Middle of A Memory
Authour's Note: Part 2 of my Steve trilogy. There's some Civil War canon divergence starting here and, again, some more MCU cameos. Please enjoy!
In the middle of a dance floor all alone/In the middle of an old school country song/Right when I was just about to lean on in/Why'd you have to go then?/Baby, in the middle of the glow of the neon light/It shoulda, coulda, woulda been the night of our lives/Girl, it ain't right, no/How you gonna leave me right in the middle of a memory?
Steve Rogers was no stranger to half made memories. It seemed to him that all the best things from his former life were unfinished memories – Bucky, Peggy, the Howling Commandos, even Howard Stark. He had so many hopes and aspirations for that life he left in the 1940s. Since coming out of the Steve had been prisoner to all the what ifs in his life; he hadn't really been living in the present. No, Steve had simply been going through the motions, doing little more than existing in a foreign time.
And then, all at once, those half-finished memories became reality again. Steve had met the woman he knew he would spend forever with. He was making new memories every day he spent with her, achieving the things he thought he had lost forever. Vitaliya, his fellow hero, made it a point to make sure he actually lived. She brought out a side of Steve no one knew he had. Steve felt whole, like he was a new man. Even Peggy had commented on the change in one of her more lucid moments. Laughter came easier and more frequent to the fair haired soldier. He felt he could face anything so long as he had Vitaliya.
Vitaliya was changed, too. For the first time in many years, she could be herself and not some carefully crafted persona for her missions. Working with the Avengers gave her a sense of home that working with SHIELD never had. It delighted Steve that his girlfriend had been able to trust the men and women he chose to keep in his life. She'd been a great asset to the team, too. She had helped save so many lives in Sokovia.
Steve knew, though, that life was fragile and fleeting. His first love was slowly dying in a nursing home, none of the Commandos were alive, and Bucky was still a ghost story. Steve wasn't about to miss out on another opportunity. When they returned from Lagos, Steve was going to ask Vitaliya to marry him. They deserved some happiness after everything the two of them had been through.
It was undeniable; what happened in Lagos had been an unmitigated disaster. The tea had come out of it with minimal injuries and thanks to Wanda, there had been minimal casualties. It definitely could have gone worse for them.
"He said Bucky's name and I just froze," Steve murmured as he buried his face in Vitaliya's hair and breathing in the scent of her shampoo. He pulled her closer when he felt her hands running lightly up and down his back. "If you and Wanda hadn't acted when you did, a lot more people would be dead because of me."
"It's not your fault, Stevie," Vitaliya told him soothingly. "Rumlow's always been good at getting under peoples' skin. Besides, it's my fault he got away… I should have killed him when I had the chance."
The bitterness in his girlfriend's voice was unmistakable. Vitaliya had just as much reason to hate Rumlow as Steve did. Steve sighed softly before moving so he could place gentle kisses along the scar on Vitaliya's cheek – a scar that Rumlow had given her for helping Steve evade capture. "I'm glad you didn't; you're not a killer Tally," Steve whispered against her cheek before kissing along her jaw. The young woman hummed her approval, her hands moving from his back to his hair. She gave a gentle tug and Steve's lips found hers. The kiss was soft and tender but still hungry and searing. They melted into each other perfectly and soon Steve found himself hovering over Vitaliya, using his elbows to support his weight.
"You know I've killed before Steve," she whispered, her eyes locking onto his. Vitaliya was tough as nails on the battlefield and the life of the party in social activities. When it was just her and Steve, she felt safe enough to show how vulnerable she was. She had opened up to him more than she had to anyone else in her life. It had taken Vitaliya a while to get there but when she finally had, Steve had noticed a big change in her.
"There's been no solid leads on Bucky for months. What if we never find him?" Steve sighed as he strode into Vitaliya's kitchen. He had been away the better part of a week with Sam, trying to find fresh leads on the missing super soldier.
