The corridor was quiet and empty in the early hours of the morning for which Kathryn was grateful. There was nothing wrong with playing a quick game of hover ball with her First Officer, of course, but she didn't particularly want to be seen out of uniform, hot, sweaty and disheveled. Chakotay had beaten her soundly. He walked beside her now, dark face flushed with the exertion but not so obviously out of breath as she. They stepped into the turbolift and Kathryn leaned over slightly, one hand against the wall and the other clutching her racquet. Chakotay cast a glance her way.
'I think you overdid it, Kathryn.'
'I did nothing of the kind. I'm absolutely...fine, Chakotay,' said Kathryn, wheezing. She tried desperately to regulate and slow her breathing in order to keep from him the fact that all she wanted to do at the moment was sit down.
'No you're not,' he countered. He gestured to her throat. 'May I?'
She nodded at his upraised hand. He placed two gentle fingers on her carotid artery and silently counted for a minute. 'You need to build up your cardiovascular system. Your pulse rate feels like the warp core - at warp nine.' He removed his fingers from her neck, resisting the urge to brush her hair back from her face as he did so.
'There have been times it was higher...and without...the benefit of exercise,' she panted.
'I can imagine. I've been urging you to spend more time on the calisthenics programs, but whenever I suggest it, you're always too busy.'
'I accepted...your invitation...this time.'
'Playing a game only now and then isn't going to help you. You need exercise on a regular basis. You were working to improve your tennis game there for a while. What happened to that?'
She leaned back against the turbolift wall and dabbed at her sweaty brow with the small hand towel she carried in her belt. 'Too much work to do, Chakotay.'
'Delegate more of it to me. That's what I'm here for,' he chided gently.
'Duly noted. I'll try to load you down with responsibilities to keep your mind off hover ball for a while, at least,' she grinned at him.
The turbolift doors opened to the officers' quarters. 'See you on the bridge in one hour, Commander,' she said as she headed off in the direction of her private suite.
B'Elanna Torres entered the bridge at the same moment as the Captain. Chakotay was already seated, scanning his chairside monitor.
'Yes, B'Elanna, what is it?' Janeway asked her Chief Engineer.
'I have good news, Captain - we've completed repairs on the shuttles that were salvaged, and we rebuilt four with parts from those beyond repair. There were quite a few, as you recall.'
Janeway nodded, her eyebrow cocked in a quirky expression as she recalled just how many, indeed.
'Go on.'
B'Elanna's reply was short. 'We need a test pilot.'
Janeway cast a quick glance at Tom Paris. He was undoubtedly the best pilot on board, and the area of space they were traversing was unremarkable; vast and empty. Still, she preferred him to remain at the helm rather than perform routine tests on equipment repaired by B'Elanna's competent crew. Besides, from the way he shrunk down in his chair, he didn't seem to be in the mood to volunteer.
B'Elanna, almost as if reading her mind, said, 'You know who the second best pilot is, Captain. May I borrow him?'
Janeway turned to Chakotay who sat expectantly awaiting her orders. 'Looks like he's eager for the job. You have him, B'Elanna. Chakotay, report to the shuttle bay.'
With a quick 'Aye, Captain!' Chakotay accompanied B'Elanna to the turbolift.
The small craft darted out of Voyager's shuttlebay doors and veered a short distance away from the ship. In preliminary maneuvers, it darted here and there, turning, stopping, diving and soaring. Then it paused for a moment before shooting off into space at warp speed.
So far, Chakotay had put three of the rebuilt shuttles through a similar trial run and had found them stable and in perfect working order, even at warp. It soon became apparent that this one wasn't going to follow suit. Warp four had been successfully sustained, but as the speed now diminished the shuttle began to lurch. Chakotay slowed and banked the vessel for the return trip, checking systems as he did so. At full impulse, the stabilizers failed, spiraling the small vessel out of control. Chakotay brought the tiny craft to a halt and tried hailing Voyager. Silence greeted him. He tried his own comm badge to no avail.
'Great,' he said to the shuttle. 'Why couldn't you reveal your flaws a little closer to the ship?'
