Alright, let's get this out of the way with little questioning and little moaning/complaining. These stories have existed for such a long time, and at one point (when I barely knew what a semicolon was) I tried to write one. Frankly, it was awful and I deleted it. So, now that I have a decent comprehension of the English language, it is time once again to try my hand back at the Fanfiction ring!

*In fair Ontario, where we lay our scene, a washed up reality show host torn apart by low ratings and angry producers sits in the living room of a small apartment, doomed to once again return to the show he is so known for.*

Chris sat in his chair, can of Bud Lite (ever vain, trying to maintain his washboard abs) in his hand, a rerun of 'Password' playing.

"Things a microwave would say!" he shouted at the television. "God, this girl is stupid."

Chris looked over at the wall, which held a large collage of his times on the set of 'Total Drama'. After the fourth season flopped, the new contestants were kicked out of the program, in hopes of bringing back the 'All Stars' like Owen and Duncan; the ones that everybody loved.

But no one decided to see when the contracts were to expire.

A mere one hour late past the expiration of the contracts of the cast of the first 3 seasons, Chris tried bribery, blackmail, anything to get them to return.

'Total Drama' had ended on a low note, cancelled for low ratings and lack of interest.

Until one day, where a mysterious deus ex machina appeared, when by the magic of the keyboard of one teenager's laptop, the phone rang.

Chris didn't get up from his seat. "The machine will get it." He murmured to himself, continuing to watch his daytime television.

A beep was heard, and Chris' voice was heard, a pre-recorded message. "Hey, this is Chris Maclean, you may know my from such works as the 'Total Drama' series. And I think it's cool to wear your seatbelt! …Wait, this is my voicemail, not the thing for the taxis the mayor asked me to do…GODDAM-"

Another beep was heard, and a deep male voice came onto the message. "Hello, Chris? It's Frank, the CEO of Teletoon. The thing is….we're trying to bring back 'Total Drama'"

The arrogant man stumbled out of his chair and picked up the phone immediately. "I'll do it!" he shouted into the phone happily.

"Quiet down now." said Frank. "Here's the deal: We want to try the season over again, with a new group of campers. Do your best to try and make this the best season yet. We're giving you total creative control, alright? Just two things: There are 14 campers, and none of them can be Mary-Sues."

"What's a Mary Sue?" asked Chris, confused.

"Never mind that." Frank responded curtly. "Just make sure we have some interesting people this year. If someone is a loner, don't accept them, because they don't make a good fanfic-I mean television show."

Excited, Chris hopped onto his cheap HP laptop and posted a tweet to his amassed 4000 followers that Total Drama would be back!

Next, setting up his webcam, Chris began explaining the contest in the form of a Youtube video.

"And finally," he said, "the competition will take place on the island we all know and love: Wawanakwa! Send your submissions to 123 Street St., California, which can be found in text form at ' '. See you all at the island!"

For the sake of courtesy, we have posted the submission form from ' ' here as well. We ask that characters be well thought out, original, and well described. That is all.

Name:

Gender: (Male, Female, Zygote, take your pick. Except for Zygote.)

Age: (Ages 15-18)

Stereotype: (As Frank said, loners will not be accepted. Also, please try to be not only original, but please don't give me a copy/pasted OC that you post to every possible story. You know who you are.)

Physical Description: (Provide at least a paragraph in this section; this is how we first see your character, and remember: First impressions are everything.)

Clothing: (Again, be descriptive, but this is not as important.)

Personality: (Easily the most important aspect of the form. Please be descriptive, and at least a paragraph is expected. Considering these are teenagers, however, I understand they can be a bit 'bi-polar-ish', but here's the warning: Any personality along the basic lines of 'Nice unless you're mean to them or their friends then they become the spawn of Satan and hellfire and etc.' will be swiftly swept under my rug of a town map.

Likes: (At least 5 is appreciated. Options not allowed to be in this: Winning, Being Happy, or Friends. Why? Because EVERYBODY enjoys those things. Too obvious.)

Dislikes: (Again, at least 5 is appreciated. Options not allowed to be in this: Losing. Why? See above, but replace 'enjoy' with 'dislikes' and ignore the awful grammar in that sentence be doing so.)

Audition Tape: (I'm not going to require this, as 90% of the time they are awfully done but here's the Catch 22: If you make an audition tape, you'll be much more likely to make it in!)

Not much else is left to be said. Wingnut, Kazaam, Homburg. Please submit in PM, as otherwise is against guidelines.

Now, go outside and get some fresh air, you cheese-eating surrender monkey, because Mickey loves ya.