A week had passed since Will left, and Halt didn't know what he was waiting for.

Maybe for a word about what his old apprentice was doing? Maybe a letter. Maybe he was waiting for himself to get over what happened, or for the whole thing to blow over.

During this week of silence he tried his best not to think about it; the more he told himself it was going to turn out alright, the more it felt like he was overreacting. Best case scenario, it would all go away quickly enough so they wouldn't have to talk about it at all. Forget it even going in Halt's favor- it was best to just leave it alone.

After a week it felt like they were going to ignore it, but just as Halt got his hopes up, a letter arrived at his cabin from none other than his ex-apprentice Will Treaty.

What kind of hell had Halt unleashed with that one, spontaneous mistake? He threw the letter down angrily on the dining table and walked away.

For a while he managed to steer his mind away from the problem and keep himself busy, just until the end of the night. He knew he would have to open the letter by then, because if he didn't it would only complicate things more. And Halt wasn't the kind of person to run from his problems, anyway… but this was a rare case and it wasn't the end of the night yet.

The sun went down to let the stars take its place. Tiny diamonds sparkled over and conquered the dim night sky, glittering like the sun hit them just right.

For the rest of the evening Halt kept himself occupied, replacing the wood in the fireplace, feeding Abelard, and cleaning anything up that didn't take too much work to fix. Then he was hungry enough to eat dinner, but he couldn't do that with the letter staring at him on the other side of the table. He could feel Will watching him and glaring at him from inside the envelope. Or was that himself? He threw it on the couch and kept eating.

He still wasn't tired after dinner, so he polished his knives for the next morning and sharpened the ends of his arrows. Anything to keep himself busy. Anything to keep from thinking about that. It didn't work so well when Halt tried to distract himself by doing other things, because all he did was get work done while having massive anxiety.

Will had always spent at least a few minutes outside, on the porch or laying on the grass, looking up at the stars, fascinated by how beautiful the forest was at night.

Halt figured he'd get over it quickly. All apprentices went through this phase as kids, and then they got used to it, just like Halt did. Will never got used to it. He loved it more every night. He made it a habit every night to spend some time outside before he went to bed, and Halt knew that habit was going to follow him for the rest of his life. He was probably looking at the sky now. Maybe that was why his eyes sparkled so brightly.

It was twice as dark outside now. Halt sat down on the couch, across from the crackling fire, the letter in his hand. There was nothing more to distract him now but sleep, and he wasn't tired. He knew he wouldn't be able to go to sleep if he tried… He had to open this, if only to get it over with.

Halt tore open the flap as carefully as he could, trying not to rip the paper inside. There was just one piece of paper, addressed to him at the top and signed at the bottom. The body of the letter took up most of the page, so Will had a lot to say to him.

But of course he would.

Halt began reading:

Halt,

I'm sure you're surprised to be hearing from me, and, frankly, I'm just as surprised to be writing. How have you been since I left? Lonely? Distraught? I bet you have.

Halt sighed. He could just hear the sarcasm in Will's voice shouting at him through the paper.

I was going to write, even if that thing didn't happen when I left, but I had to spend a week getting used to my fief first. Things are so quiet here; a lot different from Redmount. I'm not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed. Seacliff is such a quiet fief that everybody has practically forgotten all their responsibilities. Don't tell anybody I said this, but the Baron and Battlemaster are so lazy and irresponsible I'm starting to forget this is an actual fief. But excuse me for having proper training.

Other than that, everybody here is nice enough. Kind of. They're either afraid of me or respect me like I'm a threat to them. I always knew that people were afraid of rangers… and I saw firsthand that everybody was afraid of you, but I guess I assumed that was because you were intimidating as a person, and not because you were a ranger. Apparently it doesn't work that way.

All these words sounded just like Will. They were jumping out at Halt in all kinds of colors that looked like him: blue, green, white; following the sound of his voice that Halt knew as well as his own. He didn't have to strain to hear it, and Halt hoped he would never have to.

I got a dog.

His eyebrows raised. A dog? Halt told him more than once as an apprentice that rangers didn't have time for pets.

Yes, a dog, because my cabin, my rules.

Ah.

I found her on my way there, beaten and abandoned by (I suspect) a horrible excuse for a man named John Buttle. If I ever have the chance to convict him of his crimes, I swear I'll make him wish he was never born first. I don't understand how people could be so cruel to animals who have done absolutely nothing wrong.

I could go on and on about this, but, you know…

She needs me, and it's not too hard to take care of her. Who says rangers don't have time for pets? You liar.

