Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or any of its characters.
Title: the world could have been ours
Rating: K+
Characters: Luke Skywalker, Biggs Darklighter, Wedge Antilles, Lando Calrissian, Boba Fett, Han Solo with mentions of others
Summary: Five men who could have loved Luka Skywalker. Always-a-girl!Luke
Author's Notes: It has been a long time since I wrote any romance and gender-bending stories. I hope I did a good job of it since I've been a bit out of practice writing this genre. I also had fun choosing a feminine version for Luke's name and decided to settle with Luka which can be used both as a boy and a girl's name and also means "light", fitting for Luke.
With each scenario, I tried to capture a different aspect of this girl Luke and her relationship with each man at different intervals in her life, as well as different types of kisses. Hope I did a good job with the characterization.
A lone boy and girl stood at one of the numerous ports at Mos Eisley. On this day however, the boy was no longer to be a boy but a young man, about to enter the Imperial Academy.
His companion, a petite and slender girl of sixteen standard years, was frowning, wearing an expression of frustration and longing.
" Take me with you," she begged and he tried to not let those words wash over him, the meaning twisted into his own desires and want.
" Your uncle will kill me first," he half-joked instead, wishing she would stop looking at him like that, like she wanted nothing more than him to sweep her off her feet and take her to where only the stars knew.
Her mouth curled unpleasantly and he thought she would snap something, a testy or rude word about her uncle. But that anger passed and she sighed, her shoulders slumped in defeat. " He'd probably kill me first," she muttered, sulking.
Biggs Darklighter smiled. Now that sounded more like the Luka Skywalker he knew.
A part of him whispered he should tell her, tell her now before he was gone and another man took her heart while he was off fighting the Empire. The very thought of someone else kissing her and holding her so intimately made him burn with seething jealousy.
But he knew with his mind made up to join the Rebellion, his life hung on a precarious balance that could easily lead to his death. Being a pilot only amplified it. It would be unfair to put such a burden on a girl who might not even share his affections.
Luka was talking now, her words carried away by the wind. Biggs tried not to grin, knowing her well enough to know she was most likely talking about him needing to watch himself and not to do anything stupid. He was too busy memorizing every little detail, etching all of it in his mind so he would never forget her.
Her hair glinted like gold under the sun and it made the freckles on her nose stand out. Her blue eyes were the closest a desert-born like him would ever glimpse of the mighty ocean. Her mouth crinkled to the side, as she continued to talk, oblivious that he wasn't listening.
And he thought she was the most beautiful creature to grace the empty sands of Tatooine.
" Biggs, are you even listening?" Luka was rolling her eyes at him and sighing in exasperation. He couldn't help falling a little more in love. " I swear, sometimes you –"
She never got a chance to finish because Biggs swept her up in an embrace and a kiss.
It was selfish of him, he knew. But wasn't this like the stories his mother and the other younger girls in his neighbourhood had all dreamed of? When he was younger, he thought of them detestable and boring but this was Luka and this was him and he wouldn't have it any other way.
It felt like an eternity later but he finally released her and set her back down to the ground.
Luka's jaw was slack and she looked up at him with complete shock. After a few seconds, she managed to move her mouth but no coherent words came out. A range of emotions fluttered across her face, none that he could fully make out.
Biggs turned and walked away before he could see her rejection or delight. It was for the best, he decided with a heavy heart. After all, he was a dead man walking and this memory of her soft lips against his was more than enough to keep him alive.
~.~.~
It only took a second but that was all that was needed for Wedge Antilles to miscalculate how close an enemy was at his tail and how two missiles were launched and he wouldn't have enough time to shake it off.
It took another second for him to realize that Commander Skywalker dove towards his right side, firing her own missiles and destroying the fighter.
Right before her x-wing took the hit from a stray shot from above.
Her x-wing gave a horrid splutter as it began its downward spiral, leaving trails of smoke and debris.
Wedge screamed out her name. Not Rogue leader or Commander or even Skywalker. He called her Luka, a name that was only used during late night sabaac games, secret outings to bars and quiet discussions about lost teammates, childhood stories and overwhelming duty.
" Cover for the boss!" Jansen yelled, sounding nearly as distressed as Wedge felt. " There's still three fighters eyeing us."
