There was no chance for rest when you were a leading member of the First Order, apprentice to the Supreme Leader, Snoke. Commanding armies and intensive training was a daily part of his routine and Kylo Ren was physically exhausted - not that he could let down his tough exterior for even a minute or else somebody would attempt to snatch his status from under him in his weakest moments. General Hux would be the first to undermine him, stab him in the back and steal Snoke's favour all because of petty jealousy. The risk far outweighed the torment and Kylo acted as if everything was going to be okay, using the force to shield his suffering from Snoke's watchful eye.
He figured he was close now, he'd been pregnant for a while and knew he couldn't possibly get any bigger. The skin on his stomach was sore and tight, he rubbed it tenderly as he showered. His head bowed as the warm water saturated his hair and trickled down his body, already his feet were turning a swollen purple.
"Not this again." He breathed, supporting himself with a hand against the wall. He thought the false contractions had ended when he managed to fall back to sleep early this morning after a long night of cramps and blasting kicks. Apparently not as it seemed. Things had just gotten progressively worse, not unlike his previous experiences with false contractions. He was completely sure that he still had a few more weeks before he had to worry about going into labour.
Once clean he towel dried his mess of hair and put on his robes. He found his figure grotesque, even under the many layers. To begin, his changing body severely impacted his pride but he found that his new predicament meant that nobody talked back or argued. The constant mood swings made his volatile temper even more explosive and the armada at his side became ever so protective at Snoke's command as the pregnancy progressed. Snoke still bullied him nonetheless, making the pregnancy a sharp-edged sword.
A healthy appetite was something he rather enjoyed about being pregnant, on a daily basis he would visit the mess hall or hail room service at least 5 times. He was sure the kitchen staff were sick and tired of him wasting their time. Unlike before, where he might have a single meal a day, now he couldn't cope with going for any longer than a few hours without engorging. It made a dramatic change to his behaviour in the early stages of pregnancy where he lost significant amounts of weight and threw up anything he ate or Frank.
By now the kitchen staff were expecting his arrival, already laying out a feast of his favourite -and stomachable- foods. His overly sensitive stomach gave him an aversion to certain foods, just the smell would make him nauseous enough to vomit. He stood clear of red meat and most green vegetables - but only when steamed- and most importantly, dairy.
So, breakfast consisted usually of mixed fruits; mainly Jogan fruit, desert plums and shuura with some toast. All preferably with a steaming glass of H'kak bean tea. Occasionally the kitchens would experiment with fresh cuisines from planets they dock in. Although it was hard to enjoy his meals alongside the other generals and high-ranking officers seeing as they all took to mocking him for eating too much or belittling his bizarre food cravings. On some mornings he would even request to eat alone in his chambers.
This morning was going to be no different, Kylo made his way to the executive feast room where the others all sat around a long table with a banquet of food slapped in the middle. Most officers kept breakfast short because they were so busy, only drinking caf and eating flatbread.
"We weren't sure whether you were going to join us." The Cardinal announced, seeing as Kylo's sluggish behaviour had made him suspiciously later than usual.
"Are you feeling okay this morning? You're looking incredibly pale." Phasma asked, incredibly concerned.
"There's nothing the matter." He gritted, feeling overwhelmed by another pestering cramp. The pain was bearable enough that he could keep a straight face in front of the other officials. Kylo took a seat, lowering himself down pitifully.
"I'm glad."
"The kitchen brought up some eopie cream pie, it must be a special occasion." The Admiral smiled cheerfully, helping himself to a rather sizable half, as well as spooning the leftover cream from the bottom of the container. Kylo had made himself a promise to eat healthier after the doctors told him he was going to develop pregnancy-related diabetes if he continued eating excessively. Yet, he felt due a pick-me-up and relished the possibility of sweet talking the baby into being good.
"Kylo Ren." General Hux looked down upon him from the doorway, "the Supreme Leader wishes to speak with you." Kylo begrudgingly dropped everything and swiftly made his exit.
"Ah, it's the noble Kylo Ren." Master Snoke bellowed. "Perhaps you should be taking things easy, poor little Ben Solo." He laughed condescendingly. Defensively, Kylo stood as straight and as tall as he possibly could, to prove he still had authority.
