Hey bastards. I'm just kidding. Hey there. This is my Mass Effect Q&A. I've already doing one for The Walking Dead video game and now I have on for this one. Enjoy. I would put it in scripted format (you know since it's easier and make more sense to be honest), but the last time I did it, it got reported by an asshole. The little bitch…okay just kidding again. It's against the rules so I should have expected it.

Q: Who's the sexist race in your universe?

A: "Well it's not the asari as all these tentacle furry fucks would say. No offense." said Shepard.

"None taken…I think." said Liara wondering what a furry was when asari didn't have hair.

"It's obviously the krogan. Have you heard the voices of those fuckers? Too sexy." said Shepard.

"I thought you said the krogan looked like a dinosaur that fucked a turtle." said Ashley.

"Doesn't matter. Even if you're ugly as shit, if your voice sounds cool we can go all night all long." said Shepard.

"Well you would if you didn't have a girlfriend." said Tali crossing her arms.

Q: Favorite Mass Effect game

A: The second one. Mostly because you could basically kill off whoever you wanted aka Miranda, Jacob, Samara, Legion, Grunt, Tali, Garrus, Thane, Mordin, your crew that stays on the ship, and Jack. Besides that, I just enjoyed this game more than the first and the last one for some reason. Possibly because of the funny renegade options you have in the second one. M3 lacks them for me. Maybe I have to get the Citadel DLC to find the ones I really like. Plus it has some of my all-time favorite ME characters in it. Also Jack's cute self, Legion, and Grunt.

Q: Shepard- What's the hardest thing you've ever done?"

A: "Figuring out whether or not I should use the extranet to find out whether or not turians have nipples." said Shepard. "Long story short, I asked Garrus and he wouldn't answer me."

"Well excuse me if some people have a reputation for giving what you humans call titty-twisters."

"I wasn't going to twist it that hard!"

"So you admit you were going to do it!"

"No…well yes."

"Well even if I did for some reason have nipples, you weren't going to touch 'em." said Garrus crossing his arms. "Besides I never take my armor off."

"No shit. You wouldn't even take off your armor after you got blasted." said Shepard shaking his head.

"Of course not! Last time I was about to, I caught you spying on me!"

Q: What's the best thing you can say about your female team mates?

A: "Well Ashley has some sexy ass lips." said Shepard rubbing his chin. "Samara is the only asari that doesn't freak me out. That bitch is sexy as fuck too. Fucking a MILF would be a dream come true! Let's see uh…oh right. Jack came through a lot doing that collector mission. Plus she has got the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen. Kelly's the best. 9 out of 10 times I don't feel like punching her in the face. I wanna see her crack though. Too bad she died. Let's see…Tali has a nice personality and I admit that she does care about people other than herself. I couldn't do that shit. Miranda has nice hair and I'd slap her titties if she let me."

"In your dreams Shepard." said Miranda.

"Anyways, Evie's a robot. That bitch doesn't count." said Shepard.

"It's EDI and I recall you making passes at me before."

"That was a long time ago."

"It was last week."

"Bullshit!"

"I could…"

"Bullshit!"

Q: Would you ever have sex with a vorcha?

A: "Have you seen the teeth on those things? They'd eat me! Why do you think I avoid turians like the plague?" said Shepard.

"So you're scared of turians? I could have sworen you said nothing scared you." Ashley smirked at the commander.

"Shut up, Ashley." he glared at her. "You won't be looking so smug once they raise up and eat us."

"I doubt that Shepard." said Garrus.

"Of course you'd say that, Gar-Bear!" said Shepard.

"Did you call me…I thought I told you not to say call me that anymore!"

"You did, but I can't resist the urge to call you that…besides I like getting on your nerves."