" Rogue Three, Six and Seven," Wedge managed to find his voice. " Don't let them leave alive. Four and I will go after Luka."
Yet again, he said her name without thinking and he was grateful that no one commented at how easily her first name rolled off his tongue.
" Copy."
" Understood."
" We'll give them hell," Hobbie promised. And there was a tiny part of Wedge that took pity on those TIE fighters because the Rogue Squadron didn't take lightly to anyone harming one of their own, much less their beloved commander.
As he and Tycho darted downward, Luka's x-wing managed to pull itself up and stay afloat, trembling at every motion. A good side was blacked with smoke and broken bits and he couldn't see if R2D2 was still active and helping maintain some control. " Leader, come in," Tycho called, struggling to sound calm. " Do you copy? Can you hear us?"
The next minute was one of the most agonizing moments as only static greeted them and Wedge was wordlessly praying that she wasn't hurt taking that hit or worse, dead. Until finally –
" Copy ... that." There was nothing more relieving than hearing Luka's voice crackling and wavering through the radio and Wedge found himself leaning close, hardly able to breath. " ... lost shields ... think I ... make ... back to base..."
" Got it, boss," Tycho said and Wedge could almost hear his grin.
With the TIE fighters taken care of, the return journey was relatively smooth, though all of them couldn't help but check in constantly on Luka, tossing in jokes and casual dialogue just to make sure she was still conscious (was it just his own imagination that her voice was sounding further and further away with each transmission?).
His eyes never left Luka's x-wing as it gingerly eased its way down to the hanger, wobbling precariously. One of its wheels was shot off completely and the starfighter had an ungraceful landing sideways with a dull crash.
Support staff immediately ran towards it, shouting and bustling around to get Luka out, even he left his x-wing, watching everything. When she didn't appear from the cockpit, Wedge rushed forward, heart hammering against his chest, and leapt up the ladder, shoving past the alarmed crew, and manually yanked open the fractured canopy.
But there she was, bloody, tired and wonderfully alive.
" Hey Wedge," Luka smiled faintly at him through her smudged, ash-coated eyeshield. She tried to raise a hand in greeting but her burned and bleeding arm hung limply, cradled to her chest. There was a deep crack against her helmet and he could see a nasty gash across her forehead, smearing blood into her hair.
Injuries like that could be taken care of and healed from. There was more pressing things to deal with.
Without another word, he took off her helmet and roughly cast it aside to the floor. Before she could voice her surprise, he was already kissing her.
Dimly, he could hear Tycho whistling in approval and somewhere behind him, there was Hobbie and Jansen squabbling over how certain people now owed them credits. There was an uproar of hoots and hollers but all his attention was focused on only one person.
After he pulled away, Luka blinked, once, twice, before finally managing to speak. " That's one hell of a way to say thank you," she said, breathless and composed all at once.
Wedge grinned. And he bent down to kiss her again.
~.~.~
It was widely known in Jabba's palace that newcomer Tamtel Skreej had an exotic taste for women that he often brought to his room, almost several nights in a row for the past few weeks.
The others enjoyed ridiculing and mocking him for it, saying he had as much delight in those kinds of women like Jabba, which must be the reason why he adoringly submitted himself to Jabba's service. To which the solemn Tamtel would smile and tell them that it was each man to his own.
Little did they know Tamtel's "women" was actually only one woman and it happened to be Luka Skywalker, one of the last Jedi in the galaxy.
" Do we have to meet like this?" Luka muttered one particular night, cloaked in black as she tucked Lando's map of Jabba's palace into her sleeve.
Lando grinned at her. " How else will a man like me get some alone time?" he asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
She turned crimson and it made his grin widen more. It was too much fun to tease Luka Skywalker who despite her declarations as a Jedi knight remained very much a farm girl in her heart and continued to be hopelessly innocent and demure about certain aspects of life.
He could hardly believe this was the same girl he rescued from Cloud City. With her eyes empty and right hand missing, she resembled more of a ghost than a living person. Even in their official meeting in her hospital bed where he revealed his intentions to go after Boba Fett, she looked too pale and distracted, mind laden with things only she knew.
