Vegeta's Computer
Summary: Vegeta must go on the internet because Bulma won't answer a 'human' question Vegeta has. But soon he finds himself in a battle against unstoppable pop-ups.
BIG THANX TO Raccley e.r 17 FOR STIMULATING THE IDEAS!
This is before they get together. That makes everything more ironic. ;D
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"Woman!" Vegeta demanded. "What are these humans talking about?" He pointed to the television.
"What are you watching? The Young and the Restless?"
"I demand to know what's going on," he growled, ignoring her question. Bulma turned and looked at the screen.
"Oh, Rachel! It's horrible!"
"What is it?" the blonde said in tremendous drama.
"Richard and I, we didn't use protection when we were in love! And now I'm late!" the brunette said in angst.
"Woman, I don't understand," Vegeta admitted. "What is 'protection'? Why does she need it to love this 'Richard?' And what does that make her late for?" He looked up at a beet red Bulma.
"Um… I don't know! Why don't you go look it up on the internet?" she all but shouted, rushing out the room.
"Well fine! I will then!" Vegeta roared, stomping off to a computer. "Can't be that difficult to 'look it up'!" he muttered to himself, seating himself at a computer.
"Okay, whenever she looks something up she types it in a search box." He noticed that the homepage was Yahoo! and indeed had a search box.
"Woman, is protection spelled p-r-o-t-e-c-s-i-o-n or p-r-e-t-e-c-s-i-o-n?" he yelled to her.
"P-r-o-t-e-c-t-i-o-n," she yelled from the other room. He typed in every letter as it came out of her mouth.
"What's this at the top?" he asked himself. "Web? Images?" he grumbled to himself, wondering what they were.
"Well, he decided, I might as well find out what this 'protection' looks like so I can be prepared for it," he decided, clicking on the Images button. He hit 'Search.'
"What is that?" he yelped, staring at the pictures. "Woman? How can a stick protect anyone from anything? And I still don't see how that could make a woman late. Did a man place it on the ground so she could trip over it and keep her distance from him?" He was asking himself this more than her. If this indeed was to keep annoying women away, he would have to get some 'protection' for Bulma.
"Look closer Vegeta," Bulma called from the other room, trying to restrain her laughter. He did indeed look closer.
Something about the way that rod was shaped looked familiar… Hmm. He couldn't quite place it. He was beating himself over the brain with it until he saw a link about "putting it on".
"Ah, this must be how to place the stick so that the woman will use it." He clicked on the link.
"Wait a second," he muttered, slowly realizing exactly 'what' the 'stick' was and that the protection was not indeed the stick itself.
Only an astonished yell could be heard.
Hearing the sound of Bulma's laughter after his cry of agony, he immediately clicked the X button on the top right. If he observed her right, that would close the window. He sighed in relief as the box close. He reached over to turn the computer off until something caught his eye.
A window with pictures of a beautiful woman with… extreme features… was suddenly appearing on the screen. The top read "Come to Cindy's Page!" He couldn't help but cock an eyebrow at first, but then frowned when he saw she had no tail.
"What the hell?" he shouted. "Why are her clothes off? There's no mate there with her, and why would that be on here anyway?" He clicked the X again, but another window came up that advertised something called "porn."
"Woman, what is porn?" Vegeta asked Bulma in the other room. All these ads were talking about how good it is, so it obviously was a type of food.
"You should just look that up too, Vegeta," Bulma managed out, muffling her laughter.
"Looks like we'll need to buy another computer once he's done with that," Bulma thought to herself.
"Fine. Whatever," Vegeta agreed, returning to the Yahoo search. He typed 'porn' in and clicked 'Search,' forgetting to unclick the Image button.
The next thing he knew, naked women were all over his screen.
"Damn it! What the hell is going on?" he roared, clicking X on all the screens.
Everywhere he looked, bright colors flashed "ASIANS" and "CHEERLEADERS" and "VIP ROOM INFILTRATED". He gripped the mouse firmly and clicked ferociously, but alas! The more X's he clicked, the more windows seemed to pop up!
"Woman get in here and fix this!" Bulma laughed manically in the next room.
"You can't fix it Vegeta! Once you look at porn, porn is all you get!" she laughed.
He still didn't understand. What did food have to do with naked women? He growled. If she didn't think she could fix it, he'd fix it himself.
He blasted the damn thing.
"Humph," he grunted, satisfied that the pop-ups had sufficiently been subdued. He walked into the room where Bulma was, still wondering why she wouldn't feed him this 'porn.'
"Fine, woman. If you won't give me porn, I'll just have to have you show me how to make it later!" he announced, shocking everyone within hearing vicinity.
But that's another story…
IIIIIII THE END
IMPORTANT AND FUNNY NOTE: I was having the hardest time deciding between 'stick' and 'banana.' I had 'stick', but then at first glance Raccly said that wasn't clarifying. So I changed it. But she said it was funnier as you read on and figured out what the 'stick' was, so I changed it back. BUT IMPORTANTLY: I decided to keep 'stick' because it implied how insignificant the sizes of the men on the computer were compared to him. ;D
That's for all you Vegeta lovers.
I had this idea when I had a pop-up attack myself, but decided porn would be a funnier adventure for Vegeta. Please review! And, if you have a request about continuing this story, I might consider it. ;D
Oh, and its kinda short, so as I come up with more perverted jokes I might add em to this.