Halt hadn't been lying.

Plus, the writing was getting much messier now. Will had given up on making it neat about two-thirds through the letter.

I'm training her right now, and she gets along really well with Tug. She's too cute… she's sleeping by my feet as I'm writing this. I'll bring her to the next Gathering so you and everybody else can meet her.

But you know the real reason I'm writing, don't you?

The room seemed to grow darker when Halt read those nauseating words. His stomach turned like someone had punched him in the gut.

I have to bring it up. I'm not sorry about that, but I don't have much to say, really. It happened, and I have to acknowledge that it did. I can't ignore it.

Why? I just want to know why. I'm pretty sure there's just one answer to that question, but I have to hear it from you. Don't lie to me and tell me 'it was a spur of the moment thing' or 'I don't know'. Tell me the truth.

Why did you kiss me, Halt?

If they had been talking, Halt wouldn't have been able to give him an answer.

I'm not angry at you, I'm just really confused. I have so many questions, please respond.

Your Confused Fellow Ranger,

Will

Halt admitted he was confused as to why Will wasn't angry at him. He had plenty of reasons to be.

Halt was supposed to give him a normal send off. It was going to be nice, and sweet- Halt would give him some last minute advice, tell him "you can do it!" probably less enthusiastically; maybe give him a hug or at least a pat on the back. Like a good father figure.

But no, instead he gave in to the temptation that had been eating away at him for the past year, and he kissed him.

The moment felt right. Halt couldn't explain how it did, but Will was looking him in the eyes, their faces were within that distance, and the urge to embrace him was so overwhelming that Halt did it before his common sense could kick in. He kissed him. It was a good idea at the time…

It didn't feel as great as Halt thought it would. It was better. If Halt wasn't so sure he was so completely, irrationally, hopelessly in love with Will… well, he was definitely sure now.

And Will never pushed him away in disgust, but he never kissed back. When Halt pulled away, all the blood had rushed to Will's face and he was gaping at him; mouth open and speechless. He couldn't breathe. Halt had stolen every inch of air from his lungs.

When Halt pulled away, he wanted to tell Will how long he'd wanted to be this close to him. He wanted to tell him how complete he felt when he touched him like that. Or he could've leaned in and kissed him again, giving Will a chance to either push him away and yell at him, or kiss back. At least if Will had yelled at him, Halt could've felt better knowing he'd gotten what he deserved.

But no. Halt's mouth went dry, and he couldn't think of a word to say. It ended just like that.

Maybe if he'd said those things it would've been a little different, but he left Will without an explanation. Which explained why Will was so confused. Halt just kissed him, with no confession and no apology. The only thing he did was back away and let him leave.

He wished Will had yelled at him.

Five Days Later

Every morning, Will felt the nearly overwhelming temptation to sleep in. Who was there to tell him not to?

Luckily, the past five years had taught him more than just how to fire a bow and arrow. It also gave him extraordinary self-control. If nothing else, he could persuade himself with the knowledge that if he slept in, he'd feel awful for it later and get behind on his work. So every day he woke up at the same time.

The majority of Seacliff started waking up after Will had already been at it for a few hours. As he was getting around to his morning round of paperwork, he heard a knock on the door. He wasn't too surprised. Ivan usually came around this time.

Will opened the door and there he was.

"Good morning, Ranger Will," Ivan greeted, without a hint of uneasiness in his voice. Ivan was one of the few people in Seacliff that respected him, but didn't fear him.

The ranger gave him the same friendly smile. "Good morning. Got anything today?" he asked.

"Yeah, um…" Ivan dug around in his bag for something, "a letter from Halt O'Carrick. Ranger Halt from Redmount."

Will's face lit up. Finally, he thought, and some tension he'd been holding released. He snatched the letter from Ivan, opening it as soon as it was in his hand. "Well about damn time," he muttered. "It's been a week."

"We can always put a rush on the next letter… maybe your first one didn't reach him in time." Ivan remembered clearly how serious Will had gotten when he gave Ivan the first letter to send to Halt. Will wasn't usually that serious.

"Depends," Will said. "I'll let you know." He was keeping his mind open to the possibility that Halt just replied to him to say 'I don't want to talk about it'. And what could Will say then? 'No'? He had to respect that, but he was hoping it wouldn't come to it. "Anything else?" he asked.

"No, that's it."

"Then could you give the Battlemaster message for me?" he said.

"Of course."

