Stars and angel wings

Finny pattered lightly along the tall stone stairway that led up to the roof of the manor, clutching a rolled up blanket beneath his arm. Since the weather had turned fair he had been sneaking out to sleep on the roof in order to enjoy the cool night air. He had been doing this for the past several nights. It had been much easier to see the stars since the cold grip of winter had dissipated from the land.

One of the many joys Finny had found since being brought to the freedom of the Phantomhive Manor was watching the stars. There were very few things more relaxing to him then laying and watching the night sky and breathing in the fresh night air.

He knew that it was unlikely anyone would discourage him from doing this, but he still felt the need to sneak up here without letting anyone know, just in case he were wrong. Though he never said anything, he felt sure that Sebastian knew that he did this, and allowed it, so he could not really feel bad about it.

He took a refreshing gulp of cool air as he swung open the door and stepped out onto the dark roof. He quietly closed the door and headed to his usual resting place in the very center of the big rooftop. He stretched out directly onto the stone floor and tossed the blanket out over himself. He crossed his arms behind his head to pillow it, and gave a short yawn as he settled in.

His big teal eyes instantly began seeking his favorite constellations. Sebastian had taught him about a few of them: The Big Dipper. Orion's Belt. Draco. He let out a happy sigh. This was home to him. This was happiness. The cool touch of the breeze, the rustling of the night wind in the ancient trees, and the twinkling of those bright little stars peppering the dark sky.

After several long moments Finny began to yawn, and his eyes drooped slightly. He fought this battle every night he slept up here; he wanted to watch the stars for as long as he could, but they constantly coaxed him towards sleep. Eventually sleep took over, winning the battle as it always did. His head fell to the side slightly as his body relaxed, and soon he was snoring softly.

So it was that he did not see the white figure step out onto the roof and make its way over to him.

)))))))

"My lord," Ciel looked up from his desk as Sebastian entered the room.

"What is it, Sebastian, I'm trying to squeeze this work in before I retire."

"I understand, sir, but we have a visitor. Ash has arrived, and he requested to speak with you." Ciel looked up, surprised.

"But it's so late; the sun has just gone down."

"Yes, my lord."

Ciel gave a deep sigh and put down his pen.

"Very well." He stood up. "It had better be important."

Sebastian smiled lightly and led Ciel to the drawing room. There he sat, regal and dressed in white; Ash, the queen's butler.

"Ash…what a pleasant surprise." Ciel intoned, sitting down before his guest and crossing his legs. "What new mission does the queen have for me now, might I ask?"

The brilliantly white man smiled politely and said,

"Forgive me, your lordship, but I am not here to deliver a message from her Majesty."

"Oh?" Ciel sat up a bit straighter, a slight look of interest on his face. "Then why are you here?"

"I have recently come across some information that is of a…delicate nature in regards to yourself."

"What information might that be?" Ciel's eyes became defensive in the face of a possible accusation. Ash pulled out a bound file from beside him. Sebastian took it from him and handed it to Ciel. The young earl opened it and began scanning through the pages. He drew in a soft breath when he caught sight of a photo. Ash continued speaking as he was looking at it,

"As you can imagine, this was a very sorted organization. We would have sent you to shut them down, but we came across it entirely by mistake and took them down at once. It was quite impromptu, I assure you. However, you can see why this file might apply to you."

"Yes…" Ciel said quietly. "I had known something about this before, as you can imagine."

"It would be hard to conceal something so extraordinary, I would image." Sebastian was reading the file over Ciel's shoulder, a blank look on his face. A few seconds later he spoke,

"What are your intentions in coming to my master with this news?"

"Simply to advise him to keep this under wraps; if word got out that one of your servants is a product of such an unclean enterprise, well…" Ash gave Ciel a slightly worried look. "I cannot imagine it would bode well for you."

"On the contrary," Ciel said, shutting the folder and handing it to Sebastian. "I think people might think me someone of high compassion. However, I will take your warning into consideration."

"I should like to speak with him before I go, if that's alright. I want to let him know myself."

"I have no problem with that, but please, make it on your own time and not mine; I have my bed awaiting me." Ciel rose from the chair and Ash followed suit to bow to him.

"Thank you, your lordship, I shall endeavor to find him."

"Have Sebastian tell you were he is once I have retired." Ciel said with a dismissive wave, "Goodnight Ash."