But with each secret correspondence, he got to know the real Luka and it never failed to bring a smile to his face when he noticed he received a new message from her.
Long weeks spent in the grasp of gangsters and mobsters was nearly unbearable and too easy to lose a sense of himself. The thought of rescuing Han fuelled his determination to continue with this mission. But it was Luka who made those hellish nights bearable.
She was his only link to the outside world, a constant reminder of what he fought for. Her messages for him (only for him) were brief and concise but he could feel her wry sense of humor laced around the edges and underlining her words with optimism and hope.
Somehow, in her own quiet and steady way, Luka Skywalker made him want to live.
And once he found out that Luka had returned to Tatoonie herself to finish planning Han's rescue, he couldn't help but start smiling stupidly for days, warmth curling in his chest and soothing his frayed nerves.
There was a shuffle of footsteps and drunken sniggers that interrupted his thoughts and panic jolted through him when he realized what was about to happen.
" Kiss me now!" Lando hissed while he unceremoniously grabbed Luka without waiting to hear her answer and pressed his lips hard over hers, dragging her down onto the bed with her, pressing his body against hers.
Luka was frozen in his arms as the door slammed open and a cluster of "Tamtel"'s associates were standing at the doorway, cackling madly at catching their fellow compatriot in the act.
One of them sneered what a poor pretty thing she must have been to sell herself for a night with him. Another one loudly laughed and he wouldn't mind borrowing her for a night to himself.
Next to him, Lando could feel Luka burning with mortification and something akin to protectiveness and fury rose in his chest, roaring like a beast. He broke apart from her and snarled something in Huttese, harsh and savage, spitting out the words like poison.
The gangsters guffawed louder before finally retreating and leaving who they thought to be lovers alone.
Lando sighed, his previous boiling rage simmering down, and at last (and reluctantly), he untangled his legs that had curled underneath Luka's. " That was too close," he murmured and she nodded in agreement, cheeks still aflamed.
" I thought we were done for," she agreed.
" Me too."
" What did you tell them to make them back off?"
Now it was his turn to flush with embarrassment. His gaze drifted to the blank wall instead. Did he mention how absolutely fascinating the bedpost was looking at the moment?
There was a slight decline on the bed and he could feel Luka shifting towards him. He didn't need to have knowledge of Jedi to know that she was sensing his thoughts, watching and waiting to see what he would do next.
He cleared his throat. " Sorry about the kiss," he sheepishly said instead. " Had to make it look real."
A little smirk graced Luka's features, her subtly devious side showing herself and it brought a shiver of excitement down his spine. " That was a little too real, don't you think?" she remarked pointedly, leaning a little closer, almost tempting him.
No point trying to hide how much he'd enjoyed kissing her. And what he would do to continue it. " Another one for luck then?" he innocently asked, barely baiting her back.
Luka laughed – wasn't that the sweetest thing he had ever heard? – and happily obliged his request.
~.~.~
This was what Boba Fett lived for – his heart pounding against his chest, blood rushing to his head, sweat clinging to the back of his neck. It had been a long time since he had such exhilaration and enjoyment at capturing and eluding a target.
And it had been a long time since he had a worthy opponent. And he could hardly complain when his opponent was none other than a Jedi.
Luka Skywalker was determined and cunning and with the power of the Force behind her, she chased after him to retrieve her friend and in turn, he chased her for the bounty placed by the Empire. It was a never-ending cat and mouse game, between the two of them with their roles switching depending on the game.
There had been close calls for both of them, when Fett cornered her in the deep jungles and it would appear that the Rogue Squadron was too late to rescue their friend or that time she followed him through the maze of streets and would have caught up to him if not for a timely arrival of stormtroopers.
Part of him reasoned it was not Skywalker that he was obsessed with but the addictive need to feel that thrill of the chase.
But sometimes during the nights, he dreamed of her standing before him, golden hair wild and eyes blazing intensely, like a vengeful goddess ready to destroy every inch of him. And wouldn't that be something beautiful?
He would not mind submitting to Luka Skywalker.
Why else would be allow himself to seconds late when she was within reach or aim to miss his target when he could have taken her down? Because if the Empire or anyone else claimed her, the game would be ended and he would have nothing left. No, he would let Skywalker live and escape for another day.