He wasn't unduly worried; he was within Voyager's scans and they would come after him when he didn't return in the expected time. Suddenly, the helm went dark and one by one, every system in the ship shut down, save life support. His hands danced over the controls, none of which responded. It didn't make sense. He trusted B'Elanna's work implicitly; even if she hadn't personally done the repairs, she always closely supervised the work. Unless...
He peered through the helm window. What was that bearing down on him from the distance? No way to tell with nothing on scans and all systems down. He could do nothing but watch the object approach. It was a third the size of Voyager and moved swiftly and silently toward him. Something like a tractor beam emerged from the bottom of the inverted, conical object, reaching for the shuttle like a bolt of lightning.
It hit before he could react, bathing the shuttle in white-hot light, gripping it like a giant claw and whisking it along several lightyears past the shuttle's testing range. The light vanished, and the beam released the shuttle. Inside, Chakotay sat stunned and unmoving, no longer aware of anything, least of all the purple haze surrounding him. His atoms were disbursed and carried into the matterstream of the alien transfer beam. He materialized lying on a softly carpeted floor. The vessel silently whooshed away, leaving the shuttle dark, silent and adrift in space.
On the bridge, Janeway tapped her comm badge, smiling. 'How are the test runs coming, B'Elanna?'
That's right, Captain, call before I can report, thought B'Elanna in irritation. Her report would have to go through now, ready or not. She had hoped for more time. She took a deep breath.
'The tests were fine, Captain - but - something's apparently gone wrong. Chakotay's last run is overdue.'
'How much overdue?' The Captain didn't sound worried - yet - just concerned.
'It's been almost half an hour; I was going to give him a little more time before I notified you.'
'Hail the shuttle, Mr. Kim,' Janeway ordered.
'Aye, Captain.' Several moments passed, while Janeway stared at Kim, waiting. He repeated the hail three times. 'No reply, Captain,' he reported.
'B'Elanna, which shuttle was being tested?' asked Janeway through the comm.
'The Sacajawea, Captain. It tested out in the pre-flight check and the comm system was working perfectly. I don't know what could have gone wrong.'
'Apparently something went wrong, or he wouldn't be late. Mr. Kim - begin long range scans for that shuttle.'
'Aye, Captain...'
Soft, muted lights with a pinkish cast over everything. Soft pillows cradling his reclining body, indistinct, musically metallic sounds in the background, hunger and thirst! These sensations meander through Chakotay's mind as he slowly comes back to awareness after two days of oblivion. He sits up, grimacing as pain lances through his head. His body is speaking volumes, but his mind is almost a blank. He looks down at his hands, disoriented. As if he were intoxicated, he rises slowly, looking in all directions. The circular room adds to his disorientation. Something grabs his attention and holds it long enough for him to walk unsteadily toward it. On bare feet he walks across the fluffy floor to a shiny reflective surface on the wall. He peers at the face of the man staring back: dark skin, black, stiffly straight hair, full lips. His fingers glide over the unfamiliar features. What is this marking?! His mind screams with the new awareness that he does not know himself. He has faint, vague memories and instincts, but cannot grasp the situation well enough to make sense of it before a section of the wall dissolves to admit a humanoid being.
He stands expectantly, hoping for answers from this being. He has not lost the power of speech, but at the moment he can't call up words. The being is female, slender, willowy, and petite. Light hair cascades down her back. A delicate, horizontal ridge adorns her forehead, almost at the hairline. Her skin is an odd color: very pale, like the cream she poured into his coffee in her ready room, joking that it was the finest organic suspension in the galaxy...but sparkly, like the cubes of sugar that accompanied it... He closes his eyes and shakes his head; the brief flash of memory has come and gone. She is speaking in an unknown tongue. Another vague memory stirs and he taps his chest automatically, where once a tight uniform covered him and a Universal Translator would have allowed him to understand her language. Now nothing but soft material draped over his shoulders and belted at the waist. Short panels of material continue below the belt and fall front and back. He is examining his clothing distractedly, obviously not listening to her. She understands, and triggers a key on her belt. Now her language is recognizable, but understanding the language and understanding everything else are two different things. He looks at her quizzically. She smiles and takes him by the hand and leads him to the resting pad.