"I'm okay, Supreme Leader." In all honesty, he was far from fine, his stomach cramped and back spasmed ferociously. He had been feeling the same on and off for a number of weeks now but this felt somewhat different, more intense. He ignored the signals and dismissed them as nothing more than Braxton Hicks, of which he had experienced many times before.
"In that case, what progress has been made in locating the Rebel ships?" Kylo couldn't bear to make eye contact with his leader, he had not made any sufficient discoveries and the Supreme Leader would no doubt punish him for his incompetence. "I knew you were the wrong person for the job. General Hux wouldn't disappoint me as frequently as you." From under him, his legs buckled, Snoke had slammed him to the ground.
"No!" Kylo yelled uncontrollably, "I can do this." His pupils flared with passion, he couldn't lose the Supreme Leader's affection. He had become too accustomed to the endless cycle of emotional and physical abuse, although Snoke appeared to be 'going soft' on him these last few weeks which made Kylo on-edge about not making any severely punishable offences.
"Show me! You have had months to locate an army a fraction of my own and you have repeatedly failed! Maybe you don't want to find the Rebel scum?" Snoke was obviously hinting at his growing affliction between his mother and Rey, and the alliance he swore loyalty to. Something he was punished for regularly and perhaps the recent disparity between punishments was further tipping the balance.
"I will not disappoint you again." In such a moment it was entirely inappropriate to break down in tears. Regardless of the willpower he possessed, his new emotions had such a debilitating effect that his cheeks flushed red and rang wet.
"Pathetic. Get out of my sight!" Snoke banished Kylo from his chamber pointing a long and bony finger towards the grand exit. Two of Snoke's elite guards rushed to Kylo's aid, helping him to his feet, he declined their help and struggled to pull himself from the ground. Snoke laughed as he watched on, "pitiful." He once again mocked. Head hung in shame, Kylo left with haste. He was a shambolic reflection of the First Order, bowing to human emotions...he was weak.
"Are you alright, Sire?" Phasma approached, noticing the state Kylo was in. He usually made a strong attempt to collect himself whenever she was around, being that she was his subordinate. Not that it entirely seemed that way recently. Phasma still had remote elements of humanity and compassion and came to Kylo's aid. "What is the matter?" Kylo clung desperately to his stomach, face crippled with pain.
"Get off of me!" Kylo shoved Phasma's metallic arm away. "You forget yourself." The pain subsided and Kylo brushed the dirt and dust from his knees. He hadn't meant to be so abrasive but he now found himself on a mission to prove himself.
"My utmost apologies." Phasma stepped back immediately, knowing Kylo was a force not to be reckoned with at the best of times, let alone distraught and heavily pregnant.
"I'm too busy for this nonsense. Please settle down." He wasn't able to read the baby's mind like he could anybody else's, it was frustrating. He couldn't communicate or figure out what this baby needed. Other than physical signs, he had no idea what the baby was up to or what it even looked like. He had been given many opportunities to agree to an ultrasound scan, but denied every single one on the grounds that he wasn't attached to the infant and that nothing would change the fact that it was; 'a parasite, feeding on the force.' Kylo was in such distress, it was greatly concerning.
The pain eventually subsided. Like the many times before, he didn't bother going to the infirmary. The first time the pain occurred he was rushed to the hospital and given a thorough examination. He had been adamant that in that instance he was in labour, but alas, the pain dissipated. Since that day two months ago, he had experienced episodes as frequently as once a week - usually during times of great stress.
This was different. The pain had started at around 4 am, which hardly seemed anything worrying about, it subsided and he managed to get a few more hours of sleep. Unlike before, pain radiated from his lower back and spread across his front, turning his midsection into stone. When the pain first started it was barely noticeable. Now, however, it was quite alarming. Causing shortness of breath and immeasurable pain.
Still, he thought it best to ignore it. Nothing about his entire journey had been textbook and that wasn't about to change.
