This is a one shot for Solar Kitty-chan for being the 100th reviewer on my set of drabbles "100 RanxGin Drabbles". You should also check out Solar Kitty-chan's set of 100 Romantic Bleach drabbles! The pairings go from traditional to pure crack, makes for a great read!
This is a song fic using Lady Antebellum's song "Need You Now". The song lyrics are in italics throughout the story.
Dedicated to Solar Kitty-chan! Loves and hugs. And men, lots of sexy men, haha.
"Need You Now"
Rangiku got home from yet another date. Kenji had been wonderful; they had seen a terrible movie in a nearly empty theater, so they had spent most of the time making fun of the movie in whispers and silent laughs. Then it had been dinner at a nice restaurant; the guy had definitely wanted to show off for her. Kenji pulled it off too; Rangiku had a wonderful time and she had to say it was one of the best dates she had ever been on.
The problem had been when she was in his car, getting ready to head into her apartment. Kenji put his hand over Rangiku's and then, he pulled her closer, kissing her cheek. Rangiku's heart pounded in her ears and all she could think was that she did not want him to kiss her. She could not stand the thought of it.
So she moved at the last second and got another kiss on her cheek instead. Then she fled with a breathless "good night" up to her apartment.
Rangiku called Nanao up, "It was a perfect date, but I just wasn't into him."
"Did he do something wrong?" Nanao responded immediately.
"No, he was great, I just… I dunno," Rangiku said. "He wasn't that cute. I couldn't stand the thought of kissing him." Nothing was a lie, but the two statements did not quite go together.
"That's too bad, I'm sorry," Nanao said. "You will find someone though."
"Like Kyouraku swept you off your feet?"
There was a pause. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Shunsui's too much of a flirt to do any such thing, and he's too lazy to do anything resembling work. He drives me crazy."
Rangiku smiled faintly. Nanao had recently become engaged to the same man she constantly complained about. It was a bit of a strange relationship, but somehow the two made it work. Two people so completely different managed to make it work, yet her own relationship had fallen to pieces all around her almost half a year ago.
Rangiku hung up a few minutes later and pulled out a bottle of wine. She poured herself a glass, filling it up almost to the top. She drank several big mouthfuls.
She had complained about Gin too, about how much he traveled mostly. But there were days, wonderful days. Like the one day he had produced a picnic basket and taken her to a beautiful park one spring. They had lounged on a blanket watching ducks in a pond all afternoon. She had played with his silver hair as he lounged with his head on her lap.
Many cold winter nights he made her hot chocolate with marshmallows and a peppermint stick to warm her up when she came home. He always let her steal his place on the couch, which was nice and warm, and smelled almost as good as Gin himself did. Eventually, he would return to the couch, curling up beside her, wrapping an arm around her until she was toasty once more.
She had loved to spend mornings lazing in bed, her head on Gin's chest. He would play with her hair sometimes. Other times he would wake up and make love to her. Either way, Rangiku never wanted to get out of bed when Gin was around.
Rangiku looked through a scrapbook. She was on her second glass of wine already, but she had two bottles out in front of her. Enough to get her absolutely drunk. She finished the second glass and hurled the scrapbook away from her. Loose pictures flew out from it, fluttering to the floor.
It was over, all over. Gin was no longer a part of her life. He was a world away; Japan. Or some other place. Who knew. He was always traveling for work, place to place.
Rangiku picked up her phone and stared at it. She wondered if he was as tormented as she was. Was he dating and trying to move on, or was work his only focus. He had broken up with her so nicely; sometimes she wished he had not. Then it might have been easier to forget him. She might not think about him every day.
Picture perfect memories,
Scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone cause, I can't fight it any more.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.
Rangiku hit a button on her speed-dial. She never had bothered to change it or remove his number from her cell phone contacts. Maybe she was simply foolish. The phone rang and rang. She told herself one more ring and she'd hang up.
"Rangiku?" Gin said, his voice was soft, almost a mumble. He had been asleep, she realized. "What time is it?"
"I'm sorry, it's, well, it's after one am here, I dunno what time it is for you," she said. "I just, I'm so lonely, Gin. I miss you. It hurts so much, I just need you."
