WARNING: Mentions of sensitive/triggering topics which you'll be given a disclaimer at the beginning of the chapter for. Seth x OC fanfiction. All chapters including graphic sex are marked with MA. Otherwise rated M for violence, language, and drug use. Please give it and my OC time to develop and reveal her back story. (Its boring learning all about a character at once.) My characters opinions are not my own. I do not always approve/condone nor do I necessarily disagree/condemned whatever my characters think, say, or do. Now, Enjoy!

You ought to know where I'm coming from
How I was alone when I burnt my home
And all of the pieces were torn and thrown
You should know where I'm coming from

BANKS : You Should Know

Bless This Wayward Daughter

Prologue

Bear the Burden

There was something about a cold shower that made it easier for Odette Fuller think. When that cold water hit her skin, it seemed everything else disappeared and clarity came to her in full force. But on this day, when she sought clarity on her choices under that chilling spray, even colder memories emerged.

We're all just stories in the end. Memories and tales we tell our loved ones to share with them the love and joy the ones we've lost brought us. But sometimes, to protect those you love, you have to censor the ending. And you yourself bear the burden of the truth as you smile and tell the children everyone lived happily ever after.

Odette remembers this every time she thought back on her mother's funeral service.

It was far too sunny out for such a morbid occasion. Odette Fuller, the first born child of Jennifer and Jacob Fuller, narrowed her eyes as she gazed up at the cloudless blue sky. There was a light breeze in the air, carrying the smell of newly bloomed flowers and remnants of rain. It seemed the storm had passed quicker than they thought.

Her younger sister, Kate, shifted closer to her as the service continued. Her chestnut hair was pulled into a simple braid, her face clear of makeup, and her eyes fixed permanently at red and puffy. No tears came though.

On the other side of her stood their father and baby brother Scott. They seemed to be in much of the same situation, keep it together for just today, promising themselves tomorrow they could go back to falling apart.

A single glance over her shoulder found Odette staring into a sea of saddened faces. Their entire congregation had shown up for the funeral of their reverend's wife. The saint of Bethel. Taken from them far too soon.

If only they knew...

"Grant this mercy, O Lord, we beseech thee, to thy servant departed, that she may not receive in punishment the requital of her deeds who in desire did keep thy will. And as the true faith here united her to the company of the faithful, so may thy mercy unite her above to the choirs of angels. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."

"Amen." The congregation repeated. From the outskirts of the Fuller family, Odette toyed with the cross around her neck. She paused for a moment before her own mumbled Amen.

"May her soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed through the mercy of God, rest in peace."

And with those final words, Jennifer Fuller was laid to rest.

Odette made herself scarce after the service. Months had passed since her return to the Fuller family and congregation. Enough for the flock to get a good look at the stained black sheep. Putting on her sunglasses, Odette used them as a mental shield. The simple black glass and plastic kept the judgmental looks and accusing whispers from penetrating her skin. She knew what they thought of her. The whore. The druggie. The traitor...

It was nothing she hadn't heard in her head every morning and every night.

If they thought she would run scared because of their pointed fingers and narrowed gaze, they were dead wrong.

Odette was never one to run from a fight.

Taking a seat on a shaded bench on the outskirts of the cemetery, the oldest Fuller child observed the flock split into groups. Among themselves, they shared fond memories and gossip about the latest happenings in Bethel.

"For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged." She whispered aloud. Needing to get out of the sun, she took refuge under the large tree that shaded far beyond the small marble bench. Putting her head back, her eyes lost their focus as they looked up to the vibrant green leaves that rustled in the light breeze. They seemed to shimmer. And for some unexplainable reason, it made Odette grin through her grief.

There was a memory somewhere in her head, trying to get out but too faded and short for her to reach. All she could remember is the feeling of comfort and joy, and the sound of young Kate squealing in delight.

And the smell...when she closed her eyes she could swear she could smell her mother. An old perfume they stopped making, a random whiff of something clean like linens. Her mother always smelt like slightly musky, but clean, linens pulled from the closet. Her smile returned to a sad frown when it faded. She'd never smell it again. This time when she closed her eyes it was to hold back the tears that threatened to escape.

She had to be strong, if not for herself than for them.

"They're talking about you. They're always talking about you." Odette turned to the disgruntled voice.

Her baby brother, Scott, glared at them with the pure fury he knew they wished they could glare at her.

Such a sweet boy. Always so protective. "I know." She wrapped her arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer to her as she kissed his creased forehead. "Ignore them. How are you holding up?"

Scott's face was still twisted in anger, refusing to take his eyes off the older woman who watched his sister like a zoo animal. It was the anger that kept him from falling apart. His glare hid his red and tear brimmed eyes, the scrunch of his face covering the quivering of his lip. He was trying so hard to be brave. "It's okay to cry, Scottie. It's mom's funeral. She'd want you to cry..." Odette removed her sunglasses to show her own tears.

