Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor Rocky Horror Picture Show. If you recognize it, it is not mine and I do not make a cent off any of this.
Warnings: Rated M for language and eventual adult situations. No triggers as of yet but if that changes I will let you all know.
BETA LOVE: oblivion . baby and claireabellalou. They are amazing and I am so tremendously grateful for them.
A/N: I saw a tumblr post a long time ago about what would happen if Sirius went to Rocky Horror and how into it he would probably be. So... with that a story was born and this is me getting it out of my head. I wanted to read it and since I searched and couldn't find it, I'm writing it. Updates will be monthly or less- I want to shoot for two weeks. All of that said, on with the show…
I see you shiver with antici…
...pation
Midnight Show
Chapter 1
Sirius fiddled with his leather jacket as he stood outside the bookstore with a cigarette pressed between his teeth, scowling at Remus through the bookstore window. The sleigh bells hooked over the store's front door chimed as the animagus extended his dragon skin boot between the door and its frame while comically extending the hand holding his cigarette in the opposite direction. "MOONY! Moo-hoo-Moooony! Would you bloody well wrap it up?! I'm hot. It's sweltering out here in this heat. They have the book or they don't. Let us leave! "
The werewolf exhaled and rolled his eyes. "For the love of Merlin, Padfoot. Go walk it off. Or shall I throw you a leash and collar? It's been 15 minutes. I haven't even found the sales assistant. If you are so impatient go walk around and meet me at the café across the street in an hour, eh?"
"You would love Merlin. Merlin's pants. Merlin's balls? Merlin's BALLS, Moony!" Black groaned.
"You can do better than that, and you know it. Go! I'll meet you at the café."
Sirius would have shifted into his Animagus form but thought better of it. He was smack dab in Muggle London, and the fur wouldn't be much cooler anyway. He muttered a wandless Cooling Charm and set off east to entertain his eyes and devoid his brain of boredom. After walking halfway down the street, he noticed shuffling in his peripheral vision across the street at a building; Lily had mentioned it the week before as being the cinema. Blasted witch. It was her who took Moony to that bloody bookstore to begin with, and now he had it in his head to hunt down first editions. This is not how he planned his summer after Hogwarts to go. At least not already. Not a week into summer hols. He grabbed another cigarette, lit it, and crossed.
When he got closer, he noticed a portrait to the left of the entrance. Red lips. Bold red letters dripping down it, but it wasn't moving. What's this? A girl rounding the corner, arms occupied with a large cumbersome box seeming to overflow with bright, colorful feathers and something shiny, came his way. "Oi! You with the hair! Get the door, would ya?" When he did, she plopped the box on the ground and sighed. "Ugh, my hands couldn't bear another minute. Thanks," she extended her hand, "Helen. I saw you eying the poster. Are you planning on gracing us deviants with your presence tonight? It's quite the wild ride." Sirius smirked as he shook her hand, and after introducing himself asked what exactly was happening tonight at this place. "Just show up at midnight. Bring a friend and a sense of adventure. You won't regret it. 'Give yourself over to absolute pleasure'," she sang the last line as she hoisted the box up and walked away from Sirius, further into the theater, winking over her shoulder as she looked back at him. "See you tonight, lovely locks."
The man was intrigued. What the hell was this? He had eight hours to find out. Eight hours to convince his friends to join him.
He made his way to the café, buzzing with anticipation. If Remus got to shove his head into a haystack of books all afternoon, he could bloody well accompany him to the show of Rocks and Horrors- or whatever it bloody well was- to satiate his curiosity.
"It wasn't all afternoon, you git. It was forty five minutes, you impatient child," his sandy haired colored friend rebutted.
"Listen, I have a good feeling about this. Let's rally Wormtail, Prongs, and good ol' lady red and hit the town tonight. C'mon! It's summer! We have to do something worthwhile, fun, and exciting, yeah?"
They weren't able to reach Peter by owl when they arrived at Potter manor for dinner, but seeing as James and Lily were already there, Sirius began pleading his case almost immediately. Remus owed him because he had wasted his entire afternoon being dragged to bookstore after bookstore. A total and utter exaggeration, the werewolf pointed out. Lily owed him for putting the idea in Remus' head to begin with, and James owed him because… well let's face it, James was coming to the show whether he liked it or not. He would hex Peter or brag about how much he missed out later. Lily Evans was quite aware of the film, but having not gone to see it yet she was curious. Knowing it would drive Black absolutely bonkers that she knew something he didn't, she kept her mouth shut on what few details she was aware of regarding the plot and what was to be expected.