"Tell him his report on the knights' progress is late." Will sighed. "He was supposed to send it yesterday, but I guess he forgot."

"Okay, I will…" Ivan said.

Will waited, even after he agreed, because the doubtful look on Ivan's face said there was a problem. The ranger raised one eyebrow accusingly.

Ivan shrunk under his gaze and answered, "Well, do you think the Battlemaster will listen to me?"

"If you tell him it's from me, then yes. Most likely. And if he says otherwise, let me know and I'll knock some sense into him," Will replied. Ivan smiled, and left quickly after that to take care of it.

Will couldn't- and wasn't going to- wait very long to open the letter, but he managed to calm himself down just enough beforehand. He didn't want to expect too much. If he didn't get his hopes up, he couldn't be disappointed (another Halt wisdom).

He barely got inside the cabin and closed the door before giving his attention down to the letter. It was definitely Halt's handwriting. He smiled because he recognized it, but he'd only seen it a handful of times. It wasn't that he recognized the style, it was that it looked like Halt, and it looked like his voice.

Will,

He could feel his heart fluttering in his chest when he read his name.

Good that you're doing well. It's hard adjusting at the beginning, but that's only the first week. You'll get used to it.

Is getting a dog payback for that one time you found a stray dog and I said you couldn't keep it? I still stand by that. Rangers don't have time for pets, and the only reason you do is because Seacliff is the level zero fief.

Do whatever you want with the dog. She's your responsibility, but when you move to a new fief, don't be surprised if it gets harder to take care of her.

Will chuckled. Rude.

Lonely? Distraught? Hilarious. Yes, I cried tears of blood after you left, Will.

As for your question… you already know the answer. If you need it in writing, here it is: I like you, and I made the mistake of showing it. It was completely on impulse; I never intended to tell you.

I'm sorry it had to go like that. Don't tell anyone I said this, you know how horribly that would end. It's just a mistake, so let's not make a big deal out of this.

Your Apologetic Ex-Mentor,

Halt

Will burst out laughing. He was also kind of pissed off, but it was hilarious, and he didn't know exactly why. Halt was being way too casual about this. "Let's not make a big deal out of this"?

That was the one thing Will was incapable of doing.

Will didn't pretend that his heart didn't jerk in his chest when he read "I like you", even when Halt said it so lamely. Had he not expected that? In writing Halt couldn't pause, mumble, or avoid the subject so he wouldn't have to answer him. Halt liked him.

And then he apologized. A lot.

Will couldn't wait to write him back that night, so he got to work right away.

Apologetic Ex-Mentor,

You should have more faith in me. I can definitely take care of a dog and be a ranger, just like I can take care of Tug. The reason you don't want animals is because dogs are too needy. You should get a cat. A cat will hate you just as much as you hate it.

You're a lot like a cat, Halt. You want affection one minute then to be ignored forever… You spend most of your time alone, or wanting to be alone, pretending you don't give a shit about anything. Why don't you get a cat?

Back to the real issue here, don't be sorry. I definitely won't tell anybody- I wouldn't even if I was angry at you. And why should I be angry at you? Because you were my mentor? Because you were like a father to me? Because you're a few decades older than me? Because you're a guy? Or maybe all of the above…

Anyway, I'm not. It just doesn't seem to bother me. Call me messed up, or whatever you want, but we have to talk about it. I don't care whether you're a guy or not, and I know you so well that I don't think about how old you are anymore. I'm not a kid, and you're not my father. Definitely not now.

I'm not sure how I felt about it… I've been trying to figure that out, but it's hard to when I don't have hardly anything to compare it to, and I wasn't thinking about how it felt when you kissed me. I wasn't think about whether I liked it or not. I was thinking 'what the hell is he doing?'.

Maybe I could describe it better if you kissed me again. Or if I kissed you, because I have to return it, don't I? I don't have to, but I want to. That's what I've been thinking about.

I'm just saying.

Your (Very Thoughtful) Ranger,

Will

Halt's cheeks flushed with color when he read that. He read those few lines over again, just to make sure he read that correctly, but it said exactly what he'd thought. Was Will offering to kiss him?

Well… Halt thought. Two can play at that game.

As soon as he said those words, it all began.

And Halt almost regretted giving in, because for a short while, everything felt okay when deep down, he knew that none of this was ever okay.

But he did it anyway.

Will,

You should phrase that differently, because right now it sounds like you're offering to kiss me. Incredible. I thought you'd have learned from my mistakes.

My logic is: why should we talk about something that's just going to make things worse? We don't have to complicate it further than it already is. We should just leave well enough alone.

