Dean Winchester. That stupid, ignorant son of a bitch! Castiel had rebelled against heaven, became an enemy of all the angels, and fallen in LOVE with a man with no hope for the world. He'd gone through hell and back- literally- just to keep Dean alive and THIS is what he did? Gave up? Tried to kill himself? Castiel was so angry he could just beat the shit out of Dean's sorry ass and leave him for dead.
Except it wasn't anger.
There was PAIN inside of Castiel. An Angel of the Lord, feeling PAIN. He almost hated himself for getting this close to Dean, for holding him when he dreamt of Hell, for risking his life over and over and over for a man who didn't even give a fuck anymore.
"I REBELLED FOR THIS?!"
The angel found Dean and slammed him against a wall, holding him down and punching him. He hit Dean over and over again, with the full intention of killing him. He had to stop caring. As much as he loved Dean, this was it. This was the end. He was done.
"Please."
It was all Dean could gasp out through his bloody lips, and when he spoke the red dribbled down his chin and neck. Castiel hit him again, and he fell almost to the ground before the angel kicked him hard and sent him flying into a fence.
Almost unconscious, Dean was left lying on the ground staring up at the Angel who was about to deal the killing blow. Blood ran down his face and his eyes were swollen up as he tried to look into the face of the man he had betrayed. The man he LOVED. Emotionless as Dean was, this entire situation was breaking his heart.
"Do it."
Dean could hardly look Castiel in the eyes. He remembered the nights that he screamed and shivered and didn't sleep because he wasn't in the angel's arms. He remembered how he'd taught Castiel emotions, how Castiel had reacted the first time that they'd-
There was no time to think about all this, because the angel was about to kill him.
"Do it!"
He spat blood onto the ground and lowered his eyes. Damn it all to hell, he would NOT cry.
Castiel's hands, which were balled into fists, slowly uncurled and he reached down to touch Dean's shoulder softly. He needed Dean to be unaware. As much as it was probably necessary to kill him, he just couldn't. Stupid fucking emotions were getting in the way, and Dean was Castiel's biggest weakness.
The most he could do was get Dean out of the way for awhile, so after the Hunter fell to the ground Cas bent down to kiss his bloody lips once, twice- he broke away and carried Dean's heavy body back to Bobby's.
"What happened to him?" Sam asked when they got back.
"Me." Is all the angel could say before dumping Dean onto the bed. He wished to GOD he could've killed him. But there was no God, and Castiel's love got in the way of all his duties as an angel. If Sam and Bobby weren't there, he probably would've cleaned the blood off of Dean's face and then woken him up. And he would hold him tight. And he would NOT let go.
I love you Dean, and I hate your damned guts, Castiel sighed, and disappeared.