"I'm sorry, Ran-chan," Gin said after a long pause. "Somethin' happen?"
"I… nothing. Nothing important."
"Somethin's got ya all riled up."
Rangiku did not want to tell him, but he was so good at prying things out of her that she just gave in and told him about her date in as few words as possible.
"Guess I shouln'a pried," Gin said after a pause. "Don' really wanna hear 'bout you datin' 'an all."
"I'm sorry, I know," Rangiku mumbled and started on her second bottle. "I just needed to hear your voice. I… I'll let you go now."
"Yeah, I gotta be up in four hours," he said. "It was… good ta hear yer voice, Ran-chan."
Gin hung up and Rangiku cried. She passed out on her couch somewhere in the middle of her second bottle of wine.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
Gin read over a report for the fourth time. Just like before, he had no idea what he had just read when he finished. He felt like hurling all the paperwork all over the room until there was a snow flurry of papers. Instead, he ran a hand over his face and leaned back in his black leather chair.
Abruptly he sat up again. That did not help at all. In fact, it made it all worse. Without anything to distract his mind, Rangiku's voice filled his head until it rang like bells. The words she had said during their brief conversation three days before rang the loudest, but there were other words too, so many other words. He would have thought it would be cacophonous, but instead it blended together beautifully. Gin really should not have expected anything less of Rangiku's lusty voice.
She missed him, or at least she missed him when she was drunk. Gin took that back immediately. Rangiku was drunk often, but it was rare she was a sad drunk. She was only a sad drunk when she was upset before she began drinking. He did not know whether or not he should hope she really did miss him.
Gin got up. He decided to call it an early day. Nothing was going to get done today, and he hated to waste his time reading something as trivial as a report five times.
He walked around for a long time, watching people, trying to figure out their minds from little details about then. Today was not a day to cause trouble with those people though. Instead, he eventually stopped by a liquor store and picked up a bottle of Jack Daniels.
At home, he sat on the floor, leaning against the couch, and poured himself a shot of whiskey. He threw it straight back with a skill that did not match the rarity of him drinking. It left a burning trail down his throat to his stomach, but he did not cough. Instead, he ate a Subway meatball sandwich and washed it down with more whiskey. After the sandwich, he took a few more shots, and very quickly the world started becoming disorienting and fuzzy.
Gin usually hated being drunk; he liked being in control of himself. Sometimes, though, alcohol was the only thing that could really take the edge off everything around him.
He kept glancing up at the door. It was beginning to feel like home there on the floor with whiskey banishing the strangeness of his new apartment. Rangiku would come in carrying some shopping bag or another. Gin stopped his thought. He wished she would, but that was from another time. Now, she had no idea what country he was in, let alone what city. Instead, he was just haunted by thoughts of her, especially now that she had called. How often did he cross her mind?
Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.
Whiskey began to take its toll on Gin. He did not drink often, so now the alcohol roared through his blood. He kept drinking too. His brain told him to stop, that he should have stopped after the third drink, but he was listening to his heart tonight.
Gin knew that was never a good idea for him. There were some people who could live through their hearts, but he was not one of them. He needed the logic to ground him. Still, Rangiku lived beautifully through her heart.
They were opposites that way, he told himself. It hurt so much less when he kept his feelings coiled deep inside himself, like a snake hidden beneath a rock in winter.
Rangiku had never believed that. For some reason, she thought he was something special. But he was not. He even knew that Rangiku was a woman to love forever, to give her everything he had and keep pushing. Gin had never deserved her. He had proved that even before he left. He traded a pay-raise for her. Clearly, he was the fool.
Another shot of whiskey slid down his throat. Now it no longer burned. Rangiku would have laughed at him, drunk like this. It would not have been lady-like or polite, it would have been loud and raucous, full of life. Her hair would toss and tumble with the force of her laugh, glimmering gold and strawberry.
Gin stared at the couch. For a moment, he could see her there, and then it faded away, a ghost vanishing into nothing. Gone.
His hands fingered his phone, pulling up a long-familiar number quickly despite unsure fingers. Gin stopped. He would not call; he had told her he would not, it would be easier. But Rangiku had called once. Now Gin missed Rangiku more than ever. He knew eventually he would end up calling and gave up resisting.
