Summary: Under that cool coat, Joker wears a nice dress.
a.k.a everything is the same except Joker wears a dress instead of pants.
Alt. title: 'Damn, Those Legs'
Warnings: PT/Akirs's Legs, Character Tag: Akira's Legs, Accidental Pervert Yusuke, Shameless Self-Indulgence, It's Crack (What Did You Expect), Excessive Reaffirmation of How Nice™ Akira's Legs Are, Joker's Dress Gets Flipped At Some Point, Akechi Is Gay, Makoto Has Legitimate Concerns, Arsene's Awakening More Like Ryuji's Bisexual Awakening, Futaba Is On To Something, Haru Being Badass As Always, Dipping, Morgana Doesn't Understand The PT OR Their Strange Fixation On Akira's Legs, Ann Has Good Ideas™, Way Too Much Fun With Tags™.
Disclaimer: Don't own P5.
.
Ryuji had the worst luck. Ever.
His animosity towards Kamoshida wasn't a secret and everyone knew about it, but it didn't explain why he was in some sort of dungeon with a creepy image of Kamoshida with yellow eyes, a cape and a freaking speedo (Ryuji needed brain bleach) accompanied by weird armored guys with swords, mere moments away from murdering Ryuji in cold blood.
There was also another guy with him in the dungeon, some poor schmuck in glasses with a fluffy head, recently transferred, who looked like the type to be beaten in locker rooms and have his bentos taken.
Now, Ryuji was not a nice person but he couldn't let the other guy stay around and gawk when he could run away with his life. So he tried to keep Kamoshida's attention on him and shouted at Fluff Head to run.
No dice.
The guy called out to Kamoshida to stop what he was doing, and if Ryuji wasn't fighting for oxygen, he'd have gone over to Fluff Head and high-fived him.
Kamoshida turned his attention to Fluff Head, leaving Ryuji to slump on the floor.
Then the guy screamed.
Ryuji raised his head to look at him and saw him raise his head with a weird mask on his face.
Which, what?
Fluff Head went to remove the mask, which looked to be stuck to his face, trying with both hands until the mask was peeled off, accompanied with gushing blood.
Fluff Head turned his face back into Kamoshida's direction, showing yellow eyes and grinning like the devil incarnate.
Blue flames engulfed him while unholy cackles echoed through the cell.
What. The. Ever. Loving. Fuck?
The flames cleared, showing Fluff Head in strange clothes and a stranger winged figure in red floating behind him.
Fluff Head then stared intently at Kamoshida and his men with vicious smirk on his lips, looking ready to kick ass and take names.
But dayum those legs.
Ryuji finally managed to get his mouth working again to say, "Dude! Is that a dress?!"
.
Joker elegantly flipped back, dodging a Shadow's attack before rushing forward and taking it down.
Morgana grinned, the rush of battle still running through him, "Looking cool, Joker!"
Ryuji joined them from where he was hiding during the confrontation, "Cool? Man, he's wearing a dress!"
As if on cue, Joker flicked his coat, showing off his outfit. The dress in question looked like a waist-coat joined with a black skirt that flared out around his legs and ended a couple of inches above his knees, for ease of movement.
Morgana frowned at Ryuji who, for some reason, was staring at Joker's legs.
"You have no sense of style." Morgana sniffed.
.
Ann didn't believe the rumors surrounding Kurusu Akira. She knew firsthand how grossly inaccurate rumors were, for one. And Kurusu didn't look like a delinquent; with his fluffy head of messy hair, glasses, quiet air, and unobtrusive presence, he couldn't look the part of a delinquent if he tried.
(An impression enforced when heard her out, torn as she was about how to handle Kamoshida.)
As such, meeting him in the Metaverse in all his masked and coat-wearing glory was a shock.
And then there was the dress.
It was hard to not notice the dress, what with the way its dark shade contrasted with Akira's skin tone.
Which brought her attention to the legs.
And damn what a pair of legs Akira had on him.
From the way even Ryuji would stare at them, she knew she wasn't the only one finding them attractive.
(She didn't think it was even possible for her to find guys attractive anymore, color her impressed.)
When she returned to her house and settled in for the night, exhaustion dragging her quickly to sleep, her last thoughts were about Akira and if he would be open to trying out the girls' uniform.
.
Yusuke's life was about to be turned upside down and it all started with a pair of nice ankles and even nicer legs.
Okay, so that wasn't exactly accurate, as it all started when he saw Takamaki Ann for the first time and asked her to model for him.
He'd noticed Kurusu, of course, it was difficult not to- the company he kept made sure of it; he was all muted colors and quiet presence in contrast with Sakamoto's and Takamaki's bright colors and energetic personalities.
But then Yusuke had chased after Takamaki after she exposed the fake Sayuri paintings and fell with her into a strange world.
Yusuke had been pushed to the floor and, as he was about to stand up, someone stopped in front of him.
Yusuke blinked at the feet in front of him- they were encased within a pair of shoes with long, pointed toes, with a neck that fit snuggly around a pair of nice ankles. Yusuke raised his head gradually, taking in the strong calves, the knees and the hem of a skirt fluttering around them.
