Helping out

Chapter 1

'There's no one here to safe' Maggie said.

I just looked at her. She must feel so much sadness, but I can never quite forgive her. Yes, I'll always love her and help her, because she is my mother, and because that's what I'm supposed to do. But I can't forgive her for everything she'd put me and Eric through when we were kids. Hell, for what she'd put me through today, and probably tomorrow and many days after tomorrow. But just looking at her now, standing on the balcony next to me, yet feeling so alone, I..

'Hey, is everything okay out here?' I here some whisper behind me. I turn around and see Carter standing in the doorway.

'Yeah, everything is fine' I say, but I can see he doesn't really believe me. He knows me too well. Thank God he's letting it go by. For now anyway.

'I'm gonna get something to eat down the street, do you want me to bring something back for you guys?' he looks from me to Maggie and back to me. Maggie doesn't even acknowledge his presence.

'No, we're fine John' I say, looking at Maggie and then at Carter. 'Thanks though'

'Sure, I'll be right back' he says. He lightly touches my shoulder before turning away and leaving to get himself some food. He's been so sweet helping me and all. He's been such a great friend. Before my thoughts start drifting off again I feel a cold breeze blowing through my hair and I notice Maggie shiver next to me.

'Come on mum, let's go inside. It's getting cold out here.' She turns her head to me and looks at me like she has no idea where she is. She was probably deep in thoughts too. To my surprise she doesn't argue it with me, but she just walks inside, leaving me outside alone for a second. I take a deep breath and then follow her inside. She walks from Carter's room straight into our room. That's the benefits of having joined rooms, I think. If anything happens Carter will be right in the next room. I don't know why, but it makes me feel safe. I never really had anyone help me with this. I never needed anyone to help me with this, but I have to admit to myself that I like the idea of having Carter nearby. It's a nice feeling that I'm not alone with my mother. I follow Maggie in our room and find her sitting on the bed.

'Do you want something to eat or drink? I can get us something. Or I can call Carter, he's out getting some food himself.' I ask her.

'No thanks, I just want to go to sleep' she says. Then she grabs the nightgown I brought for her from her bed and walks into the bathroom. I hear water running, so I figure she's gonna be a while, so I decide to call Luka back. I have to admit I feel kind of guilty for doing this with Carter instead of him. He is my boyfriend after all. But still, I can't talk with him the way Carter and I talk. He doesn't understand me the way Carter does. Suddenly I don't feel like calling him anymore. I feel now even guiltier. I shouldn't be thinking about Carter while I'm with Luka, it's just not right. But I can't help it. Now I feel even more confused than before. I don't want to feel this way! I feel tears stinging in my eyes. It's just too much right now. One thing at the time, please! I hear the shower stop and quickly try to compose myself. I don't want my mother to see me this way. I look in the mirror to see if I'm at least a little bit presentable. Well, it'll have to do. I hear the door open and I see Maggie appear in the nightgown I brought. She looks better after her shower. She looks at me with a faint smile around her lips and she crawls into bed. She then looks at me.

'Honey, aren't you going to bed? You must be exhausted and we have a long drive tomorrow, all the way to Chicago. Not that it was my idea, but whatever'

'I'm not that tired yet and I want to wait up for John. But you can go to sleep. I'll just wait in his room. Maybe watch some TV. Do you think you'll be alright?'

'I can sleep alone in a room, I'm not a baby anymore!' she snaps at me. I guess there was too much concern in my voice. I just can't help it. How can I not be concerned right now?