"Goodnight your lordship."

Ash waited for several moments until Sebastian returned to the drawing room.

"He is in bed, then?" Ash asked.

"Indeed. Now, before I tell you where to find him, you must tell me what your intentions are."

"Excuse me?"

"Why do you wish to speak with him yourself? I'll have you know that I care about all of the servants in Lord Phantomhive's employ, and whatever upsets them, upsets me."

Ash smiled and ran a few fingers through the white bangs that hung down in his face.

"I assure you that I will in no way upset him. It is good news I am bringing, after all."

Sebastian narrowed his eyes even as he put on his overly polite smile.

"It is not the news you are bringing him that worries me."

"Oh? Then you do not trust me not to upset him, for whatever reason?" Ash asked, and gave a small laugh, stepping up to Sebastian and placing a hand on his shoulder. "Trust me, I want nothing more than to comfort the boy. He has been so strong through so much."

Sebastian bowed in order to cover up that he was shaking off Ash's hand.

"In that case I shall leave it up to you."

"Thank you, Sebastian." As Ash left, Sebastian straightened up and frowned, muttering to himself,

"Such impure intentions from an angel…he's no better than me."

)))))))

Finny felt his mother's fingers through his hair. They were warm, so warm, and so full of life. He could not see her face, but he could feel her presence. It was comforting and he tried to reach out for her, but he was snatched back by arms clothed in medical white. The harder he stretched out his arms the farther back he was dragged. He strained against them, seeing his own hands reaching out before him.

Finny gasped lightly as he opened his eyes, stars filling his vision. He breathed heavily in surprise; the stars were not the only image there to welcome him back from the terror of nightmares. A face, pale and smiling was leaning over him. As he became aware of it he realized that someone was stroking his hair, and that his head was resting on something warm and soft. It took another moment for recognition to dawn on him.

"Mr. Ash..?" He said breathlessly.

"Indeed, my boy."

"What…what in the world are you doing here at this time of night? And how did you get up here? And why are you petting me?" Finny blushed deeply, realizing that his head rested in the man's lap, and long pale fingers were running through his hair.

Ash gave a small laugh, full of mirth.

"You certainly are a straightforward lad, aren't you? It is refreshing to be met with such honest reactions."

"Um…thanks?" Finny said uncertainly, causing the man to chuckle once more.

"As to why I am here, I had an urgent message that I had to deliver to your master, and I decided to come up here for a breath of air. But what are you doing up here? Don't you have your own bed?"

"Of course I do," Finny said a little defensively, "all to myself. But I like to sleep out here when I can. I like to watch the stars. They're so pretty."

Finny was trying to decide how he felt about this situation. Ash's lavender eyes were gazing down at him with something very close to affection, and he was not sure how to respond.

"What an admirable love for the beauty of this world." Ash said quietly, almost to himself, before saying to Finny directly, "To answer your other question, I am 'petting you' because I thought you looked uncomfortable. Are you not?"

"Oh, not at all. They never used to give me anything to sleep on where I came from. I've slept on cold stone floors too many years to be bothered by it now, sir. In a way, I'm sort of thankful. Now I can sleep anywhere I want without being too uncomfortable."

Ash laid one of his hands against the side of Finny's face, his eyes softening as he said,

"Such a pure heart, even in the face of a dreadful past…how lovely…" Finny swallowed as a small thrill of pleasure raced through him. Him, lovely?

"Thank you, sir." He said, "But you don't have to say things like that. I'm just a plain and simple boy."

"You undervalue yourself, young one. You are a blessed boy with a heart of gold, just like this hair of yours. Pardon me for stroking it, but I find it hard to resist."

"That's…fine…" Finny said.

He had never really admitted it to anyone other than himself, but he had always found Ash to be a beautiful person; deep lavender eyes, white-ish hair, strong but slender build, his smooth voice…Finny couldn't' help every now and again, when he saw him visiting the manor, feel a surge of desire for him. This was saying something, as men in white normally brought up bad memories for him. There was just something about Ash's imperialistic appearance that drew Finny to him.

Despite this, they had never passed words before, and he couldn't even be sure that Ash had even seen him face to face rather than vaguely across the lawn while he was working. Yet here he now knelt, cradling and stroking Finny's head and speaking such kind words to him that Finny thought his heart might burst.