The person stretched a hand towards him, fingers slender and hidden within a bright red glove.
"Here, lean on my shoulder," The person said, staring at Yusuke intently from behind their birdlike mask.
Yusuke blinked. This person had very lovely legs.
Hmm, what to do, what to do.
Quick, Yusuke! Ask them to model for you!
Yusuke wasn't one to waste such an opportunity.
.
Makoto didn't have much time to ponder it when she first saw it; the group was rather tense and occupied with more pressing manners when they took her to the 'Metaverse' for the first time, and so Makoto was too distracted to absorb the fact that Kurusu Akira paraded around in a dress while in it.
(Her cheeks flared red when she remembered those legs.)
It was only when they finally settled in a safe room that she brought up a matter that had been on her mind since their first fight after they entered Kaneshiro's Palace for the second time.
"Joker, there is something I'd like to ask you," She started and Joker turned to look at her from where he was leaning against one of the walls.
"I've been wondering about your Metaverse outfit." At this, she could feel the attention of the rest of Thieves snap to her direction; Joker simply motioned for her to continue.
"And I wonder, do you… do you wear tights underneath?"
The room was silent as the Thieves waited the answer with a baited breath (except for Mona who looked only faintly curious). Joker walked towards her and Makoto resisted the urge to fidget.
(It was a legitimate concern! Skirts and dresses weren't practical clothes for combat and infiltration.)
Joker stared her right in the eye as he reached the hem of his dress and flipped it.
Joker just flipped his own dress in the middle of a room with five other people with him.
He was wearing tights. Makoto saw them, all right. They were short and black.
And she definitely saw more than that.
Blood rushed to her face as her thoughts raced a mile a minute and she wondered if Joker's legs were what others her age would describe as 'legs for miles I want to have wrapped around me'. Her blush intensified.
Fox sidled up next to her, head titled as he shamelessly stared at Joker, raising his hands to frame Joker in them.
Thankfully for Makoto's flaming face, Joker didn't keep his dress flipped for long, dropping the hem and letting it flutter down as he called an end to their break.
(Fox was still staring at Joker.)
.
Joker settled himself down onto one of the sofas and crossed his legs. Next to him, Mona and Futaba plopped themselves down.
Futaba turned to observe Joker.
Seeing him in his Metaverse outfit with Mona next to him and the rest of the Thieves sneaking looks at him from time to time brought to her mind a rather amusing image.
She grinned deviously and leaned towards Joker.
"Hey, Joker~"
Joker turned to look at her alongside with Mona with an inquisitive tilt of his head.
Futaba gestured at the two of them, "You know what I just realized? You're like a magical girl!"
The Thieves turned to her in confusion while Joker's lips curved in amusement, "Oh?"
"Oh, yes." If possibly, her grin widened, "Your clothes transform into an outfit with a dress, you have a codename and a mascot, and you defeat non-human creatures and reform society with the Power of Friendship?" She gestured at Mona.
"Hey! I'm not a mascot!" Mona protested.
"Definitely a magical girl."
.
After the last Shadow was struck down, Haru stalked forward towards Joker and grabbed him, spun him around and dipped him.
Joker followed her lead, curling one arm around her shoulders while the other stretched towards the ground, he even kicked one of his legs up for effect, causing the hem of his dress to slip down until his short tights showed, exposing his leg in all its glory.
Haru knew exactly where the sights of her teammates were focused in that moment; after all, Joker did, in fact, have very nice legs.
(She was glad Joker's dress didn't have slits up the sides.)
.
Akechi prepared himself to face a lot of things in his first time going into the Metaverse with the Phantom Thieves. It was all for the sake of his goals, and he didn't want any misstep to ruin his plans.
He met with them and headed to Sae's Palace just fine.
It wasn't until after he entered the casino and his clothes changed that he was faced with an obstacle he couldn't have expected no matter how much he stretched his imagination.
He had turned to observe how each of the Thieves looked like in their Metaverse outfits- more importantly, how Kurusu looked like in his Metaverse outfit.
His eyes took in the birdlike mask, the jacket, the red gloves, the waistcoat, the-
His brain stuttered into halt when he registered what form the outfit took below the waist.
Damn, those legs.
(Akechi knew Kurusu had nice legs; the pants of Shujin's uniform certainly showed them off- not that Akechi was looking or anything! But damn, with that dress and those shoes snuggly fitting over his ankles he was-)
As his brain decided to descend to dangerous territories involving Kurusu's legs, Akechi Goro ceased to function.
"Get this thirsty guy a drink." Sakura's snickers echoed in his ears.
.
[BONUS ROUND: Akira]
.
Akira waited for the Thieves to gather in Leblanc's attic in his school uniform, his legs crossed as he sat on the bed. Morgana was sitting on the table Akira prepared for the meeting and staring at Akira with slight resignation, "Why the uniform?"
"Why not?"
Akira's lips stretched into a faint smirk as he smoothed down the uniform's skirt, the reactions of the other Thieves were bound to be amusing once they arrive and see him in the girls' uniform.
(And he wasn't disappointed.)
.
End
What the narration says: Akechi Goro ceased functioning
What the narration means: Akechi Goro. exe has stopped working