Restless
The tracks at 12 had cracked again. Old metal and dry heat didn't mix well in the coal district and the train back to the capital had once more been cancelled
"How long!?" Effie demanded to know.
There was a party she was due to attended later that evening and Effie hated missing parties.
"As long as it takes, sweetheart" Haymitch answered tiresomely. He was already growing sick and tired of the sight of her and they'd only been in each other's direct company for over an hour.
See, It was part of Effies job to make sure her mentor reached his district, safe and sound before she could sign off for the weekend. Luckily, the train ride over to 12 was empty enough for them to have separate compartments, they'd had a few papers to sign at the justice hall and a short meet with the mayor and then Effie liked to have her routine freshen up in Haymitchs bathroom before he helped lug her case back to the station to send her on her way.
"This god forsaken sham of a district" Effie mumbled under her breath but loud enough or Haymitch to hear. She knew it gave him pleasure when she was thrown off schedule. How it irritated her so. Effie despised this part of her role but Haymitch wasn't any more happy with it either. He despised having a baby sitter. They generally tried to make the process as quick and as painful as possible for each other...apart from when the trains were cancelled...that's when their frustration collided.
"Is there going to be a replacement hovercraft? A car? Something?" She moaned
"Got a broomstick you can hop on if you really like" he chided back
"That is not the answer I was looking for, Haymitch-"
"We'll what answer would you like?! I am not a min reader! I don't see into the future! I cannot tell you how long it's going to be for them to fix the god damned train track and no, there will probably be no replacement hovercraft or car, unfortunately for you, this godforsaken little district can't afford such luxuries" He yelled at her irritably, throwing his hands up in surrender "now go check yourself into the inn or something coz quite frankly, you're driving me crazy!" He picked up her case and slid it towards the exit of the station
Effie just stood there, open mouthed and red faced "well!" She hissed "that's no way to speak to a lady! I'll gladly get out of your sight, your lack of manners infuriates me!"
She teetered towards the exit and attempted to lift her heavy case
"You're no lady, Trinket!" Haymitch called, watching her struggle "and besides, god for saken districts like this one can't afford manners either!" He jested but she ignored him and had managed to wedge the door with one heel as she tried to haul out her case.
It was an amusing sight, watching her stumble around on her ridiculous stilettos as the door kept hitting her in the butt. The first time she dropped her case, it was funny, the second time, it was irritating, the third time just drove him to the point of despair
"For crying out loud woman!" Haymitch strode over, lifting the case from the floor and lugging it under his arm. "Come on"
"What do you mean, no rooms?"
"Exactly what I just said, Mr Abernathy" the inn keeper replied stubbornly, he looked at Effie a little more apologetically "Yours was not the only train cancelled today Miss Trinket, people got here early to grab a room, sorry, but I'm all booked up"
Effie sighed in response and took a seat in the lobby. A minute later she took her contact book out and started sieving through it.
"Hmm, I could ask Jax to come and pick me up...oh, shoot, I forgot, he's way out of the city this weekend...maybe Ocelett...hmm...but he's not spoken to me since I stood him up last week...oh Alasta might be able to but, no, no, his wife wouldn't like that..."
As she continued mumbling to herself, Haymitchs throat started to burn for the taste of alcohol. It was getting late, no capital on earth, good friend or not, would travel this far out of the city at this hour. It was just too dangerous.
It was only one night...
He was tired, sober and sick of the burden of making sure she was safe.
The small red room at the far east side of the house...he wouldn't even notice her there.
"C'mon Trinket" he suddenly declared, hauling her case away from her again "but don't think this can become a regular thing you got it?"
He started to make his way out when she jumped to her feet and protested
"Got what? What are you doing? I'm perfectly fine, I'll...I'll ind another Inn"
"There is no other inn, sweetheart. Just can it ok, your staying with me, I got 5 spare rooms, surely we can find one to your taste"
Effie hesitated, biting her lower lip. "Haymitch! I couldn't possibly- I mean, we'll... I just can't!"