"Um…Mr. Ash? Don't…don't you have somewhere to be? I mean, the queen..?"

"The queen can wait, young one. You are the one I want to be with right now." Finny swallowed and slowly, so as not to seem rude, sat up so that he was facing the man.

"Sir, I really don't think it would be best for you to delay your return to the queen by wasting time here with me. You don't even know me." Ash's smile had never gone away, and he reached out to cup the side of Finny's face again.

"Finnian, my dear boy, you are someone who loves more than should be allowed after all you've been through."

Finny's eyes widened as the statement, a strange fear shooting through him.

"What…what I've been through?" He asked in a tight voice.

"Oh yes," Ash said in response to Finny's startled expression. "I know about that place from which you came."

Finny's breath sped up and an almost terrified look spread over his face.

"Fear not, Finnian. I have no intention of ever sending you back there." Finny still didn't relax, and he even pulled his face away from Ash's hand.

"How…did you find out about that?" He asked slowly, not meeting Ash's eyes.

"The queen's men infiltrated it recently and shut down the ungodly experiments that were being conducted. We found files there. Yours was one of them, my poor child."

Finny's head snapped up, eyes gazing directly into the deep lavender pools. He saw in them the truth; Ash was not lying to him. Finny swallowed hard, then opened his mouth for a long moment before the words came out in the barest hint of a whisper,

"They…they're gone?"

"Every single one, Finnian. The entire operation has been dismantled and the monsters who tormented you are in prison."

Finny drew in a breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them again a few seconds later they were filled with tears. He wanted to speak, to say something. A thank-you, a praise, a wail, anything, but he could not make a sound. He could only sit there with tears streaming down his face and stare at the man.

Eventually a small choked sound escaped him and he began to swipe at the tears.

Two long arms wrapped around him unexpectedly, and he stiffened a little as Ash pulled him close.

"There's no need to hide anymore, Finnian. Let it all go."

Finny thought briefly about how strange it was that he and Ash barely knew each other, and yet in this moment Finny felt as though he had known him his entire life. The comfort he offered, his scent, his voice, Finny's entire being began to cry out for them without him having any idea why.

So he did not deny himself; he clung to the man and wept quietly into his shoulder as he was rocked slowly back and forth. After his crying began to die down, Ash spoke.

"Tell me about it, my child."

"What?"

"Tell me how it all happened. How did you end up there?"

Finny sniffed deeply before he began speaking slowly,

"My mum was a seamstress. She was the one who kept us all fed. My dad…he…he would get drunk a lot and when he was home he was always angry or useless. He used to beat her…my mum." Finny felt Ash's arms tighten around him, silently urging him on in safety.

"I don't remember how young I was…maybe six or seven, when my dad came home nearly sober, and announced he was leaving, and taking me with him. It was the first time I ever saw my mum fight him. She hit him with everything she could lay her hands on, but…he was stronger, and he took me. The last memory of her I have is her lying on the floor, with blood on her face, reaching toward me and screaming for my dad to leave me with her…" Finny felt more tears running down his cheeks, and he felt as if his body was weakening as he spoke. His hands dropped limply to his sides and he felt all his strength diminish.

Ash then did something that pierced Finny's heart; he lay Finny down on the blanket he had brought up with him, and then laid down beside him to draw him against his chest. They were lying as though they were lovers. A warm hand was rubbing his back in soothing circles.

"Keep going, Finnian, you are purging your spirit with your words."

Finny didn't exactly understand what he meant by that, but he thought he knew what Ash was trying to say; it was always cleansing to talk about what hurt you, and Finny had just never done it before.

He braced himself with a deep sigh and continued,

"My dad took me and used me as a pick-pocket so he could be sure to get his daily drink. We slept in alleyways, on the street, in abandoned houses, wherever we could. Eventually my dad took to beating me as well, when I didn't steal enough. One day…" Finny choked a bit and had to swallow deeply before continuing, "One day when we were trying to find a place to sleep, a carriage stopped by us and the man inside called out to my dad. I think now that he must have had a trained eye to know who would be willing to do anything for an extra coin, and he saw that at once in my dad. On the spot, my dad sold me to him."

