Yeah, yeah. I know I said I would be updating soon, and for a different story, but this shit takes time, damn it! Plus I have really been out of it lately; have no inspiration to do my stories and just want to right random crap instead- which is where this comes in!

Well, actually, I wrote this nearly a full year ago and decided not to publish it at the time because I thought my RWBY story would be better and because this one had a lot of issues with it that I didn't want to fix at the time, but, hey! We're here now, aren't we?

Anyway, I will probably write a few chapters of this for a while with no other updates for my other stories(Well, maybe for my Naruto one as the next chapter is about half way done, but other than that, it's most likely it.) so you better start liking the D... xD, I mean... Yyyyyyyyeah.

PRAISE BE TO THE SENPAI EMPIRE!

"Okay, men, you know the game plan; get in, kick anything you see's ass, retrieve whatever information you can find, get out, then lunch- and it's dino-nuggets today, maggots, so let's go, go, go!" Taking my small strike team with me, I headed towards the 'Apparently' abandoned church, stopping just outside it's entrance and crouching down with the rest of my team. "Alright, now, while the mission details couldn't possibly be any simpler than they already are, I can't afford to forget what idiots I'm working with right now, so any questions before we begin" Everyone raised their hands.

"Any questions besides why you're here right now?"

That dropped them rather fast.

"Of course- now, from what the information I received earlier tells me, whatever is inside this hunk of junk, is more than just normal hoomahns, and their normal stupid hoomahn activities like humping each other in a frenzy, watching ecchi anime and reading pornography, or playing childrens card games that could mean the end of the world as we know it. Don't know what that could possibly mean in the slightest, so be prepared to go up against mutants, aliens, gingers, or some amalgamation of the three; things like tentacle monsters, Superman, Carrot Top, or Superman like tentacle monsters with fire crotches. But, that's beside the point- actually, I don't even remember what the point is anymore, so I'm just going to continue on with my life. Oftendistracted, Kol, and Acnologia- PUT YOUR DAMN PANTS BACK ON YOU DUMB ASS! Ahem, anyway, you three will run interference with anything that's inside the building, and yes, by interference, I mean murder, while Carnage will sneak in, undetected, and find out everything he can about the place while you guys are busy fighting. I don't care how you find the information, root around in a dead mans underwear for all I care, but find anything of importance, and show me afterwards out here. Any questions?" More raised hands. "Rhetorical question requires rhetorical answer: Your mother's. Now MOVE!" Barking out the orders, the three distractions scrambled around for a bit before moving across the yards to get into position to sneak attack everyone inside all at one time while the sneakster just grumbled and started ambling towards the roof of the place.

"So hard to find good help these days, I swear." Taking out a cancer stick from a pack in my white coats pocket, I stuck it in my mouth and lit it up with a small flame produced by my finger. "I mean, really. If we were investigating the disappearance of the 'Supposed' Mayor in this town, why did Lsm send me with some of the most incompetent people I could have found on such an important mission? This is Japan we're talking about; this is OUR territory, and if someone, or something if what I'm lead to believe is true, is fucking with it, we should be on them like hounds to the hunt!" Breathing out, smoke slowly billowed from my mouth as I shook my head. "Ugh. I really need to remember that this isn't a war zone anymore, but god damn it if this peace time doesn't piss me the hell off; back then, we would have just sent out Team Peace to give out some well deserved ass-kickings and to show who the hell runs these streets… Ironically, in the name of peace." Dropping the now used up cigarette to the ground and stepping on it, I looked around the area again. "Speaking of peace, why the hell is it so quiet? They should have all been in place by now, god damn it! Why isn't there any-"

BOOM!

"Ah, there it is." Making my way over to one of the panes of glass allowing light to seep into the church, I looked in as the strike force fought against dozens of people; most in church apparel, looking like priests, while some had bizarre outfits that I couldn't make heads or tails of. "Yeesh, when I went on this mission with these people, I had thought it was going to be a suicide mission- for them." But, as I watched my fellow Hollows create Bala's and eviscerate their foes, slash out bowels and guts with their swords, or just punch some skulls in, I couldn't help but feel as if I had been horribly wrong in that assumption.

Which meant only one of two things:

Either the people I was sent with were more competent than I gave them credit for(Which, upon seeing Often running around flailing his arms like a chicken shooting out Bala's randomly, Kol throwing around hastily made wooden objects(Wooden dildoes seemed to be the favorite here-), Acnologia taking off his pants and throwing it at someone's face, and then his underwear at another, while Carnage just kicked fallen bodies and poked others with sticks, I am lead to believe is not the case.), or- these idiots we were up against just really, really, sucked.