"It's either my place or the street lady, what's it to be?"
He couldn't believe it when she actually had to think about it
"Look Trinket! I get that I'm not the perfect host, but I'm doing you a favour here, you could be a little more gracious!"
"I am! I mean, I'm flattered, truly, that you would even consider opening up your home to me but I-"
"Wait, wait, wait" Haymitch held up his hands, dropping her case in the process "I'm not 'opening up' anything to you sweetheart. If anyone knew about this I'd be a laughing stock, offering shelter to my distressed escort-"
"I am NOT distressed!"
"Whatever" Haymitch stopped her "look, this is as bad for my reputation as much as it is for yours so don't act all high and mighty. We got no other options here sweetheart. You either come and stay with me or you walk the streets til morning, your choice!"
"Are the rooms far apart?" She questioned worrisomely
"I'm not going to jump on you, princess!"
"No, no...I didn't mean...I'm not insinuating...I-" she gave hour was getting later and she was beat. Haymitch Aberbathy was a drinker. He'd be asleep far earlier than she would...he wouldn't be able to hear...he wouldn't...
"Ok..." She agreed. "Just this once and we tell no one, agreed?"
Haymitch laughed bitterly and picked up her case "I'll write it in blood!"
At first he thought he was dreaming. He often heard his mothers screams in his head at night but this was different. This wasn't his mother.
Realising he was awake, he sat up and strained to listen out into the darkness.
Nothing.
Maybe he had been dreaming again but just in case he climbed out of his bed and wandered towards his door. For about a minute he heard nothing more until...there it was again, loud and shrill and coming from the east side of the house.
Effie.
Haymitch rolled his eyes and opened his door. She'd probably seen a mouse or a shadow. Maybe one of the street cats had climbed in through the window again as they often do sometimes. He got to the start of the hall way when something made the hairs on his body stand on end. Effie cried out desperately, almost painfully. Surely, mice and cats weren't that scary. He found himself running.
"Effie? Effie?" He pounded on the door but it was locked
"NO! NO! STOP! PLEEEAASE!" She cried out again, forcing Haymitch to run at the door til the lock burst.
He looked around frantically, for any sign of an intruder, but the window was shut and there was no sign of any foul play. He found Effie in the bed, covers strewn to the ground as she thrashed around, seemingly trying to fight off an invisible attacker.
Nightmares.
He knew them all too well.
"Effie" he sat beside her and shook her gently "Ef, wake up"
She startled and shot up from the bed. Haymitch had to grab her by the arms to stop her from lunging at him in defence
"Hey, hey, ssshh, stop. It's me" Haymitch soothed. He forced her to look at him, snapping her out of her sleep.
"Haymitch" she gasped, taking in quick berths of air. Her skin was clammy and her hair, which seemed to have been neatly plaited to the side before bed, was now a knotted, curly tangle with the odd curl sticking to her forehead.
"Yeah, it's me, breathe"
He kept her eye contact as she slowly shook the sleep from her eyes and tried to regain a steadier breath. It was unusual for Haymitch to see Effie this way, it was unusual to have her here full stop. He felt the awkwardness slowly creep into the room and when she felt it too, she slipped quickly from the bed and wrapped herself in her nightgown.
"I need a drink" she said passively then left him in her room alone.
He found her in his kitchen after he'd gone to put on a shirt, pouring herself a glass of water.
"You need something stronger than that" he offered. Taking the glass from her hand and ushering her to a seat at the table. She accepted his help in silence, seating herself down and clasping the front of her dressing gown with a shaky hand.
Haymitch poured out the water and picked up another glass from the drainer. He poured to sizeable measures of whiskey into each glass and handed one over before seating himself across from her and taking a large gulp of his own.
"Trust me, it helps" he waved at her glass.
Effie picked it up hesitantly and took a sip, Haymitch couldn't help but smirk at the grimace she pulled after the first swallow.
