Sirius stumbled into Godric's Hollow after the highly uncomfortable experience of Apparating; a form of transportation he still wasn't used to despite having passed the test almost 4 years prior. Tonight there was an even greater reason for error; the news that something had happened at the Potters' had travelled fast and he couldn't trust anyone else's word on the night's proceedings which was why he had so hastily Disapparated from his home to reappear in Godric's Hollow 2 seconds later.

His stomach was in knots, his heart was beating uncomfortably fast and he felt uncommonly light headed. If the whispers and rumours carried by witches, wizards and magical creatures alike bore even a semblance of truth Sirius couldn't bear to find out just how much worse he would be feeling soon. Just how much worse it would always feel.

They're not dead he told himself, clinging to hope upon hope that his own words of comfort were true. They're not, he's not he prayed; he had known James for the better part of his life and in the last several years he had become close to Lily too and oh, how he adored their son, Harry. They're not gone, lies, it's all lies. Lies, lies, lies Sirius's inside voice was repeating itself, but as he got closer to his best friends' house it grew weaker, fading almost completely when he smelled the smoke-tinged air. It stung his eyes and made them water, it burnt his throat. It made him lose any and all hope that James and Lily were alive and well and that everything was okay.

He broke into a run, the mixture of cold and smoke flowing and mixing in his lungs as he felt the weight of unimaginable sadness pressing into his chest. He ran past the cemetery, past the church and several convenience stores that were still open; their obnoxiously bright lights oblivious to the collapsing of Sirius's world. Those lights would be on forever, shining harshly upon the immutable truth that some lights wouldn't be eternal.

And there it stood; the house that had once contained a happy family was in shambles, smoke billowing out of several large holes in the walls of the second storey, one wall had simply given up and caved in but the inside was so concealed by rocks and dust that it was impossible to tell from the outside whether anyone had survived.

Sirius felt the blood drain from his face. Gone he thought again, they're gone. It's my fault. He felt the anger rising in him mingling with an intensely heavy sadness, he had just lost two incredibly close friends, but there was still a glimmer of hope that shined through the smoke and dust. The rumours had also mentioned another thing; there was still the possibility that James and Lily's son had somehow survived and, although Sirius struggled to believe this, he had been the cause of Voldemort's demise. My fault his thoughts screamed.

Despite the pain and anger that was coursing through him, Sirius managed to find it in himself to move. He walked forward, concentrating hard on putting foot in front of foot. He pushed the small fence gate open and walked up the pathway to the front door, or the entrance as the front door had been blown off its hinges. Sirius put a hand on the door frame, trying to support himself from the constant tremors of shocks he was feeling as he stumbled upon tragedy after tragedy, growing worse as he discovered them. The inside of the house was worse than the outside; the floor was littered with splintered wood and cement, several pieces of furniture had been so badly destroyed that there was no way of telling what they had once been or where they had once stood. And it was all his fault.

Sirius walked into the house stepping cautiously over the mess, making his way towards the stairs. That was when he saw him: lying across the stairs, his eyes closed, glasses still on with one lens cracked in a spider web across his left eye. His black hair was, as always, in messy disarray. James Potter was dead. Because of me Sirius thought.
Sirius couldn't feel anything. The numbness spread over his body, gravity was making its best effort to pull him down, and after a few seconds, or what felt like a few years, it succeeded. Sirius sat on the carpeted stairs next to James' body.

"James," he said, his voice threatening to crack as he tried not to cry, "I...I hope you're with her." Sirius stubbornly wiped a tear from his cheek, "With Lily." He put his head in his hands as tears started falling from his eyes at an alarming rate. "I'm sorry, Prongs," he said, his voice wavered but he was strong, "They're going to pay, all of them. I swear." he said, and then added, in a whisper, "I solemnly swear."
Sirius sat with him for a while, he was no longer crying, his knees were pulled up to his chest he felt like a little kid again on his first day of school. That had been when he'd met James, his first and best friend.

