arms.
Little Iceland didn't know what retard meant but it didn't sound like a compliment.
"At least I'm not named after a cheese!" The little nation retorted bravely, smiling a little when the teen's face flushed red in anger. However, his smile faded after the teen started to walk towards him.
"You little braattt." Romano angrily stomped to the child, ignoring the protests from his brother.
Little Iceland took this as a cue to run away, using his small petite legs, he ran in the other direction as fast as possible. He heard shouts behind him but ignored them and ventured deeper in the forest. The little boy panted after he deemed he was far away from the strange twins and looked around to find his bearings. It looked like he ran to the darker and lusher part of the forest.
He whimpered but continued walking in the darkness. There was a sudden smoke that engulfed him. Little Iceland coughed, there was a strong scent of marijuana and tobacco. He unwillingly followed the smell and later came across a large leaf. In the center of the leaf sat a small man, his upper body was human but the lower half seemed to belong to a caterpillar, or a centipede. He had blonde hair that was styled very similar to the idiot Denmark's hair. Little Iceland walked towards the strange creature in curiosity.
"What are you?" He asked, when he got close enough. A puff of smoke was puffed his way.
"The question is, what are you?" He puffed the words out like smoke, and right into the poor child's face. He stressed the vowel sounds and continued smoking, ignoring Little Iceland's coughs.
"I'm a nation." He answered. The man centipede raised a brow. He puffed another smoke Little Iceland's way. The poor little nation continued coughing.
"Can you stop smoking?" He asked. The little boy was getting annoyed at the centipede's indifference. The centipede man seemed to pay no attention to the boy, as he continued smoking away. Little Iceland huffed in annoyance and put his hands on his hips, he was about to walk away when the man(?) spoke once more.
"Look here, nation." The half man breathed out, not listening to the small nation's protests. Still stressing the vowels.
"You don't belong here, go back to where you came from."
Little Iceland clenched his little fists in small anger.
"That's what I'm trying to do! If someone could just help me!"
The creature yet once again raised an eyebrow. He blew another puff of smoke in Little Iceland's way, much to the young nation's dismay. He then pointed his pipe towards his left. A magical walkway appeared through the trees, surprising the little nation.
"Go, shoo." The man said again, with the 'o's stretched slightly. Before he could blow another puff of smoke in the poor boy's face, Little Iceland trotted onwards on the pathway.
It didn't take long for him to enter a clearing. There was a large dining table with tea pots and tea cups. There were plates full of pastries from cakes to candy. Little Iceland's mouth watered and his stomach grumbled. On the end of the table, he saw a man with a large hat sipping tea. Next to him was a girl who looked slightly older than him with rabbit ears. She too was sipping tea.
"Excuse me," Little Iceland tried to gain their attention.
The man looked up from his tea and his face lit up.
"Could I have some food please?"
"Oh a guest, a guest da-ze!" he exclaimed, ignoring Little Iceland.
"Look up Lin! We have a guest! Someone wake up Kiku!" Then he paused and laughed hysterically.
"We don't have anyone else left to wake him!" He continued to laugh until he came to a small stop, small tears welled up in his eyes as he crouched down to Little Iceland's level. The poor boy's violet eyes were wider than they had ever been as he stood baffled. The man put his hands on Little Iceland's shoulders.
"The three of us have been very lonely here."
"O-ok." Was all Little Iceland could reply as the man started crying.
Then, Lin or whatever her name was, shouted from the other end of the table.
"Yong Soo, the guest tea is ready!"
"Oh! It's marvelious!" The mad hatter sprung from his crying and spun to grab the tea from his companion's hands.
"Come, come sit little boy! We have plenty of food and drinks!"
Little Iceland was still crept out but the man had mentioned food. He followed the man and sat on a chair next to the hare eared girl. The tea was placed in front of him and looked a little green. His rationale side told him not to drink it. His thirst told him another story. As his thirst won, he lifted the tea cup and proceeded to drink.
A bitter taste cascaded throughout his little tongue and he recoiled in disgust. It tasted nothing like tea.
"This isn't tea!" he cried.
