Disclaimer: I own very few things. House MD is not one of them. Please don't sue me.
Summary: House agrees to do a favor for Cuddy and pays the price.
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
Chapter One
"House? Need you." Cuddy said, poking her head into Clinic Room 2.
"Little busy." He replied, voice distorted by the sucker in his mouth. On the exam table sat a middle-aged woman, fidgeting anxiously with the edge of her sweater. "These cough drops aren't going to prescribe themselves."
"Dr. House? It's urgent." She said through gritted teeth, forcing a smile at the patient.
"Your tax dollars at work." He said to the patient, swirling the sucker around his mouth. Grabbing his cane, he followed Cuddy's glare to the door.
"I need you to pick up Rachel from kindergarten." She said the moment the door had shut behind him.
"Yeah." He said, disbelieving. "That sounds like something I'd do."
"It's an emergency."
"There's a medical emergency at your spawn's finger-painting factory? Something that only a board-certified diagnostician with a double specialty in infectious disease and nephrology can handle?"
"Did I say that?" She said wearily. "I have an emergency board meeting."
"Where's your ridiculously expensive snot-wiper?"
"Mary has a family emergency. She's out of town for the next week."
"Likely excuse." He scoffed. "What about Wilson?"
"The board meeting."
"Cameron?"
"Doing her job. Do you really think I would be asking you if I hadn't exhausted all of my other resources?"
"I'm doing my job. You used to care about that, remember? Your face would get all red and splotchy—"
"House."
"I mean, earlier today you—"
"House! I'll give you a week off of clinic duty."
"No way! The clinic is the only way for me to give back to my community. I take it very seriously."
"Two weeks. And you can go home the moment you give her back to me. Take the rest of the day off." She said, a look of pure desperation on her face.
House paused, biting down on the sucker and shattering it into little pieces in his mouth.
"You're pathetic." He said, the scent of cherries drifting from his mouth and into her nostrils. "Fine. I'll do it. But only because there's a General Hospital marathon this afternoon, and my TV at home is bigger."
Cuddy sighed in relief, and handed him her keys.
"Woah, woah. I am NOT driving your mom-mobile. I have a reputation, you know."
"Her booster seat, you idiot." She said. "Put it in your car."
House rolled his eyes and pocketed the keys.
"Oh, and House? Bring her back in one piece. Or I'll beat you to death with your own cane."
OOOO
Twenty minutes later he was parked outside of Rachel's school, leaning against the side of his car. Ipod blaring, he popped a Vicodin, ignoring the accusing looks of the waiting parents. The door to the school opened, and a line of small children filtered out and into the arms of their waiting chauffeurs.
Towards the end of the line he could see Cuddy's spawn, standing on the top step and looking anxiously around her. Her teacher had a hand on her shoulder, both of them looking for the kid's nanny. Yanking out his earphones, he raised his cane in the air and got Rachel's attention.
"Kid!" He shouted. "Hurry up and get in or I'm leaving without you."
Rachel grinned and hopped down the stairs, followed closely by her teacher.
"Why are you here?" The little girl asked happily upon reaching the car.
"I'm asking myself the same thing." He said, opening the door. "Get in."
"Dr. House." Rachel's teacher said coolly, crossing her arms over her chest. "What happened to Mary?"
"Have you met this kid?" He asked, nodding his head towards the car. "She's enough to scare anyone away."
"Where's Dr. Cuddy?"
"Emergency doctor thing." He said, limping towards the driver's side door. "Or she got scared away too. Either one."
The teacher frowned, and House shuddered. The woman obviously held a grudge. A couple of months ago the kid had been sent home after calling a little boy a 'moronic bastard'. Furious, Cuddy had forced him to accompany her to the following meeting with her teacher. Her plan had been to make House take responsibility for his actions and see the error of his ways. It didn't exactly go as planned.
"Drive safely." The teacher said, frowning. "If she doesn't show up at school tomorrow I'm calling the police."
House rolled his eyes and tossed his cane into the car.
"Well, hopefully we'll be across the Mexican border by then." He said, sinking into the seat and slamming the door behind him. Ignoring the teacher's angry glare, he reached into the backseat and yanked on the kid's booster seat strap, making sure she was properly buckled in. Trying desperately to ignore the kid's incessant talking, he started up the car and took off.
OOOO
Three minutes later he could feel a headache forming, and the kid hadn't even paused for breath since she got in the car. Sighing, he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a sucker, tossing it in her general direction.
"Is this for me?" The little girl asked happily.
"No, it's for the other kid in the backseat."
She scowled, but hesitantly tore the wrapper off of the red sucker.
"You know, Mommy got mad the last time you gave me sweets."
"Yeah, well, Mommy's not here, is she? Eat your sucker."
She popped it into her mouth, and House sighed in relief. Finally, silence.
OOOO
Three minutes later, the silence was broken once again.
"Uncle House? Look."
House frowned, steadfastly ignoring her.
"Look. Look, Uncle House. Look at me."
Rolling his eyes, he glanced into the rearview mirror at the kid. She was looking forward, her little eyes squeezed shut and tongue sticking straight out. It was stained red from the sucker.
"Is my tongue red, Uncle House?"
House smiled slightly in spite of himself.
"Your tongue's always red."
OOOO
Two minutes later the kid had dropped her sucker, and House was doing his best to stop her whining. He thought briefly about just turning up the radio to drown her out. But before he could make a move, he was startled by a car heading straight towards his own. With only seconds to make a decision, he jerked the car to the right. Moments later, everything went black.
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