"You will find him, Steve," assured Vitaliya, her voice a bit strained. Any time Steve mentioned Bucky, he noticed Vitaliya closed herself off to him. She listened to him and supported him, but Vitaliya seemed to avoid actually talking about Bucky herself. "If I were him, I wouldn't make it easy either."
Steve flashed her a wry smile. "You didn't."
"The things HYDRA did… it's not easy to come back from," the former STRIKE member murmured to herself as she looked back at Steve from where she was standing at the stove. Steve gave her a soft smile of understanding. She had been undercover to infiltrate the ranks of HYDRA in SHIELD at the command of Nick Fury. He couldn't even imagine how hard it had been for her let alone the hell his former best friend had gone through as their puppet. "Steve... I…" she started, stopping what she was doing.
"What is it?" he asked, closing the distance between them. He glanced into the pot she had been stirring, inhaling the scent of homemade chicken noodle soup. He leaned down and kissed her scarred cheek, hoping to reassure her. She looked so much like a frightened caged animal in that moment that Steve was worried she might run from him.
Inhaling sharply and almost recoiling, Vitaliya shook her head. "No, don't," she pleaded, trying to quickly plaster a smile on her face. "Are you hungry? It's about done," she changed the subject quickly.
Steve just frowned at his girlfriend. "Please tell me Tally."
"I… I can't," she answered, turning her gaze onto the simmering pot of soup. She jumped a little when Steve reached around her and switched off the burner. "What are you doing?"
"Do you trust me, Vitaliya?"
"Of course I do!" the former SHIELD agent replied, surprised by his question. "I showed you my home, gave you a key…."
Steve nodded in understanding. "I know and I understand it was a huge step for you." The super soldier stepped back and gently took Vitaliya by the hand, leading her over to her sofa. "Will you talk to me? Nothing you have to say is going to make me think any different about you."
"This will," Vitaliya whispered as she shuffled toward the sofa with Steve. Before she could protest, Steve was pulling her down onto the sofa next to him and her other hand was in his before she realized it. "There were a lot of things I had to do – "
"To maintain your cover," Steve cut her off, knowing exactly what she was going to say. "I know, Tally."
"I wanted to tell you, so many times… and then they went after Nick… I didn't even have time to warn him," continued Vitaliya, her voice barely above a whisper. She glanced at Steve briefly before dropping her gaze to their hands. At some point, Steve had begun swiping his thumbs back and forth over her knuckles, a gesture meant to soothe her. It wasn't helping the young woman as she quickly pulled her hands from his. "Rumlow kept me by his side that whole day…."
"Vitaliya," Steve murmured, reaching for her hands again. Part of him knew what was coming, what Vitaliya was holding back. "It's not your fault."
"I knew he was Bucky Barnes, your best friend! And I didn't tell you! Rumlow knew and took pleasure in bragging about it. He made a whole show of showing me that fucking chair, probably to scare me. I knew what they were doing to him, the torture they were putting him through… and I did nothing, Steve. I did nothing!"
Steve reached over and pulled Vitaliya into his arms, his heart breaking at the way she immediately went tense at his touch before dissolving into a mess of tears and body wracking sobs. He said nothing, just held her until her sobs quieted. Gently, Steve tilted her head up so he could look into her eyes. "Vitaliya, it's okay." He brushed the unshed tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry you felt you had to keep that from me," he told her sincerely.
"I'm sorry Steve," Vitaliya whispered.
Steve shook his head. "You have nothing to be sorry for. You risked a lot helping me in that elevator and I left you at their mercy."
"Can you ever forgive me?" Vitaliya asked, her voice trembling. She reached up, covering Steve's hands with her own. Steve leaned closer to her, their foreheads touching. "You're the first good thing in my life in a long time."
"You too," Steve told her. "And there's nothing to forgive."
"Rumlow's never going to stop hunting us. You, me, Sam, Nat… He'll never stop as long as he's alive."
"Then he's in for a hell of a fight," Steve replied before kissing Vitaliya lightly. "I won't live my life looking over my shoulder, only half living Vitaliya. And neither will you."