At the sight of it, Scott wiped at his face, sniffling back the saline that tried to escape. Odette's attention turned towards the center of the circus. Her father and Kate thanked the attendants and received their well-wishes and promises of prayers. Kate was despondent. The sudden death of their mother shaking the girl to the very core.

For three days the younger girl cried nonstop. It seemed physically impossible, but sure enough, the tears kept coming through night and day, wailing screams and fits of rivers or mute little droplets. Now she was living up to the expression "all cried out".

"She just stands there saying thank you. I don't even think she's hearing any of it."

"She's out for the count, Scott. That's okay. If we ever deserve a day to just shut down and ask to be left alone, this is that day."

Fumbling with the cuffs of his suit, Scott braced his arms on his knees and sat forward. Had his mother been alive, she would have frowned and motioned for him to sit up.

But she wasn't here anymore.

"They keep asking me what happened." His head cocked to the side to look at his sister. "I keep telling them she died in the accident. That the deer caught them by surpr-" Scott had to stop himself. He lost it. Covering his face with his hands, he tried to hide the brutal assault of tears and whimpers that beat him.

Odette hugged him in an attempt to shield him from the glances he would hate to bring. Leaning over him, she rubbed his back and whispered soothing words as he racked with sobs. The visualization that came with the thought too much for him to handle. Unlike Kate, he had been quiet and morose these past days. Trying to be brave as Dad went into autopilot, Kate broke into hysterics, and Odette tried to keep the service planned accordingly even with the constant barrage of whispered accusations from near everyone they knew.

But now it was their day to mourn. And no one could judge them for that.

"He won't - tell us what - happened." He quietly hiccuped. Odette looked towards her father through her blurry vision.

He couldn't tell them. They wouldn't be able to bear that burden. How do you tell a child their mother...

"Do you?" Scott sat up out of her embrace.

"What?" She looked back to him. Her throat suddenly to dry.

"Did he tell you?"

Yes. Jacob hadn't know who else to call. Even though he didn't wish this burden on anyone, especially his born-conflicted Odette, he needed someone at the hospital with him. And she had always been so level-headed when she was sober. He needed that clarity right then.

Left alone in the room as the nurse left for more morphine, he let out the truth as if he was replaying it in real time inside his head. He didn't seem to really see Odette as he stared right at her.

She had always looked so much like Jennifer...

When she finally was able to make out his mumbled words, the truth hit her full force. She had discovered her mother's bipolar disorder only a few weeks prior, she just didn't know it had gotten that bad. Finally, one single realization shocked him out of his dazed stupor. If anyone discovered she had killed herself, she wouldn't have been allowed to be laid to rest at the church she gave her life too. And Kate and Scott...

The elder Fullers made an agreement. They couldn't, and wouldn't, let that happen...

"Yes." She admitted to him.

"Would you tell me?"

"No."

Scott's face morphed into anger once more, sliding over on the bench and away from her. "Why not?!"

"Because I'm your big sister and it's my job to look out for you. Even if that means keeping things from you."

"What does that even mean?"

"It means dwelling on it and elongating your grief will do nothing to help this family." She cupped his face with force, needing him to pay close attention and understand that their mother's death was better left in the past.

Scott ripped himself from her grip. "You're one to talk about family." Standing up, he looked at her with red cheeks and redder eyes. "I wish it was you in that grave."

Odette stared after her brother's retreating form, a sudden calmness taking over her as she listened to the leaves rustle above. "Me too, kid."

Three months later he nearly got his wish.

Her head pressed against the cold tile wall, flashes of memory played in her head as she rinsed her hair of suds.

"Let me die." She moaned. She was tired. Physically, mentally, morally… She just wanted it to end.

Alex picked up her limp body, carrying her over the mess on the floor and unconscious dealer. "You already did. It's time to start living again."

The rapping of knuckles against the door brought her from her memory. "What?" She turned off the water.

"You okay in there, Ettie?"

"Y-Yeah, dad."

"Come on sweetheart, we gotta hit the road."

"I'll just be twenty minutes." She called out.

"Alright, sweetheart."

Hearing his heavy footsteps leave, her head fell back against the cool tile. Her eyes wandered down to her arms. The white scars that littered her veins made her eyes burn.

Always the family fuck up, she had only last three months before relapsing. Luckily her father called Alex, a dear friend and bartender at the club she used to sing at. A proud son of the Comanche Nation, if it wasn't for his honed hunting skills and vast insight into her lack of thought process, she's be buried six feet deep a long time ago.

But he had been right. It was time to start living again...

Odette pulled her freshly straightened hair into a pony tale. Making sure she had her book, laptop, and cellphone, she grabbed her pack and headed out. Since her release from rehab, she'd been staying back in her old room.

The past month hadn't been easy for anyone. Kate was constantly trying to find a fault to justify her never-ending anger. Dad was torn between being the warm and compassionate father and the strict warden she seemed to need. And Scott… Scott's resentment had eased but never faded.

Though they loved their sister dearly it had always been Ettie and Scott against Katie and their parents. They just understood each other better. The two that didn't quite fit into the picture their parents so desperately wanted. Scott with his looks and passions and Ettie with her wild spirit.