In the navigation room, Kylo took a slow and steady decline into his overarching chair, "why haven't I heard anything? General Hux, can I not rely on you to do your job?" In his absence, Hux was to lead the mission and report back before making executive decisions.
"I was sure that you needed the sleep, that thing is sucking the life from you." Hux crossed the boundaries and fiercely poked Kylo's stomach. Heads turned to watch the display in a stunned silence.
"That is none of your concern! I warned you about what would happen the next time you defied orders!" Kylo reached his hand out, channelling the force. General Hux levitated on the spot, turning red in the face as Kylo choked him, "we are now in the wake of a Rebel attack and it's entirely your fault!"
"Sir!" A lower class general cried out. Kylo's attention shifted and Hux fell to the floor. Had it not been for the sudden outburst, his fury would have killed Hux. Pregnancy hormones or not, he'd wanted the man gone for quite some time.
"What is it?"
"It's the Rebels, they're hailing us..." Dread was apparent in the young officer's tone. It was obvious that he hadn't seen the likes of battle as yet. It seemed today was to be his lucky day, real experiences of war were underfoot.
"Open the line." Kylo took his seat once again and straightened himself up for the video call.
"We're on, Sir." Poe Dameron and Fin made an appearance in the holographic message. Kylo was taken back, having not seen the two in quite a long time and have suffered at their hands for his inability to find them. There they were, openly, without a reflector shield; about to deliberate on their presence.
"We've been on your tail for far too long. Prepare to surrender or brace for attack! You've got one hour!" Poe voiced, rage rampant in his words. Before the military could respond the line went dead.
"Find them! How hard can it be to locate a small fleet? Mnn..." Kylo stumbled backwards, holding the weight of his stomach. There it was again, another wave of agony. He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, his breath shaky upon release.
"Allow me to take you to the infirmary."
"They will only send me away, it's false contractions. No doubt caused by the miserable work being done here." Kylo gripped tightly at Hux's collar, "I just need to go to the bathroom." It was then that a slight pressure which had begun to grow, relieved with an undetectable 'pop'.
"As you wish." Hux escorted Kylo to the bathroom as ordered, usually, Hux would have argued back for being treated like a slave but understood that the circumstances made that inappropriate and Kylo was desperate.
"Stop!" Kylo froze, his legs partially spread, the fluids from his waters rushed down his right leg, pooling in a puddle on the floor and seeping onto General Hux's boots. "No, no, no!"
"What an imbecile, you've been in labour this whole time!"
"Not now. This can't be happening, I'm needed here!" It had to be just his luck that he was to go into labour today, the day he was most needed to do his job. The day Snoke would be watching his every move.
"Supreme Leader Snoke has made his orders very clear, that upon first signs that the baby is making its way into the world, you be taken straight to the medical bay." Hux stood his ground, grabbing Kylo by the arm.
"I won't go. Without me, you have no way of contacting the Rebels." He made a desperate attempt. Knowing that Hux's desire to please Snoke was greater than his compassion, he pleaded to stay. Otherwise, Hux would run to Snoke and tattle, then his armed guards would 'escort' him to the medical bay.
"We won't need to contact them, we can blow them out of space if they arm the offensive." He was completely foolish and over presumptuous. Hux had too much trust in the competence of the ship and its crew, which perhaps made him cocky and oblivious to the real considerable danger everybody onboard was in. If the history of the resistance's power wasn't enough to frighten him, then we must assume his heart and brain for that matter are made of stone.
"I'm staying, release me. That's an order." Pulling his superiority ranking as leverage, he had authority and autonomy to make his own decisions.
"It'll be on your head." Hux spat. "The pilots are out. We need to send the TIE fighter ships. Alert Phasma." He commanded. "Go! Destroy them all."
"Yes, Sir."
"Make sure the shield is operating at full potential." Despite having more time left under the supposed temporary ceasefire to surrender, Hux made no plans to sit idly and wait for them to make the first move. It should have been obvious to the Resistance that the First Order was not in the business of making deals with their enemy or backing out of a fight they have the upper hand in.