There were several creaks from upstairs and Sirius remembered with a shock, that Lily would be up there with Harry who was possibly still alive. Sirius stood up quickly and lights danced in front of his eyes, he grabbed the bannister and half pulled himself, half ran up the stairs and into Harry's room. The door was wide open but most of the ceiling and the wall had been blown away. The floor there was also littered with various broken objects; baby toys and pieces of shattered furniture. Sirius spotted a hand sticking out from under a particularly thick layer of the roofing that had caved in. He heaved it off, piece by piece to uncover the body of Lily Potter. She too had her eyes closed, her dark red hair splayed around her head, her arms stretched out wide on either side of her. My fault, my fault, my fault.

Sirius stared at her for a moment, angrily wiping tears from his eyes. Stop crying he thought, this is your own fault. Sirius looked up and saw the wooden crib still standing whole and perfect in the corner. He took a tentative step towards it. Please, he thought, please. He filled the distance between himself and the crib and putting his hands on the bars he leaned over it and looked into it. There lay the baby with bright green eyes and messy black hair that Sirius loved so much. He was staring straight up, into the night sky that showed through the destroyed ceiling and Sirius followed his gaze, staring up at the tiny, shimmering stars that pierced the silken black blanket of the night and, spotting the brightest star, Sirius looked back down at the baby who changed his line of vision so that he was staring right into Sirius' eyes and he smiled up at him.

"You see that star up there?" Sirius asked, smiling at Harry and pointing up at the brightest star, "That's the Dog Star, that's Sirius," he bent over and picked Harry up and they both stared at the stars, "And no matter where you are, or where I am, that star will always be there; watching over you. All your mischief and your fun, he'll be there; no matter what happens. And so will I. I solemnly swear," Sirius used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe a drop of blood falling from the lightning shaped scar on Harry's forehead. "That's a pretty wicked scar you've got there," he told Harry, who smiled and tugged on a piece of Sirius's hair which just reached his jawline. "You're going to get all the girls one day, yes you are." Sirius turned in a way so that Harry couldn't see his mother's body. "What do you say we get out of here?" Sirius asked him as the remaining ceiling creaked and dust trickled out of it.

"I'll take him from 'ere," said a voice from the doorway. Sirius turned to see Rubeus Hagrid's large stature outlined in the darkness.

"Are you sure?" Sirius asked, suddenly feeling very protective of the tiny baby in his arms, "I am his Godfather, after all."

"Dumbledore's set up a place for him, Lily's..." Hagrid had obviously spotted Lily, lying dead on the floor, "Sister." he finished quietly.

"Actually yeah, yeah that might be best," Sirius said, realising suddenly that there was someone responsible for all of this and he had to make him pay, "I've got, uh, something I need to take care of."

"Are you ready to hand him over or do yeh want a moment?" Hagrid asked, uncharacteristically softly for his large, hulking demeanour.

Sirius held Harry up so that he was level with himself, "You be good, yeah? But not too good. I'll come visit all the time, and you can come spend your Christmases and summers with me," he smiled at the baby who smiled right back, "We've got a real Gryffindor here." Sirius said.

"I reckon," Hagrid said, "I think we better go, though, Dumbledore wants me to get him there as soon as possible. Darnit, you wouldn't happen to know a way of actually getting him there?" he asked.

"Take my motorbike," Sirius told him, "It's downstairs, James was..." Sirius felt his throat tighten, "He was keeping it safe for me."

"Thanks," Hagrid said quietly looking down, "I'll just go get it ready." And he left, his heavy steps echoing through the house.

Sirius grabbed a blanket from the crib and wrapped Harry in it then walked out the room, all the while making sure Harry couldn't see Lily and making the same effort to ensure the same with James, but as Sirius passed his best friend for the last time, he very quietly whispered, "Mischief managed."

A/N: So if you made it all the way to the end, well done. That was rather harrowing for me to write and I truly, genuinely hope you enjoyed it. Please do tell me if you enjoyed it. I'm serious: review, favourite, message me, ANYTHING, if you enjoyed it or have any feedback or anything.

Please review. Please.

Lots of love and tears,

-I