Breaking the pane of glass as I shoved my way through it, I looked around the now barren(Of hoomahns, at least.) room, littered with bodies and drenched in the stench of blood. "Clean up on aisle everything-" I muttered as I accidentally stepped in a puddle of blood(One of many, actually-), and had to shake my foot to get the residue off my boot. "Alright, I want everything in this place cleaned the hell up- as soon as you see a Plus escaping one of these things, eat it the fuck up for all I care, then get rid of the bodies. I also want the blood and leftover Reishi from our presence here cleared, as well as everything as neat and orderly as we found it- now you have your orders, do them." The task force hastily and clumsily straightened their posture and saluted. "Hai, Curandero-Sama!" "Good. Carnage!" "Yo." The lazy Hollow slowly made his way to me from the other end of the room as the others started scrambling to do their jobs.

"Anything interesting- about the missing mayor, whoever could have captured the mayor, or even what kind of underwear she was wearing when she was kidnapped?" "No, no, and black lace with a red trim." "Damn, that's sexy- anything else?" "Yeah, actually. You might want to get a look at this." Following him to the back of the church, we stopped at the altar, where he then proceeded to kick it back, revealing a set of stairs. "Really, a hidden staircase beneath the altar? What is this, Scooby Doo?" Grumbling at the stupidity of it all, I motioned for Carnage to stay up here as I made my way down the stairs.

"Tch. As if carrying a couple of dumbbells around wasn't exercise enough." I cricked my neck as I finally made it to the bottom of the stairwell, looking at a set of intricate double doors that lead to who knows where. Leaning forward and pressing my ear to the door, I couldn't hear even a single peep inside. "Either no one's there, or, the likelier of the two options, it's sound proof. Oh well-" Deciding to sneak a peek at whatever was on the other side of the door(I was hoping it was the girl's locker room!), I was unprepared for what I saw when I opened the door a tiny bit.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

"Jesus fucking Christ, my ear drums just got raped!" Moving away from the door and the screaming while I clenched my ears, I shook my head to help get rid of the ringing(Though strangely, the ringing didn't pop up until I spoke that sentence-). As soon as I could at least hear somewhat again, I walked back to the door where the screaming was being produced and glanced inside.

What I was not expecting was to see a young boy chained to some kind of futuristic cross with a weird seal arrangement glowing on his chest as four women in various outfits with black angel wings(Wow, racist much?) on their backs surrounded him and watched intently as the boy apparently seemed to suffer(If the screams were anything to go by, anyway.). Not being one who could just sit around and do nothing while an innocent person is suffering(Well, at least when I am getting paid to prevent it, anyway.), I slowly and silently made my way over to them.

"Yes, YES! The Sacred Gear-" Sacred Gear? The hell is that- and does it taste delicious? "-is MINE!" Whoops, missed a part of what that leader girl was saying; oh well. Not wanting this to go on longer than it already had, I took out my blade, made my way over to the girl who was furthest from the rest of the group, and grabbed her from behind, covering her mouth as I quickly slit her throat. Waiting for her to choke to death on her own blood, I dropped her to the floor as soon as she had and made my way to the next one.

Unluckily for me, I hadn't dropped her as quietly as I had imagined(Either that, or these people have some kind of super-hoomahn hearing that would give Superman a run for his money-), and one of the girls turned around to see what it was, only to go wide eyed as she saw the deceased corpse of her former comrade. "MITTELT-" That was all she was able to get out before her head rolled away from her shoulders. "Well, that was a shame, she really seemed to have a good head on her shoulders; too bad it seemed to have gotten away from her." Chuckling at my own joke, the other two people(Or the people who weren't out of it, at least-) in the room quickly looked over in shock as they saw two of their own already dead by some unknown douchebag(Hey, that's me!). "Karawarna!" Growling, the only remaining lacky charged forward in the hopes of defeating me(Pffffffft-) as the leader stared, wide eyed. "Dounashiku, don't-" Too late, because as soon as she was within striking distance, my unoccupied hand shot forward, leaving an indent in her throat, leaving her choking for air as I took advantage of that and slashed at her waist.

"Look, I made a smiley face!" I grinned proudly as her outfit ripped apart, revealing the slashes I had made did make a smiley face, that soon turned horrific as the blood started leaking out of the wounds. Not caring at the least, I bitch slapped the paling woman across the room, leaving her to rot as I made my way to the last grown person in the room. "And another one bites the dust- and another one gone, and another one gone, and another one bites the dust!" I grinned merrily as the last one started to shake and look around, trying to figure out how she would escape. "Yeah, let me just clarify right now-" Disappearing from my spot in front of her, I reappeared behind her, grabbing ahold of her left wing(Which actually felt surprisingly soft, almost like a real- no fucking way.) and throwing her into the wall next to us and onto the floor. "No escapé."