And for the last time, I'm not getting a cat. I already have a pet. I don't need a cat.

Your Skeptical Ex-Mentor,

Halt

Gilan happened to be visiting when Will got the "are you offering to kiss me" letter, and Will didn't wait until he left to open it. Gilan was sitting at the dining table, and Will was nearby but across the room on the couch. They had enough space between them that Will could read something private without him seeing.

"What's that?" Gilan asked. He wouldn't have mentioned it, had Will not been so obvious.

"Nothing." Will didn't take his eyes away from the letter. "Just something from the Baron."

"What did the Baron say to you that makes you grin like that?"

"I'm not grinning," he said, grinning. "Also it's none of your business."

Gilan tsked three times. "Secrets, secrets…" But to his credit, he didn't push it any farther.

Will began his next letter that same night. He almost felt sorry for the mail boy(s) running these back and forth between Seacliff and Araluen, but some sacrifices had to be made in order for the two Rangers to flirt via letter…

It took place over the course of roughly a month:

Hypocritical Ranger,

I said exactly what I meant, but what's really incredible is the guy who just confessed his love to me is calling me out for flirting. I don't want to leave it alone, and I don't think you do either.

Don't tell me you want me to stop… Or are you gonna come shut me up?

Yours Truly,

Will

PS. Get a cat, Halt.

PPS. Since when did our letters get so short?

Audacious Ranger,

I never said love. I clearly remember writing "like". You should read your letters more carefully, it comes in handy as a ranger.

In these past five years I don't remember ever training you to do these things… things like "come me shut up", "I don't think you want me to stop" and admitting you're flirting out loud. How did this happen, and where did it come from? I've officially failed as a mentor.

Your Fellow Associate Who Is Not Getting A Cat,

Halt

PS. I never said I wanted you to stop.

"Fellow Associate",

You never said love, but it was implied. I think you were too shy to say the word, just like you haven't said anything outside of those "PS"s.

And I'm not sure how this happened, to be honest. I sudden regret not doing anything that day you kissed me, after you pulled away and we stared awkwardly at each other for a few seconds. I could see the exact moment the light left your eyes as you realized what you did; it was amazing. And kind of pretty.

Your Friend Who Really Thinks You Should Get A Cat,

Will

PS. I can't wait for somebody to intercept this letter and end both of our lives.

Respected Colleague,

First of all, I don't like the word 'shy'. It's a weak word… I also don't like being called pretty- how am I pretty? I am many things, but not "pretty". There are other ways you can call me attractive, you know.

But could I count that "I wish I'd done more" as a confession?

Secondly, I agree with you, that I should've done more after that kiss, too. Next time I will. I don't make mistakes twice... and if things continue like this I might just have to take you up on that offer to "make you shut up".

Was that a PS?

Your No Longer Apologetic Ex-Mentor,

Halt

No Longer Apologetic Ex-Mentor,

Okay, I won't say "shy". I'll say timid. And if you're going to "make me shut up" then I guess I better keep talking.

I'm glad you're letting down your guard. I was getting worried… but I guess for my first try at this, I got it through your head pretty quickly. (I'm trying my best here.) I bet you're blushing as you're reading this right now.

Gilan found out we're writing each other. I didn't tell him anything, don't worry, just that we're talking. He's angry because you never wrote him when he became a ranger. He should be sending you a letter some time.

By the way, he says hi.

Your Wonderful Best Friend,

Will

Mediocre Best Friend,

Why are you with Gilan? How do you have the time? I feel like my two apprentices are conspiring against me. It's like having two ex's becoming friends because of how much they hate me.

If Gilan's still there, tell him I said hi back. I got his letter.. Suddenly I regret getting mixed up in all of this.

But you never answered my question. I asked if that "I wish I'd done more" was a confession. Was it?

Your (Feeling Betrayed) Ex-Mentor,

Halt

PS. As to the "I bet you're blushing right now", I never blush. I make other people blush. Like you. Just wait, I'll show you.

Will couldn't deny he could feel his face growing warm when he read those words. He was ecstatic. Halt was dropping his guard now, he could feel it. "I'll show you"? He was looking forward to it.

Will was ready to respond the next day, but for the first time since he graduated, his ranger duties actually got in the way of his personal life. It was a rite of passage.

It had been almost two months since Halt kissed him, and a day after Will got the last letter. Skandians showed up to raid Seacliff and Will stopped them, but then had to go to the Gathering grounds to meet Crowley.