"Wait, I can feel the other, she is on-board." Kylo had been developing his strength to communicate with others using the force. He had tried many times to talk to the baby, but it soon became clear that it must have been of an ordinary nature. At least he had been able to communicate with Rey before and knew she kept her mind open. He focused and gave it his best effort to relax, guiding the force and penetrating through Rey's head.
"You need to turn back. Our weapons are far superior. You will be destroyed." Kylo warned.
"I don't take orders from you!" Rey barked, snidely.
"I'm only trying to spare you the pain..." Not only that but he didn't want to see his mother suffer or potentially die at his hands, after all, she was one of the few people he still had not harmed. Killing his father sent him over the edge, it drove him insane and straight into the arms of a rebel – which had led to the circumstances he found himself in today. Whilst he desperately fought with his conflicting loyalties he knew that things were different now. He had a respect for the Rebels and his mother, as well as a growing and undying love for the half-breed growing inside him.
"What's going on?" She asked, curious as to the strain of his voice.
"Mock me if you must, but I'm in no mood for this puny attempt. I'm pregnant and in labour." He confessed.
(Rebel ship) "Fire!"
"No! Stop, Ben is onboard that ship, pregnant and about to give birth." Rey cried, not everybody on the ship still believed that Ben Solo was worth the risk, keeping him alive. Rey knew that he was turnable, that there was still hope that he wouldn't become the next Darth Vader.
(Rebel ship) "We've lost communications with the others...they're prepared to launch an attack."
(Rebel ship) "My son is on that ship and so is my grandbaby! Stop this now!" Leia felt like spinning around merrily at the news. It shed new levels of confidence that her son would soon return, this time with a new life in his arms, another to carry on the family legacy.
"We all still care about you, Ben. I'll try my best from this end." Rey spoke positively, regardless of how hard it may be, she would be determined to protect Kylo at the very least.
"I make no such promises," Kylo replied, shutting off the connection. It was obvious that he had no authority to call off the attack, should he do, he would have to answer to the cold and menacing hands of Supreme Leader Snoke.
"Mnn..." He whimpered, "the contractions are far too strong..." Kylo admitted.
"We need to get you to the medical bay. You cannot have the baby here." Hux pulled Kylo up from the chair with two arms. The man was incredibly heavy, heavier than he remembered, not that he'd ever make such a remark out loud. Kylo was sensitive enough at the moment without making him self-conscious.
"Agreed."
"Can you still walk?"
"I think so..." Hux let Kylo drape his arm around his neck whilst he grabbed Kylo's side. He felt the younger man flinch at his touch but did not react. He knew it was probably due to Snoke's abuse, disguised as 'training' that Kylo was so jumpy and hated to be touched.
"Slowly, slowly...whoa!" The two walked together down the hall when Kylo's legs began to buckle as another contraction rippled through his stomach. Hux used all of his strength to keep his companion from falling to the ground. He helped Kylo to remain upright and repeated as they walked, "just breath" like a mantra.
"I don't think there's any more time." Kylo stopped, they were at least 20 minutes away from the medical bay, walking at this speed. It was realistic to accept defeat and find somewhere comfortable.
"It looks like we'll have to deliver the baby here, in the bathroom?" It seemed the only closest place to go, somewhere they can lock themselves away and deliver the baby un-interrupted. "It looks like this child doesn't favour waiting."
"Definitely -NOT!" He protested through another rather painful contraction.
"You don't have much of a choice." Hux pulled off his uniform cape and laid it on the floor, "I'm going to get some help."
"General Hux, if you leave me here, I will rip you limb-from-limb." Oh, it would be such a sight, should anybody unknowingly wander in to see their general, Snoke's right-hand man, drenched in his own amniotic fluid sitting helplessly on the floor; Kylo would no doubt kill them. There can be no witnesses of such a horrific sight, or else he'd lose all the respect he had among the subordinates.
"I am not a midwife. I cannot deliver a baby." At that moment Hux contemplated leaving Kylo and running away, he was only fit to command a fleet, he'd never know how to help deliver a baby; let alone know what to do should things take a dramatic turn for the worse, which was highly likely given the unprecedented nature of the pregnancy.
