CROSSING OF INGO SPOILERS!
I hope the lyrics are right, because I've had to do them from memory. Please review.
Song: Memories by Within Temptation
Love Sapphy
xxx
Memories
In this world you tried not leaving me alone behind,
There's no other way, I prayed to the Gods: "Let him stay".
The rocks are smooth and cold under my hands. I stare out to sea, perched on the top of the cliff, my dark hair blowing around my face. The soft hiss of the sea, the smelt of salt...all of them speak to me of Ingo. And Ingo reminds me of dad. My dad, who left us. I thought I'd hate him for that, like Conor once did. But I don't. I used to pray for him to come home, not to leave us alone. But I forgive him now. Because I know he didn't want to leave.
The memories ease the pain inside,
Now I know why
It hurts to know that he's not coming back. I close my eyes and think of all the things we did together. The Midsummer Bonfire, going fishing, roasting the fish over fires on the beach, going out in The Peggy Gordon, Dad showing me the photographs he'd taken. I remember how he laughed at the expression on my face when he told me he was going to set that picture of me into the dresser.
"Not one for the limelight, are you Saph?"
I find myself laughing, and immediately feel guilty. I shouldn't be able to laugh. Not when my father's dead. But remembering makes me feel better.
All of my memories keep you near;
In silent moments imagine you here.
I can remember his smile, the way his eyes crinkled around the corners, the way when he laughed, you couldn't help but to join in. I can remember the way the pub went silent whenever he began to sing. A good, strong voice, that's what they all said about him. Conor told me that I had a voice like dads. If my voice is even half as good as his I'll be happy.
All of my memories keep you near;
Your silent whispers, silent tears
It's funny, but when I think about him, it's almost like he's here with me. I remember mum once telling me that when my grandmother died, she felt her nearby, felt her touch her face like she used to when she was younger. And when I think about dad, I almost expect to see him sitting next to me.
Made me promise I'd try to find my way back in this life
I hope there is a way to give me a sign you're okay.
He'd want me to be happy. He'd want me to live my life. Whether in Ingo or on land. He'd just want me to be happy. I hope that if there is a heaven or whatever, he'd happy there. I know the mer go to Limina to die, but I don't know what happens afterwards. Do the mer have their own heaven? Or do they think life simply stops? I don't believe the latter. I can't.
Remind me again it's worth it all
So I can go on
Dad has taught me something. I can't let my life stop. I have to keep living. I saw what happened to mum when dad left us the first time. She shut down. I won't. I promise myself that. I will keep living for Dad.
All of my memories keep you near;
In silent moments imagine you here.
I can see how upset Conor is. He's taking Dad's death badly. Really badly. He feels guilty; guilty for hating Dad for so long. I think he feels that if he'd taken down Ervys then he wouldn't have killed Dad. That he could have stopped Dad dying. No one could have prevented it Conor. There was nothing you can do. I hope you know that.
All of my memories keep you near;
Your silent whispers, silent tears
I need to speak to Conor. I need him to stop him hating himself. I need him to know that Dad is still with us.
Together in all these memoires,
I see your smile
He's everywhere. I can see Dad whenever Conor smiles; they have the same lips. Every time I look in the mirror I can see his dark eyes looking back at me. Every time I sing I can hear the echo of his voice in mine. And echo of that rich, strong tenor in a clear soprano.
All the memories I hold dear,
Darling you know I'll love you 'till the end of time.
I'll treasure every moment of my life, every beat of my heart, every breath I take because I know that Dad helped give them to me. And I'll always love him for that, always love him for being there when I needed him, and, just maybe, I love him for being unable to let his other child grow up without a father.
All of my memories keep you near;
In silent moments imagine you here.
We're half of him. I am half Dad and half Mum. So is Conor. We are both two halves of two different people joined to make a new person. So how can Dad be gone? He will never be gone. He is half of me and half of Conor, and as long as we live then he is still here. And when we have children of our own, a part of Dad will live inside them too, and in their children, and in theirs. My maths teacher showed us a graph once. It was curved, two curving lines diagonally opposite to each other on either side of the graph. She said that because the equation is 1 over X, the lines will never reach zero. It goes on for eternity. It is infinite. Dad is like that. He will be here for eternity, because he is infinite too, and his blood will always flow in our veins and the veins of our decedents. So why should I be sad? I wipe my tears away. Dad is not gone. Dad will never be gone.
All of my memories keep you near;
Your silent whispers, silent tears
He will never leave us again. Every time I look out to sea, I'll see him, laughing, out in the Peggy Gordon, and if I strain my ears hard enough, I might catch a breath of song on the wind.
All of my memories
I wish I was away in Ingo...
I started writing this fic ages ago, and never got around to finishing it until now! I really hope you liked it! PLEASE review, I'll really, really appreciate it! And I promise that there is another High Tides chapter coming very soon! I have quite a few days off after my I.T GCSE tomorrow, so hopefully I should write more then! I hope you liked it, and do look up the song, because it is GORGEOUS!
Thank you for reading!
Sapphy
xxx