Wanting to ensure she couldn't escape(And also to sate my curiosity-), I brought up my sword again, and slashed clean through her wing as she got up off the ground, with it actually surprising me as it fell off in a shower of blood, the lady screeching bloody murder in the meantime as she clutched the destroyed stump. "Huh. I wonder if that's how chickens feel every time someone wants a fried wing." Scratching my chin in thought, I was broken from it as I was reminded of the screaming kid behind me(Who's voice at this point had gone hoarse from screaming non-stop for god knows how long.) who was still being tortured. "Right; forgot about that." Looking down at the woman(Who, now that I was looking closer, appeared to have the same glowing insignia on her chest as the kid did-) who was whimpering and holding her damaged limb(Could it be considered that?) as tears cascaded down her face. Glancing between my two problems for a few seconds, I figured I could kill both of them to solve those problems(Because at this point, the screaming was really getting on my nerves-), but I decided against it, and chose to save the kid(If at all possible, at this point.).

"Alright, I'm giving you one chance to tell me what I want to know, and if you don't, you are going to suffer PAINFULLY in your last moments of living. Now, how do I stop this stupid mechanical cross… Thing- and save the boy?" The woman looked up at me, glaring for a bit, before going back to tend to her wounded appendage. "F-Fuck you!" "Alright, I'm known as a compulsive liar, so I'll give you another chance to tell me before I make your life hell." Leaning down to her level, I grabbed her throat and made her look at me in the eye. "How-Do-I-Stop-This-Thing?" Spit on my cheek was my only answer. "Mmm-hm-hm." I chuckled from the back of my throat as my tongue darted out and lapped up the spit, to the 'Supposed' angel's disgust. "Oh, yes. You'll make for an excellent meal- I've always liked my dishes spicy!"

Looking away from the quivering woman and back to the camera, I pushed it out of the way so it wasn't recording us.

"Sorry, kids- this scene is just a bit too graphic to show on this one."

10 minutes, later-

"Oh boy, that one took longer than usual- and I got me the meat sweats!" Dabbing away with a handkerchief at my forehead, I covered my mouth up as I burped. "Oops, excuse me." Standing up from the puddle of blood that was seeped onto the floor from where a body used to be, I groaned. "Ugh, I do so hate eating sentient creatures- especially the physical beings! I can handle swallowing down a body made of literal energy, but when it comes high time that I have to eat a physical one, I hate the way the parts just slither down my throat, and how the blood coats and warms my innards and-" I shivered and just stopped the thought there. "Happy thoughts, Mu, Happy thoughts." Shaking my head, I remembered why I had those thoughts in the first place. "Right, the kid-" Rushing over to the cross, I quickly untied the boy and set him down on the ground.

Even with the woman's memories pouring into my brain slowly, I couldn't comprehend why she chose to target him. He wasn't unique in any sense of the word; maybe 11 years old, Japanese descent, brown hair, white shirt, tan cargo shorts, kids like these were a dime a dozen! Hell, even his Sacred Gear wasn't unique, just a plain old Twice Critical-

"Shit! His Sacred Gear!" Frantically looking around the room, I tried to find where his Sacred Gear could have gone so that I could quickly re-attach it to him before he croaked. "Aha!" Seeing a glint of red over to the right side of the cross, I ran over to it and picked up the red, gauntlet like Sacred Gear, and ran back over to the boy, who was blankly staring at the ceiling. "Hang in there, kid. I'll get this re-attached to you and we can bring you home afterwards." After fiddling with it awkwardly for a few seconds trying to figure out how to get it back on, I just decided to put the gauntlet back on his hand. "There!" Standing back up, I grinned. "Good as new!"

…

Okay, so not as good as new-

"Why the hell isn't it working?!" Grunting, I attempted to make the damn Gauntlet stick to the boy's hand, but it wouldn't stay attached to his hand, and I was running out of time as the boys eyes started to dim further. "Oh, come on! What the hell is this shit?! Nothing can just EVER work like it's supposed to, can it?" Growling in frustration, I stopped trying to force it and just stuck it to his hand. "God just HAS to be a dick, doesn't he?" Pumping some Reiatsu through my arm and into the boy and gauntlet, I tried to get it to go back into the kids damn body, but even that failed to do anything other than make the stupid gauntlet glow a bit. "Damn it, I don't want you fucking 'Doubling my power', I want you to go back IN!" I shouted at the stupid contraption, as if that would make any difference.

