A/N: Just a bit of silliness on my part. I might add other chapters based on reader response. Enjoy
Disclaimer: I do not own the WWE (I wish) or SNL. Not making money off of this, so please do not sue.
Celebrity Jeopardy WWE Edition
::Jeopardy music playing::
Alex: Welcome back to celebrity Jeopardy, WWE edition. I got extremely drunk last night and decided that this was a good idea. That being said, let's take a look at the scores: In third place, Cody Rhodes has an astonishing negative $10,000.
Cody: ::preening in front of a small hand mirror:: That's DASHING Cody Rhodes to you, Mr. Trebek. DASHING Cody Rhodes. ::strikes a dramatic pose to the audience::
Alex:Where did you get that mirror?
Cody: ::shrugs:: I found it.
Alex: Please, put it down.
Cody: Fine! ::checks himself over one more time before putting the mirror down::
Alex: Right... In second place, John Morrison with negative $200.00.
John: ::Wearing his shades and staring blankly into the camera, his hair fluttering from an unidentified wind source.:: Marsupials live in Australia.
Alex: ::puts his face in his hand and takes a deep breath: Yes, John. You said that already. And for the last time, turn that fan off, you look ridiculous.
John: Very well.::turns the fan off. He takes a moment to fix his hair using Cody's mirror::
Alex: In first place. ::pauses for a moment to sigh painfully:: Sean Connery with a mind bending $1.00.
Sean: ::laughs:: That's right, Trebek. I bet you're enjoying this one, what with these buff-
Cody: And dashing.
Sean: Yes, and dashing men standing up here. It's a dream come true for you, isn't it?
Alex: ::in disgusted awe::How did you even get on this episode?
Sean: Funny you should bring that up, Trebek. Just to be on this show, I joined the Raw roster and I believe the audience all saw me win my debut match last Monday night. ::Audience cheers:: The poor lad never saw it coming.
Alex: ::in disbelief:: You won? What self respecting superstar would go up against you and lose?
::A screen in the background turns on, and an extremely beat up looking Zack Ryder is glaring at Connery. John Cena and Edge are in the background struggling to not laugh.::
Zack: Old man, you made a huge mistake last Monday! You may have won the first round, but I'm getting that rematch! You'd better be ready, because this time, that steel chair is not going to be there to save you! Woo woo woo! You know it!
::The camera briefly zooms in on Cena and Edge::
Cena: ::shakes his head in amusement/dismay:: Wow. Just...wow. This is low even for him.
Edge: What a tool.
::Screen goes blank::
Sean: ::laughing:: He went down faster than I went down on your mother, Trebek!
Alex: ::pulls out a flask and takes a swig:: Let's move on the the categories.
::the camera zooms in on the board::
Alex: The categories are: Potent Potables, The ABC's (the answers are all letters from the alphabet), Things You Wear On Your Head, Farm Animals, Fruit or Veggie, and finally, Puppies. Mr. Rhodes, since-
Cody: ::points at Alex, angry.:: I'm not going to say it again, Trebek, that's DASHING Mr. Rhodes! Don't make me come over there!
Sean: There's a pretty boy, Rhodes! You show that bastard who's in charge! ::mumbles::even though you're still Orton's bitch.
Cody: What did you say, old man?
Sean: Nothing, lad. Nothing.
Alex: DASHING Mr. Rhodes...Since you are in third place, the board is yours. Choose the first category.
Cody: I can't be in third place, Trebek. I'm too hot! ::poses dramatically::
Alex: On second thought, Mr. Morrison, go ahead and pick a category.
John: I choose Farm Animals for $400, Alex.
Alex: Alright. The answer is: This farm animal goes "Moo".
Sean Connery: ::rings in:: Your mother.
Alex: ::eye starts twitching:: N-no, Sean, that is incorrect.
John: ::rings in::
Alex: Yes, John.
John: A duck.
Alex: Are you serious? ::beeping sound:: The answer is a COW! A COW!
Sean: ::indignant:: That's what I said, Trebek!
Alex: ::ignoring Sean:: Moving on, Mr. Morrison, please select the next question
John: I'll take puppies for $800, Trebek.
Sean: ::laughing wickedly:: Are these all questions about you and your siblings, Trebek? Seeing that your mother is a bi-
Alex: THAT'S ENOUGH! ::Sean laughs:: I am not giving you the satisfaction, Sean. We are going to go with Fruit Or Veggie for $800. ::A picture of a carrot appears on the screen:: All you have to do to get this question right is to say whether the carrot is a fruit or a Veggie.
Cody::Rings in::
Alex: Dashing Mr. Rhodes.
Cody: Uh..uh...I would like to use my "phone a friend" life line, please, Alex.
Alex: ::about to snap:: You don't have that lifeline. You are on Jeopardy.
Cody: Oh, that's right. My apologies. ::flashes a charming smile:: Can I use the 50/50, then? ::jumps at the sound of the timer::
Alex: Your time is up. I am begging someone else to at least try and answer.
John: ::rings in::
Alex: Yes, Mr. Morrison.
John: It's a carrot, Alex.
Alex: Yes, but is it a fruit or a veggie?
John: ::stares at Alex blankly:: Carrot. ::timer goes off::
Alex: ::dumbfounded:: It's a veggie! The answer is veggie! Alright, it's time for Final Jeopardy, thank God. The final category is: What are you thinking right now? ::music starts:: Just write down what you are thinking right now...anything that comes to your mind, and you win. ::camera zooms pans over the contestants. Sean is scribbling something down. John is looking thoughtful. Cody is looking slightly nervous. The music stops::
Alex: Alright, let's see what you wrote down. Dashing Mr. Rhodes, you first. You wrote down...what is that? ::looking at the picture::
Cody: It's conditioner. I remembered I have to pick some up after the show. Perfection like this isn't easy, you know. ::looking at the audience:: Dull, lifeless hair is just unacceptable, after all. Using the proper conditioner for your hair type is another step closer to being...dashing.
Alex: Well...that actually works, let's see what you wagered : a shampoo bottle. Good Lord. Moving on, Mr. Morrison, what have you written down? ::looks at the drawing:: a koala. Alright. What did you wager? ::a picture of a eucalyptus leaf appears::
John: Eucalyptus leaves are from-
Alex: MOVING ON! Mr. Connery..Let's see what you wrote down: steel chair. Why would you-
Sean: ::takes a steel chair from nowhere and knocks out Morrison and Rhodes. He points at Alex:: You're next, Trebek!
Alex: ::talking extremely fast:: That's all the time we have left for this episode of Celebrity Jeopardy. Good night.::Runs away screaming as Sean Connery chases him around with the steel chair laughing insanely.::
A/N Should I do another one of these or not? Please comment.