A/N: This is my first ACOTAR/ACOMAF fanfic so hopefully it isn't too bad - but hey, I am no Sarah J, Maas! Pre-warning - this will feature strong language which is the primary reason it is rated T.

This is based after the end of ACOMAF - I have had serious withdrawal from this series; despite reading it three times before reading all of the fanfiction currently published #notobssessed! So, that is mainly what has prompted this fanfic!

Please, do enjoy this chapter and maybe even drop a review!

Arwen4eva xxx

They are idiots, all of them. The High Lady of the Night Court has successfully infiltrated the Spring Court for over three weeks now and they are none-the-wiser.

First arriving here was horrific knowing that I would be split from my family. Stepping foot in the prison that once held me was hard; especially since I have no idea how long I am to become a prisoner here. Away from my true home. Away from...

Rhys.

My High Lord. My mate.

My body craves his touch, to smell his calming scent - the scent that is mingled with mine. Something I am extra wary about around Tamlin, he cannot know that the mating bond is still there. I want to feel him surround me, consume me. I want to tease him, to feel his strength.

Just him.

Obviously, he feels the same; I can feel the glimmer of his lust down our deep bond, against my shields that remain up for my protection - Tamlin could possess anything thanks to Hybern's backing and I am not rising my powers being restrained or my plan being foiled.

Lucien was bad enough on my arrival, the loss of his newly-found mate, my sister, has left him constantly agitated, his instincts possessing him - just like Rhys has warned me after our mating bond clicked in place. He only accepts my presence now but seems to have grown less and less suspicious as his need for his mate consumes him.

At least, the anger we hold for each other is now out in the open. The conversation we shared a mere two days after returning here seemed to sort things out, a small amount anyway.

"Feyre, I know you are planning something against us. You are still with them." Lucien's says as he walks up behind me as I take a stroll in the gardens. I can feel the eyes of the multiple guards who are tracking each of my movements; so much for being free as Tamlin had promised me.

I turn to face him, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I am not sure what you mean, Lucien." I say, furrowing my brows.

He stands, shifting his feet apart more as if preparing to attack.

"That day in the forest, you would have killed me; you were preparing to do so. You were one of them..."

"I had no control of my actions, Lucien. If I had harmed you, it would have been Rhysand's doing."

No." Lucien says, stepping forward. Both eyes fix on me. "You allowed your sisters, my mate, to be taken by the Night Court when we were in Hybern. You are keeping secrets, Feyre. That bond between you and Rhysand may have been broken, but you still belong with the Night Court; not the Spring Court with us."

You have absolutely no idea, Lucien.

His body seems to shake as his anger simmers. He wants to hit me but I will give him no such satisfaction.

"You have absolutely no idea about what I have gone through." I say to Lucien, my anger seeping out at his words. "You knew the human Feyre, but you do not know me. You ignored me after I became Fae. I desperately needed a friend but you were too scared to say a single thing to Tamlin. It was almost a blessing when Rhysand took me on my wedding day - I almost said no to Tamlin in front of the entire court because I could not subject myself to what he was doing to me." My hands turn into fists, an attempt at preventing the talons that threaten to break free. I cannot show the extent of my powers and the control I have over them; but the anger is too much.

"You let him cage me in this house and watched as I begged him to come back. You watched me suffer day after day but did not say a word. I was wasting away, becoming nothing more than skin and bone, but you did not even try to help me." Tears begin to sting my eyes - this moment is not an act, this is real.

"I wanted to-" Lucien starts but I refuse to believe anything he says.

"No, you didn't. Even though he used me for his own gain, Rhysand had the decency to help me; to attempt to fix my broken soul. He took me from here and allowed me to become myself again. Here, I was simply Tamlin's plaything. With Rhysand, I was Feyre."

"Would you prefer to be back there with them?"

"No, I returned here for a reason." I say, although the words struggle past my lips. "I love Tamlin but the full extent of the love I used to have for him is no more. He needs to treat me right - you need to treat me right. I will not be pushed into a room and left out of everything. I must be involved - especially with what is coming.