They sit together and she hums to him while she opens a small container and extracts a miniature instrument. He is entranced by the pleasant tone of her voice and makes no protest as the stinging probe enters his temple. He winces at the brief pain then relaxes. The headache vanishes. An awareness dawns in his mind, a knowledge. Now he understands. He is here for one reason: to be with her. She explains that she is Kaia, Crown Princess of the Konoz people. Her species does not live on planets but in vessels very much like the one in which only the two of them now travel. No servants or family reside with them. The computer sees to all operations. Her journey has been one of seeking. Her father is Ruler of the Konoz and indulges his only child until the day she succeeds him, which is expected to be soon, surely no more than five measures. Her mother no longer exists, for her life span fell short. Her father's only requirement is for her to be mated. It is for this reason she has embarked upon this journey.
Kaia has been disappointed, for the journey has not met her expectations. She has spent many measures roaming the galaxy without finding a mate - until now. The loneliness has been all-encompassing. Finally he has arrived. He will provide her with what she needs and will be with her upon her Coronation. Kaia indicates that he may speak now but hesitantly, he tells her he can't remember who he is. Such a mellow, soft voice he has! She hastens to reassure him.
'I know, my newfound, but do not allow this to concern you. I have saved you from your servitude and from the blackness outside. I will name you to suit myself. You are mine, now, are you not? For now, you are to rest, relax and nourish yourself.'
A gesture from her brings a floating automated tray to rest in front of him. She lifts the heavy lid, releasing fragrant aromas of succulent food. His body takes over and he begins to eat, ravenously. She watches him, smiling and nodding, stroking his shoulder.
'I am no longer alone, my newfound.'
Three days passed with no sign of Commander Chakotay. Janeway, sick with worry, stood staring out of her ready room window. A forgotten cup of coffee was cooling on her desk. Her ready room door chimed, and distractedly, she barked a quick response, 'Yes?'
The doors parted and Tuvok paused at the threshold, as if unsure whether to enter. Shaking her head at her rare lapse and impatient of protocol for once, she blurted out the question at the forefront of her mind: 'Has there been any word at all from Chakotay?'
Tuvok entered, padd in hand. 'Negative, Captain. We have scanned five sectors and are in the process of charting a new area for long range scans.'
'He's got to be out there somewhere, Tuvok. There are no planetary systems for lightyears in this sector - nothing that the shuttle could have crashed on, not even an asteroid! He can't just have vanished!'
'There may be the possibility of an undetected wormhole that could have taken the shuttle, Captain - or some other spatial anomaly of which we are not aware. Then again, the shuttle may simply be adrift, beyond our scans. If that is the case, Captain, we will not stop searching until we find it.'
She nodded briefly. 'Continue scanning - and I want reports on the hour.'
'Aye, Captain.'
Chakotay stood in the center of the room while Kaia circled him, nodding her approval at his appearance. She had dressed him in the new fabric, striped in thin reds and soft browns and flecked with glitter. The garment lay in strips over both shoulders and crossed at the navel, where a wide belt held it closed at the sides. From there the wide panels dropped to mid-thigh. Soft, leather-like boots were laced to the knee. She smoothed the rich material over his broad back, her hands gliding down his bare arms, then stood back and admired her handiwork.
'These colors suit you, Kalig. Do you agree?'
Chakotay turned before the large reflective surface that rose from the floor. His hand brushed the front of the velvety material that sparkled gently in the light.
'It's a handsome garment, Kaia...' He smiled suddenly and crossed the floor to her, taking her face in his hands. 'You have done so much for me - you saved me from the blackness outside - gave me food, drink - love - why? When I can't even tell you who I am?'
'But I know who you are, my newfound. You are Kalig, my dark one, are you not? You have liked being here with me, then?' Her fingers traced the strange set of markings over his eye that never failed to intrigue her. He kissed her gently, lightly, over her cheeks, her chin and finally her lips. He held his face close to hers. 'I never want to leave,' he murmured.
'You never will. We will have measures and measures together.'
He swept her into his arms and spun her around, his heart soaring with joy. 'Tell me. Have I always been in love with you?'