They arrived fifteen minutes early, and Sirius bounced on the balls of his feet while they got tickets. Rock n' Roll music blasted from the speakers as they walked inside. This was people watching at its absolute finest. People were dressed in high heels, short skirts or shorts with fishnet stockings, corsets, and heavy makeup. People were wearing women's under clothes out in public. All people, men and women. It was glorious. Sirius could not wipe off the goofy grin off his face.
"Moony, do all Muggles dress like this? Lils, leather pants?! They make leather pants too? How dare you keep this information from me. This is vital information for my well being. My arse would be positively sublime in a pair of those," Sirius whined.
Remus sighed, annoyed, as Lily rolled her eyes at her friend's absurdity. "No, Sirius. Not all Muggles dress like this," they said said together, almost in harmony.
"Ew. It's so weird when-"
"-you two do that," Sirius started to say as James finished.
Lily laughed as she looped her arm through Remus' while he chuckled at the two other Marauders, and turned back to mock Potter and Black. "Yeah, because THAT isn't completely ridiculous and hypocritical. C'mon, Lupin let's go find good seats while these two try to figure out Muggle fashion without breaking their brains."
As they entered the seating area, Sirius recognized the woman from earlier in the day as she handed out little plastic bags of assorted things for a pound each. He smiled at Helen, and when he asked Lily for the Muggle money to buy it she curtly responded, "No." Instead, she bought just enough for herself, James, and Remus, and teasingly stuck her tongue out at her Animagus friend. Helen saw the interaction, tossed him a bag, and winked. He grinned, and looked back at Lily while he blew his tongue out at her in an epic raspberry as spittle flew in all directions from his mouth.
The small plastic bag was filled with what seemed to be nonsensical items. Sirius turned the bag around in his hands a couple of times as he studied it.
It contained: one piece of toast, a small scrap of newspaper, rice, some playing cards, a noise maker, a bell, a party hat, a water pistol, and most importantly a scrap of paper listing the contents making it easy for the dark haired wizard to figure out what some of the puzzling items were. Interesting. Why? What the hell do I do with all this?
After they found their seats, a man jumped on stage with a mic in hand. Everyone in the audience cheered loudly. "I thought you said this was a film? You know, the moving pictures the Muggles have without magic. Is this a play?" James whispered to Lily as the other men looked equally as perplexed. "It's both. Sort of. I think. Just watch and be quiet. I don't know either, Potter."
The man with the mic gave a few house rules, none of which really sounded like rules at all, and then instructed anyone who had never attended before to come up on stage. Sirius broke to a sprint. When he reached the stage he realized that in his excitement he didn't notice the other three hang back to take on the observer role. Instead, they were pretending they had been there before, staying glued to their seats, to avoid participating in the initiation games. "Prats," he mouthed as he climbed up on stage. Helen was there again, and she had a tube of bright red lipstick. She wrote a big "V" on his left cheek and smirked at him. "There you go, virgin. Having fun yet?" Sirius glanced at her, "As a matter of fact, I am having a very grand adventure, thank YOU very much. And I haven't been called that in quite some time," he said smoothly as he winked at her.
He had to participate in a pre-show game in which all the 'virgins' had to pass a piece of chocolate from their mouths to the person next to them without dropping it, whilst avoiding the other person's lips, if they so chose. The blonde to his right didn't so choose and fluttered her eyelashes at him when they parted. He wouldn't complain; kissing random birds was not a novel thing for the wizard. As beautiful as she was and as fun as kissing a gorgeous stranger was, it didn't leave a spark or residual intrigue to do any more with it than offer the woman a wink and a smirk. It was all in good fun and not something he would be keen to pursue at any capacity. When it was Sirius' turn to pass the chocolate to the person to the left of him, he eyed the bloke over, and when he noticed how the man grimaced in pure uneasiness, the raven haired wizard decided to have a little fun and take advantage of the situation. Sirius moved in closer to pass the sweet into the other man's mouth - who's eyes were slammed shut, and mouth open just enough to take the small square of chocolate; he looked completely pained and miserable. Sirius smirked and opened his palm to catch the piece of chocolate as he dropped it from his mouth and crashed his lips onto the unsuspecting man's. The wizard parted from the gobsmacked stranger and took a bite out of the chocolate before placing it into the other man's gaped open mouth with his fingers. He didn't even find the man attractive, but he enjoyed making him squirm.
After what Remus later called 'that little display', it was time for the show. The music started, and one or two people started shouting. The lights dimmed and Sirius' eyes widened.
"Let there be lips," a twenty something bloke blurted loudly near them as the set of lips he saw on the portrait outside the theater earlier that day appeared on screen. Together, they sang the introduction.