The hat wearing maniac titled his head in question.
"But it's the finest we got! Da ze."
"Yes youngling, you should try some more. It is good for your health." A voice from the table came up, making Little Iceland confused. The teapot lid then opened and out came a small sized man with mouse ears and a tail. He was wearing something similar to a long dress and had black bowl cut hair.
Little Iceland had just about enough of this.
"I just want to go home! This had been fun but I need to see big brother Norway!"
He stormed off past the table, very upset but very determined to find a way home.
"Oh dear, so young and yet so temperamental." The mouse man, Kiku commented as Little Iceland left.
"You've got that right, da ze." Yong Soo added.
As Little Iceland walked deeper and deeper into the path, he noticed that the trees started to bend. When he looked back, the 'exit' was being swallowed by the leaves. More steps into the forest, the leaves started to become purple, and he could see the moon through the small holes. Then, an amazing thing happened, the crescent moon moved and developed teeth. The mouth chuckled and Little Iceland didn't know whether to be scared or utterly fascinated. The moon then disappeared, so did the path.
Little Iceland yelped in surprise when a large pair of eyes appeared in front of him. They rotated and bounced, making Little Iceland very scared. Then they transformed into a figure. In front of him appeared a once again strange looking person. He was a teen and had cat ears and tail. He had long brown hair and skin like the previous crazy tea party people. He had a small smirk on his face. Suddenly, Little Iceland wasn't so scared anymore, instead he was a little irritated.
"Why won't you people let me go home in peace?" he cried, desperate to see his family. The cat person chuckled. He floated around Little Iceland and also sniffed him.
"Why are you so like, depressed, human child?" he asked. Why do all these 'people' speak weirdly? Little Iceland pondered.
"I want to go home to my family."
The cat mischievously circled around and flew left and right. He thought of many different ways he thought to mislead the child from the path to home. He chuckled and laughed to himself as he thought of a glorious plan.
"In that case, I can like help you!"
Little Iceland stood a little bit skeptical but was convinced when the cat eared teen touched the trunk of a tree. A small wooden door formed in the trunk and it opened to reveal a scenery just like home!
Little Iceland brightened and hugged the teen very tightly.
"Thank you big brother Kitty Cat!"
The teen twitched a bit, never in his entire life had he been called that. People were smarter than to get on the cat's nerves. But the kid hugged him so wholeheartedly that he felt compelled not to say anything. He also now felt bad that he opened the door to him. Before he could change it due to a change of heart, Little Iceland climbed through the door.
"Wait, no!"
It was too late.
There was a spiral and the tree sucked Little Iceland inside, closing the portal to the other side.
"Oppsie." Was all the Cheshire cat said before shrugging and disappearing with a small 'pop'
Little Iceland was over excited. The door led him to another falling path of weird items like pots, pans, puppets and tea cups. It definitely seemed like he was going to end up right on top of the bird nest he fell into. However, instead of landing on a pointy collection of hay, twigs and dirt, he landed on lush green grass. Little Iceland looked around in confusion, there scenery was now completely different from his home. He saw bushes of sunflowers but some were coloured white. Tears welled in his eyes as he started crying.
"Good heavens! What is a child doing here?" A voice came from the behind the bushes.
A man came out with a paint brush.
"Stop crying please! The king will have my head!"
He had above shoulder length brown hair and a timid expression. He held a paintbrush in one hand and a bucket in the other. Little Iceland saw that the bucket was filled with yellow paint.
"Wadda go home but no one helep meee!" Iceland replied, crying louder than ever. The man looked extremely flustered before pulling out a pastry from his pocket.
"P-please stop crying! Here eat this."
Little Iceland looked at the cupcake and ate it quietly. What he and the man did not expect was for Little Iceland to become not so little anymore.
Little Iceland became so big that the man only reached up to his knee.
"What's with all this noise?" came a bloodcurdling voice from behind the man. The man seemed to have fainted from pure shock and Iceland could see a figure with bright silver hair and in extravagant robes, accompanied by several attendants who looked frightened. The robes were embroidered with jeweled sunflowers and golden thread. On top of the man's head was a crown that sparkled under the sun.