'Since first we met,' she answered truthfully, coyly. Her arms went around his neck and her kisses set him on fire. A few steps brought them to the resting pad, where they fell together on the soft cushions, first playfully wrestling, laughing then lapsing into a tense silence after which the only sounds that echoed through the ship were the groans of passion...
It is the normal sleep period on the Konoz vessel, and Chakotay is dreaming. He walks through a multi-colored swirl of maroons and golds and blues, which finally coalesce into patterns. These become the images of people lined up on either side of him as he walks down a long corridor. The colors settle on their shoulders and everything else is black except for the floor and walls. All of this is vaguely familiar somehow; and the faces he sees in passing are somehow recognizable. He senses a bond between himself and these beings - a closeness - a yearning. He misses them. How could he miss them if he doesn't know them? Far ahead, one of them steps out of the line and stands directly in his path. He advances between the human walls, looking right and left, then halts. There she is in front of him - a small one with reddish hair pulled high, four little round decorations on her collar, standing with arms akimbo and frowning at him. What the hell is she calling him on the carpet for now?
'Awaken, my newfound.'
His mind instantly emptied itself of the disturbing dream at her touch and he reached for his one with both arms, pulling her down to him, enveloping her in a tight embrace. He was filled with joy at the anticipation of yet another union. Her hands slid under his tunic and he released the fastenings at her shoulders, letting the pale gown slip down to the floor. Rising from the soft cushions, he leaned forward to caress her, burying his face in her soft flesh. She watched him, enjoying the contrast of his skin against hers, and the long strands of pale hair falling about his dark face.
Such lovely sculptured lips, nothing like any of her species, who were so delicately featured and so uninteresting! His brow and chin were strong; the black hair made him look invincible. The fabrics in which she clothed him suited him so well - dark greens, browns and an occasional scarlet. The usual pale colors issued by the textile generator did not suit him. She kept him in the togas, although many other masculine styles were certainly available in the databanks. She simply liked the simplicity of this style, which revealed much of his powerful physique and allowed her easy access to his body whenever she wanted - which was frequent. He never refused.
She marveled again at her good fortune! The long, lonely measures and futile search were at last over. It was but a small concern to avoid the searches of the large ship and keep him on the medication after the initial probe; otherwise he could slowly regain the prior identity. Being telepathic, she was aware that it threatened to surface in his deepest sleep, and she hoped steady doses of medication and hypnotic suggestions would annihilate it once and for all.
Her musings were cut short, for his mouth and hands were stimulating her beyond thought. Even in the hedonistic society in which she lived, she had never before met anyone like him. His species must be incredible beings, for he never ceased to take her breath with all the different ways he knew of giving her pleasure. She cried softly when it ended, and he looked at her worriedly, asking what was wrong.
'Nothing is wrong,' she assured him. 'You give me great pleasure. I am already anticipating our next union.' Now was a good time to cultivate the theory of the dream, to explain away the prior identity still trying to surface. 'But I worry about you, my newfound,' she confessed, 'when during those times when you are in rest...sometimes you call to someone else. Sometimes you speak out of your nightmare to her, as though she were real. Am I falling short of pleasing you, my newfound? Am I not everything a woman could be to you? Am I not real, and not a dream?'
He enveloped her in his arms. 'You are my reality and I love you,' he said, running his hands through her hair. 'The strange dreams I have been having will pass, for I will not allow them to return to worry you.'
Satisfied, she kissed him, and they clung tightly together to rest before the meal and their next union.
Janeway paced her ready room. It had been over three weeks, and in her heart she knew she might have to concede defeat - and soon. She could not keep Voyager circling forever, searching. She must accept the fact that Chakotay - her First Officer, her strong right arm and dearest friend - had been lost. How, she did not know. He had vanished as if a black hole had swallowed him - a theory she had initially considered unlikely, but in all probability now, as a fact. A preliminary report for Starfleet records had already been drafted, recording his disappearance and the unsuccessful steps taken to recover him. In it she had detailed his exemplary service, and a eulogy for the anticipated memorial had been prepared. Tuvok had taken over as Acting First Officer, and would be granted full promotion if...