"Wayward" is how her mother used to describe it. Unpredictable and hard to fathom, she prayed for her eldest child to find guidance and a calm life every night.

At least until the end.

Mama didn't just give up praying for Odette, she gave up praying entirely.

And no matter what she thought she knew or her father told her, Ettie always felt it contributed to her mother's death.

Six months after the accident, she and her father had agreed a change of scenery was in order for everyone. Katie and Scott hadn't been doing well in school, Dad was currently trying to hide his resignation, and Ettie herself felt the town's eyes on her everywhere she went. It made her cagey and nervous. It was a slip up waiting to happen.

She knew this plan was what was best for the family. She just wasn't sure if she was considered part of it anymore.

She walked down the staircase one final time. Her hand gripping the smooth wood handrail that she used to let Kate and Scott slid down when she would babysit. Her foot hit the fifth stair that always creaked. No matter how many times dad 'fixed it' it seemed to enjoy it's uniqueness. She could understand that, she thought with a bitter smile.

Many broken curfews had been caught as a result of that damn squeak.

It pained her to know this would probably be the last time she walked down these stairs.

"Scottie! Katie! Let's go!" She called up to the second story.

Her siblings weren't far behind, Scott rushing down before jumping the last couple steps. "Don't forget your headphones." She mothered as he passed. "Katie, a little more enthusiasm please."

You'd think she was walking to her death the way she took her time.

"Don't forget your headphones, Scott."

"Already told him."

"Did you also tell him not to forget his books?"

"I didn't, actually!" Odette smiled good-naturedly. "Because this is a vacation, not a summer school field trip."

"Yeah. Not everyone can be an honor student Kate." Scott was eager to agree with her.

Katie looked from her victorious brother to her sister. With a stoic face she paused before calling for Scott. "Did you check her bag?"

Odette's eyebrows raised nearly to her hairline in challenge. "Wow. Okay." She turned to point at her brother approaching her purse on the counter. "Touch it and no amount of martial arts classes will keep me from kicking your butt, you little twerp." Once Scott backed away from the purse with his hands raised, she turned back on her sister. "You got a problem, Katie?"

"No. You do." Those round blue eyes burned into her.

"Had! I had a problem. I'm better now." Her voice was quite. And even though it was out of self-embarrassment, Katie took it as her being unsure.

"That's what you said last time. And then you disappeared again."

"I'm not leaving Kate."

"You said that too." She pressured, crossing her arms. "How could you do that to daddy? How could you do that to us? You made us think you were all better and then you were right back to sticking that needle in your arm. Daddy had to call Alex-" Kate grew more frantic with each passing word, the accusation and high pitch stabbing at Odette's heart. "-and even he was worried! And me and Scott-" she looked towards her brother who tried to make himself scarce. "-daddy wouldn't let us out of his sight. He wanted to home-school us again!"

Odette rubbed at her temples before her hands flung out in a defensive position. The sudden motion caught Kate off guard, silencing her. "I get it, Katie! I screwed up on biblical levels, as you are so eager to remind me, I get it! I left and ruined my life and you and Scott paid the price. Congratulations! You're the family saint." She mock saluted the girl, letting her arms fall to her side. "But for Christ's sake, I'M TRYING!" Her eyes burned as they stared into Kate's. "Which is more than I can say for you." She dug back.

It had been a month since her return and Kate had the uncanny ability to somehow be the most aggressively passive aggressive person she knew. She may have been 5'3 and a hundred pounds with the face of a twelve-year-old, but she glared like a battle hardened soldier. "Now hate me, and yell at me, and wish I was the one dead in the grave,-" Scott looked to his feet. "-but guess what kiddo…this time, I'm not going anywhere. Now, please, get in the stupid RV!" Her arm flung out towards the door.

Kate remained stationary. She stayed calm and collected as Odette heaved in frustration and Scott shifted awkwardly towards the front door. Finally, she picked up her own bag and walked out.

Odette laid her hand over her face, breathing deeply to keep herself collected. She was so tired of her mistakes constantly being thrown at her face, intentionally or not.

From behind her, she was suddenly embraced. "I didn't mean it." Scott hugged her tighter.

His sister grabbed the arms around her, squeezing them firmly in appreciation. She was pretty sure that was a lie, but she wasn't gonna call him out on it. "I know." She walked out of his grip to grab her purse. "Come on, dad's waiting."

Scott walked ahead of her before she stopped at the open door and called out "Headphones!" She gave him a knowing look as he quickly passed her back into the house, grabbing them from the counter.

Locking up the front door, Odette looked around the community she had once been a star in.

That's the thing about stars. They burn bright and look beautiful from a distance, but they've burned up and faded away long before you realize it.

"Come on, Ettie!" Her father called from the RV. Hopefully, the monster of a van would be big enough to cope with their baggage.

It was gonna be a very long trip.

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*Thanks go out to Sarcastic-Enigma who test read this for me and all the support I've gotten for this story.