Title: Brave
Summary: songfic oneshot
Rating: G for GENERAL (lol) (G aka K)
Spoilers:None. Er, possible ''Divide and Conquer'' slight spoiler. definite ''Cold Lazarus'' spoil. This is pretty much neutral-season... But before ''Grace''!
Disclaimer: I own not Nichole Nordeman's song ''Brave'' I also don't own Stargate SG-1 no matter how much I want to. EH, oh well. I wouldn't be brilliant enought to take credit for all those awesome eppies anyway. and also i dont know how good i am at makin' them stay in character. i pretty much just do 'em the way i wish 'em to be or the way i see 'em
AUTHOR NOTE: Okay! This is my very first Sg-1 story ever! Yay! I wrote it like last month, I think, I don't know really but I needed adjustments for it because I had awkward sentences and stuff. So on 6-16-06 the adjustments were made. Ya-hoo. LOL. Anyway, here we go! The long-awaited first fanfic o'mine! hehe
Sam's POV

the Gate is wide, the road is paved in moderation. The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in. Welcome to the middle ground, it's safe and sound. Until now, it's where I've been. 'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everything. But it's been love, your love that cuts the strings.

"Carter! Let's go! Dial it out."
I heard Jack's voice, but was stuck in my thoughts. I just stood there.
"Carter? Hello? Goa'uld — coming! Dial it!"
"Huh? Oh, sorry, sir!" I walked over to the DHD and dialed the seven symbols. Jack came up beside me.
"OK. What was that?"
"The Earth address." A/N OMG! It was the Earth address, right!
"Kk," he scoffed, "I know that! That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about earlier. It's like you didn't hear me."
"Well, I-I heard you, but..."
"But!"
I bit the inside of my cheek.
"But?" he repeated, impatiently waiting for an explanation.
"But I was thinking. About...other...stuff..."
"O-Kay. Well, let's go home now." I could tell he was thoroughly curious to know what I was thinking, but still frustrated I didn't listen to him the first time.
"Carter? Did you hear me? LET'S. GO. HOME."
"Right."
"I'm having you checked into the infirmary as soon as we get there, OK? You're acting—"
"Weird?"
"...different," he clarified.
We walked through the Gate. Teal'c and Daniel were already on the other side.
" 'Kay, Carter, go check in with Fraiser," he nudged my arm.
When he touched me, I fell over. Everyone stared at me. I got up.
"I'm alright."
"No, you're not." ah, always so argumentative.
"I'm takin' you to see the doc. Come on. Go." he gently pushed me out of the Gate Room and down the hall, leading me into the infirmary. When he took his hand of my back, I fell again. He bent over to help me up.
"What is with you, Sam?" he said as he reached out to grab my hand.
"No, I'm fine." I waved his hands away and gout up myself.
"Okay," he stepped back. Janet walked over.
"Oh, hey, Sam. Coming in for the routine check-up?" I started to nod but the colonel interrupted me.
"Actually, she's been acting weird ever since I told her — the first time out of many — to dial the Gate. Maybe the planet's atmosphere caused interference between her ears and her brain? or something? I don't know."
"Okay. Well, I'll have a look at her. You can go now." he left and I stared after him.
"So, Sam... What happened?" Janet's voice jolted me out of my fantasy.
"Uh, I don't know. I was thinking."
"Uh-huh?"
"Well, I I didn't listen to him 'cause I was think about him." Did I say that?
"Ah, the symptoms of a broken heart."
"What? Janet, I—"
"Sam. Okay, yeah, you have to keep it a secret from the Air Force, but you can't hide anything from your doctor. And good friend."
"Yeah."
"Yeah. Well, all health signs are normal. Go talk to Colonel O'Neill."
"Thanks." I grabbed my jacket. As I was leaving, I saw Daniel.
"Hey, Daniel! Do you know where Jack is?"
"Uh... locker room? Last place I saw him."
"Thanks." Hmm, he looked much too happy to be getting the required after-world checkup...
As I was approaching the locker room, the door swung open and almost whacked me.
"Whoa," I jumped back.
The voice on the other side of the door said, "Hey! Sorry! You OK?" the door shut.
"Carter?" the same voice said. Jack.
"Yeah, I'm fine. You didn't hit me. I was just coming to find you."
"What did Fraiser say?"
"I'm fine."
"Oh, then I wonder — did I imagine it? Are—"
"I know what's wrong with me." I sighed.
"Remember what we said when the Tok'ra used that lie detector device on us? The part we were hiding?"
"Yeahhh..."
"Well, I'm done. I'm done trying to pretend that I just see you as my superior officer. I can't do it. I-I haven't been able to focus on anything. Because, I've been thinking and I've decided...to...resign." I blinked. Oh, gosh, tell me I'm not crying. Dang.
"I just —" I swallowed and blinked, but the tears didn't go away. They didn't come out, but I could still feel them.
"Oh, Carter." he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around me.
"Sam, you're not resigning."
"No, Jack, I have to." I sniffed and looked up into his dark eyes.
'No, you don't."
"Well, I'll miss the Stargate, yeah, but... Daniel's not in the military, and I could still—"
"Dang it Carter! You're not resigning, okay! Forget it. There's no way I'm allowing you to do that. I doubt General Hammond would let you either."
"Why won't you let me! I wanna be with you. And, isn't it my decis—"
"Carter. I'm divorced because I couldn't spend enough time at home with my wife and my kid. Charlie and Sarah were always very upset. It's my fault Charlie died. If I had been home more... look, I won't have you quit and then regret it because I couldn't come see you every day, every week, or even every month. No. Stay. Please." I lifted my head off his shoulder to look at him again.
"AND, I'll order you not to resign if I have to."
"Jack——"
"Sam, if I die during a mission or whatever, I don't wanna inflict that kind of pain on you." I sunk my head into his chest and actually started to cry.
"But, I need to be with you. You, as more than just the colonel, and more than just a friend."
"Carter... Sam... Samantha, look at me. I need to be with you in the same way but I won't let you resign. I don't know what we're gonna do, but you're not resigning." he kissed the top of my head. Wish he could do that for real.
The unshed tears subsided.
"You okay now?"
"No. I'll never be OK. Not without you."
"Hey, be my brave little Sam, please? And don't look at me like that. It's not impossible. You've been brave before. You're actually the br—"
the intercom started up.
"Colonel O'Neill to the infirmary, Colonel O'Neill to the infirmary."
"I gotta go, okay, Sam? We'll figure something out," he said as he walked away.
His brave little Sam... Okay...

So long the status quo. I think I've just let go. You make me wanna be brave. The way it always was is no longer good enough. You make me wanna be brave. Brave. Brave I am small and i speak when i'm spoken to. But i am willing to risk it all. I say your name, just your name and i'm ready to jump, even ready to fall. why did i take this vow of compromise? why did i try to keep it all inside? So long the status quo. I think I've just let go. You make me wanna be brave. The way it always was is no longer good enough. You make me wanna be brave. Brave. Brave i've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flame and every storm will start with just a drop of rain but if you believe in me, that changes everything. So long the status quo. I think I've just let go. You make me wanna be brave. The way it always was is no longer good enough. You make me wanna be brave. Brave. Brave