Killing All Your Friends

Remus cannot believe he is actually standing in front of the cell in which Sirius is lying. The man on the other side of the iron bars is thin, his cheeks cavernous and his eyes are surrounded by dark shadows. The black hair, which is falling down to his bony shoulders makes him look like a corpse, in some extent this might be even true because this is what a lifelong sentence in one of the most secure and deadly prisons in the world does to you: it makes you dead.
But Sirius is sleeping, quite surprising when some Dementors are merely a few metres away, though he seems to have a nightmare. Like every night. Everyone has bad dreams, the ones in which you see your friends and family dead and the Dark Mark casted into the dark sky above their cold and lifeless bodies. A traitor like him deserves nothing else.
Violently Remus shakes his head to make his thoughts go away. The young man wants to forget the funeral of one of his best friends and his wife because the pain is driving him insane, to make the memory fade. His eyes are fixed upon the prisoner, one of the prisoners of Azkaban. Upon the traitor. He wishes so hard it would be different and Sirius' innocence would be proved, however, no one seems to care. For them he is only the scion to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black and therefore guilty, just another dark wizard, someone who does not deserve justice.
Somehow he knows is cannot be true, Sirius would never have betrayed his friends. No, he would rather die.
Though the human race is just a big bunch of liars and they are perfect in hiding a lot about themselves, in showing one of their many masks because the world makes it impossible to be who you really are. And like one of them Sirius had been the son of his family for all those years of trust. You betrayed us. You sold them to Voldemort. You didn't even care about his godson and his best friend, who he considered as a brother. Remus wants to batter the stone wall behind him until his hands are sore and bloody. You lied to us. Why did you sell them to your master? How can you even sleep, Padfoot? You have given up conscience for certain.
He turns his head away from the one he thought to be his friend, his family. And cold, numbness overcomes him. He does not feel alive anymore, there is only emptiness inside his heart and he feels like the Dementors had sucked his soul out, like he would be in truth an empty shell.
Two of his friends are dead. Gone. The other one was found guilty for betraying them to the most evil wizard of all time, to the murderer of so many, Lord Voldemort.
Remus had never felt as alone as he did when he buried his friends, but now he is watching Sirius and knows the third one will die in this place. All on his own.
The infamous quartet now reduced to one, because a traitor does not count, within less than a week. He never believed he would be the only one standing after the end of the war, never even dared to think of a future because all he did for his whole life was fighting. Fighting the wolf in which he transforms once a month on full moon, he never accepted this part of his existence.
And though he is reluctant he finally turns around to leave this hell of a place. There is nothing what he could do and nobody would believe him if he'd state Sirius innocence, because everybody knows he had been their secret keeper. Remus had never though Sirius would be capable of killing his friends, all his friends because inside Remus is dead too. There is nothing worth living for now. He feels lost between the bloodcurdling screams of other prisoners, who are living hell inside these walls, driven mad by their memories.
The past would never be through with him. He almost felt their presence as he left Sirius in this cell, the shadows which were following him and their laughter was ringing in his ears. At least they were still here and he would never forget them, because their eyes haunted him every night.
It was not his fault that he was still alive. But the destiny was always playing with its children, in particular with those who were children of Luna.