"Never mind that! You have to help me. I need to push." Hux had never seen Kylo so vulnerable before. The man's general being was one of a fierce and quiet exterior, he remained a closed book to everybody, and a lone wolf of sorts. Now Hux could see the real Kylo, a boy in need, somebody brave and admirable.
"When the Supreme Leader hears of this, he will have both of our heads." He had no other choice, in good conscience, he couldn't leave Kylo alone, it would be dangerous and stupid.
"That isn't the most pressing issue at the moment- oh god!" Kylo wept, clutching at his stomach.
"I don't know what to do!" Hux said in a hectic panic. He was completely unaware of why Kylo was in so much pain and knew not of any ways to make it stop, yet all he could do was watch as Kylo squirmed and screamed. He was completely useless.
"Keep calm! You're not the one who is trying to pass a hubba gourd out of an extremely narrow birth canal!" A part of him wished that he was still blissfully ignorant of the perils of sex, that he hadn't been stupid enough to lay with another man, knowing the consequences.
"Okay...um...right... Let's take this off." He began to strip Kylo of his external garbs, including his cape and cloak, he folded them up creating something resembling a pillow to support Kylo's head.
"It burns..." He breathed, his eyes glued tightly shut as he rode out the pain.
"I'm going to have to take off your trousers." Hux gulped, he never would have thought he'd be saying this to his co-worker, ever. But here he was, grasping at the elasticated waistband of Kylo Ren, about to pull off the other man's altered trousers.
"If you breathe a word to a single soul about anything you see here, it'll be the end of you." He threatened once again. He knew that Hux didn't want to be here as much as he didn't want Hux to be the one delivering his child, but he was still grateful that he stayed and was going through such horrors with him.
"I wouldn't dare..." Hux took a moment to prepare himself for what he was about to see, having closed his eyes and braced for what he could only assume to be a gaping vagina-like opening, "oh god." He gasped, opening his eyes.
"What is it? What do you see?" Kylo leant forward but couldn't see over the mound he used to call an 'eight-pack'. Hux's expressions were far from what he wanted to hear, it made him overcome with worry and fear.
"Hair...and a lot of it." Kylo threw himself back down with relief. Hux was still in awe of how much hair a new-born could possibly have already. "Indeed, the baby is crowning." The hair-covered round likeness of the head peeked through the canal, understandably the cause of the burning sensation that Kylo had complained about. "How do you want to do this? I beg of you not to lay here on the floor." The potential future of the first order was about to be born on the dirty bathroom floor.
"I'll squat." Despite having very little strength left, he made the effort to climb up off the floor and perch in a squatting position, holding on tightly to the skin in front of him. "Hux, don't let it drop. I beg of you- this hurts!" Kylo held onto the sink for dear life, his fingers turning white from blood loss.
"Don't fret. Just push, okay?" He removed his cufflinks and rolled up his sleeves, just passed his elbows, ready for the dirty work to begin. Hux held either side of the baby's head for extra measure, making sure that he could grab the baby should it just 'come sliding out'.
"I am!" Kylo was indeed pushing, with all the strength he could muster, gritting his teeth in the process. He'd never experienced so much pain, the punishments that Snoke would deal paled in comparison; he'd take an unleashed session with the Supreme Leader over this any day.
"I'm sorry. You can keep the cloak by the way." Kylo exhaled heavily as the contraction passed and gave a small chuckle. He rested his forehead against the cold porcelain to cool himself down a little. All power that used to fuel the ventilation was being directed to the deflectors which made the situation a little less bearable.
"How generous of -YOU!" It seemed the contractions were coming every minute now, with very little time in-between to recuperate, it felt like each contraction simply blended into one permanent state of agony. "Ahh!"
"The head is out. Keep going!" A small and wrinkled face poked out from the orifice, it filled Hux with a sense of excitement, he cheered Kylo on, anticipating the end.
"I'm trying." He replied through the gaps in his breathing.
"Are you using the force?" Hux suggested.
"No... I'm not relaxed enough." He hadn't even thought about trying to use the force at all, he wasn't sure whether it could be used that way to manipulate his own body.
