This story contains drug use and death, if you are not comfortable with these things then please do not read.

Disclaimer: Free! and it's characters do not belong to me and belong the respected owners. I only own/made this story.

The sky was lit with a beautiful orange as the sun began to sink behind the mountains, creating a perfect and peaceful afternoon. Cicadas sang as a small breeze made the trees dance, their leaves flying up into the orange sky and being carried away into the sunset.

A small house was sitting atop a hill, comfortably spaced from the other houses around it. It was a quiet house, the only sound being heard was the still singing cicadas and rustling trees. It seemed peaceful, and nothing disturbed the sounds of nature.

Thump.

The cicadas stopped, the breeze died down. An unnatural sound had stopped nature's song, and everything seemed to go deathly quiet.

On the wooden ground of this small house lied a raven haired teen, his blue eyes glassy and watery. A small, empty bottle was in one hand with a few pills lying around it, along with a few more small and empty bottles. On the bottle he was holding was a label that read 'anti depressants'.

"…Rin." The teen chocked out, his hand still clutching the bottle "…why did you…have to go…?"

Rin Matsuoka, a close friend of Haruka Nanase, who is currently lying on the floor, left for Australia six years ago. He left to improve his swimming, since he wanted to become an Olympic swimmer. Haruka was devastated to hear he was leaving, he never really got to say goodbye.

But that wasn't the reason he was lying on the floor.

Rin did come back, he did come and see Haruka, but only for a race. Haruka beat Rin, he had always been a little faster than Rin, but the redhead didn't take it well. He started crying and ran off the first chance he got, although Haruka did catch up to him. However, the moment he grabbed him, Rin said he quit swimming. Rin said he quit the sport that made them so close in the first place. Haruka wanted to apologise, he didn't know for what exactly, but he wanted to apologise. How he wanted to, how he desperately wanted to, but no words came out of his mouth as he watched Rin run away from him. Again, he never really got the chance to say goodbye.

But that wasn't the reason he was lying on the floor.

A few nights after that, as Haruka was sitting in front of the TV with dull eyes, the phone rang. Haruka got up to get it, his mother and father were far too busy to take a call. He picked up the phone and asked who was on the other line, only to hear sobbing.

It was Rin's mother, her quivering breaths ringing through Haruka's ears. Little did Haruka know, Rin was going back to Australia once more. He had only come back to Japan for a visit and needed to go back as soon as possible. But there was an accident, and Haruka found out Rin was in a car crash on the way to the airport.

A tear ran down Haruka's face, then two, then a countless number began to fall. He never really got the chance to say goodbye.

That was the reason he was lying on the floor.

Haruka attended the funeral with Makoto and Nagisa, all of them crying together. They were all so young, Rin was so young, he had so much to live for, and Haruka never got to apologise.

Haruka began falling into a deep depression, his thoughts taking him over. He began thinking improbable things, like the reason Rin was going back to Australia was because of him.

Why didn't he lose that damn race, why didn't he let Rin win? Why did he have to let his stupid pride take over him?

Rin was dead, and Haruka was the one who killed him. It was all Haruka's fault.

Makoto always had to worry about Haruka, always had to make Haruka get up and go to school. No one had heard from Nagisa after the funeral, and nor Haruka or Makoto bothered to call him. They all stopped swimming, so there was no point in seeing each other.

Makoto had told Haruka countless times it wasn't his fault, that the world was just cruel and unfair. But all Haruka could think of was how him, Makoto and Rin would all be in their third year of high school together. But Rin wasn't with them, and it was his fault, it was all his fault….

Haruka couldn't continue swimming, how could he? Swimming was the reason Rin was dead, it hurt just to see water, and Haruka developed a kind of phobia of it. Whenever he'd see it, memories would flash through his mind like a broken record. The regret and guilt would build up and hit him hard, causing a panic attack.

Because of this, Haruka would get sick many times. His body wouldn't be getting enough liquids and he'd be dehydrated, causing him to collapse and be sent to the hospital. The first time this happened, the doctor examined him and diagnosed him with depression, which is how Haruka got the pills. His parents had to work overtime to afford all the pills and medical bills, both of them having to move to Tokyo to continue with their well payed jobs. They knew they couldn't take Haruka away from Makoto, as Makoto was the only one keeping Haruka on his feet. So they entrusted Haruka to Makoto and left.