"Are you a king?" Iceland asked eagerly. The man shook his head and smiled brightly. But something about the smile made Iceland very uncomfortable.
"No dear, I am the King," he chuckled, making Iceland gulp. "The one and only." he looked around at his sunflower patch and smiled darkly.
"Now I wonder, who was it that DIDN'T LISTEN TO MY ORDERS TO PAINT THE SUNFLOWERS YELLOW?!" He screeched, pulling out a metal pipe from nowhere. Little Iceland fell on his bum in surprise. There was a loud thud when he fell and he whimpered slightly. This man was scary!
"Yo-Your majesty! Toris was in charge, he's lying right here!"
"Bring him back to the castle, there will be a personal execution." The king said with a bright smile, then he turned to Iceland who cowered under his gaze.
"Boy, I like you! Come be a part of my kingdom and witness our culture." Iceland followed out of pure fear but as he got closer and closer to the castle, he wanted to leave.
The castle was tall and large with white marble floors and grand chandeliers, large enough even to house the now big Iceland. Toris awoke some time while being carried off and he pleaded constantly to not be killed, tears welling up in his eyes. Iceland watched in terror but as the King sat on his throne, smiling gleefully he couldn't take it.
"No!" Little big Iceland yelled, pushing the executioner away and scooping up Toris. He quivered as the King glared at him, his hands moving to the pipe.
"You dare interrupet my show?" he growled. Iceland whimpered and teared up, but he wiped them with Toris' shirt then raced out of the throne room, trying to figure a way out.
"Hey! You, psst!" It was the cat like man who had brought Iceland to the King. His head was floating in mid air, flying with Iceland.
Iceland didn't stop running, looking at the cat man suspiciously.
"I can like, help you escape."
"I'm not listening to you! You mean kitty cat!"
"It was an accident, but really, I mean it this time." He smiled softly. Big Iceland, being still small and innocent inside, trusted the cat and nodded. The cat did some sort of complicated hand motion and created a portal right in front of Iceland, then closed it quickly before the guards could catch up.
With a small thud, Iceland and Toris landed on the forest floor, looking up, the nation saw the cat hovering above them. They had returned to the Cheshire woods.
"You alright?" Iceland asked Toris patting his back. He was shaking.
"T-thank you very much, oh and here." Toris handed him another cake and Iceland, hungry, took a bite.
He shrank back to his normal size and before he could continue eating the cake, Toris switched it out with a regular one.
"Do I get a thanks?" The cat man asked, his hands in the air. Toris thanked him nervously then scurried off. The cat man scoffed and landed on the floor, sitting crossed legged to be eye level with his small friend.
"I'm Xiang."
"My- Name…is Iceland." little Iceland replied through mouthfulls. After he finished the small cake, he moved closer to Xiang and rested his little head on Xiang's shoulders. The cat blushed softly as the nation nuzzled his face.
"There there," he said awkwardly, patting his back, unaware that Iceland was slowly falling asleep. Little Iceland breathed in the nice smell from Mr. Xiang and was lulled into a pleasant slumber, wondering vaguely if he would ever get back home.
The next time he woke, Little iceland looked around to see the familar yellowish grass and plains. He jumped up and could see his home in the near distance, and…
"Iceland?"
"Brother!" Little Iceland was overjoyed to see his big brother, he ran up to him and gave him a big hug, grinning from ear to ear.
"Brother! Brother Norway!"
Norway smiled.
"Yes?"
"I went on an adventure!"
Norway chuckled, picking up his brother.
"I want to hear all about it."
~.~
I started this I think in about 2016, finally finished it so there you have it! Hope you enjoyed my hetalian paraody of Alice in the Wonderland. Just in case there are some confusion;
The flower faries were Spain, Prussia and France.
The twins were (obviously) North and South Italy
The caterpillar was Netherlands
The mad hatter was South Korea, with the hare Vietnam and the dormouse Japan
The cheshire cat was Hong Kong
The King was Russia
and Toris is well, Lithuania