The rough touch of an old memory, a sad, painfull, loved memory. To phisically feel your broken past can feel like a dagger serving in your bloodline. It feels like a broken record replaying that moment in your life a while down the road.
their are different ways to experience this, the most popular: running a finger over an old scar. No that's not our way, the story's way, no our way is the chipped wood of a grand piano, the whole in a wall, or even a blood stain in an old tee-shirt.
a nice looking pale boy ran his fingers over the grey keys of a dusty chipped wooden piano. Tears filled his eyes as they scanned the wholes randomly placed in the bage colored walls enclosing him like a cage fighter alone in the arena after a lost fight.
he put his hand on his face and let tears fall remembering a pretty face and the hand of the person with that pretty face touching his face, holding him kissing him. Then he cringed when he felt the scar on his neck it was short and clean but painfull emotionally. He breathed in smelling the pine of the building, the smell was musky and dirty. At one point it smelled of roses and a misty loving smell. Then it went to a burnt rubber filled with a loving hatred. Now it was almost nothing but pain.
logan remembered james. The most gentle frat boy ever, the most real boy he had ever met, not to mention the first person who ever thought of taking Logan under his wing. Then the conversations that felt like a bouquet of daisys and Lilly's turned to ashes and suit.
he fed fables to Logan from his hand with violent words and empty love once real was turned to the part of the rope being tortched about to break and stay apart. Though James continued to follow Logan like a lost puppy feeling as though they two could live forever like being together was a true youth fountain but now faded to darkness.
logan sat at the wall directly behind the piano at the corner. He wanted to vanish into the singed paint, leave the world without a trace, live in that moment no longer.
he cried, he finnnaly let go and screamed. His heart raced his brain pounded against his skull. His hands shook and his teeth chattered. He Truly was alone. Abandoned by a person who hurt him both phisically and mentally.
he stood up and punched a whole next to an old one screaming as he did. This was his first time ever phisically hitting something in anger. James only did it to scare him. He then picked up the piano bench and smashed in, shattering the insides of the wooden instrument breaking the strings which made a beautifully painfull scream.
he wiped his forehead which dripped with sweat. He wiped his tears and fell to a seated position holding his knees to his chest and rocking back and forth.
he looked at the wedding band on his ring finger noticing the red mark above it, his bruised knuckles cringed into a fist as he looked across the room at the fresh whole now laced with the others in a painful past. Beneath it on the hard floor laid Logan's propasal ring. He received it three years ago by the James he fell in love with who was now gone.
...
the chipped wooden door of a hazel looking three story house shut with the faint rusty sound of its hinges. Baby blue eyes scanned the black and dusty walls of the once magical house filled with love and passion. It hit him like a speeding bullet that he had once kissed, held , and made love to the love of his life in every room apart from the piano room where they made mind blowing, heart stopping, romantic duets. James cried
...
logan noticed something Near the ring that once wrapped around his finger. Right next to it... Barely touching it was a wedding band where on the inside, he could see, the letters: mes. As in James, he smiled a little at seeing the partial inscription remembering only briefly the moment he slipped that ring onto James ring finger.
...
james ascended the staircase and grabbed a doorknob on the right side of the hallway. He entered seeing a broken piano, and a boy balled up on the floor. Then his eyes moved to the two rings beneath the a whole in the wall he had put their and a fresh whole that he knew was Logan's doing on the left hand side of the room.
"Logan?"
the paler boy looked up.
they made eye contact for the first time in months.
"I'm sorry" Logan wiped his eyes"... I know your the one who legally owns the house... I'm sorry I'll go now."
"I only came back for a few important things like my wedding band... But I see you found that"
"why do you want it you can't pawn it or get a refund."
"why would I try... You think our marriage meant nothing to me you think I'm happy without you im not. Contrary to Ariana's song I've got more problems without you."
logan looked away tears refilling his eyes.
"Logan look at me."James pleaded. "I-I love you.. With everything in me"
"then why hurt me?... Huh!? Why didn't yousay that. You signed the divorce papers without hesitation."
"because I knew after all the hell I put you through that you'd never love me again." James liked his lips."I know you loved me at one point otherwise you wouldn't have said yes."
"look around James!... A lot Has changed."
they both stopped remembering a little of their past. Their first date on campus. James on one knee. Logan in James' arms as they walked through that front door for the first love for the first time with one another that night.
that last moment they could both agree was the best either of them had ever experienced still to this day.
"Logan...?"
"yes James"
"I don't expect you to up and give me another chance... I don't expect you to ever love me again... But please know, I'd rather die then live without you"
after waiting and getting no response he left, grabbing his wedding band saying only one thing before parting.
"I'll never stop loving you."
logan looked at the door. He took no time to think, he just ran. He opened the door and ran down the stairs. He ran to James wrapping his arms around the taller brunette.
"and I'll never stop loving you."
james smiled and let tears fall. Logan looked at him with puffy red eyes. They kissed allowing all emotion to flow.
"I love you"