Okay I know its been two and half years since I posted anything! But here today, I need your help. Please look at this story and tell me where I need to work on it, what suggestions do you have, what grammer mistakes have I made? I want to publish this and knew you were a sound bunch of like minded folk only too willing and able to help! Love you. By the way, I might not have been posting, but I have been reading!
Its meant to be a little dark and sort of vauge whether the person is speaking or thinking. I also had visions of this being an Ichigo Aizen thing.
The Dancer's Benefactor.
What on earth do you see in me? Nothing I should think. But I am captivated by you; it's your ego, as large as ever, loving this idea of being so revered by the adoring public; yet innocent to see the manipulation of the judging media.
I know nothing of your talent or technique, but I know beyond all that is most true, that with your pretty mouth shut tight, you might just be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Your grace, poise…flow. Your skin so pale, smooth…velvety….it is all I can do to control myself.
The mature rational side of my brain says I am old & dirty – well I am much older than you even if the difference is a matter of so called laughter lines and a twinkle of silvering in my hair. You should run while you still can because we all have a dark side my lovely and I'm fighting mine right now.
Do you hate me? Do I revolt you?
Run...
Run...
...
Won't you run?
You'll look back in years to come at the bruises that won't fade and denounce me as a monster. You'll pour pity on my sickness and your lips will weep with emotional garbage. Oh woe is the victim so vulnerable and meek yet in years of 15 more, has the power to cleave my world into hell.
But I warned you did I not here and now with my plea? This nonsense will end poorly if not at least sated. Ahh such sweet, short lived pleasure.
Humans can be vile and evil and pour its fault on being so charmed by the instinctive drive of our nature... Procreation... Its need culls sense. Primitive urges that drive man wild and to extremes of violence. To bite, to mark, to scratch and bleed. I want that. I want to control and hurt but not at a price so high.
...
I am willing to indulge but if and only if, my little one, if you long for one such as I? At least in truth I say this to you, there is no hiding of my lust nor the twisted measure of my thoughts.
'Run', I whisper again with hope you do not actually hear it. I should shout it, cry it out with a bellow of my lungs so harsh that my spittle hits your face and in the air you taste the liquor affecting my judgement. I'll not warn you again.
I'll not warn you anymore...Not with these tears I shed in fear of your hate as I finally let a finger tip feather your cheek. Love is cruel.
... ...
The staining on the sheets is etched into my soul. Red so RED RED RED. Yet you look like heaven & my portal to damnation.
Keep simple or pad it out?
Like it or hate it?
Too graphic or not graphic enough?
Thought provoking or boring?