The sound of the comm system startled her. 'Captain - we've found Chakotay's shuttle,' reported Harry. Black hole be damned! she thought. 'I'm on my way!' Handing off the bridge to Tuvok, she all but ran to the turbolift.
The small vessel had been tractored in. B'Elanna was already completing the last of the scans when Janeway arrived breathlessly in the shuttle bay. 'What have you found, B'Elanna?'
'This shuttle is in perfect working order, Captain. Aside from some metal fatigue, there's no indication of any malfunction.'
'Then what happened to it? Where is Chakotay?'
'I have a theory, Captain - a scan of the systems, base metals and of the inside of the shuttle show energy signatures of a type I've never seen before, but I'm certain of one thing - this shuttle has been tampered with. There are also faint energy signatures of some type of transporter. That plus the metal fatigue leads me to believe the shuttle was pulled this far out of range and that Chakotay was beamed out of the shuttle.'
'Where?! By whom? And for what reason?'
'Captain – for now, these are unanswerable questions. We're working on it. With this new information, I can recalibrate the long range sensors to look for these particular patterns. Don't worry, Captain. We'll find him.'
Chakotay lay close beside Kaia, gazing up at the starfield through the skylight in the conical ship, relaxed and content. The dreams and hallucinations that had plagued him had all but ceased. He believed himself to be Kalig, the dark one sent by the blackness outside to be the one for Kaia, who showered him with love and devotion. These feelings he returned to her freely. The instinct he once had to suppress them - in servitude to some faintly-remembered set of rules - he now dismissed, giving himself to her with utter abandon. Here was everything he could want. He wanted no reminders of what might have been before.
Kaia raised her head. The sound of the musical chime signaling outside communication was so rarely heard; her ship was being hailed. It could be her father, but...suddenly wary, she rose, clothed herself, and stepped to the panel in the wall while Chakotay watched from the resting pad, puzzled.
The screen emerged from the wall and flickered for a moment. Kaia sent adjustments through the circuits and the image cleared. It was as she feared. She recognized the stern-faced woman with the strange hair and red and black shoulders she had seen on the scans sent – undetected - to the ship that had brought her Kalig. Despite her efforts, he had been traced! The translator sent the words in the Konoz language; the woman had comparable equipment to her own. Cap-tain-Kath-ryn-Jane-way...Star-ship-Voy-ah-ger.
Chakotay called to her to join him on the resting pad, but Kaia gestured him to remain quiet. The woman was speaking again, at once with impeccable courtesy yet with an edge to her voice, as if she were angry.
'I am looking for a member of my crew. Our sensors show he is aboard your ship. May I speak with him?'
Kaia haughtily glanced from the screen to Chakotay and back again. Mystified, he rose from the bed and came to stand close behind her, in range of the viewer. Janeway breathed a sigh of relief to see him alive after so long and apparently in the best of health. But had he been rescued or kidnapped? The pale woman merely stood there, refusing to speak, so Janeway addressed Chakotay directly.
'Chakotay! We thought we'd lost you. Stand by - we'll beam you over with a skeletal lock.'
A look of utter confusion passed over his face and Janeway's blood ran cold at his words. 'Do I know you? Kaia, what is this? Explain this to me.'
Janeway studied his eyes and facial expression. Not a flicker of recognition could she detect. Not only the shuttle was tampered with, she thought. She watched him glance down at the silent alien and heard him whisper in her ear. 'Is this anything to concern ourselves with?' Kaia had remained silent through the brief exchange but now shook her head as if to reassure him, glaring defiantly at the viewscreen. Janeway saw him slide his arms around the pale alien and hold her close, ignoring the woman in black and red, burying his face in Kaia's hair. The look in his eyes disturbed Janeway, for there was an expression in them she had never seen before; a mindless look of utter peace and contentment as she had once observed on Molly's face: Molly, her Irish Setter, lying in front of a blazing fire.
Kaia gave Janeway a sidelong glance and finally spoke: 'You apparently have found the incorrect person, Cap-tain-Kath-ryn.' Janeway saw her turn into Chakotay's arms; watched as his hands strafed the alien, kissing her passionately before the screen went blank.
