Disclaimer: I do not, and I never will, own FFIV.

A/N: Here, have an unconventional pairing! For the RydiaxEdge forum V-Day prompts. This prompt: first baby. Possibly obstacles.

"You defiler of sisters!"

Kain ducked behind a wall as Palom's firaga spell blasted through the castle, smoke rising from the bottom of his singed tunic. Rosa's eyes flickered from her childhood friend to Porom, whose face had gone chalk white at the intrusion. "What is that idiot doing?" the younger white mage whispered to herself.

"Did you tell him?" Rosa wanted to know. Porom shook her head vigorously.

"I haven't told anyone!" she protested. "Just you!"

Rosa sighed and wrapped a comforting arm around Porom's shoulders. "Well, it looks like he found out somehow," she murmured as the sage-in-training flew after Kain in a rage, hurling spell after spell at the dragoon, his face contorted with fury.

"She's a grown woman, Palom!" Kain finally shouted, clearly exasperated as he dodged another blast of fire. Heat seared Rosa's cheek as the fireball passed the two white mages at an uncomfortably close distance. She pulled Porom back a few steps, worried that the younger woman might get herself inadvertently hurt if she didn't move. "Honestly, why pick now of all times to throw a fit over something that's been going on for several years?"

"Because she's my twin!" Palom shouted back, forgoing spells in favor of chasing Kain with his ice rod. Despite the seriousness of the situation, Rosa had to bite back a giggle at the scene unfolding in front of her. "And she'll always be my twin!"

Kain stared at him. "That makes about as much sense as Edge on a good day," the dragoon complained, dodging Palom's inexpert wacks with ease. Rosa's eyebrow rose as Palom actually threw his rod at Kain – who, of course, dodged it – before diving into what she recognized as a very damaging spell.

Sure enough, seconds later a whirlwind twisted into being , pulling up the rugs and furniture with it as it tried to engulf Kain. "Palom!" Porom shouted, her voice getting lost in the roar of winds as the back of a chair hit Kain in the side, knocking him off balance and drawing him up into the vortex that Rosa was only managing to stay out of by clinging to a pillar. Porom's arms wrapped around her as the younger mage used her as an anchor. "Enough!"

"But he –"

"I don't care!" Porom had to shriek to be heard over the tornado that was tearing up Rosa's home. "You don't cast magic inside!"

"Okay, so I'll take it outside –"

"No!"

Palom groaned and let the spell go. Kain hit the floor in a lump of dragoon, and, wincing, got to his feet. Rosa cautiously let go of the pillar as Porom picked her way past the rubble and faced her brother with a glare, saying something about responsibility and being an idiot that Rosa ignored in favor of gazing wistfully at the ruined ceiling. "And we just had the mural painted," she mused with a sigh, bringing her attention back to the twins. "Palom, you do realize that you're going to have to pay for all these damages," she told him as she made her way over to Kain, considering him carefully. "Are you all right?"

"Fine," Kain replied shortly, looking over her shoulder at the twins. His expression softened to one of bewilderment. "Do you know what I did?" he demanded, switching his attention back to Rosa. Rosa shrugged innocently.

"You mean Palom didn't tell you?"

He shook his head sharply. "Little brat attacked me out of nowhere and started screaming about how I'd defiled his sister." His lips thinned. "It's been three years. He knows that."

Rosa turned her back on Kain to face the bickering siblings, noting with relief that the color had returned to Porom's skin. "Something's changed, obviously," she commented tartly. "Either figure it out or go ask –"

"But I'm too young to be an uncle!" Palom wailed, his words more than his glare freezing Kain solid next to her. Porom, on the other hand, only froze for an instant before she hit Palom over the head and spun away to face the wall, folding her arms over her chest and hunching slightly in a miserable manner. Rosa wasn't sure whether to laugh or not, so she settled instead for shaking Kain by the shoulder gently.

"Kain."

He didn't respond.

Rosa's lips twitched. "I think you broke him, Palom."

Palom scowled and took the two long strides over to the pair of them in order to poke his cheek rudely. "Good," he muttered. "He deserves to be broken."

"How did you find out, anyway?" Rosa asked, curious. "Porom said she hadn't told anybody."

Palom rolled his eyes. "I'm not stupid," he informed her, raising his voice so that his sister could hear. "She was acting all weird, and it's not like I haven't seen pregnant ladies before."

Porom glared at him. "We're twenty-two," she told him tartly. Kain shifted when she spoke, his eyes training themselves onto her robed form. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with this other than –"

" – you guys aren't even married – "

" – why you can't at least act your age– "

" But you're my sister!" Palom finally exploded, waving his hands wildly in the air. "And he's Kain!"

"You weren't overly concerned with it before," Porom snapped.

Palom stared at her. "Yeah, well, you weren't this before," he retorted, pointing accusingly at her midsection.

Before Porom could reply, Kain cleared his throat. Rosa glanced over at him, pleased that the shock was wearing off. "Porom," he croaked. "Why – why didn't you tell me?"

The white mage's cheeks flushed pink and she shot one last glare at her brother before reluctantly turning to face her lover. "Because," she finally said. "You're – well, you're you."

Rosa couldn't help grinning at Kain, feeling more like a child than she had in years, her mischief rising within her as a result. "Cat got your tongue?" she teased as Kain stared, jaw working soundlessly for a few moments before he clamped his mouth shut and sent a swift, narrowed look her way.

"What does that even mean?" Kain wanted to know, returning his eyes to Porom.

Porom just shook her head wearily. "I don't know anymore," she admitted. "I thought… I don't know what I thought."

"She was scared," Rosa told Kain bluntly. "She's still scared. Go on, go somewhere private, kiss her, hold her, tell her you love her and that you want this, and everything will resolve itself."

Kain's lips twitched. "Bossy," he murmured. Nonetheless, he reached out past Palom, drew Porom close, and hugged her for a long moment before dropping a kiss to her forehead and silently leading her out of the castle. Rosa watched them leave, then turned her attentions to Palom.

"You," she said warningly.

"Me?" Palom grinned at her innocently. She narrowed her eyes.

"Clean up this mess. Now."

Palom stuck out his tongue. "You're such a mother," he complained loudly as he turned to pick up a chair.

Rosa's lip twitched. "Just like your sister will be," she pointed out, unable to resist the barb.

The loud groan that followed turned her smirk into a grin as she set about cleaning up the place to the melodious sounds of Palom's endless whining.