Somehow, it actually DID, though-

"No, no, NO! Not on ME, you damn thing, on HIM!" Shaking my hand in a fist as the Sacred Gear vanished and somehow popped back onto my left arm, I tried to remove it so I could hurry up and figure out how to get it back on the dying kid. "WHY MUST EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE BE DIFFICULT?! EVEN THE DAMN TIME I WANTED TO GO TO THE NUDE BEACH, MY LIFE HAD TO GO AND FUCK IT UP BY MAKING IT A HOMOSEXUAL NUDE BEACH FILLED WITH NOTHING BUT MASSIVE HAIRY MEN! I WAS LIKE A HOTDOG SANDWICHED INSIDE OF A 12 INCH SUB ROLL MADE BY SOME ITALIAN GUY- EXCEPT THE ROLLS WERE ACTUAL FAT!"

Attempting everything to get the stupid thing off me(Including, but not limited to: Gnawing on my arm, burning it, kicking it, insulting it's mother, taking a piss on it(Should have done this after I started gnawing on it-), seducing it, telling it I could give it whatever it wanted(Aside from staying on my arm of course.), and even hacking off my own arm(Which only resulted in it reappearing on the arm that had regrown, sadly.).), though, always failed, as the damn thing was doing a great job of sticking to my arm. "God damn it, you motherfucker! A kid is dying right now because of you!" Giving it one last spiteful comment, I sighed and looked down at the boy who appeared to be in his last minute of life.

"I really am sorry kid, that I couldn't help you at all. I don't know if this will be any consolation, but I'll make sure your family knows of your passing and will give your body back to them, and assure you easy passage into the next life." Sitting next to him to at least give him some form of company before he died, I took out another cigarette from one of my pockets and lit it up. "To ease your worries, the next life is pretty great- I mean, I don't know from personal experience, but I hear it's fairly grand." Taking a hit off my personal nasty habit, I continued. "And the landscape is really nice, actually. Beautiful land, astounding architecture, fine people… Well, in the first few Districts, anyway-" I muttered that last part to myself as the light in the kids eyes finally went out.

"Tell… My parents… I lo…ve..." Looking over in surprise at where the kid lay, I double checked to see if he really was dead, only to find he was. "Heh." Standing up and dusting off my pants, I continued my smoking and looked over at the large cross in the room. "Sure kid, sure."

"Devils… Angels… Fallen Angels… Sacred Gears…? Just what the hell has been going on under our noses?!" My boss seethed as he sat behind a desk and looked at the information I had gathered on the latest mission last week. Of the things I had gathered(Both from unwanted memories and from where said unwanted memories left a shit ton of information-), those were at the top of the list, and to say the boss man was not pleased at finding out just what exactly had been happening out in the world without our knowing, was like saying I had a small problem with drinking and smoking.

The 15 empty flasks burning a hole in my pocket(Already used up from the last 10 minutes of this meeting-) and dozen of white, burnt sticks on the ground, on the good looking floor, said that was an understatement.

Speaking of-

"Why are we using my office for this shit?" I wasn't really annoyed that it was being used in this way, just more so at the fact that I was on the opposite end of the desk that I wanted to be on.

Stupid almighty gods that can bend time and space…

"Focus, Uxukie!" "Yip!" "Yeah, yeah. I'm all ears… Figuratively- that experiment still gives me nightmares." I shuddered as my little pet jumped up on my shoulders, and started rubbing against my neck, purring(Do foxes purr? Eh, whatever-). "You are literally the only one that knows of this, besides me, and you are easily the one who has the most knowledge about these topics- not to mention you are the Peacekeepers AND the Hollow's top scientist. I need you to look over these bodies you've brought in; see if you can find any information about where they came from, what their anatomical structure looks like in comparison to what we know about the regular human body, see if you can even glean any information about who they worked for, or about any of the other races we might be fighting against in the near future, or even about these 'Sacred Gears' that you told me about- I want to know if our forces can use them, and if not, how we can find those who can and see if we can get them to join our side. Am I clear?"

Taking out yet another cancer stick from a now empty pack, I lit it up and stuck it in my face-hole. "Well, a lot of that should be easy- the memories I acquired should be more than enough to give me a basic grasp on most of those subjects." About to take a puff from the stick, I was annoyed when my little kit reached out and smacked it out of my mouth and to the ground, letting out a pleased noise as it continued to rub itself against my neck. "Yeah- anyways, while most of those things are in my grasp, the rest is going to be a pain in the realistic ass to figure out and find; in other words, gonna need a crap ton of money, time, and hookers-" At that, the kit got annoyed again and took a swipe at the side of my face, leaving a trail of angry red claw marks on it briefly before it disappeared. "Ow, okay, omit the last part… For now- OW!" "Yes, yes. I'll give you your grant money, but knowing our luck, we are going to be strapped for time soon, so finish your research as quickly as possible while getting the best results possible from them- I want it done in the next 5 years."

