She was wearing a bright red silk kimono, the color of cherries, with pink blossoms and cranes delicately woven into the fabric. It was cheap; a souvenir bought the one time she went to the mainland. But she loved it nonetheless; some days she would just sit on her bed wrapped up in the gorgeous silk, rubbing it across her cheek with her long lashes closed, pretending that she was beautiful. Today was different though. Today she stood in front of her mirror. Today she felt ugly, hated. Today she felt nothing. She wasn't sure why she was here, what had happened to make it come to this. There was something wrong with her mind. The pills weren't helping.

She stared at the silver blade held in her soft white hand, mesmerized by the light running up and down its keen edge. Last time had been with a key; last time had been with tears. This time she felt nothing, no fear, no sadness. Just curiosity. Would her blood be as red as the sleeves of her kimono?

She didn't want to die; on the contrary, she loved her life. Loved the green trees and yellow sun and blue sky. What fascinated her was the voices in her head. Something was wrong there and she knew it; her boyfriend knew it, her family knew it. She had told them time and again not to leave her alone, but her terror for quiet wide dark spaces was not heeded. Now the voices wanted to compare her blood with silk.

It didn't even hurt.

She watched as it congealed on her wrist, then pooled as she dug harder. It began to drip into the sink, filling it up like a thick, rusty rich wine, collected on the edge of the silver knife.

Pretty. Said her dizzy thoughts.

It wasn't too deep. But her knees felt weak.

Almost noncommittal, she realized she was going to faint. She reached forward weakly, her cut arm pressing to the mirror as she tried to steady herself. The mirror was smeared with her blood. Her world tilted sideways as she fell forward, hitting her head on the edge of the counter.

Ow.

She curled up on the floor, her knees drawn to her chest, her blood dripping to the floor like liquid ruby jewels. Huh, it's darker than cherries.

Fuzzy. Her eyes were fuzzy. Then black.

I'm done.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, turquoise eyes red from crying, smudged with mascara, a harsh splotchy red flush spilling across my cheeks. The light in my eyes was gone. I didn't even look at my eyes all that often and I could tell. My heart was broken, beaten to the point where I couldn't take this world anymore. These people.

No one wants me here. I fucked up so badly.

I stretched my fingers towards myself, watching as my fingertips splayed across the cool glass, the looking glass that always reveals everything you try to hide. Who had I been fooling anyway? Certainly not John. Or Eddie. I had dug myself the deepest hole possible and now couldn't find a stepladder, no helping hand to lift me back up. I was done. Finished.

I want to leave. Leave here and never return. And never need to say sorry again. I'm so TIRED of saying sorry.

I couldn't see any way out of here. I was stuck, metaphorically, in a land that would never fulfill my dreams, never allow me to achieve the greatness I had so long aspired for. Why? Why couldn't I just step through the looking glass? Alice had done it so easily….

I wish for another world. His world. The world I've lived in all of my life in my mind. I want it! I need it….

My palms pressed against that cold, unforgiving glass as it reflected the true mess I had created. The horrible me I had created. How could this have happened? I always tried to do what's right, to love and forgive. So what if I had been a little selfish? Every human is that way! Why can't I have a second chance?

Yes, a second chance….please. I will prove that I can do better. Just….please….help me up…..

Suddenly, a strange shape appeared behind my reflection. I stared in astonishment as the surface of the mirror rippled, contorting and flexing until a face I knew quite well was staring back at me. Gasping in surprise, I stepped back, pulling my hands away as they threatened to sink through what had once been as solid as crystal.

"Ash! What the…how're you….?"

My heartbeat quickened as I gazed into the brown eyes of a boy I had long since given up on. Another one of my mistakes. But his eyes weren't friendly, and neither was his voice as he opened his mouth to speak. "You're Katie right? The girl who wrote that story?" I blinked, for a moment not comprehending his words.

"Huh? What story…..oh wait! You mean the one I made about you and me and Brock?"

I was astounded when he nodded his head. "Yea. And the one that fucked everything up. So you'd better get through here and fix it. Now!" His anger lit up his brown eyes with a fiery passion, one I had so long wished to see. Then my cheeks flushed at his harsh tone, anger welling up from my stomach, hot and bubbling.

"What the hell? All I ever did was write some stupid story! Tell me what, in the name of all that is holy, is going on here!"

His face darkened and he opened his mouth again to say something, but then turned as if he had heard something behind him. He groaned, exasperated. "I know Brock! But she won't get her ass through here!" Gritting his teeth he turned back to me, attempting to be reasonable. "Please come through here Katie. My entire world is at risk if you don't."

"Wha-what d'you mean? Why?"

"Hurry!" he grimaced again, twisting in discomfort, and I saw that the edges of the mirror were starting to harden. If I didn't do something quick, he would be stuck there. I gulped, wondering what the hell this all meant. Then everything clicked into place. This was it! My escape, my get-out-of-jail-free card. And to the pokemon world no less! My pulse quickened as my heart raced, thinking of all the possibilities. So what if Ash was pissed at me? Fuck boys anyway! I'd had enough of them. Within a split second I made my decision.

"Alright! Move outta the way!"

A look of relief passed over Ash's face as he nodded. I clambered quickly onto the countertop, nervously watching as the fluid part of the glass grew smaller and smaller. This is it. I felt a twinge of regret, looking back over my shoulder, wondering if anyway would miss me. Then I hardened my resolve. I'd had enough of this world that seemed intent to screw me over again and again, that had reveled in the pain it had caused. I was done.

I love you, mom, dad, nana, my dear sisters. And I'm sorry, but now….I'm gone. Never to trouble you again. Goodbye.

Taking a deep breath, I took hold of Ash's hand, the fabric of his green glove soft and warm in mine. Our eyes met again, and this time his eyes softened for a split second, pleading for something he had lost, something that perhaps I had left to give. Then it was over, and he yanked me forward. I fell into him, though the looking glass. For a split second I looked back. My brow furrowed as I saw a young girl curled up on the floor in a red kimono, blood surrounding her left arm and head. She had golden curly hair that covered her face. My stomach jumped as I realized….