They sat in silence for a moment, drinking their drinks, finding the words, any words to say to try and not make their situation even more awkward. It was Effie that spoke first.
"I didn't want you to see me like this"
Understandable, Haymitch thought. He and she never ever touched bases on a personal level, ever. They were two separate entities. Only collaborating for work, nothing more. This was the first time he'd ever even seen her out of her capital attire. No wig, no makeup, no fancy, awful clothes...
"Like...this?" He smiled, gesturing at her look, trying to make light of the situation. She wasn't the mood for jesting though, it seemed. He knew she didn't mean her state of her dress. She meant her mental state. He was a drunk and it was humiliating for people to know about his restlessness, but for a prim and proper capital escort, he imagined the embarrassment to be far worse, especially after it was he who had now become known to it.
"Does it happen often?"
"I don't want to talk about it, it's non of your business" she cut him short. He let out a sigh and was about to drop it when he had second thoughts
"No, actually, Trinket. It is my business. You're my escort and If you're not getting a good nights rest then that's going to make you cranky in the mornings and lethargic and clumsy in your work and that effects me! Got it? Also, this is my god damned house and while you're in it you'll do as I ask. Now, I want to know what bothers you at night, I want to know what you feel you have to be so terrified about"
Effie looked at him, wide eyed and angry "thank you, for that little concerned speech of yours" she mocked "but trust me, you wouldn't understand!"
"Try me"
"I said no!"
"Do you want to sleep outside?"
She opened her mouth to argue but let out a groan instead. She didn't want to fight. She'd done nothing but for the entire evening. Fighting her way through her awful nightmares. She was exhausted.
"It's the children, ok! I dream about the children!" She sat back roughly in her chair and brought her glass back up to her lips
"What about them?" He pried, placing his own drink down to study her. "What could you possible have to worry about?"
"It's not about worrying!" She snapped back, already tired of his company again "that's not what haunts me!" She continued "It's them! It's their faces! Their scared, sad and lost little faces, looking at me for answers, for mercy, torturing me!" She placed her drink down unsteadily, spilling drops upon the table
"Torturing you?"
"Yes! Torturing me! Haunting me! Chasing me! Punishing me for all that I've done, for all that my position stands for! It's horrible Haymitch! I can't cope with it anymore!"
"You can't cope?" Haymitch bit back defensively all of a sudden "what about the hundreds of families that have been torn apart? The mothers that have lost their children, brothers and sisters that have lost their brothers and sisters! do you think they've coped? Do you think they cope even now? Stop being so damn selfish Effie and get it off your conscience!" He was angry, but not at her. He probably shouldn't have bit back like that but, for some reason, he had a real problem with Capital citizens or anyone involved in the games that had a conscience.
"I knew you wouldn't understand!" Effie hissed, rising from her chair. He bit his lip to prevent himself from saying anything else but the damage was done. Effie grabbed the rest of the bottle and headed back to bed but not before pausing in the hall way to say one last thing...
"You need to understand something about us escorts, Haymitch. About us Capital citizens!" She spat, making him turn to face her "We don't love we do, we don't 'want' to love what we do...we HAVE to love what we do...does that make sense to you? You're not the only tied to these games out of fear Haymitch! Goodnight!" She left him then, slamming the door behind her.
It made a lot of sense. He understood completely, even though he wished he didn't. He didn't like to take pity on capitals, especially those involved in the running of the games. But for the first time ever he was coming to realise that Effie was only human too. And if she was, then they all were, even Snow. And he refused to pity him.
His glass was empty. Once again he was without alcohol because of that woman.
He realised he hadn't even slept before the second round of her screams started again. He wondered if he subconsciously knew that he would need to be there for her for a second time that night, a thought he quickly pushed from his mind as he ran back to her room. He was helping her, NOT caring.
The bust lock let him go straight in and he found her in a similar position from the last time, albeit beside his near empty bottle of whiskey
"Hey, hey, Effie. C'mon, wake up"
She was in deep this time. The whiskey must of helped with that.