Cringing, I made some quick calculations in my head. "Sorry, but it is going to be impossible to get the full results in only 5 years with the way things are-" "And if things were to be changed to war-time protocol?"

Now THAT surprised me.

"War-time protocol? Are you really sure that it would be wise to declare that, boss-man?" For those who don't know what that entails(Which is all of you, at this point-), war-time protocol is the rules mandated by the boss-man himself back when the Spiritual World was in the complete shitter, and needed to be fixed.

It basically narrows down to some very simple, and very IMPORTANT rules that are much different from the peace times we are currently(Well, with war-time being declared, I guess it's past-tense, now.) living in, and comes down to these simple facts:

The limiters placed on Captains and Espada alike whenever they go out into the Hoomahn world are now no longer required, meaning anyone could literally go full ham in someone's backyard in the real world; made so that no one could get the jump on people when they were limited from their max power, and giving the other person the massive advantage.

This rule made everyone up for grabs- usually, during the peace times, when two people fight(Anywhere- SS, HM, or even the Hoomahn world-), they are not allowed to obliterate the other from existence(AKA: Killing.), but during the war-time protocol, it's kill or be killed; made so that no one just stupidly follows the rule of 'No killing' even though their opponent is clearly trying to kill them(And yes- some people are that stupid.).

The third rule also coincides with the last rule, where everyone is up for grabs- but instead of a killing sense, it was a capturing sense; meaning anyone could be captured, and then subsequently tortured, killed, or(My personal guilty pleasure-) tested upon to find out secrets, information, or just for the shits and giggles of it all(It should go without saying that in regular times, this is a definite 'No-No', but considering I just said it anyway, now you know- and have no excuse not to know, you lazy bastards.).

Then the fourth rule(And also the most important rule when considering what we are talking about, here-) made it so that absolutely every bet was off; which in layman terms, means nothing was illegal- adulterating, loitering, jaywalking, nothing was gonna get you in trouble(Except, of course, killing an officer of the Peace Corps, but still-); this rule was important because a lot of the people that needed torturing to dispense with the information were hard nuts to crack, and normal, conventional methods just wouldn't cut it- so, they had to turn to illegal means(And, if you even call yourself a mad scientist, you would know this kind of shit was GREAT- because it meant you could test on whoever, whenever, wherever, on whatever, because WHYNEVER(Yeah, that's right, I just made that up- who gives a shit, it's war-time, baby, wanna fight about it?).).

This rule is easily the one I hate the most, as because of it, I turned out like I did, and I do NOT appreciate that at all(Being a psychopathic-scientist with no moral compass whatsoever wasn't exactly what I wanted to become when I was younger- and considering the fact that I wanted to be an English major, teaching foreign kids how to English good, I am pretty sure I couldn't get further from the spectrum on that.); this is the rule that lets any member from any race to 'Recruit' any hoomahn they see fit to change into a Shinigami or a Hollow, and make them work for that specific race(And I know I'm a crazy radical douche-bag, but even I have standards.); made just because the war was killing off too many people, and they needed to repopulate those numbers fast.

And then rule number 6(This one was only added AFTER the war- because, you know, these damn rules didn't really apply to anyone except us, and the rule was kind of redundant at the time-), which was that any Peacekeeper on the site of a battlefield, meeting, or just even happening to walk by as you were conversing, is automatically the HIGHEST authority figure at that moment- doesn't matter if you were a Captain, an Espada, the Sou-Taicho, the King of Hueco Mundo; all of them were beneath the Peacekeepers(And, in the event of more than one Peacekeeper being at one place at the same time, seniority decides.) in terms of authority- meaning anyone had to listen to their orders(Even if it was to kill themselves- which I plan to abuse, fully, now that it's active again-).

To be perfectly honest, I was ecstatic about these rules being applied again(There were SO many people I would be enjoying torturing and/or killing once I got my business done with-), but I was also hesitant because, like the damn name implies, you kind of have to be declaring war for these changes to take effect; and while I'm not a pussy in any way, shape, or form(A lot of people would argue against that, but screw them anyway-), I did kind of get some memories that had me hesitating against going up against some of these stronger beings these Spiritual beings had on their side.

Pussyness activating, though, I really, really didn't want to have to go toe-to-toe with the giant man in the sky, however.

"How long will it take for you to complete what I asked of you with war-time protocol activated, Uxukie?" Oh boy, he's repeating questions- that means he's actually thinking about it. "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, with it activated, the process would be sure to quicken, but, still, 5 years isn't a long time, and I'd be hard-pressed to do it all, but I am pretty confident I'd be able to do it in that allotted time; give or take a few months." The room became silent as my boss-man pondered this, and I searched on my person for another pack of cancer in a stick, but found my last one already burning on the ground nearby, with a satisfied looking mini-albino fox kit standing right next to it.

