I first met him at Teiko. He had just joined the basketball team. He always looked so happy and upbeat next to his friends. I wanted to reach him, to be touched by his joy. I was only at Teiko for half a semester before I left. I moved to a different school for the rest of my middle school years and the beginning two years of high school. During those four years, I encountered many things that changed who I was. I met him again my junior year at Kaijo; we were put in the same class. As cliche as it sounded, I was set up to tutor him. I was the top of my class meanwhile he was failing. He didn't have time to study because of basketball and I was more than willing. We became close, just like the movies. We would hang out at his house and he would bring me out to places. I thought maybe despite what had happened to me in the past, I could still love. Soon after, we both left for university; me going to study in UCLA and he stayed in Japan, going to one of the universities there on an athletics scholarship. We stayed in touch and his calls would bring my day up; however, it was in America, when my fate was sealed. I finally returned to Japan after my laboring years towards my Ph.D. He proposed to me not long after I returned. By then, I couldn't love him anymore. I had done the unforgivable in my past. Out of guilt and stupidity, I said yes. I told myself that I would give it a go. I would do my best to forget and love him with my all. Never did I ever imagine myself writing this letter; the letter that would break his heart. I had a perfect life; a loving husband, a house, money, amazing friends, but I was empty. Many would blame me for my failing marriage, that I didn't deserve him and I should have never tried to love him. But, there's a reason for my failing marriage.
I've always seem attracted to the number six. Before I got married, I fell in love six times. With every person, I gave a little of my heart away. They took a piece and left me. I became more empty with each person. The first one, I unknowingly gave away. I was naive and stupid. The second one, I threw at him. I wanted to get something in return but in my frustration and ambition, I gave up another part of my heart. The third one, it fell out of my pocket. He picked it up and promised to return it. He never did. The fourth one, I didn't know I gave away until he left. By then, I was almost void of everything. The fifth one, I sold that one night. He bought it with a beautiful smile and reassuring words. The sixth one, and the last, was the worst. I lost it in battle. I fought to hold on to it, but in the end, he managed to take it from me. I thought maybe, maybe he wouldn't just take it and leave; but he did. By the time I met him, my husband, my heart was already gone. He promised to protect my heart, but I didn't have one for him to protect. He gave me his heart and I had nothing to give back. Maybe that was the same with the other six. They had also given their hearts away before me. I had broken my vow before I said it. My heart was in pieces, scattered across the world. I can only apologize so much for my sins; to myself and to him. I'm sorry for leading him on. I'm sorry for lying to myself. I'm sorry for hurting him and wasting his time.
"I'm sure you noticed that lately I've been acting stranger than usual. After you see the papers on the table, I'm sure you'll know why. It's not your fault, but my fault for treating my heart like nothing; for easily giving it away. I have no more of me to give you. I'm sorry. This sounds really selfish of me, but could you please sign the papers? For me?"
-(Name)
And I'm sorry for taking a piece of his heart too.