They lay under the stars, deep in the remote jungle of Vietnam, surrounded by thick brush and hazy sky. It was Curt Lemon's idea, walking as far as they tangibly could into the deeply wooded areas around their camp, away from the other soldiers. Just for fun, he had told Rat Kiley. Pretty reckless, Rat thought, but the young soldier was his best friend, so he agreed to follow him.
"Perfect," Curt Lemon sighed, dropping his belongings on the grass below him and leaning up against a tree. "Don't you think?"
"Yeah," Rat Kiley trailed off, wondering about what had happened between them the night before. Curt had done an odd thing; he invited him to his bunker late that night, gray eyes sleepless and scared.
"Hey," he whispered nervously. "Couldn't sleep."
Rat frowned. None of them ever slept; how was this night different?
"No problem, man, just ride it out," he reassured him. The air was cool and damp with little bursts of lightning seen periodically through the twilight, the trees above them casting shadows onto their bunker. They hadn't been taken under fire in nearly two weeks, which had been a record for Alpha Company since Rat had arrived several months before. An uneventful night, he thought, but he was well aware of the terror and paranoia that accompanied sitting alone in the dark, being left with his thoughts alone. Soldiers begin to lose themselves. The night consumes them, the fields come alive, shapes and noises warping themselves; hushed buzzing sounds, movements in the corner of their eyes, trembling silhouettes on the horizon; eventually, their ability to keep their composure under the stress abandoned them. He knew Curt Lemon was brave, but no matter how courageous, the war would seep into his bones and distort his perception, thrusting him into an alternate state of being, gripped with horror and cruel panic, just as it had done to countless other soldiers. So Rat leaned back beside him and closed his eyes, a wordless energy between them, a certain type of tension and knowingness in the space between their forms.
Curt moved closer to him. After some time, he became so close Rat could feel his warmth though the thin cotton blankets and hear the shallow, trembling breaths from his mouth, the rise and fall of his chest uneven and constricted. His stomach knotted.
He studied Rat Kiley's face closely, the curve of his his pointed nose, the streaks of green in his hazel eyes, his freckled shoulders exposed beneath the sagging fatigues he wore, the features distinguishing themselves to him as if it were his first time seeing them. Then, he leaned in and brushed his lips against Rat's cheek softly, without any hesitation, nearly impulsively. Rat Kiley froze.
"Curt?" he squeaked.
Curt Lemon was silent for a while, finally cursing under his breath. His face had become red and warped into an expression Rat Kiley hadn't seen on him before.
"Shit," he whispered, breaths quickening. He got up abruptly and moved to the edge of the bunker. "I'm sorry, I… I mean-" The air was thick with tension. "Shit."
Rat was speechless; his mind went completely blank. Curt Lemon continued to speak to him in a hushed, shaky voice, however the sounds couldn't quite reach him.
"Rat?" he looked up towards Curt. He couldn't meet Rat Kiley's eyes; he crouched at the foot of the sleeping area, fidgeting with the buttons on his uniform and gazing out of the cracks between the walls.
"You can go back to your bunker now, if you want," he spoke in a low, trembling voice.
"What?" Rat asked him.
"Go back to your bunker. Forget this."
Rat shook his head as he leaned forward, eyes fastened on Curt Lemon. "What's going on?"
Curt was silent for a moment. He rested his head between his knees and released a faint sigh.
"I can't keep going like this any more," he whispered. "Promise you won't tell anyone, okay?" Rat nodded his head. Curt Lemon took a shaky breath, his face becoming flushed and red. "I... I love you."
"You…?" Rat Kiley's eyes widened.
"Please, don't let any of the other guys know-" he began, a frantic, upset expression washing over his face before Rat moved forward and embraced him softly, causing Curt to jump at the sudden movement.
"Don't worry," Rat murmured as he buried his face in his chest, causing Curt to make a small, airy noise from the back of his throat, and after a while, Rat Kiley felt the wet sensation of tears on his shoulder. He closed his eyes gently, resting his head on Curt Lemon's chest and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Morning raced towards them, sun peeking over the mountains and through the trees towering above them. Sanders poked his head into the bunker.
"Hey, Lemon-" his eyes widened. "Oh. Hey, Rat. I'll just… Nevermind, bye," he moved away from them briskly.
Some time had passed before Curt finally spoke.
"You should leave now," Curt Lemon said, voice raspy and exhausted. "Thanks."
Rat nodded, walking away from the bunker.
"Listen, Rat, I wanted to talk about the other night. I…" he trailed off, unable to find the words that expressed his embarrassment. "I'm sorry, alright?"
"You don't have to apologize," Rat shrugged.
"What do you mean? I fucked up. If anyone finds out about any of that…" paused. "We'll be lucky if Sanders doesn't Rat us out."
