Another Sesame Street sketch rewrite, this time it's a Grover the Salesman sketch where Grover attempts to sell sunglasses to Kermit. Enjoy and comment.
One morning, Kermit was reading the newspaper.
"Let's see what's new in show business." he said to himself as he began to read the first article, "Frog logs big bucks in bog. That sounds interesting."
As Kermit began to read, there was a knock at the door.
"I wonder who that can be, if I already know who it is."
Kermit went to the door, where Grover, dressed as a salesman, was waiting.
"Hello there Mr Frog. It is I, little furry salesman Grover."
"Go away Grover. Whatever it is, I do not need.
Kermit closed the door on Grover's face, and after realizing what he had done, reopened the door. Grover walked in.
"Grover, you sell stuff that I do not need, like earmuffs, nose-warmers, and toothbrushes!" explained Kermit.
"But you do have eyes." said Grover.
"Yes, I do have eyes." replied Kermit.
"Your eyes are like two ping-pong balls floating in a sea of mildew."
"I can say that."
"Our special today is sunglasses." said Grover. "And since you are my froggy friend, these sunglasses are on sale."
"I've always wanted a pair of sunglasses." said Kermit.
"They are so easy to use! What you do is put your cute little nose in the middle, and these two things go over your ears, and,.."
"My nose and my ears Grover?"
"I hope you were listening. As I said, you put your cute little nose…
"GROVER! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU? I DON'T HAVE A NOSE? I DON'T HAVE EARS? SEE? NO NOSE! NO EARS! NOTHING!"
"Not to worry!" exclaimed Grover. "I will give you a nose and some wonderful ears!"
Grover went to work, and soon, Kermit looked like Groucho Marx.
"These are our new model. Groucho Sunglasses, with nose and ears!" proclaimed Grover.
"This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" said Kermit in a Groucho voice.
"Thank you." said Grover.
"I'M GOING TO GET YOU FOR THIS GROVER! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE AND NEVER COME BACK!"