Halt heard about it in Araluen, so he excused Will from getting back to him, at least for a while.

He'd waited long enough; he could wait a little more.

Halt was in his office in Castle Araluen when he heard a knock at his door. He was almost done with his paperwork, and desperately hoped that whoever was at the door wasn't there to give him more. The sun was still up, and at this pace he could make it back to his cabin before dark.

If his headache ever went away.

"Come in," Halt said, and the door opened. It was Crowley.

"Hey, Halt," Crowley greeted, stepping in.

Halt was confused at first as to why Crowley was here, then he remembered in a flash. Will. The mission. He pushed his chair away from his desk and faced the commandant, attention captured. "Crowley," he replied. "Everything went well?"

"Perfectly. And I've got…" Crowley paused, taking a look around the room. "It's dark in here."

"I'll give you a hint- I closed the curtains."

"Why?" Crowley ignored his sarcasm. "Let in a little light; it helps with work."

Halt sighed, not bothering to watch Crowley as he walked across the room to open the curtains. No matter how busy Crowley was, it seemed like he always had time to get on Halt's case about stuff like this. "Did you come in here just to badger me about the windows?" he asked.

"That's not all of the reason. You've got mail." Crowley turned briefly to take a letter out of his pocket and toss it to Halt. It was a clean throw, received with a clean catch.

Before Halt saw the handwriting, he knew it was from Will. It had to be, and he was right.

"It's from Will. He told me to give it to you when I got back, with strict orders not to open it." Crowley crossed the floor and opened the next window.

Well thank god, Halt thought. There was no tear on the outside, so Crowley hadn't messed with it. Halt made a move to open it, then figured he shouldn't, with somebody else here.

Distracting him from his thoughts again, the commandant said, "Keep the windows open. It's good for your skin."

Halt raised a skeptical eyebrow. "My skin?" he repeated.

"It's scientifically proven that the more light you get, the more healthy your skin is." Crowley smirked at him like he knew lots of things Halt didn't.

"Well that's great. Too bad I don't get nearly enough sun as a ranger."

"Touche."

Crowley looked like he was about done bothering him, but just as he walked to the front door and put one hand on the doorknob, he turned and looked at Halt more seriously than he had before. He looked like he'd decided not to say this before, but now he was giving it second thoughts.

"You should've gone with me," Crowley said, in a sadder tone. "Will was disappointed you weren't here."

"I was busy," Halt reminded him curtly.

"I know, I'm just saying. He's gonna do great on this job."

Halt nodded, and Crowley somehow thought that was an adequate response.

He winked, then walked out of the open door into the hallway. "Remember! Skin!" he called behind him.

"You're the only one who cares about it!" Halt said. He wasn't sure if Crowley had heard him; he shut the door near the end of that sentence.

As soon as Crowley was gone, Halt tore open the letter. This was a long one.

It said:

Halt,

I trust Crowley hasn't opened this, and if Crowley is reading this… stop. Now. Don't be rude.

Things have picked up again. The Skandians tried to raid Seacliff, but I talked it out with them and instead of stealing everything we own, they came to dinner and had a fun time. War is so overrated, you know.

What a classic ranger move.

Crowley told me he invited you to come with him… why'd you turn it down?

I'll say it out loud (or, in writing): I wanted to talk about this in person. If you don't want to yet, I guess that's okay, but we'll still see each other at the next Gathering. That is, if I don't come see you first.

Or are you still too busy apologizing?

Halt didn't respond, even in his head. But he sat there for a few second, staring at that line, wondering why Will chose those words.

I have a mission, now, and I don't know how long it'll last. I don't know exactly where I'll be staying, so I think it's safe to put all this on hold until I'm done. I'm sure you'll hear when I come back to Seacliff. Just write me then.

I just have one question: What do you want to happen?

To answer your last question, whether that was a confession or not… Even if I knew, I wouldn't tell you. I have to keep you on your toes somehow, and I don't want you to change your mind while I'm gone.

So what do you want to happen? Think about it.

Until then.

Your To-Be-Decided,

Will

PS. You should really get a cat.

Halt sighed. He put the letter down on his desk, and leaned back in his office chair. So that was it, was it?

Halt was suddenly conscious of how big the room was, and how quiet it was. Time was moving slower already; he could feel it creeping along under his feet, like it was ignoring him and torturing him at the same time. This gave him plenty of time to think about this. What did he want?

And time passed, as time usually does.

Then in that silence, everything that Halt had felt growing over the past few months died.