Tuvok, impervious to the blatant sexuality portrayed on the screen, spoke up, anticipating Janeway's command. 'She has some unfamiliar technology, but most of her systems are comparable to ours, Captain - and she has no weaponry to speak of. I believe she would be unable to prevent us from beaming aboard to retrieve the Commander.'
Janeway stood staring at the empty viewscreen for a moment, then began barking orders.
'Tom, you have the conn. Tuvok, you're with me. I'm going over there now.'
A moment later, the two officers materialized in front of the couple, still standing locked together, oblivious to their newly-come visitors. Tuvok's brow went up and Janeway cleared her throat. Kaia pulled herself away from Chakotay to harshly address the intruders.
'Begone! You were not invited here!'
'Chakotay?' asked Janeway softly to him, ignoring the alien.
He stared at her for a brief moment, then spoke to Kaia. 'What is happening?'
Kaia was furious at the intrusion. Never in all the measures would she have thought this woman would simply appear to intrude on their privacy! She spoke haughtily to Janeway. 'I said begone! You cannot have him! He is mine! He is my one!'
Tuvok calmly approached Chakotay, tricorder in hand. The indications on the unit clearly showed a mind wipe and drug intervention. 'Commander, do you know who you are?' asked Tuvok.
'I do,' replied Chakotay. 'I am Kalig, Kaia's one. She is to be Ruler in five measures and I will be with her.'
'You are Commander Chakotay of the Starship Voyager. You have been subjected to mind manipulation by this woman. We are here to return you to our ship.'
'No,' said Chakotay firmly. 'I must remain here. I'm in love with Kaia. I'm her one, chosen for her when she brought me in from the blackness outside.' Chakotay approached Kaia from behind and wrapped his arms around her. 'I do not know either of you. Do as she bids and leave us.'
Tuvok and Janeway exchanged a glance. She spoke to Kaia. 'I think understand what has happened here. You needed a mate, didn't you? I can see that he hasn't been mistreated; on the contrary - you seem to have made him exceptionally happy. However - I cannot allow him to remain here with you. This isn't right.'
'Why not, if he is content to stay with me? He is mine. You heard him. He wants to stay.'
'That isn't the issue. He's being manipulated by you. He didn't choose this. You chose it for him. He belongs with his own kind.'
'You may once have owned him, but he is no longer yours. How could he be of your species? He looks like none of those on your ship! He can easily be mine as yours!'
'So you've been monitoring us.'
'Yes, trying to avoid your searches to keep him with me. I know what he is to you. Nothing more than a servant,' she sneered.
'I assure you, Kaia, Chakotay is not a servant. He is second in command of my ship. He is much more to me - to all of us - than he could ever be to you. And he doesn't look like us because our species is made up of many different races. Tuvok is of yet another species - Vulcan - which is also represented in many races, many colors. Chakotay is human, like myself and several others aboard our ship. He is of a race from far away; he represents the only one of his kind in this part of the galaxy. He is a unique individual. And...he belongs with us.'
'He does not want to leave.'
'Not with your mind-altering treatments, I'm sure. Keeping him here under these circumstances is a criminal act according to our society.'
'You have many others to take his place. He's the only one I want! I am royalty, Cap-tain-Jane-way. I will have him for my own!'
'I'm sorry, but you will not. Royalty has nothing to do with it. Tuvok, now!'
During the debate, Tuvok had slowly circled behind Chakotay and now locked an arm around his neck. Chakotay struggled violently, but could not break the hold of the powerful Vulcan. He reached for Kaia with both arms even as she reached for him, wailing her anguish, but Janeway pulled her back. Tuvok administered his paralyzing pinch at the top of the shoulder and Chakotay dropped to the floor. Tuvok knelt beside him and tapped his comm badge. 'Voyager! Two to beam directly to sickbay!'
Kaia screamed as she watched Chakotay vanish along with the stern black being into a swirl of light.
Powerless, Kaia turned to Janeway, tears of defeat streaming down her cheeks.
'I'm sorry, Kaia,' said Janeway, almost kindly. 'You will have to find someone else to fill your life.'