Vitaliya raised an eyebrow at the blond haired super soldier. "Aren't you the bossy one? That an order, Captain?"
Steve huffed out a wry chuckle before kissing his love once more. "You're pretty mouthy there yourself, Agent."
"Well, if you insist Stevie. We'll just have to keep making memories together to piss Rumlow off I suppose," Vitaliya sighed as though she were being inconvenienced. Steve opened his mouth to speak and Vitaliya covered his mouth with her hand. "If you warn me about my language, Steven Grant Rogers, so help me!" The young woman tried to look indignant even as Steve's body shook with silent laughter. He kissed her hand before she moved it away. "I love you," she told him with a smile.
"Marry me," he replied, all trace of joking gone. "Vitaliya Corcoran, I don't want to waste another minute without you as my wife." Steve waited, his whole body tensed, for her answer. When he felt her arms snake around his neck and pull him into a deeply passionate kiss, all the tension left his body. Steve knew that was his answer and it was the only answer he needed.
Vitaliya smoothed out the skirt of her dress, needing to keep her hands and mind occupied. She was about to marry Captain America himself before all their friends. Twenty-four hours ago, she would have thought it laughable that the whole Avengers team would be there. After Steve had proposed, Vision had appeared to inform them that Tony had returned to the compound. Things had gone to hell pretty quickly, the team divided by the Sokovia Accords. She had no problem retiring from the hero game herself but it was not in Steve's nature. None of them would be able to give up the life. Vitaliya suspected even Clint was itching to be back in the fray. The former SHIELD agent smiled fondly as she remembered breaking up their bickering by revealing she was marrying Steve and anyone who couldn't put the accords for one night would not only be barred from the wedding but she promised to make their lives a literal hell.
Vitaliya peaked around the wall separating her from the majority of her apartment's rooftop, taking in the mix of twinkling icicle lights and neon glow from some of the surrounding buildings. Father Lantom stood at the far end of the rooftop, talking with Steve and Sam while the other Avengers sat on white folding chairs and talked quietly. The sight of everyone all dressed up was not unfamiliar to Vitaliya; she had been to many formal Stark parties in the past. Still, seeing Steve in his suit took her breath away like it was the first time she had set eyes on him.
"Are you ready Vitaliya?"
She turned and smiled at the man who had come up behind her. "I am definitely ready for this. Thank you for coming on such short notice, Phil. I couldn't imagine anyone else giving me away to Captain America," she told him, reaching out to hug the current director of SHIELD.
Coulson returned the hug and kissed the top of her head. He'd been the one to recruit (Name) for SHIELD much like he had Daisy Johnson; both women were like daughters to him. "He's a lucky man, Tally." He offered Vitaliya his arm and began to lead her towards Steve and Father Lantom as the music changed to an old school country ballad.
The walk down the aisle was quick, Coulson hugged Vitaliya one more time before shaking Steve's hand. Steve's gaze never left his bride, making (Name) blush faintly. She was glad they had wasted no time getting married. With the Accords in place, she wasn't sure there would be a better time. There were no guarantees in their line of work, either. The young woman smiled lovingly up at her groom as he recited his vows, knowing it had taken him over seventy years to get to the altar. He had given up the idea of marriage when he sacrificed himself for the good of the world.
"I loved you the moment I walked into that fake hospital room and you freaked out, breaking through a wall to get out," Vitaliya said, laughing softly at the memory. "I don't know what this life has in store for either of us, but there is no one else I want to go through it with. Whether it's dropping helicarriers into rivers or fighting pain in the ass Stark tech, it will always be you at my side and me by yours, Stevie. No more half-made memories."
Steve grinned a wide, toothy grin before slipping a ring onto her finger. Vitaliya's answering smile was just as goofy as his. She barely heard Father Lantom pronounced them husband and wife, too swept up by Steve's loving gaze. He leaned in to kiss her and Vitaliya went on her toes to meet him half way just as there was a sudden crack of thunder above them.
And then the world around Vitaliya fell into pitch black darkness.