"I was so broken after being Under the Mountain, having to deal with Amarantha and it was a downward spiral afterwards. You both hated me for making that bargain with Rhysand but if I hadn't, Amarantha would still be alive. You tried to cover up my sacrifices and imagine that they were not as breaking as they were. I cannot let that happen again.

"However, I was so grateful to see Tamlin again; to know I would not be used against my own will."

Tears fill his eye and inside, I am joyously clapping at achieving such an emotion - he will be feeling a lot more than sadness soon enough. However, I feel awful considering I have just mentioned exactly how I am feeling to the enemy and the horrific lies I have just spoken about my court, my family, and my mate.

"I am sorry, Feyre. Tamlin is too." As usual, the apology is from him, and not Tamlin himself as if they are a single being. "But, please understand, Tamlin is my High Lord - if he orders me to do something, I must obey; he has done so much for me and I am forever in his debt."

"Even if it irreversibly damages the one he says he loves." I ask, wiping away an errant tear that has fallen unchecked.

"I'm afraid so." Lucien takes a step back, his metal eye whirring. "I cannot trust you as I once did, Feyre, but I know you are perhaps the only other person who cares for Elain. She is my mate and I need her back, safely."

"I know. If it comforts you, as it does me, Rhysand will not hurt her." I say, knowing that is no lie.

"How do you know?"

He is my mate. I trust him more than anyone.

"Rhysand will not damage anything that is precious to him."

Lucien finishes our conversation with a hug; something I hadn't ever expected and my body stiffens. When he withdraws, he apologises before leaving me in the gardens, alone.

But now, as I sit on my bed in my confining room, sadness fills my being. Three weeks is too long to be away from my mate. My nightmares have returned, plaguing my nights; Rhys chased them away but without him here, they have arrived worse than ever.

I feel a strong wave of love, surrounding me like a shroud of the lightest silk and realise that I have allowed my shields to fall. I respond similarly to Rhys before snapping them back up. Every time I feel his presence down the bond, my mortal heart breaks further.

I look out the window at the night beyond; nowhere near as stunning as it is back home in Velaris. The striking colours of the Rainbow, the clear beauty of the stars. None of that is here. The stars, whilst still beautiful, have lost that extra spark as if they are partially shielded from view.

I walk to the small balcony connected to my room and rest my forearms on the iron railing, feeling the sharp coldness penetrate my skin. A sigh escapes my lips as I observe the gardens before me.

It is all just wrong. Too foreign. The smells are too sharp and the sounds too deafening. It is nothing like home.

I hear a timid knock on the door and then an attempt at the handle. I'm not stupid. I have ensured that when the lock is on the door, only I can open the door. Wards around my room prevent any magic and winnowing, unless performed by me; perfect if I need to protect myself from anyone.

Slowly, I walk to my bed, sit on the side and flick my hand, releasing the lock.

"Yes?" I say, allowing the person at the door to enter.

I half expect Alis to walk in but as usual, it is not her; it is Tamlin instead. His brow is furrowed and his scent... it just makes me want to gag.

"Feyre." he says, standing in front of me, towering above my sitting body. His scent clogs my nose and I struggle to breathe regularly. But then I remember, it is almost a blessing so he cannot smell mine and Rhys' mingled scents. "What's the matter?"

The sooner I get rid of him, the better.

"I am just tired, my love." I say, placing a small smile on my lips. He kneels in front of me, clearly not believing me.

"It is more than that, Feyre. You are reluctant to kiss me, to even touch me." He places his large hand on my cheek and I control myself to not back away. "There was a time when you could not stay away from me; that you more than welcomed my touch upon your body."

"I'm sorry." I say softly, wanting nothing more than to rip his throat out. I feel a glimmer of something along the bond as if Rhys senses my emotions and it helps to calm me. "I am just not myself right now."

He leans forward and tries to kiss me and I immediately turn my face away; I cannot allow it. He growls angrily, something I have perhaps heard once, which actually scares me and he forces my head back to his. He places a vice grip on my chin and forces his lips upon mine.

I try to push away but he is stronger than I am; my powers begins to surface but I cannot show them; he cannot know what I possess.