"Effie!"
She wasn't rousing, but the sound of his voice and the feel of his presence must have made her feel threatened because she lashed out, catching him, not once but twice, with her nails, one strike to the cheek, another to his chest as she screamed out for help.
He finally managed to pin her arms down but that only made her struggle more. She started to kick him, he was losing the battle here.
"Effie! EFFIE!"
But still she slept on and still she fought him
"Fuck..." He sighed, knowing that he had no other option. He struck her across the face...too gently at first, he knew, he was being a chicken. But when she lashed out again, he hit her harder, dazzling her awake before pulling her up towards his chest so that she could see his face
"Its me!" He yelled, forcing her still "look at me, I got you. I got you" he reassured, pushing her hair from her eyes. She let out a loud whimper realising she was safe and out of pure exhaustion, or at least, that's what he told himself, she fell into his arms sobbing like a child and held on to him tightly.
"I'm sorry, im so sorry" she cried and continued to say the same thing over and over again. He just shushed and held her, gently rocking her like she was a scared infant. It was in that moment that he realised, despite their differences, he did care for her, they'd been through a lot together he and she and he didn't like to see her in pain.
"I...I hurt you!" she gasped, running her fingers along the familiar scratch lines, matching them with the sharpness of her finger nails. He thought it best not to bring up the fact that he slapped her twice. She'd probably feel that in the morning
"Don't worry about it sweetheart" he said instead, putting some distance between them because he was feeling a little awkward and exposed again. He was about to scoot further down the bed when her hand fell on his arm, stopping him. He looked at her curiously as she studied him then she gently ran her fingertips along the scratch on his cheek.
"I'm sorry..." She whispered, suddenly replacing her fingers with her lips, kissed the wound softly.
Haymitch didn't say anything. His heart was racing in all the wrong ways and when she pulled away, she didn't pull away far enough.
Their noses were almost touching and Haymitch could feel her heavy breath on his lips making them feel dry, making him want to lick them, making him want to...
He kissed her.
Quick and hard, making her draw breath, making her whimper in surprise.
She steadied her self by running her fingers into the back of his hair and holding on tight, opening her mouth to deepen their ridiculous kiss.
It was ridiculous. It was crazy. What the hell were they thinking? Doing? But, they weren't thinking, they didn't want to think. It felt so god damned good to kiss one another and to be kissed back.
His tongue stroked against hers forcing another whimper from her throat. He wrapped his arms around her back and pushed her backwards, back down onto the bed, before changing his angle and kissing her deeper.
It was all happening so fast. They lost themselves.
Kissing each other felt incredible. They carried on that way for a long long time. It was only when things were starting to get really heated that they paused, taking breath and really thought about what they were doing.
"Sorry..." He panted
"Don't be" she panted back, but they both knew better.
This was very very dangerous
"We should stop" she whispered against his lips and he nodded in agreement, sitting back and pulling her upright with him again.
They sat in silence for a minute, catching their breath, looking at one another, figuring each other out. Haymitch ran a Han through his hair and she tried to straighten out hers.
"Damn rules" he sniggered disappointedly, making her force a smile. But when he tried to stand to leave she stopped him again, coiling her fingers around his wrist.
"Stay...please. Until I fall asleep?"
It pained him to still see her so frightened. It wasn't a good thing to agree to that but he'd worry about it in the morning
"Sure..." He replied, crawling over her to lay at her back. She pulled the covers up tight to her chin then reached back for his hand and pulled it across her side.
"We shouldn't tell people about this either" she stated simply "agreed?"
He couldn't help but chuckle and could sense the smile on her own lips "I'll write it in blood, princess"
They settled down, closing their eyes, only worrying about what conversation was to come in the morning.
"Haymitch?"
"Yeah sweetheart"
"Why does my cheek hurt?"
"Get some sleep sweetheart"
They had no more nightmares that evening.
End.