That little bitch(Ignoring the implications of what THAT could actually, possibly mean, aside-)-

"Yes, I think that's what I'll do." "Huh, wha-" Breaking the staring contest(That I was so not losing-) with my pet, I looked over to the boss-man(Or the back of MY chair, anyway-) to see what he was talking about. "Until further notice, we are now in war-time protocol, and our targets: The Fallen, the Devils, and the Angels." The- WHAT?! "Uh, all THREE of them, dude? Doesn't that seem a bit, I don't know- suicidal?" And coming from me, that was saying something. "Not at all… Especially when you consider the fact only two people and an intelligent fox kit will know about it being active for quite a while." "You mean, you aren't going to tell anybody else about this? Not even to get them prepared for the future-" And leaning forward on the desk, I covered my mouth so my pet couldn't see what I was talking about. "And between you and me, I don't think my little kit can keep this thing a secret- she's such a blabber mouth." Glancing over to the side once more, I winced as I saw the little bundle of death give me an annoyed stare.

I was going to pay for that later-

"Right- you let me worry about getting ready for the future conflicts at our doorsteps; you just get me the things I need to know and prepare any counter measures we will need to prevail in this moronic war. Dismissed." Waving a black gloved hand at me, he made a shooing motion with it towards the door.

"... Um, boss-man, this is my office-" "And you also own ears and a brain; use them." Grumbling incoherently, I walked over to the door, opening it and letting my fox regally trot out with it's head held high(Really, I don't know who the hell taught it to do things like that-) as I also walked out, and started making my way towards my personal laboratory. "Damn bosses, always taking your good shit like they personally own you and all your possessions." Looking around to see if anybody was watching me, I reached into my jacket when I found no one within a safe distance of me. "What always sucks for those type of people, though, is when the underlings decide to start keeping major secrets of their own from them." Chuckling, I studied the box I pulled out from a hidden pocket, opening it up soon afterwards to reveal red, almost glowing chess pieces.

"These next few years are going to be just, interesting!"

"Welcome- and thank you for coming to this meeting today." "God damn it, why is it always MY office?!" Not so silently fuming at once again being annexed from my own chair and office, I stood next to some fellow Peacekeepers, Amaterasu and Suoh, who were in their regular outfits as we waited for the boss-man to say what he wanted.

Better be something fucking big, or I swear to god, if he stole my office to tell us that he got laid, again-

"Now, onto business- we are going to war."

Okay, I suppose that counts as relatively decent sized.

"War, huh? Not surprising- let me guess, it's against those damn Fallen, ain't it?" "Oh please, Suoh, we're obviously going to war with those horrid devils- with their overly sized melons, and obnoxiously short mini-skirts." Yeeeeeeeah, that secret of the factions didn't really take too well; oh sure, it was secret for a while, but a little over three years into my research and with war being declared(Secretly-), some really stupid stray Devils(Or very unlucky strays-) came upon one of our groups. They didn't really take too well to our… Well, existence(Seems the other part of the Supernatural world really didn't like the thought of what made up a Hollow- go figure.), and stupidly thought they could kill them to 'End their suffering' and 'Alleviate them of their miserable lives'.

... Yeah, you can figure out how that went. And so, soon after, the existence of Hollows and Shinigami were brought to the attention of the other factions, and vice versa. And also since then, the relations between everyone had been getting strained- 'Kill-each-other' kind of strained. Seriously, it's a miracle this whole war thing wasn't brought up sooner. "Or we could be going to war with all three of those stupid factions-" The two arguing people glanced blankly over at the sound of the high pitched noise as I stopped trying to throw my voice and coughed. "Mu, you're stupider than Acnologia if you think we're going to do something as suicidal as-" "Declaring war on all three factions."

Ignoring the rude gestures I was throwing his way with my hands, Suoh instead chose to look at the chair holding our boss with shock. "All THREE of them? Bro, I don't want to sound like a pussy or anything like that, but I really don't think we can take down the three factions right now" "Ha! Shows what you know." Taking out a smoke, I continued. "I've run the calculations; even with our meager forces in comparison to the other armies, there is only a very small percent of a chance we'll lose this thing, which is, at best-for THEM- 3.97%." "Now, you see, I might have actually felt some comfort if I had received this type of information from someone else." Ouch. "Geez, blunt much- well, you know, other then the one you were obviously smoking before coming here." "Meh. He shrugged. "I calls 'em as I sees 'em." "Does that include the hookers, as well?" "Pffft, obviously."