"Try. It might help. I'll clean your face with some cold water." General Hux ran some tissue under the cold water tap and began wiping away the sweat that garnished his forehead. "Just focus." Kylo stretched his fingers, which were numb and bloodless from gripping the skin too hard and took a deep breath. "It's working, just push hard for me, one more time!" Kylo's body instantly became less tense, with the force acting as a natural remedy.
"Ugh!" Kylo grunted and bore down, the promise of this being the last time filled him with hope and strength to carry on.
"And again!" Hux encouraged.
"You said -ONE MORE!" Kylo cried, the immense pain bringing tears to his eyes. The shoulders were the hardest part to pass and it seemed the baby was just as stubborn as it's father, putting up quite the fight.
"I've told you already, I'm not a midwife." Hux tried to pull the baby from the base of the neck, hoping that he could try and help things along since Kylo was about ready to collapse, judging from the pulsating veins that protruded against the skin on his legs.
"PUUUUUSH- "
"AHHHHHH- "The two competed for the acoustics in the room. Kylo gave it his utmost last drop of energy as the rest of the body glided out.
"That's it! You did it!" Hux held in his arms a magnificent baby, covered in blood, lubricant and amniotic fluid. For a clean-freak, he held no grievances about holding the gunky infant, in fact, he felt proud of his role in bringing this life into the world.
"I did?" Kylo was exhausted, so exhausted he hadn't really registered that it was all over.
"It's a beautiful baby girl, congratulations." Hux helped Kylo to the ground, his legs tense and rigid from being upright for so long. Once on the cape, Hux offered Kylo the baby, still raw and attached to its placenta.
"Don't give her to me- what are you-" He couldn't trust himself with something so small and fragile but couldn't argue when it was placed in his arms. "It's a baby girl." Kylo began to cry, he was mesmerised by the angel looking quietly back at him. He had made that, carried it around for nine months and now it was a completely separate human being. When he first went to the medical bay and they concluded that he was indeed pregnant, he wanted to end it all, terminate the pregnancy. Having a baby would only interfere with his pledge to the Supreme Leader and more importantly, he harmed everything he touched. Now, looking into the eyes of his little girl, he would go through it all again, defy any bounds, just to be with her.
"I'll cut the placenta." Once the cord had stopped pulsating, Hux took out his swiss-army knife and broke the chain between 'mother' and child. "That was excellent, the Supreme Leader will be proud of you Kylo Ren."
"She's not crying..." Kylo still couldn't get to grips with his own emotions yet, but he was prepared to hear a piercing scream as his daughter was born.
"She's probably still in shock." Hux laughed, the reality being he too was still rather in shock. "Very brave, like her father. Who is the father, if you don't mind me asking?"
"Dead." It hardly seemed far from true, being cooped up in the bathroom meant he had no idea what was going on outside, he could hear the sound of blasters and roaring engines, but all of the noise stopped just before the baby was born. For all he knew, his daughter may not have a second father anymore. Not that it made much of a difference since he vowed to raise her alone regardless.
"Oh..." Hux rubbed his neck awkwardly, forgetting for the moment that his hands were dirty and transferring Kylo's innards across his skin.
"It's just me and her." Kylo smiled down at his daughter happy, this was to be the only way he wanted to live his life, with his daughter being the centre of the universe.
"What will you call her?" Kylo paused for a moment, analysing his daughter's features, searching for a name that would fit her beauty. Whilst she primarily resembled himself, the dark brown eyes and lustrous eyelashes coupled with her cute button nose only reminded Kylo of her other half.
"Damerine." It came to him, it seemed only right that he remembers the one who helped bless the world with such a darling. A perfect name for the perfect infant ever born, and the first infant born on a First Order ship.
"A graceful name, to think, you were this insolent little brat, when you first came aboard this ship. Now you have one of your own, it seems you've all grown up." Hux teased sarcastically.
"Take her, quickly!" Kylo offloaded his daughter into Hux's arms speedily, "I need to push again." He drew his legs to his chest and leant forward as the familiar sensation relished his body, this time without the crippling pain that followed suit.
"What, why?" Hux's eyes exploded with fright.