He pressed the send button down and waited.
"Gin? Is everything okay? It's late." Rangiku said, picking up before the second ring had finished.
"Do ya remember bein' up in the Ferris wheel wi' me?"
"Yeah," Rangiku said. She yawned and he heard sheets shifting around. She must be sitting up, probably leaning against her headboard, her hair loose around her shoulders, sliding down her back. Beautiful. "You said you were glad I was with you, that Ferris wheels made lonely."
"That's right," he said. "Watchin' all them people down there wi' me up there all alone'd be horrible. I wanted ya to always be there fer those damn rides."
"But stuff changed," Rangiku said, soft and low.
"Jus' thinkin' bout stuff."
"Gin, are you drunk?"
"Probably," Gin said and paused. "Yeah, drunk enough ta admit I miss ya, miss yer voice, yer smile…. The whole world's like a Ferris wheel, an' now I'm ridin' it alone."
"And whose fault is that?" Rangiku should have sounded angry, she should have snapped at him. Instead, she was talking in that same quiet, sad voice. It was worse than yelling.
"S' all mine…" Suddenly, Gin could not hardly stand it. "G'night, Ran," he said and hung up. One woman was making his world fall apart, and it was his fault.
It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk,
And I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
Rangiku flopped onto her couch, tired after pulling a double at the bar. All she wanted to do was sleep, but that seemed to be something that would be a long time coming tonight. It was hardly surprising; today was the six month anniversary of the day Gin left. Rangiku picked up a wine bottle from the floor and chugged the remains; just a third of a bottle, but it was a start.
She felt around the floor some more, but only came up with another empty bottle. After a sigh and a groan, Rangiku got up off the couch and made her way to the kitchen, barely missing from hitting her shin on the corner of her coffee table. She opened her pantry, searched her cabinets, and checked her refrigerator but she came up empty.
Rangiku saw her shopping list on the front of the fridge, held there with a smiley-face magnet. "Booze" was underlined five times. She had always been terrible with shopping lists. The liquor stores were closed now though. Rangiku let out a long sigh and thought about lying in bed, even if she could not sleep.
Then someone knocked on her door; it was after one. Rangiku glared at the door; the last time someone had knocked so late it was Jehovah's witnesses. Nothing good ever came from them knocking on doors, especially so late.
She threw open the door, the words "Go away" ready on her lips. They died away.
"Hey."
"What… what are you doing here, Gin?" Half of her wondered if he was really there at all.
"Ain't gonna invite me in? 'S late out an' it's kinda chilly out here."
Rangiku looked him over. His hair was a bit shorter, but otherwise, he looked the same. It had only been six months but it felt like so long ago it confused her. At least there should have been some indication he had left there, shouldn't there? But Rangiku's mirror told her that was not true. "I… alright, I guess. Sure, come in."
"Thank ya," he said, following her in.
Rangiku sat on a chair. "What are you doing here?"
Gin sat, but the next moment, he was pacing the floor. "I know it's late, but I had ta see ya. I… missed ya."
"And who's fault is that?" Rangiku said, she had said those words before though, and now they still sounded sad.
"Like I said 'fore, s'all mine. Every bit," Gin said and stopped mid-stride to look at her. "I wanna change that. Can't stand ta live without ya. I need ya."
"It's too late Gin, we're over," Rangiku said, but it came out like a whisper.
"Marry me."
Rangiku stared at him. That had always been a sore point for them. "You said marriage made you feel like chains were wrapped around you."
"Who cares, if I'm chained to ya."
"You can't be serious."
"I am."
"We haven't seen each other in six months, we've only talked twice."
"I love you, Ran-chan. I always will."
He was so close now Rangiku could feel his breath. "You'll just leave again."
"I quit tha' damn job. No more travelin' without ya. Never want ta sleep without ya again. I need ya, nothin' in life's any good without ya."
A tear slid down Rangiku's cheek. She needed him too. For a moment, Gin's face went still and pale, but Rangiku kissed him, wrapping her arms around him as tightly as she could. Gin returned her kiss easily. "Tha' a yes?"
"Yes, yes. I don't know what I'd do without you."
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
I just need you now.
Oh baby I need you now.