Is It Because I Is Black?
By Chris Devlin
E-Mail: chris_devlin@hotmail.com
Web Site: www.pokeland.org.uk
Genre: Humour - Ali G meets Pokémon
This is my third Ali G/Pokémon Fan Fic. Previous fics are "Boyakasha" and "Hear me now!!!"
The title of this fic is taken from an Ali G line (I am not racist, never have been and despise those who are). He is known for saying "Is it because I is black?" whenever somebody hassles him. The comedy in the line is that the comedian who plays Ali G (Sasha Baren Cohen) is in fact White and Jewish. In fact he has received death threats telling him to stop using the lin (How cheery).
Note: If your aren't from the UK you may not know who Ali G is (If you've seen the new Madonna video where she is in a limo with a weird guy then that's Ali G), so a lot of this humor may be lost on you. While there may appear to be lots of spelling mistakes this is the only way to convey how Ali G speaks and is deliberate. This takes the form of an Interview between Ali G and Brock.
Ali G: Bo! Ello to all of to all you out dere. I is ere today wiv class Pokémon breeder guy, Brock. First of all, it is good to meet you.
Brock: Thanks, it's good to meet you too.
Ali G: Cool. Now, no offense but I tink you is being a bit disrespectful to me. You should open your eyes and look at people when dey are talking to you.
Brock: My eyes are open, they just look closed.
Ali G: Oh, ok den. Ting is if we was in the presence of da Staines* massive, I would probably ave to get you kneecapped.
* Ali G is from Staines
Brock:: Good thing for me we aren't.
Ali G: Damn right. Now, you is a Pokémon breeder correct?
Brock: Yep.
Ali G: So you is getting these Pokémon tings to shag and make uder Pokémon tings, right?
Brock: No, that's not it at all. I just take care of Pokémon and help them become the best they can be.
Ali G: Again, no offense, but dat sounds like a crap job. Ow much do you get paid?
Brock: I don't get paid, and the job is very fulfilling.
Ali G: Yeah, whatever. Now, you also trains Pokémon like dat Ash guy wot I spoke to before don't you.
Brock: Well, yeah.
Ali G: So wot ones do you ave?
Brock: Let's see, I have a Vulpix, a Geodude, an Onix and a Zubat.
Ali G: Wicked. Can I ave a go of one of dem?
Brock: They don't really like other people using them, but... Sure ok.
Ali G: You is bang on guy. Ok, can I use dat Zoobat ting?
Brock: Ok, here you go.
[Hands Ali G Zubat's Pokéball]
Ali G: Ok, so wot does I do den?
Brock: Just hold the Pokéball then tell the Zubat to come out.
Ali G: So you as a butty boy Pokémon den?
Brock: What are you talking about?
Ali G: It is Gay. Cos it as to come out.
Brock: No. I mean come out of it's Pokéball.
Ali G: Oh. Ok den. You can see ow I could get mixed up wif it. Anyway, err Zubat come out.
[Zubat appears in front of the two guys.]
Ali G: Is dat it? Yet again, no offence but dat looks crap man.
Brock: It's surprisingly effective.
Ali G: Really? Coz it looks well shit.
Brock: Listen, please stop with all these offensive comments. I don't like it.
Ali G: Hey man. Chill, I is not meaning to offend you. (Out the side of his mouth) Butty boy.
Brock: Right, that's it. I'm leaving. I'm never having an interview with you again.
[Brock gets up to leave.]
Ali G: Wot? You is leavin? Is it because I is black?
Brock: No, you just offend and irritate me.
Ali G: Fine, suit yourself. Just don't come anging round Staines, or me and me posse will bloody kill you.
[Brock leaves]
Well, this is possibly the last of my Ali G/Pokémon fan fics. I'll think about more, only if this one gets a good response.