"I might have feared my dad, I might have hated the beatings and the cursing, I might have been angry at him for hurting my mum, but he was still my dad, and I didn't want to leave him. It didn't matter to him what I wanted; he all but threw me at the man when he saw the gold in his hand. So I was taken away, and I found out that the man who bought me was a doctor…" A shudder passed through him. Ash continued to rub his back, cooing gently this time.

"You're almost there, my child, keep going."

"Do I have to?"

"If you wish to be cleansed of all the confusion, yes, you must."

Finny nodded slowly, his body feeling more numb than ever as he went on.

"The man took me to a building somewhere far away, I slept most of the ride there. When we went inside I thought how cold it seemed inside. It was all white, and stone, and metal. He took me to a room and the first thing he gave me was a hot meal, and I could have said I loved him for that. I could have loved him even more when he arranged a bath for me, and new clothes. I didn't think about how plain and thin they were, I was just happy that they weren't crawling with lice."

"But then…then they started…sticking needles into my veins. They told me at first they were just going to give me a few shots, but they never stopped. It was one syringe after another. I don't remember what number they got up to before I began to struggle, before they had to literally strap me down to that table and…I can't ever forget that first night. It was like fire running all over my body, and the next second it felt like my head was spinning, and….I'll just never forget it."

Ash ran his fingers through the pale blonde hair once more, asking,

"How old were you then?"

"Probably nine or ten, I think. I'm not sure. I don't even know how many years I spent in there. All I know is that I was there long enough for my body to change. I remember thinking that this must have been because of whatever they were pumping into me, but one of the doctors explained it all to me when I…" Finny blushed deeply, and hid his face in Ash's shoulder.

"Do not feel embarrassed, tell me." Ash encouraged.

"Well, I…I woke up one morning and I was covered in something sticky. My heart was pounding and my skin felt hot. I was scared. I was scared a lot because my body was always reacting in strange ways to the drugs, but never had something happened….down there…I was so scared that I worked up the nerve to ask one of the doctors about it. He laughed, but he did tell me that it had nothing to do with the drugs, and he told me all about it. I think that might have been a year or two before I escaped."

"One of the thousands of drugs they tested on you actually worked, didn't it? And that's how you escaped?"

"Yes, I felt the power surging in my muscles, and I used them to run away…then Mr. Sebastian found me and brought me here. It was so wonderful. I go outside every day and no one keeps me inside if I don't want to be. Mr. Sebastian taught me to read and write, and he brought Meyrin and Bard too, and we've all been such good friends…I can't ever stop being thankful for that."

With that, Finny felt like an enormous weight was lifted off his chest, and he inhaled deeply.

"Good lad." Ash said quietly. "You are cleansed. You can move on completely now."

Finny felt a slight blush creep into his cheeks. He was still lying in Ash's arms, and now that the emotions had subsided, he felt a bit awkward.

"Um…Mr. Ash…thank you…" He felt Ash's response as a breath through his hair,

"Your most welcome, my child." Ash placed a kiss on his head and continued to hold him.

"Um…Mr. Ash..?"

"Yes?"

"How long are you planning to hold me like this?"

"Do you not like it?"

"That's not it, I mean, I enjoy it a lot, that is to say it feels good. I mean, no one's held me like this since my mum and I just…" Finny realized he had been speaking far too fast.

"It's alright, Finnian. You can enjoy it if you wish. It was my intention to comfort you."

Finny relaxed.

"Alright…thank you."

"Sweet, innocent child…" Ash inhaled the scent of his hair and mumbled, "How I wish to be one with that sweetness of your spirit. That enduring purity of soul…"

"Become…one?" Finny asked, feeling himself heat up at once as he thought of the only way he knew to become one with another person.

"Oh, my dear child, how can I even think about it? You are so pure…"

Finny felt himself trembling slightly as he felt that there was an opportunity presented in those words that he could not resist as least testing.

"Mr. Ash, sir…I mean…I wouldn't mind if…you wanted to…become one…with…me…" His words were so soft, so hesitant, and yet so sincere that Ash stopped breathing as he heard them.

"Finnian, wouldn't you really?"

"No, I wouldn't mind. I've actually…wanted to before. I'm…not as pure as you seem to think." Finny thought that the heat in his cheeks would burn up his whole body. There was a long pause in which Finny couldn't tell if Ash was considering his invitation, or shocked at it.

He was just opening his mouth to apologize when Ash pulled back, and suddenly kissed him.