Yesh. A bunch of cracky one-shots about everyone's favorite host club. Centering Haruhi, of course. Duh.

I make new ones of different lengths only when I'm bored, and they're all gathered here.

It was a normal day after the Host Club had ended. As usual, those damned twins were at their little three way love scene again.

"Ne, Haruhi..." Hikaru spoke in a deep tone, a subtle grin tugging on his lip as he watched Tamaki suffer, as he dipped his down to her right ear down and wrapped his arms around the short haired brunette's petite frame. Kaoru did the same on his side, only he rested his chin on where her neck met her shoulder, wrapping his arms around her waist. Kaoru spoke this time, his voice identical to Hikaru's (or at least to everyone else besides Haruhi it seemed that way). "Did you know..."

"That you smell so pleasant, ne?" They chimed together, their voice holding a mocking tone.

Hikaru grinned heavily, taking a stealthy peek at Tamaki's face.

Tamaki was just about ready to rip their heads off. He was crouched in a corner of the seemingly always magenta room, cultivating what appeared to be poisonous mushrooms, his eyes holding an evil glint to them. He softly chanted to himself about 'homicide' and 'damned twin incubi'.

Haruhi sighed, her eyes rolling. She found the whole club to be extremely air-headed, with the exception of Kyouya and Mori. Seeing as the twins (now no longer identical due to Hikaru dying his hair) were probably not going to relinquish their questionably intimate grip on her, she decided to think about ootori and its wonderful delights and also how she still never got any.

Damn rich bastards.

That happened to be a dazed thought, as her head leaned backward and the ceiling and golden chandelier blurred, their colors joining together like beige with a blurry splotch of gold, until a cover of darkness swallowed her and the colors.

She had fallen asleep.

You see, Haruhi had gotten a little occupied with studying...and went to sleep at three in the morning.

Hikaru blushed as he felt Haruhi leaned toward him, a rather heavy red as well. Kaoru smiled, his heart aching subtly as he watched her sleep.

One was rejected. One was too shy to admit his feelings.

Both were in love with a beautiful brown haired girl.

"HOW DARE YOU TRY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY DAUGHTER WHILE SHE SLEEPS!"

Tamaki screamed, throwing mushrooms and, as usual, ruining a cute moment. He rushed over to pick up his dear daughter, as the twins couldn't help but just lean back sitting and laughing at his expression. He was in such a rush, he stepped (rather solidly as well) on Haruhi's loafer clad foot.

Haruhi jolted up from her seat, the top of her head making clear contact right where his neck met his head. And it wasn't a soft blow to the neck, either.

Both reeled back, Haruhi tripping over the couch and ending up falling over the back. Tamaki stumbled back, his eyes widening.

A banana peel popped out of nowhere, and Tamaki slipped back, and out the window that someone decided to open (perhaps to welcome the spring, for perhaps the eighteenth time it had come to Ouran this one year -coughs-).

Of course, the twins were laughing like hell. Haruhi sighed as she awoke fully, her expression of surprise fading as she heard the twin's in sync laughter. It calmed her, since she knew the reason she was halfway off the couch with her face to the ground and her legs resting in an absolutely uncomfortable position against the piece of furniture was because those two little demons were obviously responsible. And she therefore knew who was going to lose their heads.

As Haruhi pulled her legs off the couch and got herself to stand, a killer intent was sent toward the twins.

"It. Was. Tono!" Hikaru spoke between his laughter, clutching his stomach.

"Look out. The. Window." Kaoru had a bit better talent in holding his laughter, though not by much.

Haruhi sighed, wiping the her uniform with her hands before trudging over to the open window. She looked back at the twins with a wary look, as if making sure they weren't about to push her over, and then looked downward.

"Haruhi, dear! Help daddy!"

And there, a sight to behold, was Suou Tamaki, hanging from a branch of a sakura tree.

"Baka." Haruhi mumbled, shutting the window and walking away, her expression quite cold. She sat herself next to the, as always, nonchalant Kyouya, and sighed. He raised one eyebrow above his shady glasses, looking at the brunette's expression.

"I think that this club is fricking insane..." Haruhi spoke, flopping her head on the table. "And quite sadly, this is the first time I've found myself saying that."

"Why, Haruhi..." Kyouya was sort of grinning and smiling, in an eerie way, "What took you so long to realize?"

"Honestly, senpai, I have no idea. And that, quite frankly, is weirding me out quite a bit."

:D

-tempts reviewers with candy and host club porno-