'You're right, I'm sorry' I say, avoiding a fight. 'Goodnight mum' and I flip the light out and close the door behind me. I look around in John's room. What to do now? I ask myself. I go sit on the bed, and that's when I feel how tired I really am. I just didn't notice before. Well, as long as this is a bed, I might as well lay down. As I lay on his bed, for a second my thoughts start drifting of again. Luka, Carter, Luka, John. Why is nothing ever simple? Why can't one thing ever go right in my life? I know I'm not one for self-pity, but I can't stop the tears from falling this time. Once in a while you just have to get it all out, and apparently, now is the time for me. Once the tears start to fall from my eyes, I can't stop them anymore, and I don't want to. It feels so good to cry it all out. But then I hear a door open and close and I know who it is. It's the last person I want to see me cry. The last person I want to see me at my weakest. It's Carter. I turn on the bed so that I'm now face-down on the pillow. Maybe he won't notice me crying. Maybe he'll just think I'm asleep. Yeah right, that'll work; I'm shaking from the sobs and my breathing is as irregular as it can possibly be. But still I lay still. I hear him walk across the room and something on the table before sitting at the very end of the bed. I don't see him, I just feel it. I then feel a hand on my lower leg. As much as I hate to admit it, it feels comfortable.

'Abby?' I hear him ask. I don't respond. 'Abby, I brought back some sandwiches in case you're hungry. You haven't eaten anything since this afternoon, so you must be at least a little hungry..' he says, trying to get a response from me. I still don't say anything. I hear him sigh and I feel a weight being lifted from the mattress as he stands up. I wonder where he's gone to as I here him open the balcony door.

'Abby, come outside with me for a second, please?' I can practically hear him bagging.

I lift me head from the pillow and see him looking at me with concern in his eyes. This just breaks my heart. What did I put him through? He didn't have to come here with me. I shouldn't have dragged him with me. I should've stopped him. But then, here he is, still staring at me in the hope that I stand up and go outside with him. I figure that the least I can do is go with him if that's what he wants. So I stand up and walk to the balcony. He's leaning on the railing, staring at the sky.

'Look, all those stars Abby. It's beautiful' I look at him and then at the sky. He's right, it does look beautiful. I go and stand next to him, leaning on the railing, mimicking his position. We both stand there for a couple of minutes, just staring at the sky. Then I feel his hand on my shoulder. I freeze for a second, hoping he doesn't notice. I look at him, and it doesn't seem he'd sensed me tense up at all. He just looks at me with that look of concern. Those beautiful brown eyes, so full of concern. For a second, we just look at each other. 'Are you okay?'

What am I supposed to say? He just saw me cry. I think I'm gonna go for the safe way out. 'As okay as I can be right now, I guess. I mean, it's been a pretty stressful day and I'm tired. I actually just wanted to go to sleep, but I wanted to wait up for you. I really want to thank you for doing this. You know you don't have to..'

'Abby, you don't have to thank me. I'm your friend, and this is what friends are for. They help each other out – even if they don't need help' he quickly adds, as he already saw me opening my mouth. So I close it again. No need to speak right now. I just look at him thankfully and then turn my gaze back to the stars. I can feel him staring at me for a second longer, before he takes his hand of my shoulder and moves away from the railing. I wonder where he's going, but I just keep staring at the stars. For some reason I don't want to stop looking at them. It's really peaceful. I jump a little when I suddenly hear a voice speaking behind me.

'You said you were tired, come here'

I turn around and see Carter sitting in one of those lay-back-beach-chairs. He motions for me to come sit in front of him. I don't know what he has in mind or what he wants me to do, and I don't really want to know. I'm too tired to think now anyway. So I walk over to him and go sit in front of him between his legs. I then suddenly feel two hands on my shoulders and neck and he starts massaging them. He just hits all the soar spots and it feels like heaven. At first I'm a little reluctant to let go, but soon I'm very relaxed and I let out a low moan. I really don't care. I'm too tired to be embarrassed and he has such magic hands, he must've heard this before. I now actually start to feel very relaxed and I feel my eyes closing. I can't help it. I know I'm falling asleep and there's nothing I can do about it. I think he senses it too, because I feel him stop massaging my shoulders and neck and I feel his arms wrap around my waist and pull me to him. I'm too tired to protest, and quite frankly, I don't want to. My back is now against his chest, moving with him as he breaths in and out. I feel so very relaxed right now. I feel him starting to relax also and then all my thoughts stop, and before I know it, I'm asleep..

A/N: Well that's it people. Let me know what you think and if I should continue. Also, I'm not a native English speaker, so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. I really do the best I can.