I continue pushing against him and when I feel his tongue try to prise my lips apart, I strongly kick him in the groin and he stumbles back. The growl that erupts from him this time is unlike one I have ever heard and it genuinely terrifies me.

I scramble backwards, off the other side of the bed and into the corner of the room as he half turns into his beast form, talons growing and his eyes growing darker.

I am sure that the fear on my face is showing; it is genuine and uncontrollable. He releases another growl, softer this time, before turning back into that repulsive man.

I draw my knees to my chest, trying to tame the shaking as he approaches me. He stops a few paces away, crouching and holding his hand up as a hunter would to calm its prey; something I have done too many times. His breathing is ragged and he tries approaching further. I sink more into the corner of the room, pushing myself away from him.

"Feyre." he says, trying to lure me back. That will not be happening.

I push my mental claws towards his and reach his shields that are practically non-existent which does slightly surprise me. Similar to Tarquin, I become the embodiment of Spring, of everything that makes him Tamlin, and invade his mind - reading his thoughts.

'I scared her. But she needs to accept me again. She is mine, not his. She just needs to remember our love; remember my loving touch; our lips together, on each other's body. Then she will be who she truly is.' His thoughts almost make me retch.

As I keep eye contact, I alter his thoughts and plant images that I know will hurt him. I let him believe that he tried to attack me, that he has broken me further. That he makes such horrible accusations that send more tears to my eyes and let him realise just how broken I am inside.

To further ensure that he remembers it this way and not me claiming and controlling his mind, I dig those claws in and cause him to fall unconscious. His body slumps to the ground and I allow myself a moment to grasp my breath and cease my shaking.

I will not allow him to do that to me again, I cannot allow it; unless I raise this place to the ground with me inside.

I stand, take a hold of the collar of his shirt and winnow us into his room. With my powers, I make a gust of wind pull him up and then drop him, unceremoniously, onto the bed. As soon as he lands, I winnow back into my own room, ensure my door is locked and go to the bathing room.

I need to wash his scent off of me. It clings to every pore on my body and still lingers in my nose.

...

The tendrils of steam surround me as small water owls fly around the room. My magic needs to be released in some way without giving myself away; Tamlin almost pushed me to the edge.

I remove the glamour on my right arm and lovingly trace the black, inky swirls with my left pointer finger. The proof of my undying love and the strong mating bond between me and Rhys; the High Lord of the Night Court and his High Lady - a title, Tamlin claimed never existed. I trace every curve and every piece of that tattoo, my gaze drifting to my empty left arm, now too bare.

As soon as I return home, that tattoo will reside there again - just without the bargain in place as it is useless now. Perhaps simply being with my mate again, our bond will be fully restored - allowing us to communicate more freely with each other.

I allow my shields to drop in the hopes that Rhys is there. I don't send anything down our bond, but search its vastness instead. I cannot feel any trace of him and then I reach his shields; strong, in tact and unbreakable. I linger there for a moment, feeling close to him.

I retreat back and snap up my own shields. The owls flying around the room, land on the side of the bath tub and then dive into the water, not to be seen again.

I stand and climb out the tub, donning a thick dressing gown. I look at the nightgown I wore not an hour ago and grab it in my tattooed hand before going to the fireplace. I take pleasure in watching the flames consume the Tamlin riddled fabric.

The other nightgowns in the wardrobe are far too flimsy and revealing, the sort I would only wear for Rhys, so I close my eyes and hold out my hands. A thicker and less revealing nightgown appears and I replace the dressing gown with the fabric.

I do not climb back into the bed until I have watched the fabric fully blacken and mingle in with the burning wood; all in the hopes that it will make me feel better.

Soon, I will do the same to the Spring Court. I will revel in the flames that will consume this prison whilst standing beside my mate; the powerful High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court.

I place the glamour back on my arm with one last caress of the ink and settle within the constricting, pale yellow covers. Spring surrounds me but I picture my home; I picture the art and the music that powers Velaris.

I do hope sleep will be more peaceful tonight.

End note: Please review! :)