"No one will find out all the way out here," Rat rested his head on the tree behind him. "Isn't that why we're this far out in the first place?"
Curt Lemon was silent for a moment. "What do you make of all this, Rat?"
He thought for a while. With Curt, his friendship had always been far more intimate than with any of the other soldiers, his bond with him something completely different than anything he had ever felt with another. All of the others had assumed they were the best of friends, which was what they had been, but after what had happened the night before, their relationship had transcended anything Rat had experienced, causing itself to be bewildering and foreign to him. However, the way that he felt towards Curt was something exciting and new, something that he was eager to explore. He began whispering at first as lips formed the words that he couldn't bring himself to say directly. A smile crossed his lips.
"Rat?" he turned to meet his eyes.
"When life gives you Lemons," he whispered, "make lemonade…"
Curt scoffed. "Jesus, man. Come on."
Rat took the loosening tensions as a chance to become closer with him. He leaned closer to him and cocked his head to rest on his forehead, however Curt had caught him and turned towards his face, smiling coyly as his lips met Rat's.
The gentle kiss had escalated quickly, becoming heated and intense. There was something completely different in the way that Curt's mouth moved against his, sending goosebumps through Rat Kiley's flushed skin and leaving him wanting something more. His head jerked back as Curt grabbed a tuft of the honey-colored hair and pulled swiftly, tongue sliding further past his lips and causing a muffled whimper to escape him.
Rat placed his hands on Curt Lemon's hips and found himself fumbling with the zipper on his pants.
Shaky hands slid themselves inside Curt Lemon's pants, taking his length within them. Curt shivered, bucking his hips against the sensation eagerly, fluid movements quickening towards his peak. Heels dug into the ground as he felt heat spread through his lower abdomen.
"Shit," he groaned. His body went rigid; shallow breaths transformed into heavy, constricted moans, and Rat quickened his pace, squirming with built up pressure as his hips rotated and curved, trying to relieve his own arousal as Curt Lemon was.
Rat Kiley allowed Curt to unbutton his own pants gently, sliding them past his thighs and tossing them to the bushes aside, and rather than taking him within his hands, Curt bent down so his member was at eye level with him. He smirked, caressing the length with his tongue.
The reaction Curt got was instant. A loud moan escaped Rat Kiley's lips as blinding pleasure surged through his trembling body. He couldn't maintain any sort of rhythm; hips erratically pressed up against Curt Lemon's mouth and his euphoric, pleasured noises demanded more from him as he neared climax.
Rat whimpered as he felt the heat around him tighten; he couldn't keep himself from moaning and squeaking, and Curt was forced to clamp his hand around Rat's mouth as he reached his peak.
Curt Lemon had ran out of juice; they both rested next to each other, lying in each other's arms, a stunned silence between them along with a type of secrecy in their newfound closeness keeping them together under the night sky.
They lay there until a faint rustling was heard in the distance.
"Oh fuck," Curt whispered. "What time is it?"
Rat shrugged, looking up at the sky. The sun had long since fallen below the horizon, and the moon began to emerge from the deep blue curtain above them. They heard their names being called out by fellow soldiers, the voices becoming closer. They rushed to dress themselves before silhouettes of the men emerged through the jungle around them.
"What the hell is going on?" First Lieutenant Jimmy Cross demanded, pulling a branch from behind the two. "You two are going to get yourselves killed this far out."
"Just stargazing," Curt Lemon half-lied, avoiding his platoon leader's eyes.
"Jesus Christ," Cross mumbled. "Get up. Both of you."
They stood in unison, following their platoon leader through the thick brush. They moved carefully, avoiding obstacles as they trudged through the spongy earth; the amount of time it took to reach their base made Curt aware of just how far he and Rat had gone out, how lucky they were that they hadn't been discovered by any Viet Cong before Cross had went looking for them. When they had eventually arrived at their tents, Mitchell Sanders turned back towards Curt Lemon and Rat Kiley, gave the two an odd look, then shook his head and muttered something inaudible, walking away tiredly.
They slept in the same foxhole that night, and nearly all of the others during the weeks following, the two growing dangerously close and causing considerable suspicion within the men in their platoon. One morning, Alpha Company took a break from marching into the mountains, stopping at a trail junction deep in the jungle. Neither of the two took the assignment seriously; immediately, they began fooling around, giggling and playing games under the canopy of trees.
"Ah! Hey, you cheated!" Curt Lemon's face was covered in a thin layer of powder; he had caught the smoke grenade they were tossing just as it had released the brightly colored cloud.
"Yellow mother," Rat Kiley teased. "Lemon yellow."
Curt laughed and said something inaudible to Rat as he turned away and walked from under the canopy of trees into the bright sunlight.
His face was suddenly brown and shining.