"Focus!"

Seeing the others straighten up as the boss-man finally put his foot down, I sighed and took a drag from my addiction. "Right- well, there are multiple reasons as to why we won't be losing this war unless they somehow get a miracle going on. For one thing, while they horrifically outnumber us, they only outnumber us together- meaning, that if we were to set our sights on one target at a time, and not more than one of the factions, we will basically be on even playing grounds with them. And if one of the other factions decide to jump to their aid, it will only be too easy to stage an event that will break their already thinly-tied thread they call their pact, eliminating the possibility of other faction back-up. And not only that, but from what I've gathered, the only way to increase THEIR numbers, for the Fallen, is to make other Angels fall from Heaven, and even then, the Heaven fatcion has no sure-fire way to increase their numbers, so they are boned on getting more numbers, which also means the Fallen are basically screwed as well. The only people that can relatively easily gain more members, is the Devils, with their stupid 'Evil-Piece System', that reincarnates dead hoomahns into Devil's- low-level ones, sure, but still as Devils. And speaking of levels, another factor that makes me believe our victory is assured, is the power of the factions, and their members; or lack of, in this case. The only people they have that could hope to stand a chance against our Espada and Captains, are the Ultimate-Class Devils, Seraphs, and the Cadre for the Grigori, and there are only have a handful of those people, so it would be possible to just go in and destroy them with a full on assault if we really wanted, but we would suffer a great amount of casualties, so we should leave that as a last resort." Dropping the used white stick to the ground, I rubbed the back of my neck and grunted. "So with all those things weighing the factions down, coupled with the fact I know a good portion of the world's Sacred Gear holders now, and have gotten them either to sit this out or join our side, the tricks that I personally still have waiting to spring, and not to mention the variety of weaknesses each of the races has, it would be childs-play to destroy them; if we play our cards right."

The room was silent as they took in that information. "Well said, Uxukie. I see the last 5 years have not been wasted with you knowing about the war coming up beforehand." "Wait- he KNEW about this, YEARS AGO?!" "Duh. Who else was going to do the research, find allies, and spy on the factions- Law? Pffft, yeah, okay." "Why in the nine blazes of hell-" "It's actually quite a nice place once you get used to the rather unbearable heat, really." "-Did HE of all people know of this before anyone else?!" The boss-man was silent for a second, before replying in a voice that should obviously be used to talk to 2 year-olds. "... Well, he kind of had a point, there- last time I let Law take care of something, I had a room decorated for a Halloween party… In July." "Ah, to be fair, Boss-Sama, that 4th of Halloween party was pretty wicked." "True- but the point still stands. And in any case, my past decisions are not what I wanted you all here for; we need to discuss where we are going to strike first. Uxukie, take over from here." "Yeah, yeah." Clearing my throat, I moved to the side, and removed a blanket from an object, revealing it to be a white board with scribbles, writing, and graphs on it.

"5 years ago, I was sent on a mission to a town called 'Kuoh', and it was there, that I discovered there had been external activity going on, and not of the hoomahn variety. What I didn't know, however, was that the person I had been sent to investigate the disappearance of, was actually a Devil, and was the 'Mayor' of the town, because apparently, the Devil's believe they own the territory, and needed someone to keep track of it. And also because of the disappearance, they needed a new Devil to run the area… And it just so happens, that not only is that leader the sister of one of the Maous who is going into her Junior year of highschool, but ANOTHER sister of ANOTHER Maous is ALSO going into her Junior year, as the School Council president, to boot. And wouldn't it just be a shame if something were to happen to them, on their own 'Turf' even, by, say, a Hollow, or a Shinigami, or a… Fallen."

The grin on my face couldn't get any bigger even if the Seireitei Women's Committee decided to drop in and start giving me quite the show.

"Explain to me, again, why you are just sitting there, doing nothing while me and Amaterasu do all the physical labor?" Suoh(Unsurprisingly.) started bitching as soon as we were finally finishing setting up our base of operations for the next few months in the town of 'Kuoh'.

Deciding that we were in need of some form of base for our(Rather important-) mission, the boss-man thought it best if we didn't attract too much attention to ourselves, so we were not only given a shop on the edge of the town(Opposite the school, the Devil's base of operations- go figure.), to make into a business of our own choosing, but he also had me specially craft some Gigai in the form of young teenagers- no older looking than fifteen, but packed full of the best technology you could find, making the bodies almost as real as a living hoomahn(Except for the parts where they were inhumanly stronger, faster, and made to cover any traces of our Reiatsu presence(Or 'Devil magic' as the stupid morons would say.).), so that we would convince the supernatural beings that we were just young orphans who moved into the town together to start up their own business and make a name for themselves.