'He was happy here; he made me happy. I needed him. He was my newfound.'
'Believe it or not, Kaia - I need him far more than you, and in ways you can't possibly imagine - or understand.' With that, Janeway tapped her comm badge. 'Voyager - energize.'
Kaia sank down in her rich fabric and sobbed uncontrollably. The last faint words of Janeway could be heard echoing from the transporter beam, 'I'm sorry...'
Janeway immediately ordered a force field erected around the ship to prevent further interference from Kaia. At Warp Nine, Voyager soon outdistanced the Konoz vessel. Breathing a sigh of relief, she headed for sickbay.
The EMH hovered around the biobed on which Chakotay lay naked under a thermal cover. Janeway entered and stood close by the biobed, her hand resting on Chakotay's chest. 'What can be done for him, Doctor?'
'I've had to induce a coma in order for his brain to heal. The effects of the drugs will diminish now that he's not getting any more, but the initial mind sweep burned parts of his brain, including the memory center. I'm infusing fresh brain cells from a previous DNA sample. It may take some time, but I believe the Commander's memory can be restored.' The Doctor showed Janeway the monitor indicating Chakotay's brain patterns. Clearly marked were several dark areas, notably in the frontal lobe.
The Doctor continued in his usual pedantic manner. 'Unfortunately, at the moment, Commander Chakotay still believes himself to be Kalig, the dark one. He was demanding to be returned to Kaia. Given time and proper treatment, however, and the familiarity of being back on board, he should be able to reorient himself.'
'Thank you, Doctor.' The EMH stepped away and Janeway leaned over the still form on the biobed.
'Come back to me, Chakotay,' she whispered into his ear, 'I need you.'
Janeway enlisted the help of the entire crew to work with Chakotay. After several months of treatment and reorientation, Chakotay had regained much of his memory. The Doctor at last pronounced him fit for command and he assumed his duties almost as if nothing had happened. He had of course been briefed on the basics of the incident, of which he remembered virtually nothing. Janeway thought it best to keep from him the details, which the Doctor feared would trigger a relapse.
Chakotay walked with her to the bridge after the final visit to sickbay. 'We thought we had lost you for good, Commander,' Janeway remarked. 'We're all glad you're back.'
'Good to be back, Captain - although the last thing I remember was being stranded after that last test run. Were you able to recover the shuttle?'
'Yes, Tom brought it in.'
'Good. I think I'll let him take over any more test runs!' Janeway grinned at the familiar wit, thankful for his return to the ship and to himself.
His hoverball game certainly hadn't suffered, Janeway thought wryly, as he continued to trounce her at every opportunity. She hadn't yet found time for a steady regimen of exercise, and her lack of stamina still cost her dearly. He took charge of this, as he had so many other things, by assigning Tuvok the bridge and taking her, protesting, to the holodeck for calisthenics. Tuvok frowned at this breach of protocol, but Janeway waved it off. She was too glad to have him back, touched by his loyalty and devotion, which seemed not to have been lost but somehow enhanced by his experience. The old camaraderie was back in full force, and Janeway again found herself leaning on his steady presence.
Sitting and chatting with Janeway over coffee in her ready room had become a frequent part of his treatment, a practice that continued even after Chakotay had fully recovered. However, on rare occasion, he would grow silent and stare blankly at the pale cream and sparkles of sugar with which she laced his cup. Kaia!
Then the coffee would assume golden smoothness, the brief vision would vanish, and he would continue the conversation as if nothing had happened.
These brief interludes of blank silence would signal Janeway that he was still, deep within himself, struggling with the false identity. He was perhaps remembering on a subconscious level, his time on the Konoz ship, forcibly kidnapped and under the influence of mind-altering drugs - true, but so in deeply in love with Kaia and happier than she'd ever seen him.
She had always stood by her actions, but at such times she would idly wonder if retrieving him had been the right thing to do. Was her need of him worth more than his happiness? Could their close friendship, warm and satisfying though it was, ever ripen into love? Could that love ever compare with what he had had with Kaia? Could she ever give him that kind of contentment? Could anyone?
The End
