Title: Hate
Author: Femvamp
Disclaimer: The usual I don't own show, it I did the subtext would be a little more maintext.
Spoilers: Season 2, Episode 12: Reset
A/M: Not sure about this one.
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As she drove away from the only place that had ever really felt like home, images of H.G. Wells kept entering her mind. She tried to will them away but the images kept coming. All the little moments that had made her like her….love her; and it was love. Oh, God how it was love….and Myka hated her for that.
Driving away from the Warehouse was the hardest thing she had ever had to do but it was the right thing to do. Myka didn't trust herself anymore, how could she ask the others to trust her? Her judgment was compromised….it had only happened that one time; but it was enough. That one night they had spent together was enough to make Myka fall completely.
She had never felt like this about anyone before, not Sam and certainly not Kurt. HG…Helena had been the only person who made her feel…..beautiful, loved, alive. She made her feel….everything.
And now she felt everything but it was the wrong kind of everything. The darker everythings because all she felt was anger, hurt and hatred; and she felt it toward the people she loved the most. She couldn't be around them right now, especially Pete and Artie.
She knew they blamed her, how could they not? She blamed herself. She had trusted that woman she had convinced the others to trust her; and they had…all except Artie. He had been right from the start about her, and a part of Myka hated him for that. She knew it was irrational but she hated Artie for being right about HG,
She hated Pete too, because she knew he wouldn't blame her in the least even though he should; he had a good thing going, a woman who he loved and who loved him and because of her it was ruined. If HG hadn't gotten involved they would still be together, she would be his one; and yet she knew deep down inside that Pete didn't blame her for that; and she hated him for that.
She hated them all, Mrs Fredric, Claudia, Leena, Pete, Artie; they had been like a strange little family all of them and then she had to convince them to allow HG Wells in and ruined it all. It was all her fault. All because she had fallen for the woman's seductions. A pretty face. A gentle touch.
Oh God how HG had touched her,
But it had all been a lie.
And now she had nothing.
It was what she deserved.
They were both getting what they deserved.
HG being bronzed and Myka walking away from the only place she had ever really called home. She briefly considered going back and asking them to bronze her as well that way maybe at least that way the two of them could be together, then again why did she deserve even that? She didn't deserved even that little bit of happiness.
No, this is what she deserved; to be alone.
To have no one.
She didn't deserve her happy place.
She didn't deserve the person who almost made her a happy person.
All she deserved was the anger bubbling inside of her. The hate creeping up in her insides. The hate she felt for her friends.
And the hate she felt for herself, because it was herself that she could never forgive.
It was herself that she hated the most.
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