The shop was a standalone in between two apartment complexes, with a single large window on the side to show the interior of the building, and a glass door that lead into the place, and an otherwise white wall for the rest of the front, and a vacant lot at the tip of the entire thing, that was a place to put a sign to show what the business was. The building itself wasn't in that bad a condition- in fact, other than needing a new paint job and a new sign to stick up onto the top of it to show people what it was there for, it was ready to use to our heart's content.

Walking in through the door, you would find a homey looking restaurant of sorts, light brown walls with hardwood flooring of the same color and a white ceiling with a singular fan of the same wooden color dangling from it, spinning lazily as the sound diffused across the entire room. Also inside, was the dark wooden tables, having booths as the main form of seating for people to order something and eat with their families or friends, and then there was the bar section, where the singular patrons(Otherwise known as the lonely men who wanted to drown out their sorrows in alcohol-) could sit and have a drink or just chat(With a drink, of course- cause no god damn hobo's or angsty teens are gonna be hanging out in my shop without buying something, first.) with a full set-up of shelves on the other side of the bar, waiting to hold the drinks we would be serving on the menu, and an equally wooden door smack dab in the middle of it that would lead into the kitchen when it was complete, and the apartments above the shop where we would be living until this entire parade was finished.

All in all, it was a good, homey looking restaurant that would totally throw off any suspicion we could come across from the other races.

As long as a certain team of people didn't fuck it up, that is…

"Well, seeing how you are as deaf, as you are ignorant-" "Hey!" "-I guess I can explain it just one more time; I am leader, you are follower. Comprende?" "Okay, and tell me again why lsm thought it would be a good idea to give you that much power over us?" "Well, other than the fact I know the most of what the hell is going on right now, there is also the assignments everyone else was assigned to take into account. Namely, Amaterasu being incognito and will not be able to give orders as well as she could with the people she is supposed to keep an eye - rather diligently, might I add, and also that you aren't going to be around us nearly enough with your information gathering to give out orders either, or even assess our situations to give out clear orders in the first place! So, boss-man did the most intelligent thing, by giving leadership to the most intelligent of the group, as well as the one with the most info on the enemies-" "That still doesn't mean you are the best option for leader!" "-Not to mention the one with the most connections in the other supernatural world-" "Yeah, well-" "-And then not to mention, again, the fact the man is also the strongest of the rest of the beings in this rag-tag group, the most experienced in what we are supposed to be doing, and by-far the best people person, which is what is needed to run this damn shop… Store, restaurant? Whatever the hell it is going to be!

That one shut him up.

"Good, now then, I will be off taking a stroll, so finish cleaning up, slaves- I mean fellow team members!" Walking out of the shop and onto the streets, I reached for one of my hidden stashes of cigarettes, only to realize I was already decked in my new uniform for the shop, consisting of white, polished shoes(That costed more than what you'd probably make in your entire life-), white dress pants(Made from the finest silk a group of arachnid Hollows could produce.), black leather belt holding the pants up(Heard of leather pants? This is his cousin.), white, long sleeve button up shirt(Mm. Love the feel of twill in my shirts- what? Twill is totally a thing I totally didn't just make up! Honest!) with a darker white colored overvest covering up the waist(Okay, starting to wonder if the boss has something against colors…), and a white, cashmere tie topping off the outfit(Ah, anything with 'Cash' in the name is alright by me.).

But the most interesting thing about the outfit(To me, at least-), was the lack of places to hide away bottles of alcohol, packs of cigarettes, or even my god damn sword, which I had to fucking leave behind at my stupid room; nowhere near where I would normally want to keep my sword(Where did I want it? On my person; at all times… Hooker taught me that lesson far too well-). "Ugh. It's gonna be annoying as hell to have to restock my booze and cigs so much more now because I can't carry nearly as much." Grunting as I racked around one of my only pockets left, I took out the only pack and sighed. "You're going to have to last me a long time, packy. Boozey and Swordsy aren't here to entertain me with drunken antics and needless bloodshed now." Taking out a lighter, I opened the pack to grab a stick, only to pause as the empty carton met my eye. "... What… The… F-" My phones 'Mask' ring tone startled me out of my daze, as I grabbed it and clicked the accept call button. "... Yes?" 'Hey, Uxukie! I just wanted to call and remind you that while you're working in the shop… Restaurant, thingy- anyways, I wanted to remind you; no drinking on the job, no needless violence, and above all, NO smoking, ever- wouldn't want the place to smell like a homeless person's box, nor for the manager to smell like a 60 year old chain smoker! Okay, that's all I called to tell you, ciao!'

*CLICK*

"... I wonder if mass genocide counts as 'Needless violence'?"