"The placenta needs to come out." Kylo weakly pushed, feeling the sack start to slither out, the sensation made his skin crawl. It took a few more pushes before the entirety of the placenta was out and left in a pile between his legs.
"Mother of Moons…that was disgusting." Hux felt the need to gag as he watched, despite telling himself to turn away, he couldn't remove his eyes from the display in front of him.
"You have no idea." Knowing the whole ordeal was now finally over, he appreciated the struggle his own mother must have gone through delivering him. He could still remember his mother's stories about giving birth to a nine-pound baby and tearing the flesh of her vagina. Thankfully Damerine was small and dainty.
"Here, take her." Hux had wrapped the baby in one of Kylo's garments to clean her off and keep her warm, whilst being comforted by the smell of her father. "I'm going to get somebody to help carry you off." This time Kylo didn't protest, he had no will to stand. "I'll be back." Hux hurried along, finding anybody and everybody and spreading the word of good news.
"You're ada's little girl." Kylo rocked the baby gently and planted small kisses upon her head, upon her soft and smooth skin. He wished this moment would be a reflection of their relationship forever, he hoped that he'd never alienate his daughter like his parents did unto him.
"Sir!" Phasma came charging in, her armour was scuffed and dented slightly, but what was more surprising was the fact she held her bucket in one hand. "You should have come with me earlier, you could have avoided all of this." The medical bay had arranged for a pain-free birth, a caesarean due to the unwillingness of Snoke to have his protégé die giving birth, 'like a commoner'. Phasma approached the two quietly, not wanting to disturb the atmosphere. "She's rather beautiful." A doting aunt already. Having chosen a career over starting a family, Phasma had accepted the reality of never having children, so to have a little one to love and hold was magical.
"Her name is Damerine," Kylo announced, gently shifting the hair on his baby's head.
"Hello, Damerine, what lovely eyes you have." Phasma melted, turning into a gooey mess. By day, ruthless leader who commanded thousands of stormtrooper recruits and trained them as mindless soldiers; by night, a willing babysitter.
"What happened? Is the ship okay?" Kylo asked, urgency in his voice.
"The ship is fine. As a matter of fact, I have a surprise for you. Something I wouldn't normally condone, but in such exceptional circumstances, what the Supreme Leader doesn't know won't hurt him." Having her helmet off was totally against her nature as it was, what could possibly be waiting for him of such grave importance.
"What could it be?" Hux stood in the doorway with a wheelchair.
"You'll have to come with us." Phasma offered to take Damerine as Hux helped Kylo to change into a clean pair of trousers and lowered him into his chair. "Hello, you." She couldn't help but kiss the infant all over, even though she was still covered in dry fluids. Parting with the infant was going to be incredibly painful.
"I was under the impression that my stomach would go back to normal after Damerine was born." As Hux held Kylo upright, Kylo couldn't help but notice that he still had quite a sizable bump.
"It will take a few weeks for your muscles and organs to shift back to their normal positions and the excess skin on your stomach may never actually go away." Phasma relayed, Kylo was a little saddened by the idea of potentially not being able to look the way he did before but knew that this was a sacrifice all women went through to have children.
As the three of them turned the corner, Kylo became very quickly aware of what exactly the big surprise was. His mother, Rey, Fin and Poe Dameron… a face he didn't think he'd ever see again.
"You did this?" Kylo looked up at Phasma with a gaping smile.
"You, General Hux and myself are the most senior ranking officials on this ship. Nobody would dare to question a direct order." Phasma handed back the baby.
"My son!" Leia ran towards her son as quickly as her ageing legs could manage, grasping his head in a sizable embrace. She kissed the damp locks tenderly before stepping back to gaze at her grandchild with adoring eyes. "Oh, she's wonderful! Blessed with her grandmother's looks." She cheekily remarked.
"Congratulations." Rey felt practically giddy and eager to have her turn at holding the baby, seeing as it seemed like Damerine was nothing more than a party game, being shared among guests.
"Yeah, congrats bro. No hard feelings, what you've done rectifies all of my doubts." Fin felt rather awkward, whilst he was pleased for Kylo Ren, he still couldn't shake the memories he had as a subordinate under his control.