For months Haruka would go through the endless torture of being reminded how he killed Rin, his best friend. Even though his councillor told him he didn't, even though Makoto told him he didn't, he knew they were lying.

The guilt and regret built, the depression taking him over. It was like he was trapped in a glass case filled with water, and his lungs would begin to burn as the water engulfed him. But just before he drowned the glass case would open, and he'd be forced to take a small breath before having it close on him again. He was forever trapped in this glass case, where he'd feel only pain and get the the briefest feeling of relief only to start drowning again. Makoto had caught him trying to take some kind of drug once, Haruka couldn't remember what it was. Some of the rowdy kids at school were secretly selling it, saying they got it from this guy on the street. He didn't know what it was, and he didn't care, they told him it would make him feel better. Haruka couldn't remember the last time he smiled.

But Makoto ripped it away from him, started scolding him about how it could kill him. Haruka said something to Makoto that made the brunette's green eyes fill with horror.

"I don't care if I die, it'd be better if I do."

It hurt too much to see that expression on Makoto's face, so Haruka never said it again. But he'd think it, he was always thinking it. And now, after countless months, after countless weeks and countless days, he no longer had to think about it. He didn't want to be taunted by these small feelings of relief anymore, he just wanted to drown.

He wanted to say goodbye to Rin, he wanted to apologise to Rin. He just wanted to see Rin, wanted Rin to give him that cheerful smile.

In all honesty, Haruka didn't know if he was in love with Rin or not. Makoto had asked him once, and Haruka didn't know how to respond. But Haruka decided he wasn't in love with the redhead, although the question continued to sit in the back of his mind.

Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't, or maybe he just felt too guilty for Rin's death. He just wanted to see Rin, wanted Rin himself to tell Haruka that it wasn't his fault. Then, only then, would he be satisfied. Only then would the constant cycle of torture be over.

Haruka grabbed his chest and made a pain filled sound. It hurt, it hurt to die, but it was nothing compared to the pain he had to go through for so many years. He chocked and coughed, his chest now burning and tightening. His heart beating rapidly, faster than it has ever beaten.

"I'm sorry…Ma…ko…to…" he chocked out.

He couldn't tell Makoto he was doing this, he couldn't tell Makoto he'd been thinking about doing this for years. Haruka knew he was the only one Makoto had left, and he knew his act was selfish, but he couldn't live with himself. He had left a note for the brunette, explaining how he needed to see Rin, how his life had been nothing but torture, how he had nothing to live for. But he had to cut the note short, because he knew if he dwelled on the thought for too long, he'd just decide not to go through with it and postpone his own death. Haruka knew if he waited for too long he'd just drag Makoto in the glass case with him. He couldn't do that to Makoto, not after everything he has done for him.

Haruka let out a small, chocked gasp as the hand clutched on his chest tightened. It hurt, oh god it hurt, but it was all going to be over soon, it would finally be over.

"Rin," he coughed, still holding the small bottle tight "I'll see you…again…finally."

Blue eyes began to go dull, the hand tightly clutching his chest now weakening. It didn't hurt as much now, and all Haruka could feel was relief. Not the relief of the glass case opening, but the relief of the water finally engulfing him as the case was locked shut, unable to be opened again and no longer forcing him to take that tantalising breath of air.

A tear rolled down Haruka's face as his vision started to go black, a genuine smile graced his lips. With his last chocking breath, he whispered;

"Wait…for…me…Rin…"

The bottle rolled out of Haruka's hand, and his eyes went completely lifeless. A peaceful smile rested upon his unmoving lips, and the hand clenching his chest slid down to the floor.

The small house was silent once more, and the cicadas went back to their singing. Another breeze kicked up and the trees danced along with the singing cicadas. The sky was still lit a bright orange, although it was slowly getting darker and darker.

All in all, it was a perfect, peaceful and beautiful afternoon, and nothing could disturb nature's song.

I wasn't too sure how to end it, so I'm sorry about that. I also posted this on tumblr but decided to put it here as well because I wanted to know what others would think of it.

Thanks for reading!