Which was why Fett found himself heading towards the cells to see Skywalker.
The guards let him passed and Han Solo and Skywalker looked up at him. She was dressed entirely in black cloth that hugged around her body. He would be lying if he didn't admit he was slightly disappointed that Jabba didn't deck her in one of his elaborate dancer outfits where it would reveal her creamy skin and slender frame like he did with the Princess.
" Boba Fett," she said his name with quiet coolness and he took the time to admire how the frosty gleam in her eyes became more pronounced in the dark.
" Luka Skywalker," he acknowledged. " Looks like you overestimated yourself this time."
" So it would seem," she evenly said.
Chains shifted and clacked. " Listen here, you sorry excuse of a tin can," Solo snarled, scowling blindly somewhere to his right. " If you think you can get away even harming even a single hair on her head, I'm going to rip out your intestines and –"
" Han." It only took one word from her to subdue him.
Fett's mouth curled in amusement. It was endearing how protective Solo was over her. He didn't see Skywalker deftly speaking to Jabba or how she killed the Rancor.
" Confident of yourself, aren't you?" he chose to say instead, ignoring Solo's muttered curses. " I wonder how you will get out of this."
" Asking you nicely?" Skywalker innocently asked.
He would have chuckled if Solo and the guards weren't there. Skywalker always had a special talent in surprising him when he least expected it. One of the many things he liked about her. " What would happen if that worked?" he prompted, leaning forward.
Skywalker blinked. It was not the answer she had been anticipating. He grinned beneath his helmet. He still had a few tricks up his sleeve to take her off guard. " I would express my gratitude," she slowly said. " And offer you to join us. But you are not a man who would do something without a price."
An insatiable hunger pumped through his veins. " You know what my price is," he lowered his voice for her ears only. He was close to her now, close enough to brush her strands of hair from her face.
Wariness and trepidation reflected in her eyes as she retreated to the wall. His hand casually leaned against the wall, cornering her. His free hand reached to lift his helmet. He had not shown his face to a living soul in years but it seemed oddly right that she should see the real him. His helmet hissed in the dark as he pulled it off, shaking his unruly, short-cropped hair.
Her lips parted but Skywalker made no sound. He was pleased to note that there was a wonder and amazement in her eyes, as if she didn't realize he was far more human than expected.
Something inexplicable came over him and the few inches between them was sealed with a kiss.
Her protest was cut off and she tensed under his touch. He pressed harder, cradling her head to deepen the kiss and then to his delight, she responded, hesitantly leaning into his arms that had found its way around her waist.
Her back hitting the wall, his arms never released its hold, his fingers tracing the curve of her spine. His mouth found her jaw and neck and it was insatiably intoxicating, overwhelming his senses, while she had only a moment to gasp for air before he demanded more kisses from her.
" Luka!" Solo's voice startled both of them, causing them to break apart. They'd forgotten he was there. " What happened? Are you all right?"
Unable to answer, she could only stare at him, breaths coming in sharp heaves, eyes impossibly wide, lips swollen and bruised.
" Remember." His breathing too became quick-paced and he was almost dizzy with rapture. His voice was a whisper to her ear. " You are mine."
He left Solo to his swearing and Skywalker to her trembling, regretfully wearing his helmet again and he was aware how his body craved to take her in his arms once again.
~.~.~
He found her standing alone in the balconies, staring off in the distance.
" What's the matter?" he asked, casually shoving his hands into his pockets against the night air, trying to ignore the trickle of dread he had felt once Luka turned towards him.
Her solemn expression was one that Han didn't expect to see. If someone had told him six months ago that the hopelessly optimistic and vibrant Luka Skywalker was capable of such a look on her face, he wouldn't have believe them. She was no longer the sweet, wide-eyed farm girl that he had known before. This was a woman who had endured loss and despair and came out stronger.
" I have to leave," she finally said. " Vader is here on this moon. And he knows I'm here."
Sometimes Han really cursed his intuition. " All right. We'll think of something to get you out of here. We always do."
" It's not that simple. Vader is –" Luka broke off.