"What's my grandbaby's name?" Leia welled up at the very thought of identifying herself as 'grandma'. Something she never thought would happen, that her son would give her a new baby to kiss and to hold, her biggest fear was never being able to meet her granddaughter; that she would be locked away on the Starkiller base.
"Damerine." Kylo avoided eye contact with Poe who had somewhat hung his head with embarrassment the entire time. Kylo wasn't ready to acknowledge Poe's existence after the way he reacted to impending fatherhood. Kylo had sent a letter, a rather heartfelt letter, to Poe making him aware of the consequences of their actions and that he didn't need Poe to be involved as it would only make things complicated; being that they were on opposing sides. Poe had written back using foul words and threats, the response sent Kylo into a destructive place where he resented the life within him.
"It really suits her. You've done extremely well, my son." Kylo became bashful as his mother spoke. When they communicated like this, it only reminded him of the pleasant times he had before moving away to train with his Uncle Luke Skywalker. "I think we should give these two here a moment alone." Leia hinted, sensing the unrest.
"Caf, Princess?" Phasma offered, extending an olive branch.
"Got anything stronger?" She raised a brow suggestively, Phasma nodded her head and laughed, agreeing. They could use something with a bit more kick after the events of tonight.
"Damerine, hu?" Poe asked, breaking the silence.
"Her father may not want to have any involvement, but it seemed courteous." Kylo dug, putting in all effort to make Poe feel guilty.
"I was out of line, what I said to you was unforgivable. I was shocked, scared even." Poe could remember getting the letter, sent via a secret courier. When he first read it, he didn't know what to think; maybe it was an elaborate rouge to bring down the resistance. It was that kind of backwards thinking that he wrote the reply based on. "I tried writing other letters…but every time I'd give them to somebody they were captured before they could deliver them."
"Now is your chance to tell me, what did you really wish to say?" He didn't particularly want to give Poe a second chance after he was hurt so badly the first time, but he was stronger now and no man could bring him down.
"I wanted to say a whole load of things. That first of all; I'm sorry, for writing you that letter. I'm even sorry for not being there when you woke up that morning. I also wanted to tell you that I was scared, like really scared. I'm a cocky flyboy that loves to bring down TIE fighters, I'm not father material."
"I was scared too, I still am. I've already overcome one of my biggest fears, but now I have to live with the other. I don't expect you to suddenly abandon who you are for us, I never did." Kylo only sent the letter out of respect, he truthfully didn't want anybody's help. This was something that he wanted to do alone.
"That's just it. I've realised now that I want to be there, I wanted to be there for you this entire time. Now, I want to be there for the both of you." Kylo's emotions were still incredibly high, the mix of exhaustion, serotonin and those 'good ol'' pregnancy hormones made his lip quiver and throat sore.
"How? I'm not coming back with you. My place is here." Kylo still recognised, that above the evil dictatorship that Snoke led the First Order under, was a higher purpose. That his destiny lied at the top of the first order, where he could truly make changes.
"We can visit each other somewhere, a few times a year – or more." He proposed.
"I think we can manage that…" He'd been won over by the words of a Resistance Starfighter commander, this truly was a day to remember. "Do you want to hold her?" Kylo offered, slightly hesitantly.
"If you'll let me." Kylo gave over the baby and watched as Poe clumsily got a grip on a comfortable position, "She looks a lot like you." Poe admired.
"Infants naturally look more like their fathers, it's an evolutionary adaptation. Her eyes and nose are yours." Kylo corrected.
"I would have never thought that my features would be pretty on a woman." Kylo chuckled and shook his head disapprovingly. "It's a miracle, that's what it is. She's a miracle baby." Poe hadn't known about individuals with the force being able to bear children, irrelevant of their gender, until Kylo's letter. To him, Damerine was a miracle.
"The most painful, sleep-destroying torturous miracle in all of the galaxies." Kylo let the tears flow freely down his cheeks, he knew that Damerine was the greatest struggle he had ever faced, but he wouldn't possibly have it any other way.