For the umpteenth time, Han wished to get his hands around Vader's neck for doing this to Luka. For taking her hand and for all the pain she must have gone through. He only got the barest of details from Chewie and Leia and Luka herself kept quiet about what happened that day on Bespin but it was enough to trigger all his buttons that someone close to him was hurt.
And that this was Luka who was involved.
This was the girl who against impossible odds persuaded him to participate in a jail break on the Death Star. The same girl who managed to get him to stay with the Rebellion and find hope for the first time in his life. The same girl who convince him to go out in the Hoth storm for the slim chance that she was alive and she wasn't even physically present to challenge him.
When Han was with Leia, she made his fire burn alternating between hot and cold and part of the fun was seeing which climate he would be in today. But with Luka, she drew him in like a moth to a flame and warmed every inch of his skin, letting the heat flow over him and make him never want to leave her presence.
" I won't let him hurt you." His statement was bold – after all, this was the man who had him tortured and could have easily killed him with a flick of his wrist – but Han meant it. He wouldn't let Vader come near Luka without going through his dead body first.
Luka shot him an alarmed look and once again, he was reminded that Luka was able to easily read his emotions and thoughts like an open book and it was one of the downsides of knowing a Jedi. " It won't come to that," she hastily said once she regained her composure. Han grinned to himself. Ruffling Leia was a common way to pass time but ruffling Luka came as easy as breathing.
" No, there's more. I – I have to tell you." She hesitated and Han bitterly hated Vader for making Luka hide things from him.
" What is it?" he prompted.
She took a deep breath. " Vader ... he is my father."
Whatever it was he had expected, it wasn't this. " Your father?" Han repeated incredulously, hoping this was some sort of joke.
" That's why I have to go to him. There – there's good in him. I know there is. I have to try."
" Don't." The words spilled out of his mouth, harsh and furious. " He will kill you first if he doesn't turn you over to the Emperor."
" He won't." Luka sounded so sure and trusting of the monster she claimed to be her father. " He will listen to me."
Han desperately wished that Leia was here with him because she was the diplomat, not him. She would know how to talk Luka out of this and bring her back to her senses. And yet, a part of him quietly conceded because once Luka made up her mind, she was determined to see it through to the end.
" Be careful," he said instead, trying to squash his suffocating dread.
" Thank you Han." She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. " I knew you would understand. Give Leia my regards."
And like that, she started to walk away and something overwhelming started wrapping around Han's throat because it couldn't end like this. He won't let it end like this.
" Luka."
He said her name like a fervent prayer and it was enough to make her stop and turn around. But she didn't get a chance to renew the reasons she needed to leave because in a few spanning steps, Han already crossed the distance between them and pulled her into a kiss.
For a first kiss, it was tentative and chaste, almost done with reservation and hesitation because neither side knew what the other want. But it wasn't long before the second and third and fourth kisses became more intense and all consuming, no longer restrained.
Her arms lifted up around his neck and his hands rested on her hips. One of her hands snaked its way over his neck, cupping it to bring it closer to her. She was warm like the summer sun under his touch and he loved how just like that she was able to heat every inch of his skin.
But the impeding circumstances lingered in the back of their minds and soon, their kisses were laced with desperation and want, an urgent need to remain frozen in time to lengthen these last seconds together.
When they finally broke apart, they both gasped to breathe, fingers and arms intertwined as if they would loathed to be apart.
" I love you." The words just came, rushed and jumbled. His heart reached his mouth before his brain did and even Han was stunned by how his own mouth betrayed him.
But Luka's eyes were filled with warmth and happiness that he (almost) regretted saying those words because what would happen next.
" I know."
She said those two little words (his heart thought it might burst with joy) and she slowly extricated herself reluctantly from his arms and stepped back away from him, a small sad smile playing around her mouth as both of them knew it was time for her to depart.
Her blue eyes never left his.
He wanted to say something else, do anything, to make her stay even if it was just a minute longer, to kiss her again and let her remain in his arms as if the world was right and perfect, but words wouldn't leave his throat and his hands could only clench and unclench uselessly at his side.
She gave him one final smile, just for him, and he selfishly clung to that image.
And just like that, she was gone, vanishing into the night.
Only a ghost of her lips remained.